Friday, 28 April 2017

took my jaan that goli






pyaar mein dil pe maar de goli le le meri jaan.
 
was this very cool writing with tongue happily in cheek or was there no connection between the song and the state of one arnav singh raizada? 

we'll never know since no one talks of ipk any more and even if they do, it's as if yeah, it was so long ago... but no harm in thinking they knew how the song works into the story and they gave a lot of thought to the design of the episode. it's 53. she is all movement and happiness and uncontrollable. i love the dance and the vibe. for the longest time, never connected it to the last, almost last, sequence.

in the middle, the very pretty, perfectly juxtaposed her sequence and his sequence over toot-ta tara, you couldn't miss the connection (and the point) even if you wished to. and all he sees is a locked door. a girl saying she is going.

was that the goli, the bullet, the heart took?

and now at night, he lies... so still, so deep, all that is uncontrollable is within. the bullet has found its mark it seems and there's a torture in its killing. tender sweet melody floats, a curtain billowing recalls a dupatta... how it touches him. memories come, softly, as if not to awaken anyone, just lie in him, stay there. a pensive, dark, elegiac scene.

nothing could be further from the loud, active, mimicry and mayhem filled scene of the one who has shot the goli.

i loved the contrast. and how happy she was, maybe because she had read isharas, which dm might not even have sent, and returned to delhi... not gone away hamesha ke liye. i liked the way, though dm was constantly referred to, we also saw that human action actually brought about things.

that silent reverie of his, the most subtle exploration of his disturbed state of mind, there was an actor who sensed beyond the brief. can an arrogant tycoon walk about in that state, thinking of a jhalli girl? of course not, the mind may say. but after this, the dil will laugh and rebut, if only you knew.

also smart was the way she kept saying something good will happen tomorrow, and nani threw a spanner in the works of mami and anjali. yes, something would happen the next day. a sweet tightness to writing. the paralleling with shyamwa continued, he too thought of that locked door and suffered. asr stopped his gf when she tried to get closer... lovely, almost a rejection... his mind is full of another ladki. and i suppose he is not into sneaking around and catching stolen kisses. instead he is struck in the heart and barely breathing.

love has shot a bullet in the heart, has taken away my life. 

frames




she leaps and jumps and is inordinately happy.



he is still, silent, lost.



she's back, she's back, and tomorrow will bring good things.



she's gone, hamesha ke liye.


 





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Saturday, 1 April 2017

you'd said you were going away









hamesha ke liye. she had said, she was going away... not just that... it would be forever. he had struggled with it. he had told himself, khushi kumari gupta meant nothing to him. she was gone. it was over. whatever "it" was. and then she sprang out of his cupboard. the game of writing, nandkissore, life, call it what you will. before me was a screen with two people locked in an endless battle of exactly what i really didn't want to name. that it gave the unsettled, shivery feeling within was enough. 












episode 57 maha ankh micholi








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fanfiction






Tuesday, 28 March 2017

the feeling of 50





how do you express a feeling that is confusing? one that almost unexpectedly comes upon you and leads you to a strange moment? a feeling that puts you in a quandary, no idea what exactly it might be or why it's there at all. yet you just feel it and don't seem to mind, even though you frown.



how do you say all that while staring at a camera... without a single word... maybe a flashback once in a way to aid the viewer, but really... even without those flashbacks, would i have not known arnav singh raizada's state of mind? i hope to see this actor soon in a role that demands everything of him that he can give... for even just watching it feels like one is in a strange and wonderful place.










episode 50 of doors and dupattas





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fanfiction







Monday, 27 March 2017

that acting





the blog is a little messed up. pictures have disappeared. so i try and to fix it almost every day. which means i see the edits closely again as i find them, upload to imgur, add them back to the posts... every day i find myself stopping and staring at the shots. often not very good edits. and i wonder, did we really see this level of acting on tv? i can actually feel my heart do funny things, just looking at stills. remember this episode? a man walking away and creating his own space, standing there, recalling things, his whole body tense, arching. his thoughts concentrating and a sense of sahi and galat swamping all... and something else... something he doesn't understand, yet it holds him in its grip. he has just brought his girlfriend home, he has offered to show her his room, he has defended her right to be treated with courtesy and have her own way of looking at life no matter how different... and every now and then a girl who shouldn't matter slips into his mind, makes him think, feel, yearn... a rewind button is spoken of. something tells you he wished he had one. no words, just a young untrained actor before a camera on a frantic set in a hindi soap. no pampering. no star treatment. just a tv lead. he yanks me to moments i didn't even know an actor could... or anyone else for that matter. these scenes were well constructed and written, but minus that acting... 

about a jodi





this was a jodi like none i've ever seen. a quality of something igniting, combusting, catching fire. and yet there was laughter and intelligence and candour and fun in it. even the thought of one thinking of the other is sensuous, almost erotic, bringing on colonies of butterflies in the stomach. 

