Saturday, 22 April 2017

khushi's questions

khushi doesn't run away, khushi doesn't simper in a corner and become achhi ladki, khushi doesn't leave him be. it's 111, they've been to the poolside and both lost control. and soem of us on blast from the past are watching it all all over again and minutely dissecting the moment... teehee, nothing new. horizon feels, this was not very khushi like, i of course had to write a paper on it.

ok, now we argue and get all dissertation-ish or whatever it is that phd seekers do.

i thought that would be exactly the kind of questions she would ask. a straight forward girl... a very troubled girl with all these crazy thoughts going through her... a girl who is completely rattled by a man's intense attention... she is not supposed to want this but yet she does... she is not supposed to fling herself on him when she needs a place of safety, of everything is ok, yet she does... she can't stop thinking about him... he is in her work place, her thoughts, everywhere... she has been asked to marry another but she sees this man as her husband...

in short, our jhalli is in super turmoil.

then he seeks her out. and that fall of hers diverts everything to a sensuous physical thing over the fixing of an ankle... even thinking about it, breathing laboured, she goes through it... a thousand thoughts in her head... and then his turning back, and the interlude both seemed to just want no matter what. or who.

that is what the scene had in it i felt. everything and everyone else stopped for both. no one thought of lavanya... not asr... not khushi.

a more powerful feeling asserted itself, for it was just that, more potent than what either felt for la. what either felt for or about anything.

at a rational level of course khushi would always know it's not right, but this was way beyond all things rational.

and because it was so bizarre, she had to find out... at this moment, she was just a girl lost in an utterly confusing situation, she needed to find answers. precisely because she was not planning and scheming this, she needed clarity. thinking once the answers were there, everything would become easier to handle. her mind was not telling her all the what if scenarios, it just wanted calm. desperately.

khushi in trouble always talks non stop... quiet is not her way. she started to talk, question upon question.

and the more she asked, the more scared he got. appalled at his lack of control, every question stoked his feeling of this can't be happening to me.

two people really desperate in the situation they find themselves in.

pity, la had to bear the brunt of it.


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