kahani teri meri... two people, a dance, and a vm.

k a h a n i   t e r i   m e r i

watch the vm here.

saw a lovely edit on fb of the two of them laughing during the shoot of teri meri and had to make this one. yeah, they kept laughing and being totally out of it and the next instant, they had left all that behind and were intensely into the languid arresting sensual world of teri meri. even in the offscreen sbs segment, every time they switched between being barun sanaya and being asr khushi, i went with them.
23 jan was teri meri anniversary. who in their right senses, i was thinking, actually observes the anniversary of a dance from a daily hindi soap... thankfully, i stopped thinking and just got into it. i say thankfully because this morning, when i was well aware that the date had been crossed, i was again watching the fluid moves, dazed. 

some things are hard to explain. teri meri feels new almost every time i watch. though i practically know the sequence by heart.

was thinking, what what what does this dance have, why is it so very beautiful. off hand, the dance from both godfather i and iii come to mind, and scent of a woman of course, there have been several fabulous dances between lovers in cinema, right now my mind's a blank but i have seen many... yet teri meri calls me again and again. little things, big things, everything calls. the brown of barun's hand against the ivory of sanaya's against that green, and sliding over her stomach. the intense, serious look on barun's face. the little breaks of joyous movement between slow fluid ones. the perplexed look in sanaya's eyes. the absolutely graceful moments at points when they are doing nothing much, just walking or standing before one another. a complete conversation without words being uttered. the flowing beauty of their bodies... reminds me of these crystal two candle stands i have, they are straight along one edge and undulating on the other. the two fit perfectly together along the wavy edge... smooth, lissome, in sync. yet, khushi felt feminine and woman while asr had a certain hardness to his body, very male.

i watched feeling all those things one does and then made a few edits. wonderful work by everyone who was part of teri meri. each shot feels right. and it just takes you along with the dance till something in you is spinning twirling sighing and hearing a story... your own story maybe, the ones done, the ones yet to come.

thank you to the person who posted that shot of the two laughing...

i've made a vm... not that one can improve on the original, this is a tribute. hope you enjoy.

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the teri meri prem kahani episodes

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no media, please. ... an asr khushi one shot

"no, aman, complete media ban... that's it... what?!! main ne kaha na, nobody, no newspaper, magazine, channel.. no a no b, no z... no one. i want complete silence for a while. please make sure that happens." he finished his call abruptly, picked up his jacket, shrugged it on smoothly, and turned to leave the room.

"khushi!!!" he called out, obviously in a hurry, "khushi, where are you... i'm getting late!"

"thahriye... ek minute, ek minute," she rushed in from across the pool, her aarati plate in hand, responding to the impatience in his voice. the grain in it changed at every turn and twist sending all sorts of tremors through her. and it added to her breathlessness.

"okay okay... relax," he said when he saw her in that state... "i'm only getting a bit late, no need to get that hassled." 

her breathing audibly hitched. did he have no idea what that "ralax" did to her every time?

"wo... n.n.nahi, arnav ji... just that... ok, aap bahut mahatwapoorn kaam ke liye jaa rahe hain... hume aarati karne dijiye, asha hai ki aapko poori safalta mile..."

("er... no... you're off to a very important meeting, let me do an aarati, wish you complete success...")

"ok," he said with that indulgent look which always came into his eyes when the women of his family appeared with their aarati plates, lamp lit, and loads of love in their eyes. especially, these eyes... his cooky, crazy, totally her own person wife. he always felt a flip in his heart when he thought of her or saw her. 

he stood obediently, head a little lowered as she raised the plate and made the mandatory three circles around his face, then she dipped her thumb in the red vermilion in the little silver bowl and went to make a "tilak" on his forehead.

his hand came up swiftly and gripped her arm... "khushi, stop!"

"kya?!!!"

"don't put that! i can't go to a meeting with that!"

"kyun nahin? issme kharabi kya hai..."

("why not? what's wrong with it?")

"kharabi... khushi, why don't you understand!!!" his voice grew urgent, irritated, gravelly, "this is a meeting with the world's largest luxury and fashion house... i have to look the role... aur waise bhi, you know i don't like all these things..." he pursed his lips, clearly annoyed.

"par yeh bahut bada kaam hai, aap ko bhagwan ka aashirwad.."

("but this is a huge task, god's blessings...")

"khushi," his voice had grown a little cold, "i've told you many times, i believe i make my own life... you know i don't believe in what people call god. i have never stopped you from doing what you like... don't you think there should be some understanding of how i see things. especially because this meeting is so so important?"

contrarily enough, though she absolutely did not want to see him leave in a bad mood, wanted him to go feeling calm and strong, she felt angry and couldn't stop herself from showing it. "theek hai, aap jaiye phir, hume aap se kuch nahin kahna," she blurted out and stalked off

("fine, go then, i don't want to talk to you.")