Sunday, 26 March 2017

la and asr




i liked what and how he felt for lavanya. there was no disrespect in it, none. and you see that very thing so often, when it comes to an independent girl who takes decisions about her own life, earnings, sexuality herself. in fact, if anything, he respected lavanya. found something in her that was like him.
having seen all he had and that fractious broken relationship of his parents, having felt the ache of losing his mother which he just couldn't deal with, he had gone into a shell, backed away from romantic notions of love, even marriage. yet he was adult and intelligent enough to know, he would want a relationship, just that he wasn't looking for one that took over his life. one where there was affection and desire and yes, respect, but no expectation of a lifetime of love and commitment, such as marriage...
and that was what he felt he could have with lavanya.
he liked her, he valued her, but no, he didn't have that swamping emotion for her, one that took over your mind and inundated your heart. and got settled deep in all of you.
not being involved with her from those parts of us that spell love, he didn't pick on the fact that she had crossed the limits they had both perhaps set for their relationship, the boundaries... that she was crossing over to the side of... love.
one of the best scenes and most complex that i have ever seen must be the one where he rails at lavanya for her bride on the bed tactic, and when he says, yeah, he didn't care for her that's why he brought her to live with him, in his home.
and the other... that moment, where he realises, no matter how much he may value lavanya, how much he has done the right thing by her, how both of them had wanted the same thing, but at this moment what he is doing, how he is feeling about khushi, all that confused, extreme response to her... he is not really doing the right thing by lavanya.
the story of asr and la could have been written in a million different ways. i am so glad it was done the way it was. true to both their characters. it showed a beautiful flow of feelings in a girl who never really had planned for it and how it gradually made her understand things... grow up... find more of herself.
and it told me so many things about this dashing, handsome, clever, cool, deep, clean hearted, sahi, and vulnerable man.











episode 47 saansey ruk jaygi







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saansey ruk jaygi episodes
episode rambles
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Monday, 26 December 2016

saansey at 45






a shot that knocks the breath out of me. every time.





saw dangal last night. aamir khan said he had found sakshi tanwar thanks to his mother, who watches hindi serials and likes her a lot. i hope some day he hears of barun in some such convoluted way.











that rare unbelievable chemistry.



episode 45 i feel you

   

i can feel you in the pit of my stomach, in the graze on my heart, on the edge of my nerve, you are here.



oh the turmoil of a feeling. how it plays with hard earned equanimity. he had no place for this surge of emotions. this overwhelming need. this chasm in his being. yet here it was and try as he might he couldn't get back to business as usual.

his place of comfort, his office, his absorption in his work that could always shut everything out, failed miserably this time. thoughts of her, sindoor in her eye, he wants to wipe it off, but no, she won't let him, she walks away.


the tenderest notes of rabba vey know what ails him. but not he.

he struggles to let it go. yet again a set of memories. "uss din tumne jo..." he begins, but she never let him finish. her silence bothers him, perhaps even more than her shouting. he can't think any more. he is feeling worn, gripped by this wave of feelings, unable to let it go.
 
he leans back, rests his head, and closes his eyes. maybe he seeks respite or perhaps a little time to dream.
 
she's walking into the office.

as she walks in, she senses something.



and a breeze rises swirling in undertone wrapping around both holding them in its embrace.

... he opens his eyes...

 

she consoles herself, don't worry khushi, it's sunday, no one's here, certainly not that rakshas (through gritted teeth, of course, for she has her own struggle with her own unnamed, unfathomable feelings, why does he come to her mind all the time?)

she enters the office.
he knows.



he knows the girl in his thoughts is now near, just here somewhere. his eyes say he has felt her. he leaves his chair, alert the moment he senses her, moving toward the sensation. he comes to stand at the impressive array of sheer glass windows in his office and looks down. there she is on the lower deck. a bit perturbed, then walking slowly toward her desk, and he watches her.


he watches her standing at the place from where he'd let her fall, he'd challenged her with cool derisive eyes after setting her embarrassing and difficult tasks, he'd hollered "miss gupta!" that terrible day of the guest house.

but today, he stands stock still, silent, just gazing upon her, drinking in it seemed all of her he could, perhaps wondering did he just conjure her up with his incessant thoughts of her. not a word, no movement. just eyes darkening, a whirlpool of emotions swirling in them, a throbbing energy gathering.

   
she hadn't seen him and she walked up to her desk. then in a most melodious segue, he saw her in her filmy red chiffon, hair flying, hurt filling her gaze. and at the very same instant she was thinking of him holding her close in the rain, protective, dependable. she's looking at him and he at her.
she didn't see him walking away, being nasty. he didn't see her turning away, walking away from him.

but you don't let me be, your thoughts roaming free
no barriers no limits, reaching prohibited zones
unprotected territories, you are here.
as her thoughts ended, a visible drooping of shoulders, an exhale of surrender almost, she closed her eyes seeking help. how was she to handle this whole cascade of troubling thoughts. she'd shouted at him, she'd prayed to dm to stop these thoughts, she'd resigned.


