a sweetness and a crunch

laad governor and chhotey, are they the same guy? chhutki, who makes jalebi when she's upset. nice to see the first ones of the show. was watching a veer zaara song just now, he took a refulgent orange jalebi and offered her, she took a bite, i could only think of khushi, asr, episode 3. yesterday amma had said "tum theek ho"... today babu ji said, "kauno faraq nahi padta." uff looks like that asr stole their lines. laad governor kahin ke.

a caringly crafted episode. so much in it. the lilting, peace filled, yearning strains of maula mere maula juxtaposed with excitement and anticipation building as they cross each other's path again and again, without knowing that they do.

their first touch, a long, lingering caress of white virginal dupatta across his face, moulding against its unyeilding ridges and grooves, feeling every pore, he turns toward its call, inert eyes looking to see, is there someone out there? someone he seeks? something in the eyes.

khushi's breaks into light khushi quirkiness. asr in his own world, here to get a job done, just take 10/15 minutes, stunning in knowing black.

of course they had to meet, when she called out, he stopped, again something in his eyes, was her voice familiar? he seemed to know its cadence, and when he turned no surprise in his gaze. just the stillness.

hoi hoi hoi hoihoi, the calm entry down a path strewn with colourful signs of a revered mazar, now a mad dash through it throwing all into disarray, miss khushi kumari gupta is not going to let that laad governor get away with it this time.

a girl determined, a man not in a mood to be messed with, a mannat ki chabi.

and so it all starts.

 

episode 3 a touch calls

n i s h a n a   e p i s o d e s
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episode rambles

fan fiction

the boss and the nutcase

gahahhah, khushi and her food love. sanaya never let her get cheesy, i dislike cutesie girls, but i couldn't get mad at khushi. there was an innocence and a fire in her; and that appetite. even for swearing and cursing: the man got called many names today: teen naam wala rakshas (the monster with three names), laad governor, kadva karela (bitter bitter gourd), she was too cute when she referred to her nasty boss, that "sir".




episode 25 atishoo

teen naam wala rakshas in the meanwhile, seemed absolutely desperate for her "bakwaas"... said with a nasty snarl, of course. and if you're watching 25, do not under any circumstances miss the glissading, glancing, truly mean look on kadva karela's face when he glowers her into a state of confusion, and she tells nani ji, she'd better leave, she won't have breakfast. oh, the joy of victory, esp while looking lethal in brown.

 

rain and rabba vey episodes

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episode rambles

fan fiction

a ditty for fifth

get an suv get angry fry jalebi
wear mojri say hey dm play with op
shout get out swear what the
let a dori snap let a goat chat
make a mami face make your kismet
does a nani dance does a di pray
can an akash make a payal ji stay
take a poolside on a holi trip
via nainital and a dhaba
let laad governor of kahin ke
hate the true devi of sanka
make an nk all hai re
and a bua say humahoon do
may hp's avatars grow
and happy ji's happy smile floor
and la do many round round
shhh!
shut up don't make a sound
does a moustache look good on a
jeeja ji hone wale does a snake need
a slap or two from his own very saab saaley
hug babu ji hold amma
golgappe balushahi
sheeshmahal is in lucknow
lakshminagar is in dilli
but no one will ever know
where exactly is mama ji
how dare you aap shut up
tum theek ho she's beaaautiful
shadi karni hogi ramanchi
yup that's it tum kitni intelligent ho
let the rain fall go atchhoo
go on girl fall he'll catch you
say kya kar rahi ho tum hoarsely
and pass out in a guest house
stay mere paas and mere saath
it's five years get the cake out
make an almost kiss diwali date
ha ha happy fifth i wish ya
hum bhi aapse i love you dammit
rabba vey did you say hamesha?

wrote this last year for the fifth anniversary of this crazy making show. :) sixth anni in two days. lots of rumours floating about the new show called ipkknd 3. keeping nimbu mirchi handy.

n i s h a n a   e p i s o d e s
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episode rambles

fan fiction

oh to bother the laad gov

that was episode 212, khushi in mausam hai suhana mode, laad governor falling apart at the attack on his tycoonness, then there's that thing he feels for jhalli. poor fellow. not that she had to devise ways to "satao" as in bother him, she bothered him anyway, all the time, no matter what.

episode 212 let's go halves.

satane ke sau tarike episodes

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episode rambles
fan fiction

episode 132 it's a deal

i agree with asr, this thing is a deal. love between two people. what is it, if not a deal that the heart makes with eyes closed and without heeding caution...? putting all its assets on the line, targeting unlimited, endless gains. if you crack this one right, makes this life... a life. not mere existence. so yes, asr, i understand absolutely what you mean when you say, i think this deal will be good. and much later when he calls her his life's biggest deal, i want to swoon at his tone of voice and the connotation. the ultimate deal maker thinks she is the one, the biggest hottest deal for him. me not complaining.