"khushi..." he tried to cajole her with a softening voice, but she was adamant, face resolutely turned away.

he looked at his watch, he was going to be late... he had to leave now. again he pursed his lips, this time a note of helplessness.

he walked up to her from behind, when he was really close he bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the the nape of her neck, "wish me luck," he murmured against her skin, and before she could turn around, he was gone.

did my breath stop for a second, thought khushi. she could feel tears sting her eyes sharply. why, why was it always like this with them.

***

it was late when he got in, she was almost asleep, the room was dark except for the dim night light in the far corner. he walked in, careful not to make any noise. but she'd been worrying about him... that meeting, she had to know how he was feeling after it. was it good or was he despondent? beaten? eyes still closed, she breathed out slowly and started to listen for the signs. if he were not upbeat, happy... oh, please no... don't let that happen... don't even think like that, khushi... achhi achhi baatein soch (think good things)... this is too important for arnav ji... and she listened.

she heard him pick up his change, go to the bathroom... gargle, brush... he must be having a quick shower now, then the silence as he toweled himself dry, changed.. and the door opened, a sliver of light hit her eyelids, she grimaced involuntarily.

"khushi?!!" he whispered.

she stayed silent, eyes closed.

she felt him walk over to his side of the bed, get in. then a rustle of bedclothes as he shifted closer to her, very close, she could feel him exhale somewhere near her ear.

her breath began to change... growing faster. arnav, uff why can't i be calm around you.

"khushi..." he whispered right by her cheek, "you awake, baby?... okay i will whisper because you don't want me to know you're up... you've been fretting the whole evening, haven't you... and praying for me? sitting in front of devi maiyya... talking her into making sure i succeed?'

her eyes flew open... how did he know!

"i know," he said as though hearing her thought... then he kissed the eyelid nearest him lightly, a smile on his lips, "i know you can't ever let me go like that... you made up with me in your mind, said you'd try and understand how i saw things, then missed me like mad, looked at your phone thinking you'll call me... then thought, no, i don't want to disturb arnav ji, he needs to "focus" now... sorry khushi, i keep saying these strange words... but you know..."

she couldn't let him go on like this, she raised her hand and put a finger on his lips, "shhh, aap jaise bhi shabd istemaal kartein hain, theek hai... yeh aapka tarika hai... par...?" the question she really wanted to ask...

(shh, whatever be the sort of words you use, they're ok, it's your way... but?...)

he kissed the finger she'd laid against his lips, and grasped her hand in his drawing in to his heart. then he caught hold of her by both her shoulders and swiftly tugged, landing her on top of him...

she was startled, eyes widening, squeal of "arre!!!" escaping her lips, and she saw his face...

head thrown back, he was smiling hugely, that drugging, utterly male, take on the world smile of his, his chin thrust forward, the stubble as always perfectly shaved, and even in the half light, his eyes shone like bright jewels of a rare chocolate hue, swirling cognac, brown earth drenched in rain. she felt a shiver run through her. he was so beautiful when he smiled triumphant. this is how she always wanted to see him. 

she let her hands slide up and cup his face, looking at him wishing the moment would never end.

he caught her eye, quietly he said, "we did it."

before that could sink in, he was up in one quick motion with her, carrying her in his arms, "yes!!! you and i, we did it, my darling sweet paagal khushi kumari gupta singh raizada."

"kya?" she squeaked as he started to twirl  around with her...

"kya? khushi? that... wo... for which you prayed... the deal is done... it's ours... we succeeded, khushi... your prayers, my focus... came together and got it done..." he was laughing and talking in a rush. 

to watch arnav singh raizada enjoying triumph in business was a pleasure of a very precious kind.

khushi started to grin. "kya!!!" she exclaimed in delight.

he sat down suddenly with her on his laps and nuzzled her neck, he whispered "kya kya karna band karogi..., " and laughed at his nonplussed wife, lover, life, "you and i have pulled it off, and baby, there is no such thing as my success for me any longer... okay, i can't say filmi things the way you like them, but jab se tum meri zindagi mei aayi ho, it's become our world, not just mine... no success of mine is possible without you... and it is always our win... always."

"hamesha," khushi stroked his hair, his nuzzling head, eyes closed, just enjoying him "win..." she was smiling...

he picked her up again without a word and took her outside, by the pool on the recliner. up there the stars twinkled. he lay next to her and watched them for a second, then turned and kissed her deep on her lips, long, slow, wandering, searching kiss.

"er, so did you put the tilak on my photograph?" he said suddenly just as she was about to drown in all sorts of sensations.

"kya?!!!" she yelped, "aapko yeh bhi pata hai?"

("what? you know this also?")

"yes, my ziddi, pyaari, completely lunatic biwi, i know that too... and i know a few other things as well," he winked suddenly, her eyes grew saucer like, lips forming that "o" that was all hers, "want me to show you?" he said as he reached out and touched her flat belly, sliding his hand up to her waist.

the pool, the garden, the skies watched silently. only butterflies fluttered. hush, don't tell anyone anything, asr has banned all media for a while. 

***

the news broke a week later. ar had tied up with the world's largest luxury house and would be opening boutiques around the world. the news was a complete surprise to the industry. no one had heard that the powerful conglomerate was in talks with anyone in india, let alone ar. how had this young man pulled it off... media started all its speculation, cogitation, analysis, prediction, projection, gossip... aman got a bonus and a break. 

and the young man concentrated on further refining his knowledge of certain things.