and yet... the thoughts of a man whom she couldn't fathom, couldn't forget.

the rustle of breeze rose as if to remind, she looked up, and there he was. hay hay hay... rabba vey, her feelings flowed before she could check them.
              


an instinct about the other had come to stay. he could sense her, she could sense him. again love had taken a step. and turning away was impossible.

what came after that, had to be that and nothing else. two people thrown asunder by a stubborn inexplicable emotion, what could they do when they met? have a reasonable adult conversation? of course not. they had to fight, had to clash. had to meet and touch and feel each other. make love. and perhaps this was the only way, for now. the language of love is not always full of sweet nothings. it took them virtually nothing to turn on the other's nastiest side. in matters of war, they were utter equals, from day one. clear sign of what sort of lovers they were going to be. 

"khushi... mere cabin mein aao... mujhe tum se kuch baat karni hai."

he asked her to come upstairs, he wanted to talk to her. i keep wondering what is it that he wanted to tell her. he'd just asked his girlfriend to move in with him, yet the most urgent conversation he wished to have was with her. 

and she never missed a beat when it came to provoking him, did she? was she really not aware this would get to him? turning away and stalking off completely ignoring him? did she really believe he'd let things be and go back to work quietly? or did she not want him to? "upar mat dekh, khushi, aur arnav singh raizada ki chinta toh bilkul mat kar." but that's all she's been doing of late, thinking of asr. and before going, she did turn and look.

slipping into sanak mode to work off the tension, she talks to herself in the store room. funny line, sanaya really funny yet touching, the best of comedy.

"ab issme humari kya galti hai... hume kya pata tha ki woh laad goverrnor ravivar ko bhi logo ko tang karne ke liye ghar se nikalta hai." can't blame me, how was i to know that this lord governor stirs out sundays even to to get after people.

     
     can you hear the music?


fabulously calibrated quarrel coming up. she's dropped the gauntlet by walking off. he picks it up and comes swiftly down the stairs, charging into the storeroom after her. "tum apne aap ko samajhti kya ho?" who do you think you are... he's livid. he's had it.


she was perched on a stool getting her devi maiyya from a high shelf, she turned shocked and terrified. and she lost balance.



a beautifully shot falling together, him on top of her, but not before he's saved what is important to her and not at all of any relevance to him. her dm. how many things they told each other as they lay like that. you could almost hear it all.




then her phone rang.

but when he got off of her and stuck his hand out in a chivalrous, almost conciliatory, gesture, again she went for a thrust. ignore the hand. his fist balled in anger. tell you, these two.

   
"hum toh yahan ek minute bhi nahin rahna chahte," don't want to stay here a minute longer, her voice is getting hysterical as she talks to shyam. too many feelings.


"bhagne ke alava kuch aata hai tumhe?" what are you capable of other than running away..."waise toh tumhara mooh kabhi band nahin hota, phir ab kyon taala laga hai...  uss din bhi main tumse kuch kah raha tha aur tum bina sune chali gayi... mujhe aisi badtameezi..." usually you never shut up, so why this lock on it now, was about to tell you something the other day but you just left... this sort of lack of manners...

and she walks off ready to leave. he can't take it. he slams the door.


 

"main tum se kuch kah raha hoon, khushi kumari gupta!" 

look at them, one curving almost into the other, so close, and that heightening tension.

"jab main tum se baat kar raha hoon toh chup chap khadi raho aur suno..." when i'm talking to you, stay put...

phone.

she takes the call, but with a violence hitherto unseen he just snatches the phone and throws it with force.

"maine kaha tha na main tumse baat kar raha hoon... let me finish!" (lemme finish has just caused a major heart problem off screen) her eyes well up. and as though a magician had waved a wand, the vicious anger on his face is chased away, instead a concerned, practically contrite look. a need almost to wipe away her tears. yes, har baar her tears had affected him. no matter what the state of his mind or emotion.



when she gathers herself a bit, she is desperate to leave the room. but the door's locked. she runs to the window and opens it. her hands and mouth say one thing, her dupatta says another. perhaps girls in our land have had their mouths sewn up for so long, they need a proxy voice, so devi maiyya and writer conspired to give khushi her dupatta to this end. the happy go lucky dupatta could be as forward, as wanton, as loving, gentle sweet as khushi longed to be perhaps. how it blew out and caressed him yet again.

   
then it wrapped all around his face. he slowly pulled it off of his face, his hair, his shoulders, a darkness in his eyes around a flickering light, felt like lovers making love without knowing that's what they were doing. 

      
he noticed her discomfort. familiar. he handed her fly away friend. arrested looks and emotions in these moments.

    
from a quiet beginning, deep in feelings, the episode climbed the notes steadily to a rousing crescendo of anger out in the open, riddled with desire. yes, that. the soul of the episode. 

desire.

