episode
was going beautifully, all the gussa, drama action that you could ask
for, balanced with taste and understanding, written with lightness and
ease. episode 91, where he will use her words to get maafi, forgiveness
from his sis. "chhote kabhi galati karke maafi maange toh bado ka farz
banta hai ki unhe maaf kar de, kyunki... chhotey kabhi galati jaankar
nahin karte," when younger people make mistakes, elders should forgive,
because younger people don't make mistakes on purpose.
lovely words... and a clever way to connect two people who just don't get it, though they are utterly gotten.
the
saving di scene was over, children had apologised and a gruff but
mollified asr had said "theek hai, doosra ban jayga," (it's ok, another
one can be made), about the model that lay shattered in his room,
ruining hours of hard work and the man's mood. though he had been angry
with khushi for all the game playing and hurt perhaps at her telling the
kids that he's rakshas, big, tall, and human eating (strange, huh, the
day after i think of hannibal lecter and anthony hopkins's performance
watching barun's asr, he is called a monster that eats children...
telepathy? should i pass out, hyuk), after what she'd done for his
beloved di, he was touched and ready to forgive her, and everyone for
all the hidden "khufiya puja" with kids every year.
all sat
relaxing in the living room and when khushi said she had to leave, he
was strangely alert, watching her, as though something on his mind, or
maybe he just didn't want her to go. but then she said she had to rush
or her parents would worry and left. of course, just then anjali
remembered, khushi hadn't eaten anything the whole day... vrat; and she
had packed a dabba, box, of food for her, which she'd forgotten to
give. that's all that was needed. he jumped to his feet with a "you sit,
di, i'll give it." a little hesitation on the "aa...aaap," as though he
was somewhat surprised at his own reaction, finding it hard to explain
it to himself or anyone else. nani was thrilled and beamed.
and with that we came to a word and a look that refuses to leave my head.
remember
that "wo..."? he's holding a ridiculous little steel dabba. she has
just gone into a frenzy of nonsense talk at his call, thinking he's
still mad at her about the model. no the moustache... no no it wasn't
her idea, it was the kids... in fact he doesn't look good with a muccha
at all, no really... not that? then maybe the pot? pot? yes the one with
leaves... no she didn't break it... bilkul nahi, not at all... wo hamla
gamne nahi toda. in a fit of spoonerism she has just said that attack
sadness didn't break, instead of that pot i didn't break. he can't take
it, he raises his voice, but ever so gently, er is that even possible?
there's even a thin edging of right, haq, in it.
"khushi kumari
gupta... do minute... beena kuch bole, ya sune, aur hile... do
minute...meri baat suno." khushi kumari gupta... two minutes... without
talking or listening, (she starts to move her hands, startled and
shocked needing to do something, can she also sense that his voice is
firm but not mean, not angry? oh she is not used to this timbre)... or
moving... two minutes... listen to what i have to say.
khushi freezes and waits, as per laad governor's instruction.
"wo... di keh rahi thi tumne subha se kuch khaya nahin... wo...kuch kha lo."
wo...
so utterly beautiful this word suddenly, just an er or um in english i
guess. a gently curved upward wo, a little lost and wondering wo, a
frenzy creating wo.a man is feeling things he's not used to. yes, in
that wo is his gratitude for her handling of his di when she needed
help. for being there. for doing what needed to be done and bravely,
with commitment. perhaps a little guilt in it too for not listening to
her when she'd called him frantically, thinking she's upto some trick
again. but more than all of that, there's concern for her in it. not
when she was with tears in her eyes, that was an involuntary response in
him from the beginning. this was different, he felt an urge to care for
her, he didn't want her to be hungry. he wanted to see her before she
left, be the one to give her food to open that fast with... something he
didn't believe in, but she did. he wanted to be the one. at the mandir
on the day of teej, he'd opened her fast by mistake, making her drink
water, just to keep her from passing out. but today, he did want to be
the guy to give her that dabba. something terribly caring in wanting to
feed someone, isn't there. an awfully tender feeling.
in that wo,
there was care, a little embarrassment too, he wasn't used to doing
this, he wasn't used to even feeling like this, and frankly this crazy
woman just made him feel helplessly protective, he had no clue why. all
of that in that one little hesitant, wo, and a looking away, searching
for the right tone of voice and words. delightful. for i also felt a
whole surge of the feeling commonly known as love in his one syllable.