 ......................

hope you had fun. wrote this one in 2013 when something was on abort barun and the media... can't remember now what it was... or maybe, we had not seen him for too long and were missing him in pagal vein. the story marks that, i guess. thanks for reading.

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episode 358 a little relaxing with mr raizada

two scenes touched me. both were about asr and his dil... the two women he loved, his two most important people. in one he tried to comfort the girl he had fallen in love with without even realising and in the other he ached as he watched his sister smiling away at the thought of the man she loved, no idea of his betrayal... and asr wondered how he'd bring himself to break her heart. tell her the truth.

i tried not to think of the rest of the episode... no one was really concerned with a thinking viewer any more.

i was happy though, when in the middle of a melodramatic scene where shyam rants about being given medicine that's given to abort a child, nani suddenly turned and looked at him sternly and asked, "par damad ji, bachhe girane wali dawai ke bare maa, aap itna sab jaanat kaisan hai?"

but, damad ji, how did you know so much about a medicine to abort a child?

i have no idea why, but nani ji was not turned into a ridiculous figure as many of the characters were, like poor akash and payal. nk had now become permanent fixture and no one could care less that a member of the family, mama ji, had disappeared. so had the pet of the parivaar.

parivaar.

family.

television's obsession with this word and that for tradition, parampara gets to me.

khushi uses parivaar again and again while assuring asr (nowadays it looks like the poor man is just incapable of any sound thinking) that while di will hurt a lot, she will have the p...... to take care of her.

who talks like that.

hitesh kewaliya is a fine dialogue writer, i can't imagine he wrote all that heavy unreal sounding stuff. he is the creator of o hail hello hi bye bye... he'd have written the whole thing in more natural idiomatic language.

khushi, my dear sweet sanka devi's language is now kidnapped and replaced with tv soap language. where women are not women, we are saviours, we are devis, we are the keepers of parivar and we always have a placid calm voice, we know everything and we smile with a devi liek air, not quite human are we. samjhi?

of course, asr isn't the only one who is constantly in need of the wisdom of khushi... there's shyam. the one we keep hearing is very clever, who is behaving like a thing called brain was never anywhere near him. seems as he turns away to go to the loo, khushi can charge into the room and switch medicine bottles, he'd sense nothing. and then of course, khushi knows he'll rush out of the room after the great discovery and so nanhe ji is strategically nearby, ready to dash in and do another switch. just in case we didn't get the picture, nk in tv theatrics vein is made to show khushi the bottle surreptitiously and khushi instantly wears a knowing smile. why, dear creatives, did you do this to the most delightful heroine on television in the longest time? 

anyway, it was a day of strange feelings. and when his wife refused to let him go to work, concocting a tale involving lots of food, a saree, and uncharacteristic mushiness from asr (the supreme sadoo) to explain her strange behaviour to the p......, our man decided to do something totally sweet.

and be that romantic guy khushi had just spoken of. playful writing. and i really don't know of too many actors who can behave like a complete sadoo, then like a total lover boy and be perfectly convincing as both... in fact, no matter how hateful he is, you can't hate him and however impossibly sweet he is, the thrill of his nastiness never quite leaves your mind.

he set up a splendid getaway to food and happiness in their bedroom, just to make her relax. he even spent a whole hour getting her a saree. i loved the tenderness of the scene, and despite plastic flowers, the feel, the lighting, the texture. 

 
 

later as his sister giggled and preened and showed off the muffler she had knitted for her shyam ji who gave her so much (yeah, like lies, adultery, miscarriage and swiping of her money), arnav singh raizada watched with that love he has for her in his eyes, his voice, his whole being... 

"khushi, kal jab di ko sacchai pata chalegi toh kya hoga," khushi, what'll happen tomorrow when di gets to know the truth, he asked. a younger brother who had always been his elder sister's protector, who couldn't bear to think of her in pain, who knew she lived with a man who had not only cheated on her but done much worse. the rage and roil of emotion in him was palpable.

and at last, he resolved to do what had to be done. the man who had told khushi, he'd make sure she accepted him as her pati, her husband... main manwaoonga, i'll make you accept... ever the karta, the doer... he said now, "hoga... shyam ka jhoot kal sabke saamne aayega... main laoonga!"

it'll happen... shyam's falsehood will be brought out before everyone... i'll do it.

......................

this was perhaps my most breathless moment in the episode. a man striding in. a man who takes charge, commands. what if he also loves to distraction?