         


i feel you i sense you i want you i know you are near
you are here.




Saturday, 17 September 2016

episode 58/59 two girls and an attitude


lemon.

what if life served up a lemon, as in a real bad deal, what would you do? that is in essence what i enjoyed in the two episodes following the fascinating coming out of the closet of miss sanka. at a time when that phrase has come to mean something completely different, madam gives an all new spin to it. still laughing madly at the mere thought of the scene,

that's what always got me about her, complete unpredictability. don't give up. don't fall back, keep thinking on your feet, and keep moving, then go ahead... act. something or the other will work out, hey dm. and if not, just scoot.


so, after meeting her favourite rakshas whom she can't leave alone and go away from "hamesha ke liye," and all the upheaval of him catching her, metaphorically as well as literally, the tension of confrontation, the irritation of being interrupted by a possessive la, plus the thick swarming of emotions within as a result of not knowing what's getting to her really but something certainly is, khushi decides the way out of this situation is to concentrate on the work at hand and get into the party mood.

of course, as she rolls out the cake and lights candles, a slither is heard off screen and on the pretext of unwell nonexistent friend in need, shyam disappears. so it is, that despite brother's best efforts anjali is left feeling sad and forlorn on her big day. he notices the situation immediately of course, tries his best to make her feel better. no one matters to me more than you, are you ok? anjali tries to handle the difficult situation, but her heart is down. poor girl is close to tears despite all the love showered on her by her fam.

this is not lost on khushi. she'd been eagerly waiting to see anjaliji's husband, then he just vanished. but the state anjali is in touches khushi. mind you, she's just been through troubles of her own, yet, she can't bear to see that crestfallen air. to think of others when your own home is not so sunny and warm, nice thing, isn't it? and not to barge in and start giving advice... even nicer.

she walks up to anjali a bit hesitant, apologises for intruding. anjali warms to the tone and words. khushi is offering something her bro possibly can't, a certain empathy... a girl's pov. a girl, moreover, who believes in love, in marriage, unlike her brother. and then khushi says her little thought on the issue.

quite a philosophy on relationships, really. 

"zaroor unhe koi zaroori kaam hoga... hai na?" he must have had some important work, she starts off, suggesting if it hadn't been so why would he even dream of leaving his lovely wife.

"ye cake katna, uphaar dena, party, ye sab toh upari cheezen hoti hai. asli cheez toh rishton ka atoot bandhan hai... ek pati patni ka rishta... jisse koi riti riwaaz, koi rasam, ya chahe kitni bhi paise kharch kyun na kare... iss sab ki koi zaroorat nahin padti... usski shakti toh pati patni ki aankhon mein hoti hai... unki chupi main hoti hai... aur mushkil waqt mein chehre pe muskurahat laane mein hoti hai."

all this cake cutting, gift giving, party, these are superficial things really. the real this is the unbreakable tie of a relationship... the relationship of a husband and wife... which doesn't need any customs and rituals, or spending of big money, its strength lies in the eyes of the partners, in their silences, and in bringing a smile in times of difficulty...

as khushi said these words, i started melting, so how would poor anjali have a choice. daljeet was lovely changing from the despondent girl to one gaining strength, beginning to feel like herself.

khushi at her most resolved, beautiful, convinced, convincing, sanaya spectacular in portraying this innocence and ingenuity. her beautiful lilting voice spectacularly well modulated in this scene. and how lovely her wide, fearless smile, eyes clear... untouched by the material world, spirit shining through.

having got her point across, khushi wants to make sure that nothing spoiled it, she goes in for the icing on the cake, reminding me of the flambe of red flying dupatta at the end of the closet sequence. ah these ipk finishing touches.

a little teasing but inordinately tender and light, she said, "kyunki humne toh suna hai, aapke pati aapse bahut pyaar karte hain..." because i have heard your husband really loves you a lot...

and out comes the loving trusting wife's smile, her husband's life means the world to her, and this young girl puts her back gently in touch with that feeling of being loved. in that instant, the beginning of another unbreakable tie, between khushi and anjali. they take their first steps together on the way to becoming the two most important people in asr's life. 

i loved khushi's deep understanding of relationship. it is indeed a bit above and beyond the sanction of rituals and customs. which is why the later khushi, who loved her arnavji possibly more than she loved herself, yet couldn't accept her relationship without rituals, seemed odd. especially since asr said they were legally wedded. i bet in the original plot, the story was somewhat difference. the girl who had a valid point against crackers one diwali was saying just the opposite the next year. same with riti riwaaz and marriage. khushi loved the idea of marriage and its customs, if asr devised it on his own to make her happy, one thing, but what was shown was strange, if we are to believe in these beautiful characters that make us think and feel so happy.

