out of my mind... a new vm

out of my mind

watch

sometimes i just get this mad desire to stare at asr kkg endlessly and without a single thought in my head, hyuk... that's when i find i need to make a vm. pity i don't have some high res episodes, but even pixelating and imperfect, ipk gives heartache of a serious kind.

out of my mind

watch

the song by john legend felt just right. the dialogues are in hindi and some of you may not understand, i will post the link to the subtitled version soon.






n i s h a n a   e p i s o d e s
.........

episode rambles

fan fiction

 
many thanks to all original owners of material. no copyright infringement is intended.  

 
 

not cut out for love: chapter 5

created by supriya.arshi

why was the pillow so big, khushi wondered as she snuggled right into it, fighting the need to open her eyes. she knew it was morning. but must she get up? five more minutes, she thought and sighed as she buried her head deeper into the down of the pillow... too big really.

she turned on her side, eyes resolutely shut. but a couple of seconds later she turned again and called out in a sleepy voice,

"jiji, chai ban gaya kya?..."

(is the tea ready?)

then most reluctantly she opened her eyes.

instead of stars hanging above her bed, there was a goat looking down at her inquisitively.

a goat?!!

"jiji, tumhe yeh kya ho gaya?!" she sat up in bed with a shriek. she lowered her gaze slowly and looked at the creature again. it was still a goat.

(jiji, what has happened to you?)

"hey devi maiyya, yeh kaisa jodoo hai?" she yelped and at that precise moment the goings on of the day before hit her.

(hey dm, what sort of magic is this?)


***

he lifted his chin and looped the wider end of his tie through the gap in the knot he was tying. it slipped and twisted. again.

"damn!" exploded through gritted teeth, under an irate breath.

what was the matter with him, three times he'd made the same mistake. for god's sake it was a tie, he could get this done with his hands tied behind his back.

his hands immediately felt her weight, he'd just slipped them around her and lifted her off the seat. she was sleeping soundly. he'd tried to wake her up when they reached home last evening. but she wouldn't budge. when he tried to shake her by the shoulder, she held his hand in both hers, pushed her cheek against it and rested even more comfortably.

he heard a soft sigh escape her lips and the tiniest of moans... "mmm."

he felt something bizarre around his chest and promptly jerked his hand away. without further ado, he got out of the car, went to her side, opened the door and reached under her to pick her up. what the... he'd just take her and dump her in her room. this girl was really troublesome, but he had to get that bali project right. and this was the best solution.

really.

he started striding briskly toward the large two storey bungalow sitting comfortably in the midst of landscaped gardens and well tended lawns. hopefully di had had the guest room readied.

what was that tug near his neck? he looked down and saw delicate fingers had caught hold of his lapel and were holding on tight. smooth, silken skin against the fine wool of his jacket. he swallowed and involuntarily looked down at her face. had he ever seen such a gentle profile before.

he'd seen many women sleeping, but that cheek was so childlike, so innocent and that trusting pushing in of her face against the crook of his elbow, right by his heart. he wanted to trace the line of her cheek with his fingers. gently. tenderly. 

non. sense.

he muttered inaudibly and walked faster. the sooner he got rid of her the better. but his eyes were somehow stuck on the pink little bobbing pompom on her tiny puff sleeve. ghastly, he thought. just not the right profile for a reputed fashion house.

***

khushi looked frantically around the room. it was huge, and she was sitting on a bed which would take amma, babu ji, buaji, and her and still have space for jiji to crawl in. the room looked lovely and it belonged to someone with lots of money for sure. silk curtains, long and elegant, hung from the row of windows along one wall, a comfortable sofa and an arm chair around a low table sat at one end, a beautiful carpet lay between the sitting area and the bed, there were flowers on the table, a burst of pink and red roses in a tall glass vase...

khushi's eyes roamed all over this unfamiliar yet beautiful place.

what an arresting painting of a krishnachura tree on the wall. she loved those rich orangey red flowers, with their plume which reminded her of kanha ji and his peacock feather decorated headband... in fact, just next to gomti sadan...

but, hey devi maiyya, how did she get here? to this room? the last thing she remembered was talking to jiji and babu ji from that rakshas's car. they were finally convinced she was alright, and understood why she couldn't stay in bua ji's wet, flooded home that night. all things considered they'd agreed arnav singh raizada's home, where his sister also lived, was the safest place for her.

she could hear amma muttering worriedly in the background, and bua ji yelling, "hai re nand kissore!" she also heard babu ji say, "bitiya badi ho rahi hai... woh sambhal legi, khussie bitiya samajhdar hai, galat kaam nahin karegi..."