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the meant nothing episodes

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don't. even. dare. (vm: the proposal)

 
"aur haan... jeeja ji... tumne mujhse ek aur baat kahi thi...

ke tum khushi se kabhi alag nahin hoge...



well, ab woh meri pattni hai...  usske aas paas bhatakne ki... koshish bhi mat karna...



don't. even. dare."
 

this i believe, arnav singh raizada said not to protect di, but for himself... and the woman he loved to distraction and beyond. he had said all he had to to shyam, he was about to leave, then he turned back and moved toward the betrayer, his body language said it all. if he could, he would kill shyam for even daring to think that he could be with khushi in this life or any other. in clipped deliberate words he informed this sick man, she is now my wife, ah the stress on "tt"... pattni, don't you dare come anywhere near her.


from the moment the man who didn't believe in such things put the sindoor and mangalsutra on the woman whom he loved, he said she was his patni continuously while telling himself and her it was only for six months. six months, one minute, whatever, he was her pati, the protector, the one who takes responsibility of her, the one who will not let anything mar her respect. he was allowed to hurt her because she had hurt him so... but no one else. he probably even wished he could hate her. but could he? and the woman he threw out on to the poolside, could she ever not love him? or hate him? my take on episode 192.

 

watch the vm "the proposal" here.

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no copyright infringement is intended. this is a fan appreciation video and has no commercial intent. all materials belong to original owners.

not cut out for love: a cheat chapter

the alarm was strident and it wouldn't stop. he reached out in his sleep, eyes still tightly shut, searching for his phone.

where was that phone dammit!

his fingers touched something soft. what was that?! he stretched farther. he felt a contour, sharp and straight... it was someone's nose.

asr's eyes opened instantly and he sat up with a start. what the! who was in his bed... with him!! furrows rushed to his forehead knowing exactly where to land and deepen into the lines of a frown. irises smouldered, brown fire leaping in them. nostrils went hot and flared slightly.

who had dared to sully his pristine aloof den. his bed. he gritted his teeth as he swiveled around to identify and overpower the intruder.

his eyes fell on soft, gently curving lines of a pair of lips. he swallowed hard, his lips remembered a longing as his eyes widened a little. his gaze roamed upward... long eyelashes curled and rested on innocent cheeks... a wide clean unlined forehead on which flowing hair, silky and rich brown lay mussed up. what was that red thing on the hair?

asr tilted his head and squinted. that red streak...

khushi. it was khushi! the girl who drove him crazy... the girl he had gone and married.

asr felt a sudden kick in his gut.

married. he was a married man. and his... wife... lay next to him. on the other side of his bed.

a feeling he had no hold over caught him and began a rumble deep inside. what was that?

his body began to shake. white teeth flashed catching the early morning sunlight, brown eyes glinted now steeped in another emotion, wild happy loud laughter filled the room.

he had just spent his first night, he realised, the very first one with khushi lying next to him, right beside him, here in this room that had been only his through all these years. now she would be here... every night.

was this happiness, he wondered, the thing he felt tumbling around in his chest and abdomen?

he'd better get up and go for his jog if he wanted to remain sane, he thought, still laughing.

he'd have turned away but her eyes opened just then and she lay there staring at him.

"what!" he said almost whispering and wondered why he sounded like that. yeah, he really needed to go for that run.

"aap..." she whispered back... but then she sat jerkily up and wailed, "aap hastey hue bilkul laad governor nahin lagte!" her eyes looked stricken and a frown had found its way to her forehead too.

(you... you don't look like lord governor at all when you laugh!)

"so! tumhe pasand nahin! why are you looking so upset? tell me!" he grinned.

(so! you don't like that! why are you looking so upset... tell me!)

"nahin! woh! matlab laad governor..." khushi mumbled and dived back into bed pulling the covers over her.

(no... i mean.. that... er lord governor...)

"don't you dare run away while i am talking to you, samjhi tum!" he said half angrily, half tenderly. he was finding it hard to be gruff among other things.

khushi felt her stomach plummet and reach her toes, she clutched a pillow to her middle. that grain in his voice. "hey devi maiyya... raksha karna," went up a silent prayer from her shaky diaphragm.

(oh dm, save me!)

she looked frantically around to say something that would cleverly deflect the onset of that ache starting with a tingle in her toes... exactly where her stomach had gone and crashed.

"arre! dekhiye... yeh gulabi gulab kitne sundar hain!!... chaaron ore jaise phoolon ki bagiyaa... haye..." khushi chirped in a slightly high pitched voice and sighed ecstatically.

(oh.. look!... how pretty are these pink roses... as if all around is a garden of flowers... oh...)

"what?!" asr was taken aback, "gulabi... gulab... khushi! what are you saying dammit!" he exclaimed looking around confused... and then it dawned on him.

it was the bedsheet she was going on about. di! he remembered di had insisted on it. and he had... he gritted his teeth... forgotten to get op to change the damn pink monstrosity. virulent pink roses scattered all over his bedsheet in his room...

he almost leapt out of bed, ready to go and get the mistake fixed.

khushi smiled. yeah her toes were feeling a bit better. she wriggled them. he was almost half way off the bed when his eyes fell on her feet. her toes were moving. he had never noticed her toes before.

without even thinking, his fingers reached out again... he had to touch those playful little digits. why was the mad girl moving them anyway? he never wriggled his toes. he must get up and change into his running gear... get someone to change the bedsheet...

he brought her left foot over onto his lap. an urge to run his hands over it and all around assailed him... the silver anklet rested along her ankle, glinting. he flicked the bells, they made that tiny ringing sound. mesmerised, he stroked her foot with his thumb.

there was a minuscule convulsive movement of the leg and a faint "arnav ji!" was heard. he couldn't see her face, but he liked the helplessness in her voice. he let his finger tips trail up the centre of her sole from the heel to the toes. he heard a ragged sigh behind him.

he smiled slightly.

then he moved up along the bed till he was level with khushi. she was lying supine. eyes closed, a couple of lines still on her forehead and a tenseness around her lips.

he swallowed hard again.

his hand moved along the length of her body and went and rested on her belly. he lifted the hem of her white cotton kurta up and let his fingers settle on her navel. her left hand shot up and came swiftly to cover his. she pressed his hand hard over her stomach.