it was interesting to watch the two, asr and khushi, act protective toward their siblings, turning downright aggressive and obnoxious with each other. and of course, pushing payal and akash to one side, completely out of the date that poor akash had so desperately set up.

he said he didn't want his bro to be halwai. she said, huh, not keeping my sister under the control of laad governor.

so he discovered she called him laad governor. a spectacular expression was bestowed upon this effrontery by one so irritating and halwai-ish. did he imply being a confectioner is a bad thing? oh, the class conscious raizada, maybe he's just mad at all halwais because he can't gobble sweets. okay, i will not be easy on him about this... he is ughly uppity and unnecessarily derogatory about someone's parent and people of a whole profession.

and how rude was that, "tum dono behene din mein sapne dekhna band karo," stop having absurd dreams, you two sisters. really, brusque, nasty, arrogant... even your good looks right now are not cutting no ice, sir.

payal was fabulous... and gave akash a much needed reality check. yes, you are in love with me and imagine you can't live without me. but what do you know about me? do you know that my baraat went back and i was left at the mandap?

was it on purpose the writers made asr say such hateful things? so that when he realised the truth of the night in sheesh mahal, his reaction is even more of a contrast, making the viewer empathise more keenly? fact is, i know wonderful strong super exciting people who say terrible things at times. it hints at some not too nice notions in their heads, but more often it speaks of how rattled they are about something. and really, asr was completely taken aback to see his bro-like coz with payal... the sis of the girl he is struggling desperately not to let matter. he sort of lost it and his worst side came to the fore.

khushi was no less aggressive and rude. again, because her sis being in a relationship with anyone related to this man, the man she can't hate however mean he may be, bothered her no end.

"aap nahin jaante... lekin yeh... yeh toh sab jaante hain na..." payal was distraught, the pressure of wanting someone but knowing it can't be. she tells him, you didn't know about that night, but he... he knows everything, meaning asr, of course. i am talking about that day when you...

"jiji!" with one quiet but insistent call, khushi stopped her sister from going there. too painful.. for everyone. a beautifully intense and timeless moment set in a scene marked by lightness, youth, the here and now.

as the girls leave, she turns back for an instant, he looks at her... just a little contact where a whole memory sits, pearls scattering. he looks nonplussed, so unlike him. a minute ago he was yelling and calling her names. ah, so human, these two.

then in a drenched voice, "chalo, jiji..." and the girls leave.

it isn't easy being a girl in this world. the thought came over me as i watched the two young women. when you are naturally the second gender, the one at the receiving end, whose aims, ambitions all become secondary to the men in your lives, it's a tough world. a man can walk out on a woman at the mandap, that too for dowry... it doesn't taint him, it taints her. where's the justice in this. yet that is what happens.

he offers to manage the meeting... a feeling for his brother. sweet.

and as he gets out of the car, a look on his face heralding a difficult memory (the look is so perfect, i didn't edit it, just let the cap be). she's falling, running, "please hume ghar jaane dijiye..." i need to go home, otherwise my sister's marriage will break. "toh toot jane do shadi..." then let it break, his cruel answer, not believing a word she said. suspicious of her, certain she'd come there with an ulterior motive. his long held wariness about women surfacing in the worst possible way.. what a night. and what he did to a girl, her family...

pearls scattered.

"maine usski baat kyun nahin suni, woh sach kah rahi thi, meri wajah se unki behen ki shadi..." why didn't i listen to her, she was speaking the truth, because of me her sister's wedding... he slams the car.

a beautifully frenetic payal.. we're not talking about what happened... leave me alone for a while. khushi is perplexed. even talking to dm isn't helping. then the dupatta takes over. akash's gift falls on jiji, and she can't help but hold it and weep, speaking of her helplessness... "humare haan kahne se kya hoga akashji humare naseeb mein aapka pyaar nahin... hume maaf kijiye... hum baar baar aapka dil todne ke liye majboor hain,"

what's the good of my saying, yes. your love is not in my fate... forgive me... i have to deny you time and time again.

khushi watches this whole thing and at last she understands. i guess when she first saw payal and akash, the zing of laad governor was on her, and she didn't make the obvious connection. but now she knows she has to set things right... and the way to do it is to talk to that arrogant...

in a touching scene, asr realises how smitten his coz is. he doesn't like to watch his family suffer... bit of a don, our asr... he must solve the problems his fam faces. and don't mess with his family, if you know what's good for you..

"akash?" just one word... a world of love and concern, the slightest grain and hoarseness in the voice.