khushi is managing to make anjali happy, a job asr depends on himself for. he sees her doing this, she's taken aback, immediately worried. doesn't take a second for him to unsettle her completely, get under her skin. same with him, looks as though he wants to say something but, ah, the words just don't come. "
usski shakti toh pati patni ki aankhon mein hoti hai... unki chupi main hoti hai... aur mushkil waqt mein chehre pe muskurahat laane mein hoti hai." the smile has been brought back, though the relationship is still sitting quietly in a closet behind lots of brown black grey navy blue and refusing to come out.  

of course, where there's smile, there's bound to be some tears too. and so it is that mami decides to go for the lemon tactic. akash's dreamy eyed looks at poor (literally) payal must be stopped. for this gupta sisters must be removed from the equation. kareka padi. so here's a little nasty twist, turn, and squeeze, and then before all, especially the manager, cry "lemon!!! the sweets have failed quality control, they are sour." mami, what an inspired trick, did you get it from the volkswagen ad?


just as the one word headline of this ad went on to reveal in the copy, this car is, if anything, of the highest quality, so did mami ji's juicy ploy prove beyond doubt the sheer quality of khushi. of course, nani ji had watched her with anjali and had a fair idea of this premiumness of khushi by now. in the following episode more of that. poor mami, i do understand her panic, but the trick, hai re nand kissore.

episode 59 here onward.


two girls were in a bit of a mess.

first, khushi. whose sweets had just been called no good by mami, and the manager seemed clueless and cowered enough to accept this without even bothering to check the full order. strangely, nor did khushi and payal. guess the accusation came as such a shock, delivered as it was with crass abrasiveness, and also the order was so precious, that both girls lost their ability to think straight. into a state of panic they flew. what was to be done now? buaji's bangles sold, all the money spent, babuji's shop mortgaged, and now this.

second, lavanya. she'd come to stay at shantivan just a couple of days ago. nani had been giving her a hard time. she sort of knew this might happen and had promised herself she'd try and adjust. because she wanted asr badly. but today, her character dheela number completely threw nani and she let her have it in her own regal, disdainful manner, indicating that if anyone's character was loose it was lavanya's. lavanya was terribly hurt, there had even been talk of her upbringing and manners the morning before. so yes, she was in a mess. plus she had seen khushi in the house, that too with asr... in a bit of a clinch. maybe her sixth sense picked on the attraction that no one was ready to face. so she was even disturbed about that.

both girls were not expecting any of this and it hit them hard. the difference was in the way they dealt with the situation. attitude. makes all the difference, doesn't it.



the small town girl, with her crazy, clearly not trendy clothes, pretty helpless at this moment, was in tears. and then from inside her, an essential khushi asserted itself. the way it had the night her sister's wedding was ruined, and the day after the guest house incident, slowly her anger came in. oh yes, just like the man she hated, there was a clear and necessary place for anger in her life. it helped her fight off feelings of defeat and get back into life. post which, came the "only khushi," (to borrow from another ad campaign: "only vimal" Embarrassed) moment, a reach out for all things necessary to make jalebi. and the battle began. payal tried her best to stop her, "nahin khushi yeh hamara ghar nahin hai, khushi..." not our house, khushi... don't even think about it. uh huh, madam was focused, fast and furious. and of course many of us connected ha ah not her house and kitchen? well, we'll see.


note the change of expression on her face. i was very very impressed. this is the kind of girl i'd like my daughter to be. yes, their are troubles in life, but what the, go out there and fight them. key thing though, don't lose yourself.

nani and anjali found mami's allegations impossible to believe. "arre toh ka hum jhoot bole rahen hain?" of course, mami lied but when nani and mami saw khushi refusing to give in and go for it, jalebi mountain ready in minutes, they couldn't help but laud her attitude. the quality of khushi came out looking really top notch. mami sulked.

this time, anjali helped khushi. go serve the jalebis, she advised her, forget what's happened. as khushi offered jalebis, he came up to her, you could see him approaching slowly, but when she saw him, again, he kept quiet, didn't or couldn't say what was on his mind. he had heard nani say earlier, "anjali bitiya, khoosi se batiyake aapke chehre ka rang thoda theek hui gawa hai, hai na?" and she had seen that he'd noticed. but neither said anything, nor made major gestures. again that "chupi" between people who are tied with forever strings. delicate, finely detailed "knowing" of each other. lovely.

confident, smart, fashionable big city girl lavanya on the other hand, decided to run away from her troubles into champagne. no harm, i'm a great one for this path. but really, was it the right thing to do given that her boyfriend has specifically told her alcohol is not allowed in the home, that tonight is super important to him, nothing should spoil it? and yes nani is being nasty but di and mami are firmly on her side, asr is defending her right to be herself. then? attitude again. one will go right up to trouble and try and quash it with her anger and hard work. the other will try to face things but soon enough give in and try the escape from it all route.