(daughter is growing up, she'll manage... khushi is an intelligent girl, she won't do anything wrong.)

and somehow all of it had made her feel better, the tension had seeped out, replaced by swamping tiredness.

she'd felt so relaxed and she'd...

oh no, she'd slept off.

now she was here.

but how did she get here???

and the goat?

when her eyes swiveled to her early morning visitor again, she noticed the white benign looking animal was dressed in a mirror work wrap and had a copper bell hanging around its neck. somehow, she remembered buaji's "om" locket.

uff, she closed her eyes, shook her head as though to clear it and opened her eyes again.

now before her stood a beautiful woman in a diaphanous pale blue saree, matching bangles gleamed on her arms, a streak of sindoor lay above the tiny alluring bindi she wore on her forehead, she had a pure and gentle loveliness and she was looking at her with a wide welcoming smile. huh!

"khushi ji," said the unknown lady. what was happening, thought khushi, her eyes becoming round and saucer like, and her lips going into its habitual "o" formation. how did this woman know her name?

and where was rakshas?

"sorry, khushi ji, laksmi ji woke you up..." the lady said, then looked at the goat and admonished, "lakshmi ji, you are being very naughty today, does anyone treat a guest like that?"

to khushi's amazement, the goat said, "mehhh..." and walked right up to khushi and nuzzled her hand with its head.

khushi started laughing. this was really strange but somehow that goat, sorry lakshmi ji's touch comforted her.

she petted the goat and said, "no no, it's ok lakshmi ji, you just wanted to make sure i don't get late... didn't you? namaste lakshmi ji, i am khushi kumari gupta, from lucknow."

"thank you, khushi ji, for understanding, par aap theek hain? kal raat aap jab aayin... sorry sorry, aap soch rahi hongi main kaun hoon... main arnav ki behen hoon, anjali... anjali jha..." she held up her hand in a namaste, her eyes looking keenly at khushi.

(thank you, khushi ji, for understanding... but are you ok? when you came last night... sorry sorry, you must be thinking who i am... i am arnav's sister, anjali... anjali jha...)

khushi returned her namaste and then wondered aloud, "but how did i get here?"

anjali, looked at her with a curious smile and said, "you don't remember?"

***

he stood before the pool outside his room, wondering why he was so bothered. she was just a girl. what's more, she was very badly dressed and totally accident prone. she'd covered him with jalebi that first time.

his hand reached up and touched the place where he'd felt the first impact, and had looked down to see a startled face with large dark frightened eyes, a pair of perfectly arched eyebrows, and the jalebi crushed against his black silk shirt; orange, dripping with syrup.

he looked down and saw his hand hovering around his heart and frowned... that's just where her face was resting last night...

again he remembered her weight against his body as he carried her. her face looked a little wan and tired, her lips were slightly apart, shimmery in the dark. he'd wanted to kiss them. he had wanted to feel them against his lips, his teeth.

he turned swiftly around and walked quickly through his room, making his way to the dining room.

breakfast. he needed some black coffee and hot food.

and hopefully di wouldn't have that smirk on her face she had when he'd walked in carrying that girl, "chhotey, tum ek ladki, ek ladki ko gode mein leke ghar ke andar aaye," she's said eyes glinting with mischief, "awww, so sweet, pata hai na iss ghar ke uss riwaz ke baare mein?..." she paused and prolonged the "iss" and the "uss" really irritatingly.

(chhotey, you walked into the house with a girl, a girl, in your arms! aww, so sweet, you know about that ritual of this house, don't you?...)

all he said was, "di, this is khushi kumari gupta, she's joining ar tomorrow. please wake her up in the morning... she'll come to the office with me..." and stalked off toward the guest room.

when he lowered her down on the bed, she'd been unwilling to let go of his lapel, he'd almost forced her to open her fingers and let go, and left the room feeling most disturbed. he really needed to talk to aman about jean pierre and take a look at the proposals again.

at last he felt like going right back to work.

***

when anjali told khushi that her brother had carried her into the house, she thought she'd pass out.

what?

rakshas had carried her. oh no, was there anything more embarrassing, more horrific.

that's why her heart was pounding so much at the thought. not for any other reason.

***

"aao chhotey! rahim, chhotey ke liye nashta laayiye..."