  
"payal ji ne dobara mana kar diya..." payal ji said "no" again, akash is sad, forlorn, lifeless. he says a key thing about love... there is no "wajah"  no reason for loving... you just love.

then a difficult question, "jiss din usski shadi tooti... kya hua tha uss din..." the day her marriage broke, what happened. asr won't answe that question but he did ask...

"i'll ask you just once... are you sure of your feelings... dekho yeh pyaar wyaar mujhe samajh nahi ata.." see all this love and things, i don't understand. no he doesn't, because he has decided there's no place for it in his life. if anything, it's an impediment... a thing that leads to terrible things. but again, in his typical liberal way, he's not stopping anyone else from feeling it or wanting it.

in fact, once he's convinced that it is what akash is very sure of and after marrying payal will not regret it, he says with alacrity, "ok then it's done, agar yeh tumhare liye itna important hai... toh main yeh deal final karwake rahoonga," if this is so important to you then i'll make sure the deal is closed.

"lekin, bhai... wo..." but, bhai... akash is floundering. really, akash, there's a limit to being clueless i feel like yelling.

"bas, bol diya na!" now i've said it, that's it.

"bol toh diya lekin... kaunsi deal?" you said it, but what deal, wonders the lost lover.
chalo bhai ke bhavan bhavan bhavan...

i need to give an award to the creative who chose khushi's ring tone. it is maddening, irritating, dancey, feels gota covered, unforgettable. what a perfect answer to the brief the director must have given.

his call to her leads nowhere, as she is still unaware of jiji's true feelings. but then they both try to call each other at the same time. 

he's completely frazzled at not getting through...

"zaroor apne fiance se baat kar rahi hogi," she must be talking to her fiance, he sounds practically jealous. and so what if she is, mister.

"kisse baat kar rahi thi tum..." who were you talking to... the moment she picks up the phone. so cute.

these interactions, the irritated, aware of each other repartee and conversations and fights between the two, these are classic ipk. and their unwittingly overstepping boundaries, always a little further in than their relationship allows them to be, such a fantastic way to portray attraction... a powerful attraction really that doesn't allow you to remain cool in the other's presence... you are always slightly aflame when the other one is there. and you say things you wouldn't to others.

and so it is that they go out on their first hot date. they must meet to bring their siblings together. and for the sake of that love, their own private nafrat must be suspended for a while. whatever the excuse, asr and khushi are in a restaurant, just the two of them together.

and in all the fun and games that followed again i saw asr fall madly for khushi kumari gupta one more time. bitten badly by the love bug.

of course, the cue to craziness came from the chair chase... "aree hum yahan baithne wale hain..." arre, i am about to sit here, yelled she when he again pulled out the chair she went to. "i know tabhi chair pull kar raha hoon..." i know, that's why i am pulling the chair out, replied the suave one as small town girl showed her ignorance, but ever so cutely.

when she cut in "don't put sugar!" in his coffee, she was told that it would be served separately... but he couldn't stop himself from being touched by her concern, nor she hide her awkwardness at blurting it out... always an overstepping of boundaries... that attraction. such tenderness in these moments.

and when she sort of admitted, "aap sahi the..." you were right...

he couldn't let the moment pass. all of asr in his self satisfied know all air, "main kabhi galat nahi hota..." i am never wrong.

how can a man look so smug and so hot at once. brilliant acting... just plain brilliant. so many ways to deliver that line... how did he choose the right one and the perfect expression to match. urbane, polished, intelligent, just the right amount of arrogance, and a bit of humour... a little bit of a flirt there? just a wee bit, maybe?

  
"chalo kum se kum ek biskut phree toh mil gaya." oh good, at least got a free biscuit, she said, after fretting over having to fix one's own tea and paying so much.
and somewhere between her biting the pack to tear it open and his eyes moving, his lips turning up at this jhalliness, i believe he fell again in love with her... these were the things that made keema of all his koshish. no amount of trying to get over such a girl was gonna work.

i had felt his heart go thud when he found her in his wardrobe, one eye shut, then when she admitted she couldn't find orange juice and so poured mango juice into his shoe, at odd bizarre utterly and only khushi sanka moments i think he really fell in love. of course, her kindness, her innocence, her love of fam, her courage, her beauty, all of what was khushi he loved, but it was at these moments that i think his heart did crazy things.

when asr really met khushi. no baggage, no misconceptions, no barriers. just him and her. two people... meant to meet. a man and a woman. a boy and a girl...

perhaps he felt his heart flip, and wanted to move away quickly, so with an amused, adult air, taking back control, he said, "khushi, agar tumhari chai aur biskutt ki important conversation khatam ho gayi ho toh akash aur payal ke baare mein baat kar sakte hain?"

khushi, if your important conversation about tea and biscuit is over shall we talk of akash and payal? 

and they spoke of the deal they would help clinch... while the biggest deal of his life got going.