"uh huh!" he murmured, a devilish glint in his eyes. her lips were now slightly parted, her head had turned to one side and a few strands of hair fell over her forehead and her eyes.

he watched her quietly. had she any idea how beautiful she was? just lying there like that, not a shred of added colour, in her simple plain white cotton salwar kurta with its dark red edging, her breath quickened and a palpable expectancy in her expression, her very stance?

she could feel his breath on her face, her neck... khushi was surprised she had not felt his lips on hers yet... she opened one eye cautiously.

and there was laad governor watching her, his eyes slightly narrowed, a faint frown on, his lips pursed, with that little drag to the right.

khushi felt her heart go skittering down this time. why did this jwalamukhi have this effect on her, hey devi maiyya! it was the morning after her first night in her new home, there was so much work to be done. she had promised nani ji she'd make kheer and poori for breakfast. mami ji loved kheer, maybe it would sweeten her heart a little for jiji. and nani ji liked poori she knew. she also wanted to make jalebi for everyone especially di, and some sugar free ones for this khadoos man... khushi's eyes widened, she had to act!

she lunged toward the left, away from him, in a smart getaway move.

faster than you could blink, he had followed and was pouncing on her, stopping her from escape with a firm hold on her waist. khushi pummeled, his other arm flew  up and caught her hands... they rolled with the momentum.

neither realised they were on the pale grey carpet by now. they tussled, they fought. khushi snarled, "jaane dijiye!" asr bit her ear sharply and whispered, "get away if you can... or..." he kissed her hard where a nerve ticked on her neck, "...want to!" his voice had gone thick and humid. khushi shuddered. her hand came up to push him away but somehow that never got done.

(let me go!)

they made love abandonedly right there on the floor. an urgency overtaking, a furious yet tender love finding expression in touches, whispers, turns, reaches, holds; when she arched below him, he felt a ridiculously burgeoning gentleness and joy. when he lay by her side exhausted, she kissed him sweetly on the cheek and murmured, "hmmm..." completely happy.

"arre!" khushi squealed all of a sudden, "hum toh bistar se gir gaye!! ha-aan, hey devi maiyya! yeh kaise hua... aap kya-"

(wo! we've fallen off the bed! yes! hey dm, how did this happen... are you-)

he pulled her close and put a lazy finger on her lips,

"shh! sh... don't panic, khushi! it's okay," he said in a husky murmur. khushi gave him a sideways glance, surprised.

"achha hua hum gire!" asr suddenly chuckled, catching sight of the pink rose printed sheet.

(good thing we fell!)


*** 

"chhotey, have some breakfast and go!" nani ji called out as asr came running briskly down the stairs. he was wearing a steel grey three piece suit, his shirt was a flawless white, the single knot of his deep grey tie sat perfectly at the neck. his hair was still wet and brushed back, his stubble was smooth, his skin shone, there was a lilt in his eyes his grandmother had never seen before.

nani ji smiled to herself. chhotey was so sure he would never marry... look at him now, she thought.

"oh my hayndsome nephooj, haye daiyya!" trilled manorama from the dining table, "today youj lookings isso phits and phabulous like james bondwa, haye hello hi byebye... comes comes, lets mami put blayck tika, najar na lagey humaar bitwa ko!" she came sashaying from the dining table, resplendent in her light green paithani with gold and multi-hued peacocks all over, the ring finger on her left hand stuck out with a black smudge on it, she had quickly gathered some kohl from her eyes.

(oh my handsome nephew, my my! today you look so fit and fabulous just like james bond, sigh... come come, let your aunt put a black mark on you lest the evil eye should fall on my nephew!)

asr brushed aside her hand and said curtly, "mami, you know, main inn sab baton mein vishwaas nahin karta... nani, sorry, have to run today, I'm late... send some breakfast with khushi... mohan will take her to the office later!"

(mami, you know I don't believe in these things!)

mami ji pouted prettily, her red lipstick ashimmer. then she made a face looking at payal who was serving breakfast at the table.

"hello hi bye bye, so bhun daater in la bhurking girls, going aaphis, and bhun daater in la isstay home types! koi baat nahin, humaar saas bahu tarchur pirogramme ka liye ek hi enough howat! he he he!" she cooed.