(come, chhotey! rahim, please get breakfast for chhotey.)

his grandmother, his mother's mother, sat at the head of the table supervising breakfast, his uncle, mama ji, aunt, mami ji, and cousin, akash had already started breakfast.

hemangini raizada was a remarkable person, graceful of demeanour, still a very good looking woman at 68, she was known to be extremely strong and wise. which is why perhaps no one could figure out her fascination with lakshmi, her beloved pet goat. but in this matter, hemangini was adamant, lakshmi was not to be messed with.

life had thrown challenges at this woman with unerring regularity... her mother died when she was very young, the only child of her parents. her father, a fairly profligate zamindar, as zamindars were wont to be, decided to marry again within months of her mother's death.

the new wife had no time or love for the 13 year old hemangini. the moment she reached 16, her father's wife decided she was old enough to be gotten rid off without too much fuss, it was time to get her married. and so it was that arun singh raizada's mother heard of the beautiful daughter of zamindar patwardhan choudhury, and chose her to be the bride of her only child.

hemangini hadn't expected much of her husband, given her experience of men, such as her father and his irresponsible brothers. and so when arun singh started to treat her as if she mattered, showering her with love and respect, she was shocked at first.

she'd learned to harden her heart in the three years gone by, but now with her husband she slowly let her guard down and began to feel things again... and then before she knew it, she was terribly in love with this kind man who adored her. he was also brave and intelligent and fair. though belonging to a land owning zamindar family, he'd decided to study engineering and set up business. his motors and pumps manufacturing company grew swiftly and in just a couple of decades would become well known in its field.

in the meantime, their two children had come along. rajveer singh and ratna kusum, just two years apart.

as she took care of her home, her husband, her young kids, and studied for her b.a. in hindi literature, hemangini believed she must be the happiest girl, if not in the whole world, certainly in lucknow.

a few years later, they moved to delhi as the business had grown and her husband felt he needed to be based in a more accessible city.

then came another tragedy. arun singh suffered a massive heart attack one night, and even before they came with the ambulance to take him to the hospital, he was gone.

hemangini was only 39 at that time. her 23 years with arun singh had changed her forever.

she felt a strength she'd never felt before.

a part of her died with him. she didn't resist that, knowing the same would happen to him if she were to leave. but with the rest of her she fought boldly to hold on to life, give her teenaged children the stability and love they needed as they came to terms with this new reality.

her only regret was, she couldn't keep the business, it had to be sold off as the knowledge required to run it was not available in the family. rajveer and ratna were too young.

her son, a bright boy with a degree in management, also opted to start his own thing, a garment export unit which did reasonably well. all was going well, then he fell in love with the young part time maid who came to do the puja related work in the evenings, often staying back to massage hemangini's aching head or help out in the kitchen if there were guests as there often were.

rajveer married manorama. his mother told herself, true, her daughter in law was loud and and not at all well bred, but she did seem to have a good heart. it would work out. a part of her doubted that very much, but still, she was not about to give up... one had to make life work. it didn't happen automatically.

ratna married a man of her choice, dushyant malik, again from a land owning family in lucknow. he was well educated, charming, handsome. no one had an inkling that this was a man with no serious relationship with a thing called conscience. spoiled rotten by their mother, he and his brother believed that pleasure was all one had to seek and if that meant breaking promises, being lazy, hurting people, so be it. they were rich enough to get away with anything. they had every right to do as they pleased.

ratna knew early on in their marriage that her husband was cheating on her, but by then her daughter had come along and somehow she couldn't quite face the idea of divorce. what bothered her more on a day to day basis was his irrational anger, ignited by any and every thing, but ratna held on. seven years after anjali was born, came her son, arnav. ratna tried to manage the best she could, finding happiness in her kids, her gardening and their regular visits to her mother's home in delhi.

shocking as it may seem to many people, life teaches you to live with the most untenable things, if there's a good enough cause for which you believe it must be tolerated. ratna was certain leaving her husband would be terribly harmful for the kids and so she stayed.

sometimes hemangini wondered if she had done wrong by not insisting her daughter walk out on this painful marriage. she wandered if she'd in some way failed her daughter. she wondered if that night when everything ended could have been prevented by her.

"lakshmi ji, aap hume kahan le jaa rahe hain?" a young girl's clear bell like voice interrupted her thoughts.

(lakshmi ji, where are you taking me?)

she looked toward the staircase to see a young slim woman in a pale green churidar kameez running after lakshmi on light feet. behind her came anjali, with a big smile on her face.

"miss gupta, please hurry up, i am ready to leave!" said asr tersely, barely looking up from his omelette and toast.

"nani ji, yeh hain khushi ji, khushi kumari gupta, abhi chhotey ke office mein kaam karengi yeh... pata hai yeh kahan se hain, nani ji... lucknow!" anjali coolly ignored arnav and his scowl as she introduced khushi to nani ji.

(nani ji, this is khushi ji, khushi kumari gupta, she's going to work in chhotey's office... do you know where she's from, nani ji? from lucknow!)

khushi held her palms together in a namaste and said, "nani ji, namaste," her smile was tremulous... the mention of lucknow had her close to tears in an instant.

nani ji looked at the innocent young face with sharp clean features, she liked the lack of guile in the large eyes, the respect this girl showed her, and what a gentle way, not at all like the girls of today, especially some of chhotey's friends.

nani ji smiled, "namaste, bitiya, hamare lucknow se ho tum? bade shubh din pe aayi ho, aaj hum devi maiyya ke liye havan rakkhe hain ghar mein... shyam ko zaroor rahiyega."