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feeling arnav ji feeling episodes
episode rambles
fanfiction





 

episode 90 his way (vm)

so why did i feel so bad for arnav singh raizada today? he was curt, he was angry, he shouted, he was crusty and unfriendly in the extreme. yet, i felt something was not fair. maybe just the look on his face a couple of times. or the timbre of his voice here and there, but i got the sense that the hard hearted one was softer and gentler than many, and something in him felt pretty rotten today.

consider the scenario. the young man is all of only 26. yet in just a few years, by the dint of hard work and his sharp mind, he's built a strong business house, clearly in the black. his character, it is said, was based on the mills and boon hero that gul khan possibly grew up reading. at 14, i could have done a phd in that kind of romance novel, reading practically one a day. and believe me while the m&b man was tall, dark, and handsome, and definitely always a tycoon, he was never less than 35 years of age. usually 15 years older than the girl he'll collide into and their lives change.

here, asr is way younger, and he is the man who runs this show, takes all sorts of decisions without any support from an older wise counsel of any sort; of course, his uncle and cousin support him, but the ultimate responsibility falls entirely on his albeit most sexy yet still very young shoulders. if we are to believe in this character we have to understand, this wealth was not created by chance or fluke, a whole lot of effort and keen thinking had to go into it. that was mainly his.

and he takes on the challenge most readily. in fact, derives much pleasure from his work as well. the entire raizada establishment runs on his earnings. from whatever one can see, he is not overbearing at all, demanding things be done his way. he considers taking care of his family to be his duty, is utterly respectful of his elders, dotes on his sister. the only man he seems to lean on a bit for advice is his jeejaji.

an instance of his respectful ways. toward the end of this episode, he is seething about the eight young girls who have been brought into the house without his knowledge and who have wrecked his work things, yet when he sees naniji, he changes his tone instantly... gentler, courteous, with maybe just a trace of complaint in his voice.

that was just one example of the sort of things that are done with impunity by his family which seem not too fair to him. most of the members are fairly conventional in the way they view life and live. they are traditional, highly theistic, constantly engaged with worship and ritual. in matters other than religion too they do not challenge norms. they believe in marriage, they deem women should do "womanly" things like cooking and taking care of the family, they eat vegetarian food and don't bring alcohol into the house.

asr on the other hand is, as we all know, asr. he is certainly not into religious rituals, he believes he makes his own destiny which doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't believe in something out there, but whether it is there or not, he takes the responsibility of his own life, not willing to lateet some unknown fate take over. he does not believe in marriage for himself. he likes to eat non-veg food, and even drink alcohol on occasion, and his views on women are progressive, liberal. no question of tying them to their traditional duties, if you want to do something, go out there and do it, i am with you, seems to be his attitude toward the women in his life.

he is certainly different in his views from his family members. yet at a fundamental level his idea of duty is perhaps the exact mirror image of his naniji's.

everyone loves him, they live off his income, but they never seem to realise, he has a right to live his life his way. what's more, they are often a tad judgmental. even naniji, whose character has lovely qualities. anjali doesn't judge him but wishes he would change. people may not say it overtly, but they would do huge sighs of relief if he one fine day relinquished his ways and became like them.

is this fair? or is it fair to get hordes of kids into the house, without his knowledge just because he is not fond of noise and children? the least one can do is tell him. he might yell and shout, but he always doesn't finally come in the way of di's desires, does he?

the shot of him when khushi grabs hold of his hand while playing ankh micholi just stayed in my head. blind man's bluff, the day she returned to rm with her order of mithai and the gust of wind told him something was different, and he found her in his wardrobe, that day it had felt like the same game was on. today, indeed it was, and she was playing with the girls. anjali had requested she keep them entertained and out of chhotey's sight come what may.

so when she caught hold of him, she started with a "pakad liya na firse," caught you again, then as she felt his arms, blindfold still on, "arre phirse zaroorat se zyada lambe?" again you're taller than necessary. she had just had a most interesting play time with om prakash, the cutest of the prakash clan.

but this time it wasn't op.

a gust of breeze on a low angle pan around the two, as she held his arm and felt her way up. palm on face. a streak of current almost seems to run through her frame, haah! three cheers for stubble. even with eyes covered she can feel his asrness, no wonder his music plays.

er notice, he doesn't stop her from touching his face...

trembling hands reach up for blindfold, pull... and the signature one eye. but this time followed instantly by dhakdhak. he can't look away, she can't stop her heart racing. neither knows this thing has a name. she blinks, bemused. he's still, watching her, what's with the girl.

then with controlled rage, "kya kar rahi thi tum?" what are you doing?

lunacy in the living room.

"kya?" what? she prevaricated.

