Thursday, 10 November 2016

episode 138 a truth calls

how poignant and disturbing was that opening on shashi ji's desperate attempt to communicate, then his pushing his stalled hand to do his bidding and grab khushi's fingers, wrench away her ring and fling it. a brilliant shot, thick and roiled with emotion, a despairing love.

and yet, he couldn't do what he'd set out to. save khushi.

the malevolence walked in with a smooth rejoinder to a fallen man's broken call of warning.

his daughter couldn't connect the dots though she was extremely disturbed about shyam herself. she'd been picking on clues, hints, a faint sense of foreboding in the air, all was not as it should be she could sense.

a terrible truth is on its way to revelation, a young girl with an inordinate ability to love others, who asked nothing practically for herself, who has even felt the touch of love but never that of self love, not an iota of cunning in her, and who has in her own way taken her mind as far away from that love because there is the matter of his commitment to another, an innocent clean clear eyed girl who never ever did deserve the uncouth filthy game played by a man she had met quite by chance one day... she is headed toward a horrible truth.

the sheer and gross unfairness of it all makes one angry almost.

the vulnerable look in her eyes, and their questions. 

when shyam came she asked him in her forthright way about not being there that afternoon. he diverted khushi's attention with talk of akash ji and jiji and khushkhabari, knowing how happy she was and how her mind would instantly jump to that topic.

yet she persisted. how did you know?

khushi was clearly feeling things and was not in a mood to ignore everything.

i almost wished she had, for i couldn't bear to see her so badly struck. it would be a body blow when it came and what would happen to this young and happy eighteen year old then. aren't we allowed to keep our dreams just a little longer? and yet, i was happy it happened.

"ghabriye mat, hume to aise hi mazaa aata hai...!" don't worry, i have fun when it becomes like this, shyam was sickening in his gloating euphoria. he now could control both shashi ji's girls it seems. i was watching on father's day, made everything feel even more obscene.

"haan! wo kab aaye?" bua ji exclaimed on hearing shyam's name. he'd said he knew of payal and akash's engagement from her. instantly khushi knew he'd lied.

feelings swarmed around khushi... swirling, confusing... like that tyre being rolled... change is coming...

camera went around her slowly, this track is very much an ipk device to portray a character's inner struggle, confusion.

satya narayan pooja at rm. and just as khushi had been happy and verbose and making lists for the engagement at gh, here a happy mees kasyap does the same. both girls will come to a terrible crossroads the very next day... la will lose the man she believes she loves, khushi will practically lose her sanity.

there's talk of khushi's fiance the next morning and again asr can't take it. a feeling is asserting itself regardless of the tycoon's faraq nahin padta and glares.

anjali calls khushi to invite her and the relentless pursuit of truth to be found out continues, she hears shyam and he says a word she has already heard him use... ranisahiba. he had a glib explanation. but she can recognise the voice, it's familiar, even before this has happened, and now that word?

did i hear ranisahiba or... she wonders, eyes completely troubled, what's pulling her in toward a fate she doesn't fathom... yet senses its presence. beautiful writing and acting. this episode was khushi's and sanaya made sure no one took it away from her even for an instant. i watched her absorbed feeling her steeping in that scary feeling, struggling, trying to get on top of it.

looked like, the subconscious has made a terrifying connection and the conscious is trying to push it away... did i hear ranisahiba? of course, she knows she did, she knows what that means so she must not know, not right now...

she and la wear the same colour today. another little game by creatives? when la and di giggled together i felt sad for these two women, one of them will remain deceived for many more months, at least la too has started noticing things... today khushi refused to call asr, a look from la said she was intrigued.

as khushi set off to call di, a beautiful sequence of her walking slowly, words floating at her... the voice, the words, a growing certainty and a worried push away... how can this be...

whatever this is.

shyam is merrily conning his wife, anjali hobbles out and khushi doesn't see shyam, again. but this time, she needs to know who anjali ji's husband is. she cranes her neck to see him.

she clearly suspects something and frazzled beyond words she is... turning again and again to see the man...

"yeh hume kya ho raha hai... hum aisa kyun soch rahe hain ki anjali ji ke pati... yeh hum kar kya rahe hai..." what's happening to me? why am i thinking that anjali ji's husband...? what am i doing? khushi admonishes herself, the girl who is circumspect to a fault was ready to barge into anjali's bedroom just to see her husband.

the curdling thickening fear and horror in khushi is palpable. i was reminded of asr's talk in the head after almost kissing khushi on diwali night, that was fear of another kind.

terribly worried and vulnerable in that state, she walks away...

and we come to a brilliantly written little scene that again illuminates the very nature of this thing we call love.

without planning, without volition, khushi's feet walk in the direction it sets for itself. shaken and in need of some stability, someone she can trust, she walks straight into asr's room.

no knocking. no asking permission. for she is lost in her thoughts, it's her instincts that have found him, she has no idea where she has walked up to. or rather whom.

the one her instinct knows is trustworthy, hers, her home... 

an offhand "tum yahan kya kar rahi ho?" alerts her to her whereabouts.

she looks around dumbfounded, nothing quite registering... beautiful direction.

"kya hua?" what happened?

"kuch chahiye tumhe?" do you want anything?

"kuch baat karni hai?" do you want to say anything?

he is not at all his dragon self. he can sense something too perhaps.

and just as she had come without asking, she turns around abruptly and leaves, leaving him mystified...

he leaves it at, "unbelievable."

la is wearing that necklace, the one he gave la because khushi loved it. i wonder in that fragile state how khushi felt to see that necklace. knowing her, she probably refused to let it bother her, just get on with things.

another favourite ipk devise, the lost ear ring was used to let shyam enter the havan area without being spotted by khushi.

the first time i saw this i had no idea if they'd go all the way through to the revelation, i know it hurt khushi terribly and she made the mistake of not telling asr which led to the events of the night of valentine's day... but was i glad that this crazy engagement with shyam was over.

there was something heinous and unutterably obscene about this whole shyam thing. her remaining unknowing of his mind and mendacity would have made it a million times more sick. every time he touched her or acted as someone with a right to question her, it felt wrong and adulterous... khushi, clean, pure, totally goodhearted being smeared by this, or anywhere even remotely connected to it, made me shudder. ghin aati hai hume... i feel repulsed... she said later about his lascivious intent and actions. i felt that every time he even looked at her. and a part of me always feels bad that her best palat was given to shyam.


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