(namaste, you're from our lucknow? you've come on a very auspicious day, we have a prayer at home for devi maiyya this evening, you must be here."

"devi maiyya!" squealed khushi suddenly terribly happy, "aap ke yahan wo hain?"

(devi maiyya! she's here at your place?)

asr looked at the wide luminous smile and got up suddenly. 

"i said, miss gupta, hurry up! i don't pay people to hang around and waste time talking nonsense," his tone was sharp, his eyes cold.

everyone looked at him shocked.

khushi stuttered, "nahin, sir..."

(no, sir...)

without saying another word, asr walked out of the dining area, and made his way down the wide hallway leading out of the house.

"na-aani ji, hum chalte hain," khushi said looking worried and tense, and started to follow him.

(nani ji, i'll go now.)

"hello hi bye bye, ee tragedy queen types kahan se mila hamaar arnav bitwa ko," suddenly mami ji burst out, "lucknow mail coming to catching dilli high phalier! hoonh." her large gold earrings jangled as she jerked her head disdainfully. khushi had never seen anyone dress up in gold encrusted saree and so much make up for breakfast.

(hello hi bye bye, where did our arnav boy find this tragedy queen type? lucknow mail has come to catch our delhi high flier! hooonh.)

nani ji said, "manorama!" stern and commanding.

anjali looked upset.

akash jumped up and said, "khushi ji, main hoon akash, aa... aap mere executive assistant hone wali hain..."

(khushi ji, i am akash, you are going to be my executive assistant...)

khushi looked at him gratefully, "namaste... sir," she remembered what that rakshas had said about how he liked to be addressed by his employees, maybe his brother was also like him...

"no no, khushi ji, please call me akash..." a tender resigned air about akash as he said that.

khushi warmed to this decent man. she smiled a little and then she shrieked...

"hey devi maiyya! nani ji, aap ne kaha aaj unka puja hai yahan? issi liye issi liye..."

(hey devi maiyya! nani ji, you said you have a puja for her here today? that's why, what's why...)

"that's why what, bitiya?" nani ji was intrigued.

"mithai," khushi was smiling gleefully, "mithai, nani ji! when i was coming here something made me say there was a puja here and you'd ordered all our jalebis and balushahis and pedas, and when i left i packed all of them... in that big suitcase? where do i have so many things to need two two suitcases! see? devi maiyya wanted me to bring those sweets, hey devi maiyya! thank you, you saved me from being a terrible liar!"

she did several namastes to her goddess, eyes closed, frantic movement of joined hands, from forehead to chin and back.

she realised everyone was staring at her as though she was crazy.

"miss gupta!" came a yell from outside.

khushi stared at the front door worried.

"do i have to carry you out of the house now?" he was livid.

khushi began to race toward the door, looking back only to call out breathlessly, "anjali ji, my big black suitcase has the best mithais from lucknow, i have already opened it. please take it for today's puja... namaste nani ji, hum aate hain..."

(namaste, nani ji, i'll be back...)

***

it was a tiny little room, but it had a big window. khushi sat at her new desk and looked around. oh she must get the room organised. she was beginning to feel excited. she'd never worked in an office before. wonder what akash ji would ask her to do. for the time being, she thought she should find out a bit about what the company did... she looked at the closed door on one side of the room and wondered what lay beyond that... then she took out her little devi maiyya idol and placed it on a shelf above her head.

***

"hello, jean pierre, good to see you, it's been a while," asr shook the young frenchman's hand warmly.

"ah, ahhnav," jean pierre smiled back, "at last we get started on the project..." his english was heavily french accented, the "r" gone "ghh" the "the" becoming "ze" and so on, but over all it was a charming sound and the young attractive designer never failed to impress the girls with that different air.

"i hope we can get ze work done without any interruptions and things, you know there's so little time."

asr was looking at the door on one side of his large room with a quizzical smile...

"oh i think we'll be fine, jean pierre... everything is under control."

created by sunshine80

index

chapter 6





 

hello hi bye bye episode 38

bas... ek baar sasu ma green jhandi hilay de... to hum arnab beds kassyap ka cards chhapwaike apan akas bitwa ke saahi mayrriage ka preparassun mein lag jai... hello hi bye bye.... bada maja aai!

inimitable, irreplaceable, impossible mami ji. her words are worth preserving for posterity, a grain of truth in almost every dialogue, oh fabulous manorama makeupiya whose words are sans touchupiya. 


.....................  


once mother in law gives the green signal, i'll print arnav beds (weds) kassyap cards and get going with preparations for my son akas's royal wedding. hello hi bye bye... oh such a high!


