Thursday, 10 November 2016

episode 142 it's over


"nahin woh..." and the music paces up, low rumbling disturbed, a reflection of his state of mind. a terrible faux pas, he's just called his fiance by another woman's name, a name that seems to be on his tongue all the time, whether he's aware of it or not. an indrawn breath, a hand raised to stop his fiance from leaving, but she's gone.

"yeh kya kar raha hoon main..." what am i doing... confused, ire at self. he remembers things between them. not pretty things, "mera aur apna mazak banaya..." he's yelling at her, you made a fool yourself and me by proposing to me in front of everyone. she's crying and asking,  don't you have love for me, don't you care. he's yelling back "parwah nahin hai..." then backing it up with all that he's done to show he did care.

but today that terrible slip was also a telling one. he can't ignore this whole thing any more,
he realises there was something less in it all along. both of them needed it for their own reasons... but his reasons were not the correct ones.

on a slow close up, three quarter profile, eyes raising as a thought filters... "main ne lavanya ke saath sahi nahin kiya... shayad kabhi bhi nahin..." i didn't do right by lavanya, perhaps never.

and he makes his way to her room. on the way he will see khushi, but even that won't stop him, man with a purpose. now that he knows the truth, he must act on it. this is absolute asr, his conscience once stirred, must be heeded. he errs but he does do his best to make amends and correct his path.

and so we come to a break up scene that is hard to forget... ever.


 

don't look so sad
i know it's over
but life goes on
and this old world



will keep on turning...

 
let's just be glad
we had some time to spend together


 
there's no need to watch the bridges
that we're burning




lay your head upon my pillow
hold your warm and tender body
close to mine 
 hear the whisper of the raindrops
blowing softly against my window
make believe you love me


 
one more time
for the good times



don't say a word about tomorrow
or forever
there'll be time enough for sadness
when you leave me...

"i know, asr, tumhe ye sab pasand nahin but aaj akhri bar... sirf ek baar... kya tum mujhe hug kar sakte ho?"
i know, asr, you don't like all this but today for the last time... only this once... could you please hug me?


 
lay your head...
hmm hm... hold your warm and tender...
for the good times
for the good times, a song i'd heard so many years ago feels like a part of life, found its pictures all of a sudden. a poignant, poised, sensitively felt, written, directed, performed ending of a relationship. a maturity i at least have never seen on indian television. it felt like a song.
all the little moments of the sequence were lovely. this perhaps is my favourite:


 
"lavanya, tum jo mere liye feel karti ho... shayad mein woh tumhare liye nahin karta... aur shayad kabhi kiya bhi nahin..."

lavanya,what you feel for me... maybe i don't feel for you... (then the killer next line) and perhaps never...

this is sublime delivery of dialogue, making it your own, delving into your life to find the right tone, inflection, voice, sigh for this heartbreak you must cause...

"par ab..." swallows... "ab aur jhoot nahin bole sakta. in fact, ab jhoot bolkar tumhe aur insult nahin kar sakta... mere liye nahin... tumhari khatir."
but now... now i can't lie any more. in fact, i don't want to lie and insult you any more... not for myself... for you...

"i mean... hum dono..." walks closer looking for the right words... "lavanya, tum aur main...yeh sahyad.."
i mean, the two of us... lavanya, you and i... this perhaps...

she stops him, holds his hand...

"i know, asr, mujhe laga hi tha tum yeh kahoge..." an the essentially honest girl, lavanya, who wouldn't lie about the big things... "shayad mujhe pehle hi mehsoos ho gaya tha..."

i know, asr, i thought you'd say this... perhaps i already had that feeling...

i was scared it would have this end...you know without any...
she turns away to wipe her tears.

okay, a little ramanchi, how can i not love this:
frantic activity... la is not letting him come to the words that must be said.

"lavanya, mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai." lavanya, i need to tell you something.

wonderful tense music, she prattles on about parlour, work, etc.

hand on her shoulder. she had put a hand on his so he may stop hurting himself... her. now his hand, hurt is inevitable, he needs to start giving it and receiving it too.

"lavanya mujhe tumse baat karni hai... lavanya."

"no"


clenches jaw.

"you don't have to..."

"lavanya."

"i said no, asr."

"meri baat suno."
listen to me. gentle, loving, kind... rakshas.

"please, lavanya."

"lavanya, mujhe tumse kuch kehna hai."
third time.

"nahin, asr, please kuch mat bolo." no, asr, please don't say anything... don't say a word, about tomorrow... or forever...

he puts his hand on her cheek... the sweetest, tenderest touch, remorse in its heart and a sadness at a thing gone by... it's over.

on the other side of this carefully designed episode, khushi will tell anjali that it's over between her and her mangetar. yet because of a broken mangalsutra will be tied to a lie that she cannot, or will not, reveal. because her heart made a promise to a girl she feels for.

"kuch nahin hua hai, anjali ji... royiye mat... sab theek hai... aapke pati bhi aur aapki shadi bhi aur kuch hoga bhi nahin, hum aapse yeh vada karte hain..."
nothing has happened, anjali ji... don't cry... everything is fine... your husband and your marriage as well and nothing will happen, i promise you that.


la will make asr promise not to reveal anything to the family yet, not before akash and payal's engagement. in parallel scenes, for the sake of everyone's happiness, two girls will opt for silence on a major truth. 

i did not agree with khushi's keeping the lid on shyam's reality, but the episode nonetheless was powerful and sleek in crafting. even as he became free to go to khushi, she made a choice that would tie up their story in the most vicious of knots. as one knot unravels, the next one begins... almost felt like a comment on life itself. an episode that left in me a terrible feeling of... even before it's begun, it's over.




credit: uploader

i have heard other versions growing up,
but somehow the sound of the writer with his song felt good.





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