pehli baar mohabbat ki hai... akhri baar mohabbat ki hai. first time
have i fallen in love... last time have i fallen in love. gorgeous
words of gulzar from kaminey playing on my comp, fits perfectly in with
that "wo."
the man is
asr yet he flounders a bit for the right words, not wanting to give too
much yet wanting to give... asr, just a wee bit lost, but sexily, what
else. that's barun sobti doing asr... can anyone else do that.
she
of course was dying of "tez bhookh," gnawing hunger, just moments
before. and when she'd heard his "khsuhi," she was prepared for the
worst.
then he said, "wo... di keh rahi thi tumne subha se kuch
khaya nahin... wo...kuch kha lo." wo... di said you haven't eaten
anything since the morning, wo.. eat something. a gruff sort of
tenderness, i give a damn, hume faraq padta hai, all tumbling out around
the sides and edges of all those seemingly everyday words. the ocean
has anger, the ocean has love. both equally intense maybe, but there's a
sweetness in his love that his anger can't make you forget. once you've
heard him saying that to you, how can you ever hate him? no, not
possible any more. not when you've felt this tenderness. for you have
seen him without his mask, as he is. just a man looking at a woman,
telling her, he does indeed give a faraq.
sanaya's
khushi showed all of that with her strange khushi behaviour. first a
nonplussed, heart flipping baffled look, then a grab of the dabba, this
time not trying to avoid their fingers from brushing against each other.
now why did that steel container, plain and from the beginning of time
faceless, suddenly start looking like a pair of earrings, a 10 carat
marquise cut, d colour, flawless clarity diamond set in each? and then
she did what had to be done. scooted. possibly before it all overwhelmed
her and she fainted again. you see the dhakdhak attack had returned the
moment his sentence of "wo" ended.
there was nothing for him to
do but stand there, arm extended, turned to statue by this implacably
bizarre behaviour. finally, his mouth opened and out came another word
that really was a code word for "gah, i faraq you." yes, he said, "ajeeb hai yeh."
in that private moment between the two, rabba vey delicately tiptoed around, "wahtsup, you two" it seemed to be saying.
dhakdhak dhakdhak dhakdhak...
she
sits at the table thinking of him, the box open in front of her... his
sweetness everywhere. di said you haven't eaten anything since the
morning... eat something.
payal says are you going to just stare
at this the whole night or eat? so she hasn't been able to eat...
"jiji, ussne diya hai... woh woh ll...laad governor ne..." jiji, he's
given it... that l..l...laad gov. almost a caress on that "ll...laad
governor."
"tumhe kya lagta hai... issme zahar hai?" what do you
think, there's poison in it? payal pulls her leg and tells her to hurry
up.
khushi has not been able to eat? really?
she sits there thinking of him, breathing getting faster, dhakdhak coming on, music plays a note of happiness.
slams
her hand on chest, dabba (or diamond danglers, depends what ya see in
it) in foreground. she has to stop that deafening beat, has to bring it
under control.
"yeh hume kya ho gaya hai... humare saamne khana
hai, aur hum kha bhi nahin pa rahe hain." what's happened to me...
there's food in front of me but i can't eat.
asr not gussa.
khushi not being able to eat. gadbad hui hai. there's gadbad, big
trouble. la was picking on it maybe, she was looking hassled. but
neither the small city girl nor the big city boy, for all their dil and
dimaag could guess what's up. even when the dimaag boy got it, the dil
girl wasn't quite there...
"iss... iss dhadkan ko kam karna
hoga." i have to reduce the heart beat. and apparently this is
achievable. all you have to do is not think of him and stay away from
the man. you can do that, khushiji?
that will cure the acidity or "jo bhi bimari' whatever ailment this is.
decision
taken, she flies past asr in the morning when he opens the door,
ignores his call, gets called ajeeb, sets about enthusiastically to plan
a way to get la and asr together on the way to nainital. a plan that
will make sure they'll spend some time with each other. and ensure, says
la, that asr will marry me
marry la? so why did khushi's brow pucker at that and a sad air pass over her face?
wo...
there
was something fascinating in the writing of ipk. one actually felt one
had seen two strangers meet, get to know each other, feel an attraction
that was overwhelming, their relationship progress, and then they
finally got together, intimate and essential in each other's lives. you watched a
whole relationship come into being. that was just lovely. wo... brought
us another step further on the path.