 





......................

those teej episodes
episode rambles
fanfiction

episode 51 khushi comes back

if just to say "ghar chalte hai," a guy looks this good, then what are we to do.

episode 51

"there is a space between man's imagination and man's attainment that may only be traversed by his longing"
~~~ kahlil gibran ~~~

he turns and looks at the door
one last time i'll look at you
rabba vey unwinds gently and eases into frame

when the most expressive pair of eyes long for someone with stirring eloquence, it's hard to think of anything else. to not feel all the things this torn young man must be feeling, unprepared as he was for emotions of this proportion.

then a question came knocking. and though i tried to lock the door and refused to let it find me, it persisted. i have felt most uncomfortable watching the scenes of asr being paralleled with shyam's in the matter of khushi. while one's emotions have felt beautiful and right, the other one's completely illicit, even obscene.

yet, both men had women in their lives. not just shyam. had asr not brought lavanya and it was just a casual fling between two people who belonged to the same world, it would be one thing, but now it wasn't that. thanks to his confrontation with his grandmother over choices and the individual's right to live the way he or she wants to, he now had brought la home. the complexion of there relationship had changed. it was as close to permanence as two people, who expressly did not believe in marriage, could take their relationship. she trusted him. she read some sort of commitment in this act of his.

and yet, his thoughts were wrapped like a stubborn dupatta around another girl, flying to her at the sight or sound of anything. why did this feel right and not what shyam was doing?

i guess it was to do with the response of the two men to the situation they found themselves in. while shyam never tried, not even once, to fight the attraction he felt, asr did everything he could not to think of her. not only because of la, because of himself, and his stated idea of there being no space for love in his life.

till the very end, he tried to deny the claim her thoughts made on him. he fought hard, very hard. he tried to be fair to la, he almost convinced himself, but finally la saw the thing for what it was.

he admitted then perhaps he'd never really been fair to la. and in their interaction was a respect for each other, a pain, that made you feel, this is the inexplicable grip of human relations that we do often find ourselves in. we may want it all to be cut and dried but matters of the  heart rarely are. the essential question is how do we deal with the difficult questions.

which is where character comes in, i guess. shyam unfortunately, was made of weak and dark and ugly things. while asr of stuff more noble, more clear and strong.

even after la left, it wasn't as though asr immediately chased his feelings for khushi, he just kept trying to ignore them, till he absolutely couldn't and had to say, he would tell her that day, "faraq kyun padta hai."

shyam wouldn't understand the finer points of such a struggle, nor why you must search for the right path, for him always the easy way out. a huge difference in the way he defined living life his way and the way asr defined the same thing. as far as shyam is concerned, this constitutes getting everything he wants, no matter what happens to others. to asr, it is getting to live the way he wants to, without interfering with the way others want to live their lives.

and so it was that i got lost looking at a man completely tossed by the absence of a woman who said she was going "hamesha ke liye." how out of it all his air when di finds him, and that caught unawares look in the eyes, the slightly unrooted feel, how does an actor get the perfect nuance of a moment as hard to describe as that. no over acting, no under acting, there was a man standing immersed in another world, and his sister walked in on him.

a pause. someone should learn from this young man how to make utterly ordinary things sound fabulous. "kuch nahin... chale," oh the distracted air in the voice. "jija ji yahan kya kar rahe honge...," a grainy rasp in the voice... "di, let's go!" er, how does one not get stuck here?

 
so many times it looked like she would walk in on the truth regarding her husband. as at this very moment. but again the hide and seek with shyam's truth continued. what started with a  suspicious frown ended on a smiling, indulgent, "aap bhi na..." shyam again made use of his extreme ease with lying and got his saale saab and raani sahiba exactly where he wanted them.

but shyam wasn't the only one with a penchant for the non-truth here. far away in a car, another liar fretted. again a question, why did khushi lie about leaving town? the answer can go so many ways, in literature class this could well end up being the favourite of examiners, if not for anything just to see how imaginative the students were capable of being.

my easy answer: she was feeling, just like him, things unfamiliar, things too powerful, and things she neither knew what to call, nor wanted. too complicated. a young girl from a sheltered middle class home, her head already filled with several set notions of what's love, marriage, duty, etc., and what a "good" man was all about, was certainly not prepared for the things she was feeling. why was she constantly thinking of the rakshas, why wasn't she happy at the thought of never seeing him? and then in that hot and bothered storeroom, everything possibly came to a head. not just her heart, her desire possibly spoke and said things that terrified her.