i asked myself what if khushi learnt to drink alcohol as she went along, and one day at a time of awful stress she downed some booze, got sloshed. how would she behave? whatever she may or may not do, i thought, she'd never ever speak to an elder the way lavanya spoke to nani. what was that? she walked in as nani praised khushi, and started off about herself. how about me, am i good? not receiving the answer she sought, the ridiculously insulting, "ye nani har waqt miss kassya miss kassya... you know what it's kashyap... kashyap..." this nani all the time goes miss kassya miss kassya... you know it's kashyap... and some pretty vulgar hand gestures too along with it. nani was shocked but held her own. asr was angry. i thought this one needed a serious conversation with la, regarding how he views his grandma, and her place in the house. but no, asr was mad at her for ruining di's party. and she even tried to justify her drunken collapse, blaming nani... so essentially, she thinks she was justified. drink, yes, get drunk, by all means, but address a grandma thus?

i understand, di's happiness and the party are a big issue. but, no asr, the way nani was spoken to was a bigger one here. somewhere i couldn't agree with the stern reprimand to apologise to everyone. there should have been more. i had said in an earlier comment, before seeing the episode that i could sympathise with la. but now i wonder. yes she reaches nani's room with a contrite expression, but who could blame nani if she refused to be mollified. and really la, is that how you address elders?

i understand, things had to be brought to a head for the entry of khushi into shantivan, but somehow this left a bad taste. anjali, mami, are trying to make nani somehow forget and forgive, speaking of la being younger. etc. ridiculous. nani has a good answer, don't teach me about chhota bada... that girl khoosie, she's younger than lavanya even... unme akkal kahan se aai, woh bhi toh aaj ki hai... where did she get her wisdom from? she's also a modern girl...

"baat umar ki nahin hai, parvaris aur sanskaar ki hai." not a question of it's about upbringing and respect of tradition are.

with due respect, naniji, i'd like to suggest, it's really about attitude.



sanaya was superb through 58 and 59.

anjali was mad at shyam and when he returned, couldn't help but express it. shyam did major drama, finally uthak baithak holding his ears, ugh... she of course forgave him and asked after his friend. the more things change the more they remain the same.

mami ji redeemed herself in my eyes by delivering a killer dialogwa, "humka kya black daag kaata hai, ki joo mein rehkar hum loin ke saath eyes spice khele?" have i been bitten by a black dog that i will live in the zoo and play "ice spice" with the lion?









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fanfiction



 

episode 57 maha ankh micholi




 
ankh micholi, anyone?              

episode 57 indeed a maha episode

but first, i would like to start with an invocation to the god of handsomeness and thank her for bestowing upon us this incredible creation of hers which now looks at our heroine with incredulous eyes. sorry, have to gush. really, how good looking must a man be, and that too while he's acting so terribly well in of all things, a daily soap. spiky hair, lean hassled visage, everything motionless, just an eruption of feelings rushing to get to the climax. i could watch this scene for hours, like that other one of him walking into the mazar, long loping stride, inert eyes, black clothes, white bandana. "what the" has never sounded so divine.



it's a good thing that she didn't open her eyes. if she had, the story would have ended right here, no question of not falling in love and crashing into his arms. but today a celestial game was at play, that was devised to keep the story interesting, dynamic, and without end.

as i watched, it was quite obvious that the whole 45 odd minutes were laid out around hide and seek. people missed each other, feelings stole into corners and never got caught, secrets were almost out, phew! but not quite. but why? why this devise suddenly? and that too right across an extended episode? perhaps it was just to raise the tension, keep us glued and use a familiar film technique. or it was ankh micholi, the game of krishna come to visit this drama that has references to him in so many ways right through.

"hai re nand kissore!" the first words of ipk. and if i look back, so many many krishna moments all through. he was in the name of the friend, the sakha, nk; and he was in the name of the villain; his story was told with such charm by the lovely ingenuous khushi; and he and his consort were there when she felt like his patni, and when she didn't; of course, he was always in buaji's words and thoughts, and allusions and traits of him were to be found in many a character during the telling of the tale: as charioteer, as wise counsel, as giver of judgment... maybe, in this ankh micholi too? and if so, it was a fascinating creative leap to keep krishna in the proceedings. interestingly, the child actor who played bubli, used to act as little krishna in her previous role.

krishna played blindman's bluff, with the boys and the girls, his gopis too. minor modification for the ladies: he had to kiss the girls to identify them. rule made by him, of course. there was always a sweet naughtiness, a lightness to the tales of this avatar; a certain empathy, beauty, fun, and delight. you didn't have to worship him to find him engaging. if indeed the hide and seek trick was borrowed from nand kissore, i'd find it really clever.

if not, no matter, still reminded me of him and his lover. especially, loaded as the game was with matters of love. and light and sprightly it went, traipsing and trilling through the bhoolbhulaiya (maze) of shantivan, with concentrated bursts of earth shaking emotion in in between. fantastic balance of light and deep, dhoop chhaaon... hai dhoop sa agar woh, woh chandni raat si hai.

and joining the sport to make it delicately deliciously interesting: curtains. diaphanous, floating, now revealing, now concealing, cousins of the dupatta. that opening sequence was the first sign, i guess. the breeze is telling them both, she's here, he's here, but since both are hesitating before truth, it hides itself, behind the decorator's curtains.


 
i can't see you, you're not here. but i can hear you... khushi is the first to know, and she's determined not to get caught. what she doesn't know though is there's another thief in the premises. a sick man with ugly intentions and desires.