......................
fanfiction
we
keep talking about barun sobti's hotness, and there is no denying his
extreme temperature. but what makes me catch my breath really is the
power of this young man's performance. two scenes from these two
episodes particularly crashed into me while i watched. here is asr as he
is, with his unconventional beliefs, his inability to really give
himself to an emotional relationship, his arrogant air, his unyielding
stance, and above all his out of control gussa, anger, and the nasty
tongue it catalyses. no softening of edge, no cutesie pie nuance. he is
scathing as he lets his rage ride untrammeled. he is refusing to marry,
saying he doesn't give a damn, not even interested in going and coaxing
his girl friend to return.
pretty hateful really. yet, i feel complete empathy with him.
sure, the writing had intended that, but the actor it was that made sure this journey was done by the viewer; no gaps, no compromise.
i was thinking of these scenes
and the character as such this morning and was reminded of jeremy irons
playing the utterly unsavoury humbert humbert in lolita, and anthony
hopkins doing hannibal lecter. okay, i don't mean to equate asr with
these two creeped out characters. but in both instances, the actor
managed to connect to us and even elicit a sort of empathy, in humbert's case a
trace of sympathy too. purely from a performance point of view, i felt
jeremy irons and anthony hopkins were flawless, in complete sync with
the character they'd taken the responsibility to bring to life.
that syncing with character.
i guess that's what took
me from asr to the two above. for i find that integral, visceral
connection between barun sobti and his asr. and this no holds barred
adhering gives us a performance that
is at the level of a classic in a daily soap on a general entertainment
channel. by an untrained actor. i
can't thank barun sobti enough for giving all he could to this khadoos
he had to take all the way to our hearts. given the kind of guy he is,
chances are that when he dated he wasn't being caressed by dupatta,
catching falling girl, hearing rabba vey back of mind, carrying the lady
in his arms and striding purposefully, or giving her long intense looks
lasting several seconds every once in awhile. to convince your cool, trendy young mind that this can be done with conviction is pretty tough.
to go ahead and completely immerse yourself in it and do it like it's what you do, is just hot damn mind boggling.then the gussa. how fabulously he owned it. no fearing anything when he entered it, allowing his voice to go where it needed to, his whole body get involved in expressing fury, his mind feel its kick, and all the while not any
generic anger, but asr anger. the sudden decibel blow outs, then the
drop to even cold iciness, the seething tension in the body, the hand
tense and index finger jabbing air
downward, the eyes going flat ice with lavanya, but dark smouldering
with khushi, and a lashing screaming black with shyam manohar jha... oh i
bet i can't really count all the things that he did to elucidate asr's
anger, but i can swoon at the magnificence of it and get really mad with
the girls for doing this to the poor boy, and that too when he has a
headache.
"what the."
gritted teeth.
flaring nostrils.
fire breathing creature. beware.
"yeh sab kya ho raha hai lavanya"
what's going on here, he exclaims in terse voice, exactly as khushi had
predicted. lavanya sits decked up as a bride on his bed. this is the
latest idea from khushi to get him to agree to marriage.
slate gray gritty voice, end of day tiredness soaked. he has a headache. again. "what the hell is this lavanya?" he drags her off the bed and when she tries to argue and make him listen, he bellows, "nahi TUM suno!"
he is angry, she is not getting it.. "kaha tha ki nahi..." did i tell you or not that i am not interested in seeing you as my wife...
his music is fanning the flames of his anger. there's no getting away from it, lavanya cringes.
"pehle bhi kai baar bol chuka hoon... BOLA HAI KI NAHIN!"
i have told you many times before, told you or not! oh the loss of
control, the rushing into forte. waves crashing in a tempest on the
ocean.
then la's constant turning in her direction brings khushi
right out, and face to face with that wildfire anger. cold sleet fury
building into fire within as he sees khushi at the bathroom door.
brilliant direction and acting of this singular asr trait. gussa. did he
just hold her hand and drag her after him? first time? just the way he
pulled her along that night of the angry temple.
as she is about to leave. "ek minute." smooth quiet, too quiet.
la
reads the signs. "asr... asr," she tries to intervene. his head turns
in a smooth swing toward her, there's something lethal in his gaze.
la shuts up.
purposeful steps toward khushi.