so she had to find a way to shut it all out. and without thinking, just wanting to hit back at the one who caused this unplanned madness, she lied. to hurt him back. the canny thing in us always knows to whom we matter and to whom we don't. she knew her declaration would bother him, badly, not make him "khush." i'd have loved to hear her say some day, she knew even then they had a weird thing for each other, and tell him how much it had bothered her to even consider leaving delhi.

thankfully, the jalebis saved the day, and back khushi turned, to walk right back toward her rakshas, this time with a lovely rational excuse. they will run a sweet shop from bediji's empty space adjoining the garage. by dropping the chunari on her that morning, this is what devi maiya was hinting at. not to leave delhi.

asr held the chunari handed to him by di and remembered a girl in a storeroom, saving her dm, falling on her, her thoughts plagued him. shyam took the piece of cloth from his hand and tied it on the mirror. but by then what the chunari had to tie it already had. a girl who was an expert maker of sweets and a diabetic who'd be totally bowled over by her sweetness.

again i wonder, what if there were no dm to organise the proceedings and push the two stubborn ones toward each other? wouldn't love find its way anyway? are we capable of finding the right path through right thought and action on our own, or is life/the eternal's interference an axiomatic truth and requirement?

too many questions today. behaving like la in the kitchen. so cute, so clueless.

and here's a log of the most clued up one's dialogwas this episode for your enjoyment. nebher phere bhen mami's here.

1.
ee cookerwa bhi sasuma se poochke siti bajaayga ka?
will this cooker whistle only after asking ma in law?

2.
ari o miss teep taap kassyap...
oh miss tip top kassyap.

3.
ee pyaaj kati ho ki pyaajaaa
have you sliced onions or slashed them (loosely translated)

4.
hamri akhiyan ke kaajal se hote hain sab ghayal... dekho kaise chhum chhum bajti, dekho humri payal...
the kohl in my eyes breaks many a heart, now see how prettily my anklets (payal) ring... there was a playful hint by the dialogue guys about the payal that would ring quite a bell in her life.

5.
hello hi bye bye... arre aise isspoon se karogi toh rotiyan humre goldeyn jublee par banee.
hello hi bye bye, if you use a spoon to do that, then the dough will be ready on my golden jubilee.

6.
arre kaanstipessan baad mein, pehle kaam.
not constiptaion, first work.

7.
haan miss teep taap kassyap, tum singal pees ho.
yes, miss tiptop kassyap, you're a single piece.

how elated a girl who was ready to leave was at the plan she'd cooked up to stay back.

remember how sad she was when leaving seemed inevitable? and still she believes she wants to have nothing to do with him... hai re nand kissore.

and here was a man looking back yet again, next to him the one who never had any right to, but had no sense of wrong.

 

finally, a cap i couldn't resist. some day asr will take of those glasses that clouded his vision. this one, if we needed an excuse :) , is in anticipation of that.

......................

saansey ruk jaygi episodes

episode rambles

fanfiction

episodes 384/385 lost and found

while story lost its way in the shenanigans of trp, channel and ph politics, and the tussle over will asr live or die, etc., something, or rather someone was found, even if not heard or seen.

mama ji.

now we know he is in the us of a. and there he has been all along leaving his english speaking teeptaap bootiphool wife, mother in law of khoon bhari taang right here in shantivan to fend for herself alone, armed only with her makeuppiya, banarsis sarees, jewelllery, and fine english. my poor only hello hij, no bye byej.

she will stay put here, while her akas bitwa will go off to amreeka with his wife to take care of this mysterious new project which has come through, inception to contract done in exactly or less than two episodes.

i am aware ar is a powerful conglomerate with the most gorgeous tycoon on the planet as its chief. but to get work done at this speed!!! impressed.

sigh... what nonsense we have to put up with just because supposedly responsible and thinking adults, sorry professionals, decide to play passing the parcel with their product.

passing the dud track, rather.

ever since dadi, this game has been played in earnest. when post shyam there was a gap, quickly an asr's illegitimate son track was introduced via sheetal.

no one thought nothing through.

everyone decided, audience will take whatever is dished out to them. and no need to bother with pakoda, jalebi, karela, aloo ke parathe, achaar, chaat, lassi, black coffee, adrak wali chai... some half baked ideas will do.

 

and so it is that in 384, the boy who had no idea even in 378 who his father was and had run off to a restaurant to find him, that same boy says he knew all along asr is his father.

bizarre.

i can understand they had to change the story... but did they have to be this lazy? and disrespect the viewer this much?

while the scene between asr and aarav had something touching about it, it really failed to connect because it just didn't make any sense. plus it was clearly put their to build the foundation (a very weak one) for the impending adoption. also to tell asr that there's something very black in the daal... orphanage? aha!

and so it was with both the episodes. more and more strange stuff.

suddenly akash and payal must leave for the us. thirteen more episodes left for the show to end... i wonder, what was the rush. yes, both deepali and akshay were fed up and wanted to leave, but surely they could have found a better way to let them go. why these implausible plonking in of things?

