Thursday, 10 November 2016

episode 140 where are you

"phone karoon ya na karoon..." should i call or not...
felt like a whole confession of deep abiding forever sort of love to me... 

i have never seen asr in this quandary. he does what he wants to... since when does he wonder and fret... that too about making a call? but she was crying, she hadn't completed her sentence... then she'd upped and left with a cryptic..."hume jaana hoga."

he ran after her, well he tried not to let it be obvious... glided smoothly (i was half dead at the sight of course, needing to rewind several times to catch the scene) into the living area following khushi... but asr doesn't chase after departing girls with incomplete sentences... yet this asr does. people talk about arnav and asr and the difference and as if he is his own doppelganger. and it's an either or situation... asr or arnav. i have always thought of him as one single person, a side of him choked by tragedy. leaving a hard, stony, surface to view, not too many chances to peak within. a fort as it were with reinforced ramparts and a very wide mote, drawbridge usually up.

the arrival of khushi, the connect with her, begins to bring down this fort... let us peer in. she released his withheld side... he grew back into all of him... in my way of thinking... he never really changed and became someone else...he was always this man. the potential was a given. the catalyst came along.

i adore asr with his good, bad, indifferent... he feels complete and real. there will always be inexplicable sides to him, and that gussa, that is his. but now, the tenderness trickles in when he least suspects and a need to listen carefully to someone, look for signs... he wants to give a damn... he wants to be the one she says everything to... only he still doesn't know why.

asr is beside himself with worry, when his girl friend makes a face at his indifference and complains all he can ask is "lavanya, khushi kahan hai?"

when she's taken aback and replies, she's left and she said as much, he is still not out of that sensation... "par woh bahut hi..." when an actor gets his character the way barun got asr, you come to these indescribably beautiful moments, impossible to put words to. he was at a loss for words himself, just knew she was not good and wanted to make sure she was ok... an overwhelming need in him... he even asked his sister in an unguarded way about khushi. then of course, at her curious gaze, had to pretend, it was because of all the pending work. anjali picked something in that tone of his... not so easy to fool this girl... alas, we all meet our waterloos, hers had to be the man she loved the most in the world. in anjali's story i always sensed a tragic vein. look at her life... a birth defect (possibly) that made her depend, complicated things, parents taken on her wedding night, all the fears of being alone, never looked at... then along came shyam... and she let her personalty become completely dependent on him. a fine, educated, sharp girl... yet the adversary sensed the weakness and moved right in.

in the process, anjali slowly allowed herself to become less and less, till nothing of her practically remained visible... without him i am nothing. what a position to have. this was perhaps anjali's fortress, this retiring from herself... letting someone else become everything. strange how humans cope. there was tragedy in her life... so when there was a clamour for her to meet someone, i was a bit what the... she needed to digest the horror first, didn't she... slowly away from any interference or manipulation find her way back again? ... badi sayani... needed to get to her mind again.

sorry to digress, but every time i see anjali minus shyam, she seems like another person altogether. some relationships actually suffocate and kill people. we may think marriage is symbiotic, two equals equally nourished by each other.

but what if it's between a parasite and a host? where the former saps the latter of all strength.

la's look again said so much... she is not being able to deny the facts anymore. her man has another woman on his mind... all the time. happens, and every time it does, hearts break... we are going steadily toward one. in this episode, adroit direction of a couple of moments says more than hours might have. that look in la's eyes... she wants him, she is upset with his indifference, then the thing she doesn't want to see is right before her eyes.

he knows la looks askance, but is too worried to really be able to mask it.

khushi had been crying.. "par woh bahut hi..."

khushi is in the heart of a storm. the man she was engaged to is anjali's husband. that in itself is enough reason to shatter and never trust a soul again. but here are deeper issues. and the entire episode builds these... sometimes the writing is too insistent, heavy handed... as though making sure the viewer gets the point... huge amounts of lines on how important the relationship is to anjali... nani ji, mama ji, mami ji, then anjali... in quick succession all bring it up. for good measure some blessing the couple and praying for their continued happiness is also called for.

we are shown how much he is loved by all.

then comes shyam's deadly road runner act. he will use every ploy he can... usually that involves sensing someone's weakness and cashing in on it big time... in this case, khushi's love for her family... "kin haalaat," under what circumstances they got engaged... he even tries to win the gentle khushi's mind with stories of not getting love in that rich people's home... everything he can think of, he manages to convince her that he had actually wanted to tell her before their engagement... but finally, a little surpise. khushi walks off. enough.

the constant harping on the issue of anjali's dependence and shyam's evil, which together writers hope will convince us that khushi needed to conceal the truth... is frankly tiring.

when your proposition is weak, i guess you must convince much.

abhaas's acting, fairly un-nuanced really didn't help either... nor the overuse of the shyam creepy music.

one dialogue stood out though...
"yeh zaroori nahin khushi ji ki jo hume dikhe wohi sach ho..." not necessary what you see is in fact the truth. asr will see something which will seem to be one thing but be in fact quite another. and this inability to suss the truth beyond the visual will lead to extreme injustice at one level.

but could we equally say, had khushi not been swayed by anything and divulged the truth to him... we wouldn't have needed to come to the terrace that night?

was there a sense of krishna here again... was khushi somewhere responsible for that wedding in a temple? her action set it off. somewhere an acknowledgment that see it how you will, but hiding the truth was incorrect and led to the hell it did. if only, there is mention of that later, especially the night he goes to apologise to her.

a wrong notion, that strong people do not make mistakes and acknowledging they've made a big one will tarnish them somehow. we forgave asr his relationship with la... we didn't call him lech and creep because he was falling for khushi while still with another woman. why? because the character was real and honest... my belief. making khushi unreal was the biggest disservice to her. smacked of a male dominated, fuzz creating television world where we are fed a completely wrong notion of female power... again keeping us prisoners of "culture" completely without voice.

in this milieu... to have given us lavanya... please will the writer who got away with it, stand up and accept a long ovation from an old woman.

shyam was evil. he was inclined to unholiness.

khushi was not. yet... she hid evil... no matter for whatever good she may have deemed it was justified. was she right?

ah these questions... 

something i just didn't get the meaning of.

that shyam standing in the middle of the road, about to be run over... not moving. why? was he really lost and completely unfocussed... or was it his game to force khushi to acknowledge him...

did not understand the significance of the scene at all... maybe just his sick mind assessing how far khushi can be played... he needn't have worried, the real game had been played by writers already... i bet they knew most intelligent viewers would not agree with that holding back...


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