"main
samajh sakta hoon (cool low voice with edge) ki jis mahaul mein tum
pali badi ho wahan ki soch alag hoti hai... par tumhari iss (gritted
teeth) lower middle class mentality ki yahan koi jagah nahi hai... yahan
kissiki personal life mein interfere karne ko... badtameezi kahte
hain." i can understand that the environment in which you were
reared, the thinking there is different... but there's no place for your
lower middle class mentality here... here interfering in people's
personal life is considered uncivilised.
so he called her "badtameez" and with complete conviction.
eyes
filling with tears looked up. but just this once, it seems even that
didn't make a difference. a line in the sand has been crossed by khsuhi
and la. his decision not to marry cannot be played with. it is a
strongly held belief and any violation is abbhorent. he had even taken
nani on when she had interfered. this is unbearable to him.
"shayad
tumhe yeh baat samajh nahin aayegi... galati shayd meri hai... ke main
tum (stress) jaisi ladki se expect karta hoon ki tum mera lifestyle
samjho." perhaps you won't understand this, perhaps it is my fault... to expect a girl like you to understand my lifestyle.
"apni kamzoriyon ko... apni lifestyle ke peechhe mat chhupaiye,"
your weaknesses... don't hide them behind that excuse of lifestyle. how
does khushi decide this is his weakness? isn't that judgmental? so if
he has a misconception about her character so does she about him it
would seem. a couple of days ago, character dheela, today kamzori.
he took a step forward threatening, she stood back.
"please get the hell out of this room."
after
khsuhi leaves, his words stinging her insides, he turns on lavanya. and
a crazy fight escalates till la refuses to take any more and leaves the
house crying, leaving him. the screenplay called for intercutting
between scenes; expertly taking the fight up one notch at a time
breaking it with shots of the family reacting to the chaos reaching
there ears. brilliant management, gets you on the edge of your seat,
tense as hell.
"hum jaantey the ki hum saath rahenge par kabhi shaadi nahin karenge." we
knew we'd live together but we'll never marry. i have never made false
promises. and he hasn't. that's the point. his experiences had made him
reach a point where he just did not believe in marriage any more. he
was clear about that. and when la agreed to move in with him she was
completely comfortable with the idea.
one of the most tense
scenes of ipk. unmitigated. no let up. i feel for la. she has all too
easily relinquished her notions of living in which she was so good at
explaining, all because she suddenly realised that her hold over asr is
slippery, thanks to khushi's vivid description of old age and hinting
at the unfaithfulness of man. while we laughed and joked about it, see
the situation from asr's point of view and it is really untenable. he
has not fudged or disrespected anyone, he has a right to live the way he
wishes to as long as it doesn't mortally hurt anyone. la knew the deal.
and now to try and arm twist him into marriage, that too with this
ridiculous ploys... unbelievable.
"dar? tum sochti ho ki main darr-" fear... you think i am scared...? la is pushing to find out why he won't marry.
"toh kyun nahin..." then why not?
"kyun nahi kar sakte hum shaadi." why can't we get married?
and he avoids her gaze. looks away. he will not answer this question. this is his life. his knot of pain, his inner world.
"pyaar nahin hai mujhse asr, koi parwah hai meri?" don't have love for me, nor care? a touching moment.
"haan nahi hai tumhari parwah!!!" yes,
i don't give a damn for you... that's why against everybody's wishes i
brought you here. he is angry, upset, pained by this whole thing. and
first time ever a little glimpse into his deeper feelings for la. oh
they were there alright, otherwise as he said he wouldn't have battled
everyone to be with her. only thing, he was in no state to fall madly in
love when he met her. half alive is how he described himself to khushi
much later... in that state, the maximum emotion he could have for
anyone, he did have for la.
and however much he may yell and
deny, her leaving had hurt him too. there was something absolutely
beautiful in the way he said those words after saying, no i don't care
for you and turned the whole story. but alas that was not enough for la.
"lavanya, i can't give you more than this."
"main ja rahi hoon." i am leaving.
"tumhari marzi." your wish.