"kya kya? kya kar rahi thi tum?" what what? what were you doing?

the man who abhors noise and kids is back home.

khushi goes into high panic and supreme cookiness in her bid to protect the kids from his wrath. and we get to see some really funny scenes with the very expressive op as part of deal. but during this, khushi casually refers to him as laad governor, well almost, to op. considering the man is his employer, is this even slightly polite or right?

later, she describes him as rakshas, not human, laad governor, etc., to the children also. don't go near his room. he eats kids.

while on one side of the episode we see shyam up to his terrible tricks, trying to fix his horoscope, fudge raanisahiba, and shake off shashi ji, here we see asr discover destruction and disrespect in his room. a broken model that had taken days to put together, and a loud moustache sketched on his photograph. finally, despite khushi's best and most bizarre efforts when the truth come out, it's "aaa" shrieking girls rushing down the stairs time.

"enough!" no one could blame the man for shouting this time.

"toh yeh hain wo... jinhone model toda that," so these are they that broke the model.

the kids peer from behind khushi's back and ask,

"yeh hai wo..." this is he...

"wo kaun, beta?" khushi, sensing danger, fakes excessive sweetness: who he, child?

"aap hi ne toh kaha tha wo gussewala... jo baccho ko kha jaata hai. woh rakshas... laad governor," but kids will say it as it is... you'd only said that angry man... the one who eats kids. that monster... laad gov."

khushi is aghast. but it's asr i look at.

"kya kaha issne? rakshas laad governor jo baccho ko kha jaata hai... yeh tumne sikhaya baccho ko." what did she say? monster laad governor who eats kids... this is what you taught the kids?

"main jo keh raha hoon isska jawab do..." answer me!!! when he hurts he shouts the loudest. why did it seem as though khushi speaking like that about him really bothered him, and the tender one inside him was upset that such a nasty image of him had been conveyed to innocent children by the girl he had started calling ajeeb, maybe because she made him feel ajeeb things, things he had no idea how to describe. but certainly he didn't want her to say such things about him. i am wondering now, did khushi understand this?

just because he is brusque and confident, arrogant at times, and always master of the house, doesn't mean he doesn't need tenderness, care, someone to love him as he is. he shouldn't have to eat what he likes to outside or apologise for his way of thinking, because no matter who does or doesn't do what ritual, this man always does the best by everyone around him. and when he makes a mistake, his seeking forgiveness is genuine and deep. the only man on who he depends is playing a sick game and will betray him most terribly soon. no one will ever make space for his way of life unless he yells and screams. nah! asr you're a wonderful man, laad governor is just your ajeeb girl's way of saying you are.

if she is only 18, he is just 26 too. because he grew up quickly thanks to a nasty fate and a determined character, himmat dikhai... doesn't mean we can't give this young man his due.

vm: a man and his crazy girl

 

that ankh micholi is one of the funniest and dhakdhakest scenes i've ever seen. had fun using it in this vm a man and his crazy girl. click to watch the vm.

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dhakdhak acidity episodes
episode rambles

fanfiction

a girl and a gadbad

that arnav singh raizada. she absolutely doesn't want to think of him. she didn't even talk to him... but she can't stop thinking about him. how terribly cute and innocent and nutty this jhalli gorgeous girl... khushi kumari gupta, is it a wonder that man is in such a state.

 

episode 38 girl time
episode 38 uthay diyo, nand kissore

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those teej episodes

episode rambles

fanfiction

episode 345 a spoonful of sanak

right at the end, he said, "sanki ho tum, you're really mad!"

there was a note of love and indulgence and joy in it.  

"lekin ek baat boloon? main bhi bahut khush hoon..."
but shall i tell you something, he continued, i am also very happy.

she shot back with a loopy look, "issliye toh hum itna dar rahe hain... laad governor ke muskoorahat dekhkar."

that's why i am so scared... looking at laad governor's smile.



laad governor's smile.

in that simple single interaction after an entire episode of unnecessary drama and inelegant storytelling, there was the essential story of iss pyaar ko... of one arnav singh raizada who met a strange ladki called khushi kumari gupta one unmarked evening of their lives. and how she made those opaque, blank eyes catch fire... smile. 

and then how that smile made her want to go a little more sanki.

the design thrills me. because it's simple smart and powerful.. and by touching on it every now and then, even amid all sorts of silliness, it keeps us anchored and makes us smile. not just that khadoos laad governor.

i love the fact that khushi's sanak is an essential ingredient of this story, not just something added on to make a tv lead more cutesy, more sweet innocent girl like. if khushi didn't have sanak... how would she cut through the dark despair that hardens asr's heart.

a heart in fact more loving than most, and aching and hiding behind gussa and paisa and power talk.

there's an elemental note here. ice and fire, rock and water, earth and wind. of things inherent in a structure, a person... that naturally interacts with the other... it cuts through... it cleaves and joins.