(hello hi bye bye, so one daughter in law is a working girl and will go to the office and one daughter in law is the stay at home sort! no problem, for my daughter in law-mother in law torture programme, one is enough! he he he!)

payal looked at her mother in law startled, a little taken aback. akash sighed and gave a reassuring look to payal, then he reached out and squeezed her hand under the table. his father looked over the edge of the newspaper at his wife and muttered, "savere savere tota ke tarah saree aur baatein bhi chidiya jaisan!"

(right in the morning a parrot coloured saree and prattle like a bird too!)

mami would have snapped at her hapless husband, but one look at her mother in law told her it would be more prudent to keep her lips sealed.

nani ji smiled ever so faintly, pleased with manorama's decision.

"come on, akash!" asr said sounding impatient, "let's go!"

anjali was arranging flowers near the hall, she grinned cheekily and said, "how come you're so late today, chhotey? kya baat hai? liked the pink roses bedsheet so much... man hi nahin kiya uthne ko?"

(how come you're so late, chhotey? what's the matter? liked the pink roses bed sheet so much... didn't feel like getting up?)

"what!" asr glowered at his sister. she smiled at him broadly, looking smug.

asr shook his head as he walked up to her, "aap theek ho, di?" he asked, he needed to know she was fine. she was all right.

(are you okay, di?)

"don't try to change the subject!" anjali stuck a red rose at an angle into the crystal vase, "khushi loved the sheet... didn't she, like I said she would?!!"

there was the sound of something clattering. everyone looked up. khushi stood at the head of the stairs in a bright magenta churidar kurta with orange pompoms and silver gota, a stupefied look on her face, a tray lay on the floor, flowers scattered around it.

there was silence for a few seconds.

then asr's voice was heard, crisp and matter fact, "ah! khushi! tell di how much you liked the bedsheet, okay! I'll see you later!"

and before anyone could react, he was briskly striding down the hallway and out the door.


***

while driving to work, asr dialled home and spoke to op, "mere kamre mein bedsheet change karo! abhi! I should not see anything but white sheets on my bed, d'you understand?!"

(change the sheets in my room! now!)

akash tried to smother a smile and looked out of the window. he remembered how pretty payal had looked lying against the pale pink hue. he wished he could run away with her somewhere right now.


***

"ah, jean pierre, you're here!" asr said sauntering into kareena and salman's room.

jp and the young trainees were draping a model and talking to one of the seamstresses.

"kareena, come in later and tell me about your idea!" asr said looking consideringly at the silhouette.

"idea about..." kareena seemed to falter.

"yeah... about sex! okay?" said her boss without moving his gaze from the dress being created. then he frowned and walked out.

jean pierre looked at kareena, eyebrows raised. salman whistled. kareena threw a pencil at salman and made a face at jp.

only three months left for the show and nothing had come to kareena's mind as yet. a tasteful way to portray sex... hunger... in blooms in agung.


***


khushi walked into her office around eleven.

there was a heady fragrance in the air.

a vase with at least three dozen pink roses sat on her table. next to it lay a sprig of red frangipani on a sheet of paper.

khushi felt her breathing constrict and then catapult. on trembling legs she walked up to her desk and touched the pink petals. they were so soft. she breathed in and picked up the red frangipani, unconsciously tucking it into her plait. then she read the uneven scrawl on the sheet of paper. bold black strokes, but what did they say?

laad governor had such a terrible handwriting. she scrunched her brow and tried to read. pock leogit? huh! what?

"pack light. it's quite warm in bali now. we leave tonight," said a familiar voice.

khushi turned to stare at the door between their offices.

arnav singh raizada stood there with a lopsided smile.

 

hi everyone, this chapter was not supposed to be there. then shree10, a reader on india-forums, said something about asr khushi and the bedsheet with pink roses. she said "di ke liye," this needed to happen. i chuckled and the next thing i knew, i was thinking then writing this chapter. thank you, shree, i hope you liked what happened... and i hope you all enjoy this extra chapter. 

index

chapter 49

 

ncofl... never on a new year: chapter 4

asr felt his arms going around her slight frame and pulling her toward him, her body didn’t resist. it felt as if it moved just a fraction of a second or even a smaller count of time ahead of the pressure his palm and fingertips exerted on her back, on either side, just above the waist.

his hands settled more comfortably, his grip getting firm. he didn’t notice the lightness that came into his heart, a faint memory of a night by an ocean grazed his mind lightly. an emptiness was ebbing away, and a fullness flowed in. she moved and he felt her fingers clutch him lightly at the shoulder, he lifted her other hand and brought it without thinking to where his heart possibly beat, he held it there for an instant before sliding it up all the way to his other shoulder.

she sighed and laid her head on his chest as her hands linked behind his neck, her fingers played with his hair. he didn’t know he smiled in the dark as he stooped slightly, seeking something… at last her cheek lay against his. he felt his breath ease. he wanted her to tighten her hold on him and almost on cue she did. they swayed together in that crowded room, milling with new year’s eve revelers, barely any space to move. ne me quitte pas… don’t quit on me… don’t leave me… the song played on. he almost laughed at the corniness of it all. especially because he knew some part of him was saying those very words to this crazy funny creature in his arms, this devourer of jalebis; though thankfully, he was not singing those words, he was just yelling… not all of arnav singh raizada had been destroyed by this girl who came from nowhere one day and became part of him.