"isse kah dijiye iss ghar se aur meri zindagi se bahar nikal jaay."
tell this one to leave my home and my life... to di later, about
khushi. dark dark fury with touches of red. his life. yes, agree or not,
lower middle class or whatever, interfering and irritating most
certainly, but khushi had entered his life.
that
acting i spoke of. remember his sudden going still at the wardrobe.
he'd walked in and passed his bed without really noticing la and gone
straight to his wardrobe. but something had registered and so he
suddenly stopped and froze. then slowly he turned and looked at the bed.
at la. all that you see up there on his face. a bemused, what the look.
and then he flew into his most prized attribute. rage.
episode
87 brought khushi storming his office when she hears lavanya plans to
leave that very evening for london. forever... hamesha ke liye. a bit
precipitate wouldn't you say? you dump a man you've loved many months,
and the very same evening you leave for another country never to return?
i realise urgency needed to be created, but this time the writers were
not very clever, sorry.
no matter, this urgency led to the next
confrontation and a pressure cooker fight in the office, where he
spelled out his beliefs, said that frankly la's leaving proved his
point: that two people cannot live together for a life time. they grow,
they change and move on. nothing wrong with that. khushi got more and
more agitated... accused him of never loving la, of lying even. how
would la feel if she heard all this, he wasn't bothered she was leaving,
he was what sort of man...
as the completely upset khushi, who
knew it was her shenanigans really which had brought this whole thing
about, tried her best to make him go to la and apologise, things just
kept going from bad to worse. he didn't disappoint, getting nastier with
every line.
but in the middle of it all when she seemed to be at a loss for words he gave her her cue, "nahi hai dil asr ke seene mein,"
no there is no heart in asr's chest. so why did i almost stop breathing
when i finally caught the words on the nth viewing with volume high?
nahi hai dil?
"hamare beech jo bhi tha, ab khatam ho gaya hai. ab humare beech kuch nahin hai... it's over. and you... can get out."
whatever was between us that's ended. now there's nothing between us.
it's over... and you can get out. why did i think i heard a note of
dejection beneath the anger?
sorry doesn't change the truth. it's over doesn't end a relationship. "aur yeh kaisa pyaar hai jo ek pal mein do shabd bolne se khatam ho jaata hai? yeh toh saccha pyaar ho hi nahin sakta..." and
what sort of love is this that ends just by saying two words. this
can't be true love. khushi has her own ideas of love and especially true
love. asr has seen a terrible side of love, seen what he believed to be
true love turn out to be not that. who can be blamed for believing what
they do?
"it's over dammit... it's over." insistent, gravelly, harsh, no one can see his tears when he hurts.
"kaise insaan hain aap?" what sort of a person are you?
"jaisa
bhi hoon tumse behtar hoon. kamse kam apne aap se toh jhoot nahin
bolta... sach bolney ka, acchha banne ka natak toh nahin karta."
whatever i am i am better than you, at least i don't pretend to be good.
oh most certainly there was some untrustworthy woman whom he had met in
another life and and who had cut him deep. we never met her. but by the
sheer conviction in his voice he created this woman who always coloured
his perception of khsuhi.
"aap aap baat ko kaha se kahan le.."
where are you taking this whole thing...? she is beginning to hurt...
he is suddenly getting very insulting and personal... he just keeps
doing this with her.
"kyun? sach sunane mein takleef nahin hui toh sach sunne mein kyun takleef ho rahi hai." why? you have no problems making others hear the truth... so why the problem in hearing it yourself?
"security!" an abrupt whip lash of a call.
and he sees the tears.
he
can't bear it. as she passes him, his whole face exudes emotion, the
wooden hard lines gone in an instant, just agony. he shuts his eyes the
tears hit him so hard. she leaves, and this time it is she who turns
back to look one time. looking for what?
an open heart-melting look at her. just a man looking at a woman who makes a difference. faraq padta hai.
slow
circular pan around his face, music reaches a high tempo. what does he
think, his eyes seem to say something is gathering in him. a curiously
vulnerable asr stands alone in the middle of his office. the conference
waits.
less than 6 minutes, the entire scene. the last minute had
not a single word but so much was said. past and present merged, hints
of future, a timeless look between the two. pyaar nahin hai, asr? nahi
hai dil asr ke seene mein?
fanfiction