her reply also reflected that integral and specific connection, their framework of pyaar. what she says she is scared of, actually thrills her... khushi was always a girl who thought differently, felt not only the prescribed things... she couldn't get this laad governor out of her mind from day one... and the more he raged and insulted, the more she was drawn to him... she dreamt of him. she obsessed about him... she couldn't leave him. for perhaps the sanak needed to find its true meaning, its destiny... after all, she did believe in that and so it led her here. here to that impregnable wall of gussa, one that her fluid sanki mind just wanted to break through... even if she didn't know why.

and when her ways and who she was released a heart from this hard rigid place and felt its beauty, she perhaps knew a sense of homecoming she never had known...

i am rambling.

what i mean is simply, the two characters have traits that seem aligned perfectly. they fit into each other and create something beautiful.

every love story is different. the two people who are in it make it what it is. the powerful stories have this sense of one igniting the other's very being in them... 

i feel the writers really got their key to the story right... whether by design or chance i don't know... but without sanka and gussa this story would not have been half what it is no matter how gorgeous the protagonists.

i was pretty irritated with all that went on on before this. shyam lurked. dadi said, "yeh shadi nahin hogi!" this wedding shall not happen... a la seventies' hindi movies. garima quaked. the oblivious family played dumb charade. dadi paced. shyam lurked and gave slanted smiles (please, only one man knows how to slant them lips, so stop doing that). dadi paced. there was bekhabar besabar talk as all gathered in the hall, sabar being patience, i guess more hints that asr will have to patient as in perhaps the wedding won't take place... dadi did ekta serial style entry and slo-moed to  khushi. she caught hold of her hand and wrenched it off asr's. all looked shocked/surprised/scared (has ekta ever considered trademarking this face by face reaction shots format? it's really bad and needs to be annotated).

laad gov looked dishy (okay this i did like).



then dadi did one more ekta twist. she gave the ancestral kangans to khushi and welcomed her to the family. i wanted to scream, who stole the creative spirit of ipk writers... i want to set dadi after them.

but really. no need to think of all that. not when asr's eyes get so lit up and whizzy and sanka devi whirls around and runs off after delivering her punch line. yay, it's her and no double. asr, you be in trouble.

(petty rhyme needed at this moment, milord, samjhe aap.)

 

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that i love you dammit episodes

episode rambles 

fanfiction

episode 71 long drive

"khushi!" "khushi!!" his voice sounds worried, is that a trace of remorse in it? his eyes rend the darkness... where is she? he hits the steering wheel frustrated. "kahan gayi yeh ladki?" where has this girl gone! always comes back for her, like that time when it rained. tonight it wasn't the rain. it was the torrent of gussa. she walks alone in the dark, scared.


"mere hi ghar mein aakar, yeh shart rakhti ho ki main tumhare saamne na aaooon?!!" the last bit teeth grinding. come to my house on the condition that i shouldn't appear before you! hah, the cheek.

and so starts a fight he's been itching to have ever since he overheard the conversation between la and khushi. how khushi tricked him into attending the aarti. oh, hopping mad is he. in fact, that thing about her stipulating the condition, ever since la deliberately let him know of it, he's been seething.

and now that thanks to nani he has her alone in the car with him, he is all set for a super dooper asr gussawala fight. looks like she is in no mood to cower and back down either. great lovers are possibly great fighters too. i have heard from someone much into the ramayan, that valmiki's original had a really feisty sita, who fought with ram when needed. in fact, she roundly taunted him when he refused to take her along for the 14 year banishment in the forests. sita managed to have her way. ha.

the long drive has begun. in the cab, temperature pressure far from normal. plenty internal combustion going on. an about to erupt silence. he reaches to untie dm's chunari or so it seems. she prevents him with alacrity and without any thought rushes headlong into confrontation.

"yeh kya kar rahen aap?" what are you doing?

you can't open the chunari just like that.

and mr angry lets it rip. "kyun? karoonga toh kya karogi? di aur nani ko bataogi? shikayat karogi meri? tum apne aap koi samajhti kya ho... mere hi ghar mein aakar yeh shart rakhti ho ki main tumhare saamne na aaooon? tum ho kaun? how dare you... tumhari himmat kaise hui?... mujhe dhoke se aarti mein bulane ki..."

why? what will you do about it? tell di and nani? complain about me? who do you think you are? his temper is rising fast. come to my house and lay down a condition that i can't come before you?!!! who are you (the hell, is suggested by his tone)? how dare you? trick me into attending the aarti...!!

a right royal battle ensues. reminded me of the ocean raging against the shore again. lashing out, receding, lashing out again.

she's surprised. but is quick to recover. she's angry. and in her case too, the real anger was triggered by something else. he stops the car suddenly, till she's heard all he has to say, she must sit there and listen. the heat of a sunday afternoon storeroom suddenly in the car this late evening.

she tries to get out. he locks the doors.

okay, she lets him have it too. i did it because you were rude to bal gopal.