thankfully, it was time to let sheetal go. gave me great joy to know i won't see this shifty character again. yet from set up to denouement scene nothing felt natural.

first the little boy brought up an orphanage, then asr planned this elaborate hercule poirot style revelation scene. is that even his way? and even if it is, why would he do it at the entrance to his home? and during a send off party that he has proposed for akash and payal?

and just in case four lions and its writers and the channel didn't know, you can't suddenly adopt a child in india... it takes a long time, sometimes years. if you're a single parent, it's even more complicated.

you can't teach a kid of 5 (who is now magically 6, an old ipk malaise this flexi-age) basketball in less than two months, nor can you manipulate their sugar levels to induce diabetes.

you can't just keep back a child from an orphanage at your place with a temporary permit or whatever the lady from the orphanage promised.

if you switched asr's hair with aarav's, the dna report will say they were identical and therefore belonged to the same person. beside how did sheetal know of khushi's plan. she didn't. this match was supposed to be for real when the track said asr is indeed aarav's father. then track changed.

and most of all, devi maiyya's wish or not, you can't decide to adopt a kid just like that, standing in the hallway, post melodrama and very bad acting by chief baddie.

also, anjali may look more teary eyed than ever before, she may switch to english, she may speak of being proud of you... but this entire let's just adopt aarav, post knowing him for all of maybe two weeks or less thanks to a ridiculous situation... is just not okay. not endearing either. even if asr sounds totally cool saying they'll adopt.

but then since the idea was half baked to begin with, it had to end up soggy and not at all palatable, i guess.

nothing in the sheetal and aarav track adds up. plus it reeks of the shallow nonsensical minor tracks that other soaps come up with. both dadi and sheetal must have got lost in kumbh ka mela and meandered into ipk by mistake. i wish they'd never been found.

thoughts

~ what's this instant tears at the mere mention of going to america. a totally improbable scenario and scene, just because in two episodes everything had to be wrapped up...



~ during the poolside conversation, aarav said several things that asr has said earlier. i hate you. important. etc. this was the scene that had to quickly make asr want to take aarav's responsibility. poor guy, had to say, "tumhe kahin jaane ki zaroorat nahin hai," you don't have to go anywhere to aarav. and we know once asr makes a promise he is even more adamant than salman khan in making sure it's kept. how much more obvious must ipk get. the serial which showed an entire romance take root and grow, without ever saying anything about love.~ noticed a sad sad piece of music never heard over those "emotional" scenes.

~ overnight, sheetal became total baddie, rushing to corners taking calls, snarling, being uncaring... maybe she was channeling her inner shyam. the change of demeanour was funny. such a rush to get to the end in just two episodes.



~ "hey devi maiyya, laad governor muskura rahein hain... aaj kaunsa bhukamp aane wala hai." hey dm, laad gov is smiling, wonder what earthquake will be upon us today. khushi had to be comical suddenly... so called sanka this... but really it wasn't.

~ main hoon na... did asr have to say that srk dialogue.

~ ek purane amir ex-boyfriend... ooo that sounded good. may i have one too... an old rich ex bf?



ps: sometimes a strange thought floats by. was aarav supposed to be that elusive dhruv's son? the cousin never seen only heard of just once, back in episode 10 or 11. were they moving toward killing off asr and then letting dhruv stride in, the bad 'un, the black sheep or whatever? so the show could go on with this new plot taking over after asr's demise? that would, among other things, somehow make sense of that trepidation on sheetal's face when she sees khushi about to open the dna test results before she tears it up. 

......................

the meant nothing episodes

episode rambles 

fanfiction

episode 380 the tycoon's gift

there was something in 380 that i really really liked. even though barun looked not too slick, a little tired, maybe even scruffy. but when asr drew aside his wife and gave her his karwa chauth gift, i was puddle. and i was so damn proud of this character called asr.

not a priceless diamond, not a fabulous saree, not mounds of gold, the usual gifts for women, the tycoon gave his jalebi bai something that will make her independent... he gave her her own company. registered and set up, i bet he added a handsome capital too.
kkgsr catering service, it was hers now, to do as she pleased.
"tumhari... dabba company ab ek legitimate business hai!" when she gawked at the papers, he said, your dabba company is now a legitimate  business.

and even if this bend in the story came because they planned to kill him off, it was rich and beautiful... and only one hero on tv could have thought of it. asr always had this cool acceptance of women as equals... i don't think the gender bias ever dared to go anywhere near him, knowing he was too sharp and sahi to get taken in by it. and his ego was too settled and in place to need a weaker gender to satisfy his sense of superiority. mera naam hai arnav singh raizada, oh yes, he had a major sense of self... sometimes perhaps even bordering on arrogance, but it came off his own sense of achievement... not by putting an entire gender in a somewhat lower bracket.