"mujhe galatiyan aur unhe karne wale pasand nahin," i don't like mistakes and those who make them, says the man in charge, arnav singh raizada, making sure all arrangements for the party are impeccable. a certain terseness in him, so much to do, all sorts of unsettled feelings at home since la's entry, and the constant "ahsaas" of a person, something he swears he has no place for in his life. maybe that's the "galati" you make, and nand kissore is playing a game with you to see if you can find the truth and be "sahi"?


she's constantly worried about being discovered by him, and so misses the the truth right under her nose, or at least next to it. she passes by shyam and anjali's room as they chat standing before the door, but doesn't see him. nor he her. again and again this almost reveal. sometimes in the most interesting layered visuals.


di and shyam have a little tiff over his many admirers. creatives give the pretender krishna little touches of the real and eternal lover. but here is one who has no notion of love, at best what he feels is lust. a pity, his consort isn't radha, a bit of a gandhari our anjali. reminds me of the magnificent queen from mahabharat who wore a blindfold forever because her husband couldn't see and so she decided to suffer with him. just like her, anjali  couldn't see a thing, and shyam again won the ankh micholi round, his prize, a gentle, loving, credulous, "aap bhi na."

in playful vein, creatives bring in stairs from ar office to shantivan, to test us no doubt. was i wrong or was there a curved staircase just behind khushi which i've never seen here? spotting the rakshas, she hides in shyam anjali's room, he passes her and senses... hey hey...

he bumps into someone, "dekhkar nahin chal sakte? tumhari galati ki saza tumhari naukri bhi ho sakti hai." can't you see where you're going, the cost of your mistake may be your job. but sir, was the mistake his or were you distracted... by that sense of a woman?

shyam almost sees her but doesn't. khushi runs helter skelter through the unfamiliar corridors and leaps into a room. one she doesn't know at all, but had at one time thought belonged to the bakri. unfortunately, it belongs to the lion and he is on his way here, his attendant music following him resplendent. our man is thoroughly displeased, is rushing to change.




sanaya was simply brilliant as she ran around frantic looking for a space to hide, then jumped into the wardrobe. only khushi could have done that. something so very specific in that move. the visual space is super crowded these days, so many images, it's rare to come across something original. yet, ipk found new ways of showing things so often. can't remember ever seeing a girl in a cupboard, one eye open, comic air getting giggles going, and then wham... thick, pulse rate quickening passion, can't breathe, a crazy note of romance... and off she goes again, dupatta flying, something really funny and really desperate at once, his khushi... khushi... khushiii making you wonder, making you sad, making you happy. thrilling, wasn't it? yet delightfully light like a perfect souffle, with a little red dupatta flambe. oh that flying streak of vermillion, and him leaping to catch it, just took it all to another plane.

 
wasn't he supposed to be mad at her? decided to not think of her just a while back. no place for such feelings. she is a part of my past that is over. and yet you just know it when she's around. what's in her that calls out to you? and now she sits inside your cupboard, inside you essentially.

"tum yahan kya kar rahi ho?"
what are you doing here? oh the pain of knowing she isn't here. the grappling with it. all the upheaval. and suddenly, she's before his eyes. of course, he's startled at first, then perhaps a bit angry, but deep down maybe a feeling more forceful is taking root, a feeling of finding his breath again. of sheer relief. the kind that makes you let go inside, leaves you dumbfounded.

when she jumps out, you reach out instinctively, wanting to keep her near, for all your roughness, and anger, the moment she's close you're nonplussed... rabba vey, and she flies off taking advantage of your state of mind. playing ankh micholi with your feelings... now you catch it, now you don't...



and what about her, she'd just said she hadn't returned to delhi for him, but in that long moment that he held her and they looked into each others eyes, why that change of note?

behind the veil of comedy, serious, seething, heated emotion telling its own parallel story.

i needed to pause here for breath and let my eyes rest. and before we resume, a question, was akash wearing the shirt that asr wore the night of faraq nahin padta? nooo.



 
nani ji notices "mithai ki khushboo kuch aur hi hai." the sweets have a delightful aroma... talk of sweets from lucknow; and dreams of sweet nothings in akash upon seeing payal. of course, mami the sharp eyed notes this dose of sudden sweetness in her son's life and decides it's bad for him, "jo bhi hao e laknow sisters ko out kareka padi." whatever it is, got to get these lucknow sisters out.