part of him. he frowned slightly. yes, he realised that was exactly what she’d become. in a little over seven months, a girl he’d never met before, had become someone he couldn’t imagine being without… ever. when she wasn’t around, felt as though something vital had gone missing. defied any rational explanation this whole thing. and he was always uncomfortable with things like that. something was decidedly odd about this situation, but right now she was pressing harder into him, and did she just moan? he really couldn’t think any more. he turned swiftly and kissed her on her mouth.

she jerked against him involuntarily, surprised by the suddenness of his kiss. he could feel his entire body respond to that, he grabbed her harder and and continued kissing her as they danced.

***

khushi felt arnav ji’s lips on hers and started. where were they? she’d almost forgotten they were at lavanya ji’s place, so lost she had been in his embrace dancing, that feeling of his prickly, scraping cheek on hers, demanding attention, loving her in its jwalamukhi, laad governor way…

“tu pagal hai!” she admonished herself, “and today you haven’t even had shawn-pan-ye!”… then her eyes widened to large circles, her breath wanted to rush in and her lips formed an immaculate “o” in her mind, even before she realised both were impossible to do since arnav ji’s lips were firmly clamped on hers and she, shameless that she was, was also kissing him back.

(you’re mad!)

also moaning.

“kya!” khush’s thoughts raced, “kitni besharam hai tu, khushi! hey devi maiyya, hume maaf kar dijiye! hum kaise behooda ban gaye hain… sab inki galati hai… nahin nahin… jhoot kaise kah sakte… hamari bhi, hamari bhi!”

(what! how shameless are you, khushi! hey mother goddess, please forgive me! how wanton i’ve become, everything is his fault… no no… how can i lie… mine too, mine too!)

“stop squawking, khushi!” asr said brusquely, freeing her lips for an instant and even before she could reply, he went back to do doing what he had been doing. khushi almost forgot all her protests, but then she closed her eyes, muttered “hey devi maiyya, hume shakti dena!” in her heart and pulled away.

(hey mother goddess, give e strength!)

“khushi!” asr sounded irate. she knew his eyes must have grown angry, darkish reddish fiery brown.

“nahin! arnav ji, sab ke saamne kaise aap humey…” she blushed even as the words tumbled out.

(no! arnav ji, how can you in front of everyone…)

“exactly! not that it matters, but really… sab… too many people…” even as asr rasped out the words through his teeth, he caught hold of her hand and started pulling her along after him, walking with a decisive air off the dance floor, which was practically the whole room by now.

“bhai!” akash called out as he spotted his cousin. his cousin didn’t turn around though, he kept walking. akash saw khushi appear after him, stumbling along. he grinned and turned back, gathering payal closer in his arms.

“hey! only half an hour to new year, nannav! eleven twenty nine… thir… hey!… where are you going?” nk looked at them surprised, he had stepped off the floor for a drink.

asr said nothing. khushi tried to stop and talk to nk, but her husband tugged her hand harder. khushi went flying and protesting after him.

lavanya appeared next to nk, she was grinning.
“what’s going on, humey kuch samandar mein nahin aa raha!” nk looked puzzled.

(what’s going on, i don’t ocean a thing!)

la pecked him on the cheek and said, “not samandar, silly, samajh… and i am so happy to see them go! i was getting worried!”

(not ocean, silly, understand.. and i am happy to see them go! i was getting worried!)

nk looked at la mystified. he was beginning to sort of like her, but she wanted her guests to leave her party! huh?!

la smiled to herself. asr never attended new year’s eve parties. never. her smile widened… she still knew the man she once had…

“how about a dance?” the voice startled la.

salman was standing before her, cool and unfazed as ever. la looked at the young man… almost a boy, she thought, must be at least five years younger than her.

she slipped easily into his arms, was slightly amused at the startled look he gave her, and then they were dancing.

nk shook his head bemused and took another sip of his drink.
deep in the middle of the floor, jostled by other dancers, jean pierre drew kareena closer and whispered, “i am glad i took your enchanting suggestion and came to india for ze new year, ma cherie.”

enchanting suggestion, kareena liked the sound of it… she felt like designing something gossamer and mysterious to that.
***

“but, arnav ji!” khushi started to demur as asr marched her to the suv and opened the door for her, clearly impatient for her to get inside.

“shh! khushi, we’ll talk later, let’s go now!” he said in a decisive tone of voice and helped her in. without waiting to hear what she had to say, he walked over to his side, got in, turned and fixed her seat belt, then his, and started the car.

khushi stared at him speechless, what was the matter with arnav ji! where were they rushing to? and now? khushi’s eyes fell on the dashboard clock… it was almost thirty five minutes past eleven. the roads were dark, dense winter fog reduced visibility, a thin film of dew had already started to settle on the windscreen. asr drove looking straight ahead, he was absolutely silent. in the dark, khushi could see his irises glitter at times.
***
“see see, i ij knowings only this years ij goings to be teep taap bootiphool, raju ji… hello hi bye bye, you don’t belieb me why? ebhen phuture-phit guru ji sayings the same!”

manorama clapped her hands in glee and gave her husband an arch look.

