Tuesday, 28 July 2015

episode 210 not letting you go

jab tum mere pas hoti ho... humari dhakane ek ho jaati hai.

i want you i just want you... don't you know that faraq padta hai.

and then the most beautiful scene ever... two lovers young and carefree canoodling... on their little poolside. their whole world here. nothing is missing. it's a perfect moment...

she tries to move her hand away from where he holds it pressed against his heart, he pulls her back. oh that tug and keeping of her hand against his dhadkane. (even when he is not facing camera, just look at his absorption in her, and the love story written in that hand holding hers firm right on his heart... look at how he holds her hand... must i believe these two people are not real?)

shake of head, heart in eyes, no, don't go. a curiously contemporary and slightly western take on a very old song i felt... abhi na jao chhorke...

she smiles in wonder, joy, this is her world... this crazy man who does ridiculous things.

for a moment, she is the khushi i knew... unafraid, adventurous, ready to find out, sunshine girl who believes in only the goodness of life... she vanquishes evil with that.

she gives in to all her feelings when she sees his little boy, not complicated love and rests her head on his shoulder.

when she thinks a bit, then overwhelmed by emotion, lets her hand move over theirs treasuring their togetherness, a heart melting half smile on his face as though registering the meaning of her gesture, then he slips his hand up her shoulder...

an unbearably beautiful interlude of hands, her hand slipping over their locked ones, her bangles move as though saying something (i loved that little shot, unplanned i know, that's why so beautiful maybe) his little sukoon in heart, his hand coming up to rest on her shoulder, gather her closer so that he might lay his cheek on the top of her head and oh the smile of asr.

never ever... not even when he was 14 and smiling has he felt the feelings of this smile.

it's a warming and settling of the heart moment.

for her.

for him.

and in the middle of all the tenderness, somehow a streak of heat radiates, an ever present desire, temperature rising.

this is strictly an actor driven shading. no one can tell you to create this... you feel things a certain way and express that.

i adore the underlying of desire.

they snuggle, they gently move against each other, heads lift, eyes ask question, eyes answer.

di calls. what timing... really, aap bhi na.

she pulls away a bit, she can't deny her sister in law's call...  but he holds her back again. no. don't go. stay with me. not letting you go.

oh sublime possessiveness laced with knee shaking love.

today nothing matters, kissi cheez ka koi matlab nahin... agar matlab hai toh sirf iss baat ka... ki main hamesha hamesha tumse... how headily we are coming to that moment in the future. what's happening here will tell us clearly just how true what he says is. asr with his guard completely down, wants, loves, desires, can't live without only one... the crazy girl from lucknow who throws tea on him, pops out of his cupboard, fights with him, dances, touches him every time... his dil speaks and his dimaag forgets what he saw on a terrace... it forgets to find harsh ugly words that will create distance between them...

c'm'ere you... what he'll say months later, his gesture says now. stay here. i need nothing else but you...

when i think of practically any memorable dialogues from the show, they all seem to be echoing here.

this was such a dense scene, yet all they did was cuddle and lose themselves in each other like an innocent boy and girl.  

her hand is against his heart right through. dil ki dhadkane... that's where they meet and nothing really matters.

when the din of the world drowns
the rhythm of your heartbeat
hold me in your heart
hold me in your heart
never ever doubt
no matter the deceit
hold my heart beat
hold my heart beat
when the clamour
takes the hour
touch your heart and there find me again and again

like a little boy, he refuses to let her go, like a woman in love she gazes into his eyes wanting to take all his feelings and keep them with her.

he is rapt, lost, just her, that is all he sees.

after that moment on the terrace, there's been not a moment of relief in the man. unable to reach the girl who makes a difference... to take her, to be hers. shiva swallowing poison to keep whom intact... to keep what alive. his heart beat is where the "chot" has come, how brave of him to let it beat still. thank g she thought of that bhang. sunshine neutralizes poison?

di calls once more.

the heady intoxication of bhang that breaks down doors shut by the brain and lets heart meet heart, alas that nasha must go.