asr is tortured, pacing, remembers, "hum aapke nazron se hamesha ke liye door ja rahein hain..." i am going far from your sight forever. khushi yahan kya kar rahi hai? what's khushi doing here, he is immersed in this conundrum. his girlfriend floats in, all dressed up and sexy, how am i looking, she asks getting close. he almost doesn't see her. the eyes are on the one who's flown, that's whom they seek. when his sister walks in, he asks, irritated and hassled, forgetting his resolve to not let anything disturb the cadence of his sister's big day, "di, khushi yahan kya kar rahi hai?" what's khushi doing here? if i knew she'd bagged the order, i'd have cancelled it. really, so that's why you ask the same question again and again. shatir asr totally stumped.

in another hide and seek ploy, shyam is told by anji about khushi. when she turns around, he's not there. he hasn't heard a thing. months later, the same would happen the night of the betrayal, asr would tell di all only to find she's passed out. hasn't heard a thing. it will lead to chaos, but tonight, all it leads to is a "yeh bhi na."

another echo from the future in his announcement to the guests, "meri zindagi ke do sabse important log... di aur jeeja ji." the two most important people in my life, di and jeeja ji. there will remain two most important people in his life, just not in this combination.

a cascade of neatly edited scenes peek into hidden thoughts and faces. will khushi see shyam? will shyam see khushi? will anjali find out? creatives are having much fun obviously. and in the middle of all that a strange surprise from la. she obviously is completely blindfolded, no idea who her target audience is. a neatly packed episode with all the bits in place for the next climax.



in the middle of all this mami is being really rude to khushi and payal, treating them like waiters. mami ji... aap bhi na. anyway, payal drops juice and khushi leaves the room to find tissues at the poolside, relieved at the thought of escaping his nearness.


but looks like that isn't going to happen. he has seen her and he follows her out. "tumne toh kaha tha ki lucknow chali jaogi..." you'd said you'd go away to lucknow, he barks at her.


she's shocked, but opts to remain mute... not a word since he found her in the cupboard. she is just too disturbed to say anything i guess. she tries to walk past him without a word. he catches hold of her arm in a tight grip. yet again. she stands there still, taut, tense, eyes confused, unsure. finally, in measured undertone, "aap badtameezi kar rahen hain." you're being discourteous.


"kyunki badtameezi ke elawa aur koi bhasha tumhe samajh mein nahin aati hai." because you don't understand anything but this sort of language, he is in a nasty nasty mood now.


and he goes for it.

"main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon..." i'm asking you something... so intimate the voice, like it's touching her. "tumne toh kaha tha ki lucknow chali jaogi... waapas laut kar nahin aogi," you'd said you'd go to lucknow, not come back. my heart shivers/leaps at his voice, that wapas nahin aaogi is killing him somewhere... "phir yahan kya kar rahi..." 



you'd said you'd go away... so why are you here... you'd said you'd never come back... what are you doing here... if you go away on a summers's day... again the sadness of the song hidden behind the anger of the voice. 

but if you stay... my wayward mind adds in...

"majboori thi... tab bhi... aur ab bhi." had no choice, then too... now as well. khushi is no longer running, skipping, jumping, acting cute, nothing, some part of her that no one else touches but this man, is touched again. only for him her voice grows deep like this, mature, poised, a woman vis a vis a man.

"aap hamara haath chhodiye warna..." leave my hand...

"warna?" or else?

"warna kya kar logi tum?" what will you do?

"aap asr honge aapke ghar mein." you may be asr in your own home...


a khushi like flip into a rash statement looking for a solid repartee to shut this terrible man up.(a little break for respite by the creatives for us panting viewers?)


  
"mera hi ghar hai." it is my home.

if i hadn't spent all the money, i'd have died before coming here to the home of people such as yourself. khushi returns to the seriousness of the moment.

"pehle bhi tum hum jaise logon ke yahan hi kam karti thi."
you used to work for people like us before too. "aur waise bhi, tum jaise log toh paison ke liye..." and anyway, for money, people like you...  he stops as she looks up.

tonight he doesn't complete that sentence. something in her gaze, angry, gaining a power of its own, stops him. the intensity in both was of another order. out in the open. ankh micholi ceased.

la walked in. no one practically noticed her.



khushi walked out without a word. but what's this?


her payal slipped off as though it had a mind of its own. he saw it.


one day, a key had slipped off from his hand, so they could meet again. now this payal. what will this bring? and why is it that everything around and on them wants them to find each other, yet these two... and he turned and looked back.








this is the first time we see khushi in red with asr by the pool. there will be many times more when the colour of passion will attend their love story unfolding here. today's red was definitely chilli padi red. those who've lived in south east asia will know the power and bite of this deadly chilli, small, red, sharp, and has it got oomph. you don't need a little or long black dress to be an absolute bomb. i can't live without my chilli padi, looks like asr is beginning to catch the ailment.










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