this man is and will always be special to me.

he wanted khushi to be all of herself, be independent financially, even though she was married to a man who could afford to keep her and more. what he valued for himself, he perhaps wanted even for her. how many men in our world are this confident, this caring, this abs adorable.

yeah, sallow skin, not too well trimmed stubble, baggy shalwar kurta and all, i wanted to give him a hug. asr, the time for a hero like you is so so come.

how tenderly he looked at her, and tried to explain why he had done what he had. before this he'd been equally loving when he tried to get her to come to a restaurant with him and eat whatever she liked. he really was not happy with her fasting, he wanted to do something nice for her... of course, he wouldn't fast. ha, i like this crisp, neat man. and his mind.

but back to those killer lines.

"actually, khushi, usse tum financially independent bhi ho jaogi... paison ke liye kissi pe dependent rehne ki zaroorat nahin hai... i mean... you never know... kal ko agar main na rahoon-" slap.

actually, khushi, that way you'll become financially independent... you won't need to anybody for money... i mean... you never know...

she looked apprehensive.

if i am not there tomorrow.

she gave him a sharp little slap and made him shut up. pity it was a double who got to administer the rap.

she had gone teary eyed with love and all his loving, almost forgotten the menace of the fasting sheetal ji, but now she had to tick him off. really, how could she not.

she didn't want to hear his "bakwas"... his nonsense.

but he was only being "practical"... why must she slap him for that.

i guffawed.

marriage coming along nicely mr and mrs.

 

the episode otherwise concentrated on building khushi's angst. and that sheetal flinging dupatta to create a screen and see asr's face through it was creepy really. i don't blame khushi for sensing terrible things.

by the end of the twenty minutes, we came to that inevitable moment. a report she had sworn never to see, she did see. and it confirmed her worst fears.

khushi read two important documents today. both ultimately spoke of her losing her arnav ji. sad. would have been interesting had story been told well.
have to say before i go...
sorry, asr doesn't lose chess games to five year olds. aarav is five... really? and must people keep repeating he looks juuust like asr?
if nephew had me feeling inordinately happy, his mami made me chuckle and think, only mano. kc fast was opened with a look at her husband's face on the phonewa, through the sieve mind you.

"hello hi bye bye, arre moonwa aaya ki naahin??"
hello hi bye bye, has the moon appeared or not?

......................

the meant nothing episodes

episode rambles 

fanfiction

episode 311 hello hi bye bye

"bhat say, khoon bhari tang?"

dear mami of the intolerable bad taste and terrifying colour combinations, she of makeupiya that no one can touchupiya... also gave us "bilackbuster surprije" this episode.

......................

huq hai tumhara mujhe pe episodes

episode rambles 

fan fiction

mami and her bitwa

 

sometimes you just got to miss mami. has anyone been more bizarre and chaotic... but life is bland and boring without someone such as her. what am i saying. there's no one quite like her. her bitwa i get the feeling has a penchant for weird women. that look on his face as she gets up to her first rate english and super sharp observations... he's cool and she to the conventional mind, is not. but bitwa knows better. a rather sweet amused love for mami and a genuinely mystified air about him, two pretty damn neat actors getting into a lovely vibe. some day must think about why arnav singh raizada likes offbeat sanka touched women who ring their own spin to survival of the fittest.

oh and i like mami's keeping up with the times... at first i was crestfallen at the lack of bright yellow gold and banarasi/paithani/kanjeevaram saree. then i realised, mami has modernized... it's the diamondia pearl look now. uff sophisticassun.

also, now boutiquewa saree, not tradissunal, haye. plus she is a businesswoman herself, with free "google" with purchase offer.

mami... you are an entire "issting operassun" only.

hello hi bye bye.

......................

i p k k n d ek jashn

episode rambles

fanfiction

hello hi bye bye episode 268

"ab arnab bitwa ke hello hi aur oo kidnapper ko bye bye kareka padi. samjhi?"

 

time to say hello hi to arnav bitwa and bye bye to that kidnapper, understand? 

sigh, my mano darling in episode 268, all roiled and angry and determined to get her arnab bitwa back. her language remained hello hi but the content and delivery were dignified and strong yet unmistakably mami... she was practical, focused, brave... nephew and mami seemed to have a lot in common.

 

"kaono baat naahin... tum tarai toh ki na? ab hum dono milkar tarai karat hai..."  

no problem, you have tried now we shall both try...

"hum jaroor success karbe..." 

we will certainly succeed. success karbe... nice.

"manorama detectibh ij bith you..."

seetee bajake line, manorama detective is with you.

"okay?!" yes, mami ji, abs okay!

................................

i loved that attitude in... "jaroor le aibe.. lekin ee bakhat aansoo bahaika nahin... khud ka take care kareka hai..." certainly will bring him back... but this is not the time for tears... this is the time to take care of oneself.

......................

kidnap episodes
episode rambles

fanfiction