"toh?" so?

how could i just let you go?

"tumne theka liya hai kya? tum hoti kaun ho?" have you taken the contract (to resolve such matters)? who are you?

"aap kaun hote ho?" who are you?

i almost felt like stepping in and saying, "sh... don't fight like that... don't you know only married couples or at least couples in long relationships are allowed to yell and shout and make such a scene in the middle of the road?"

i respect god, can't bear to see anyone talk like this before him.

"mooh pher liya karo..." silver smooth rejoinder, turn your face away then.

"aap kabhi apni sar jhuka liya karo" cracking return, you should sometimes lower your head.

(if this were a  game of tennis, umpire would be having a mean time. love 15, love thirty, love forty, deuce, 30 love, 40 love... uff love all.)

"laad governor toh aap ho hi..." you are of course, laad governor...

he looks at her...

thought you'd get some wisdom after doing arti, she completes. but... and this is when she really begins to go where no one should ever dare to venture in, his inner rage...

"bina shadi kiye kissi ladki ke saath aise rehna," living with a girl without marrying her, she mutters.

"jo bolna hai mere samne bolo," whatever you have to say, say it to my face, he rasps (at last i get to write an m&b verb)... "jab main tum se baat kar raha hoon toh meri taraf dekhkar baat kiya karo...main tumse kuch kah raha hoon!!!" when i talk to you, look at me!!! i'm telling you something!

"humne kaha ki aap rakhas hain rakshas!" i said you are a rakshas, a demon.you don't respect god, you don't give importance to people either. which is why you're showing such disrespect to lavanya ji.

ah, finally it's out. her extreme discomfort with the whole living in thing. completely at odds with her view of life. repulsive, abhorrent, wrong.

he's confused. what's she talking about.

and khushi clarifies that living with la without marriage is what she considers "beizzati."

he stops the car again.

"kya bakwas kar rahi ho..." what nonsense.

note how neatly the quarrel escalates this point on..

how can you do this, counters khushi.

i can... it's my life... and i don't believe in marriage. asr is clear.

"aur lavanya ji?" what about la?

"tum hoti kaun ho uski taraf se..." who are you to take up the cudgels for her? he is incensed. voice rough, hard.

"ek ladki," a girl, says she. making la's cause her own. khushi as "jagruk nagrik" flits through the mind, but here the situation will take a really nasty turn, even before you know it's coming.

"darte hain aap... apne rishte ko naam dene ke liye... kyunki aap kamzore hain," you are scared to give you relationship a name, because you are weak. khushi is getting very rude and moralistic, crossing a line... but she is now too far gone to stop and so, "par apne kabhi yeh socha hai.. aapke ma baap ne bhi sha-" but have you ever thought, you mother and father also mar-

"get out."

swift, almost sotto voce, doused with cold anger. who would have believed his voice was rising and heated just a moment ago. that reference to his parents seems to have hit a nerve. he isn't thinking. some place inside is in turmoil, waves rising, crashing, frothing. on the surface a deathly calm. a decision is done. "tumne suna nahin... maine kaha get out..." didn't you hear, i said, get out. again, no shouting, just a command.

she's worried, frightened, it's late. what's she to do alone here in the middle of nowhere.

and he steps out of the car, walks out, over to her side, opens the door, grabs her and pulls her out of the car. then walks back to his seat and drives off. that cold, that nasty.

his rough, angry wheels leave a last lashing on her. mud.

"keechar uchhalna." the hindi words for spattering mud on someone, speak of loss of face, of respect. of course, this will happen to khushi, in fact, just like this evening, his actions will mire her further in the muck.

but perhaps here as in later, the important thing really is he will not be able to go away despite all the anger, the hate, the gussa. how hard i tried to hate you, khushi, but my own heart wouldn't listen to me. yeh tumne mujhe kya kar diya, khushi. and me, how hard i tried that i may hate you, but i couldn't, arnavji. can you hear me, khushi... hamesha.

tonight, despite everything, all his red hot rage... he could still hear her. so he had to return. not just once, twice. there is a tie between them building, whether they know it or not, whether they acknowledge it  or not. the sort of tie that lasts forever, in sickness, in health, in gussa, in joy, marriage or no marriage.


extra extra extra
every shot in the car today and the sequences later, wanted to be captured and included in the post. i've chosen some i just had to share, hope you enjoy.

again a hot sunday afternoon storeroom crashes into the evening.

she won't take that hand. balled fist, again.