"nimboo ka achar," says the sozzled khushi ji. how did sanaya get it so right? i hope this actor finds the right team to work with always so that her real talent can be drawn out.

he makes a face. little grouchy boy... they are interrupting his fun. bad di.

she just loves to see him being so boyish, so without responsibilities bowing him, no laad governor, just her poolside lover.

the sweetest hauling of drunk by drunk, and she clings to his arm, a clear case of united we stand, divided we fall.

of course the dupatta slips.

"wo wo jo kuch bhi hai hum usse lekar aa jayenge..." that that whatever it is, i'll pick it up and come... khushi is floating about, not finding the right words... nice writing.

"aap jaiye..." you go, she tells him.

"nai," a little slurred "no" comes from determined lover boy...  arms cross chest, "main wait karoonga..." i'm going to wait.
he ain't letting her go... alas alas, that nimboo waits too...

and that crazily lovely kkg dialogue bowls me over.

she looks at his determined look... "kisska, humari dhadkan ka?"

you'll wait for whom? my heart beat?

why do i get the feeling the writers may have been jesting over a drink and this priceless one came...

wait for her heart beat.. oh he will do that, for a very very long time.

the deadliest drunk lover smile,

and a hot sexy, grainy voice... "i'm waiting..."

okay girls, now i need to swoon for a bit. so break.

 some other thoughts.

~ shyam appears, takes her away, asks her questions. all the while he's been lurking close by, yet i never saw this stalking tie up with any part of story.

~ scene shifts to the opposite of magic poolside with its love and only that. the sitting room with its three dimensions, its politics, its nimboo ready to bring you back to your dimaag... away from dil.

~ my mano baby is still alam pana hayee and mirchi khaaing... i love chillies, can't eat without them.

~ snake actually casually holds her hand to stop her. he certainly has a death wish.

~ kkg informs snake... "ek ho gayi humari dhakan,"... i rofled looking at his face.
"pata nahin kaise?" don't know how, she carries on... so cute.

~ slither goes to cup her face in his palms. dis.gus.ting. okay mirroring and resonance and all that but gah. to her credit she chucks his hands away first before all else.

~ di asks, "chhotey, khushi ji kahan hai?" chhotey, where is khushi?

 he replies, "dupatte mein..." in the dupatta. a maze i sense... of words that carry hints.

~ when she is walking with asr, khushi asks in a troubled little girl voice, "arnav ji?"

"kya hua?" he replies.

a lover looks at his sweetheart and touches her face without any qualms... a little bit of normalcy... something that is never to be his, is it?


looks like she wants to tell him about shyam, about her feelings, her confusion. but the brain is befuddled.

"nimboo... achar" she mumbles.

slightest ever that smile, how tender and embracing that "chalo."

who can direct this? how does an actor interpret this? and why am i thinking of jeremy irons in lolita.

~ reality is returning to all. he looks at her straight after having his pickle. and she at him. neither speaks... he looks shaken. and in classic asr manouevre... looks away. no eye contact. so does she.

~ moments of beautiful and unsettling awkwardness. in front of a room full of people, their private world again, but now stricken by so called reality. di delineates how unlike himself asr was... the new improved version. mami ji says from black and white art film he's become a film with song and dance. nice dialogues fly about, but what rivets attention are the volley of embarrassed, awkward looks between the two. finally he can't take it and asks his sister to delete all the video. he really is not a cutesy sort of guy.

only with khushi. only with her a side is shown.

and sorry, mano my twin, i prefer him in his art film mode. because he is indeed that. the serial hero is just a disguise.

di refuses to delete.

"ok fine," he is clipped, oh my asr.

he is leaving.

awkwardness... he is feeling it creep up.

so is she.

"arre haan tum dono gaye kahan the?" oh yeah, where did the two of you go... di asks when mama ji refers to them going "phur".

he pauses. he needs to know. does she remember? will she say?

neither can answer that question. he leaves.

the poolside returns to all our minds and hearts. but this time a sadness touches the joy.

~ disgusting shyam baits khushi... usurping "dil ki baat". but really what does a cold blooded creature know about four valved hearts and all their baat.

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