"gadi mein baitho," sit in the car. "pahle aap apni badtameezi ke liye maafi maangiye," first apologise for your rudeness she'll demand. of course, no chance of that happening, but a much more gorgeous outcome will her demand get, a classic sobti "palat," the turn back.

and finally, a question, if you had a chance to replace the girl in one of these cars (girls, not bua ji), which car would you choose. and why?

 

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episode 123 ring a bell?

a girl engaged had no idea that her ring had fallen off. it was nowhere on her or near her for a whole night. even the morning didn't bring a "oh i seem to be missing something." nothing. till her aunt noticed the absence of it and raised a hue and cry. an adroit piece of story telling without much fuss, on a simple insight. this engagement means nothing to khushi, so nothing about it really registers. certainly not the eagerly slipped on ring from clammy, grabbing hands. the whole thing is an imposition she is willing to endure for her father's sake. also because because someone said he's getting married and she means nothing to him.

lovely how she never missed the weight of it on her fingers.

telling how she looked at a scar on her finger with no diamond sparkling bright. and seemed to remember things beautiful, moments she cherished, something in them she wanted so much, that her eyes almost watered with the yearning, her smile turned tender with a little tremble in it.

was she happy that there was no question of this scar slipping off her finger and getting lost? he had given it... hers to keep. why must sometimes the patently corny feel so beautiful. you could feel tat smile and the owning of her scar, her laad governor tyrant mean bandage man inside her.

if the poolside was his sanctuary, where his plants grew and his memory of his mother kept him feeling somewhat safe, it stands to reason and is true to emotion that he should find his way out of his prison and darkness standing right here. thoughts of mother in the air and he steps on a ring. a ring that was given by another man to the woman who told him of hope... and when he tried to examine it with his mind, she advised him to  look with the his heart... for then he would find that thing... the one that matters. belief.

but to reach that heart, the veil of the mind had to be lifted. or else how would he see in whom his heart had put its yakin... its belief. all he could feel/hear/think/touch/see was what his mind said he ought to. but what did he really want. what made a difference.? did anything make a difference?

never. he'd sworn.

and so the ring had to step into his path much like the owner had just the day before, and make him see the truth. allow his innermost thought to come tumbling, rushing, gushing out... almost.

does anything make a difference?

of course it does... because.

you never know when love will come calling and leave whom in what state. payal perhaps never knew she had this feisty thing in her. that barb by akash's mother had cut deep. you couldn't see the scar but you could feel it in the grain of her voice. her abrupt turning away from akash, cutting off his flow of romantic outpouring. yet, when he was gone, she felt the loss, the sadness of it all, because somewhere in the middle of all the veggies, diyas, janmashtami rituals, and dupattas, payal had started to feel things she never had before. things that made her want to stay transfixed while akash spoke silly sweet things. but she had to walk away. suddenly forlorn and lost the girl who tried to stay happy and upbeat for all, and who just a while back had restored her sis's smile. where had this girl left her own smile now? didn't it reach delhi with her, did it get left behind in that train from lucknow? her sister wondered as she tried to bring payal to a better mood. why did it seem as though khsuhi was lighter, happier, brighter, now that the ring wasn't on her.

a wife found the ring, and knew it was the sort of thing her husband would have bought, she knew her yeh bhi na well in many ways. but a crucial one. and he knew exactly how to play with her love, her need, her inner uncertainties. he convinced her he knew nothing about the ring, and she let it be. no it wasn't a surprise for her.

but actually la was right... jeeja ji had planned a surprise for her. a cruel and shocking one.

about the one who found a ring, and the one who lost it... i looked carefully to see whose fault it was. that banging into each other in the hallway. honestly, neither was to blame. it was the timing. of course, instantly all caution was thrown to the winds by the one looking for her ring, hassled only because buaji was hassled. mr raizada of course never was too far from his temper and in minutes we had a flare up."dekhkar nahin chal sakte kya?" can't you watch where you're going, said she.

"yeh ghar mera hai, mera jahan dil chahega, jaise dil chahega main waise chaloonga, agar tumhe koi pareshani hai toh mere raste mein aana band karo..." this is my house, i'll walk where i please, how i please, if you have a problem with that, then stop coming in my way..., replied he.

"aapka ghar hai toh kya hua... ap din bhar intezaar karte hain kya, ki kab kaun darwaze se aaye aur aap jakar unse takraaye?" your house, so? so do you wait the whole day to see who's coming through the door so you can go and bang into them. khushi comeback is delivered. so very typically her, on janmashtami she'd wondered... who knows how many people he's shouted at and how many more he's going off to shout at. a picture of a very laad governor man in her words. she even thinks nastily of him with a sense of ownership. 

he wants an apology. she is not giving it. never.

but that ring has a job to do... and a sorry must be said.

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