(see see, i know this year’s going to be beautiful, raju ji… hello hi bye bye, you don’t believe me, why? even future-fit guru ji is saying the same thing.)

they were sitting in their bedroom watching the new year’s eve programme on manorama’s favourite channel. future-fit guru ji and kamlesh khabri were her two favourite men on television. she believed everything they said. while one made her feel she had some control over what was to come, the other satisfied her craving for gossip and scandal. manorama raizada was absolutely certain that to be successful in life these things were essential; she categorised both as reliable, useful information.

her husband gave a patient smile and gingerly put an arm around his wife’s shoulder. manorama was dressed in black tonight. she had announced she knew the “sappisticate colourwa phar new yearj, hello hi bye bye,” and pulled out a remarkably gaudy black banarasi. the rich black silk had been ambushed by large clusters of silver and gold zari with a layer of bright shiny sequins. manorama contrasted the saree with an orange red blouse with large holes cut into the sleeves. a diamond and yellow gold choker, at least four inches wide, was wrapped around her neck. long shoulder dusters of diamond and gold glittered on her ears. her arms were covered in gold. 

(the sophisticated colour for new year, hello hi bye bye.)

just before sitting down on the sofa to watch television, she’d thrust her left hand out and wagged her index finger at her husband.

“ee cacktails ringwa dekhat ho? phassoniya ij my passuniya, you knowj! isspessal phar ours pribhate party i wearings hello hi bye bye!” she had said with a coquettish shake of her head and fluttering of eyelashes under heavily blue eye-shadowed lids, pointing to the garish diamond and gold ring in the shape of a pair of lips.
 
(see this cocktail ring? fashion is my passion, you know! i’m wearing it specially for our private party, hello hi bye bye!)

rajveer singh raizada watched his wife’s rapt expression and hoped fervently future-fit guru ji and kamlesh khabri and phassoniya cocktail ring had managed to make her forget that her son was at a party with his wife, the girl he loved and had chosen to spend his future with.
***

“set aside the cocktails, whisky, and other drinks, everyone… it’s champagne time! get ready for the count down!” lavanya called out cheerfully, handing out flutes of bubbly to everyone.

payal blushed as akash thrust a glass in her hand and winked at her.
***

it was almost midnight, when asr parked the car in the driveway of shantivan and alighted swiftly. he walked across, opened the door on khushi’s side, and picked her up in his arms without uttering a single word. then he began striding toward the entrance.

“aap… aap kya kar rahe hain!” khushi squealed.

(you… what are you doing!)

“shut up, khushi!” asr’s voice was curt.

was he angry? what was the matter? khushi began to feel terribly flustered.

what am i doing? what the hell am i doing? asr thought to himself… and yet he knew he had to do this, he wanted to do this dammit.

senseless, the whole thing was senseless.

it had always been, said his mind… why must everything make sense, it asked. asr shrugged off the question and walked even more briskly.
***

bedi ji, happy ji, billo mausi, her husband rajat ji, madhumati ji, and the others celebrating the coming of the new year at lakshminagar, stepped out onto the verandah shivering a little despite their woolens, and got ready with their phool jharis.

the sparklers would be lit at 12 midnight sharp. rajat bhalla tried to keep a distance from his wife, hoping she would not expect him to lift her in his arms at the auspicious hour. for the sake of his waist and back, he prayed she would get over this particular penchant of hers soon.

bedi ji blinked adoringly at bua ji in the cover of the dark.
***

“nani!” anjali exclaimed, clutching her middle.

“what’s wrong, bitiya!” hemangini singh raizada looked with concern at her granddaughter sitting on the chair next to hers.

“kuch nahin!” anjali laughed, “the baby kicked!”

(nothing!)

hemangini felt a rush of joyous excitement, she laughed a little, and unnoticed in it was perhaps a sob. her ratna’s grandchild was getting bigger and stronger every day. soon the baby would be here.
***

arnav singh raizada reached their bedroom carrying his frowning wife. he walked in and kicked the door shut, then he went up to the chaise longue by the french windows and with great care laid her down on it.

the pool outside was placid and dark, a row of blue and white fairylights glimmered on the far wall where the stairs led up to the drawing room.

khushi looked up at arnav ji, bewildered. her hair was mussed up, there was barely any trace of make up on her face. she lay there, a helpless air about her. she wondered why she felt so languid, as if even if she wanted, she couldn’t get up. was arnav ji doing some… wait a minute… jadoo tona!

(black magic!)

her eyes darted to him at the thought. he looked into her eyes with a curious smile as he bent down and took away her large snuff coloured shawl, below which of course was her yellow cardigan. he caught hold of it and peeled it off her with a no nonsense air, then he pushed her back against the sofa.

his eyes were an intense brown, khushi noted. this was jadoo of some sort, no doubt.

he leaned down again, the smallest smile playing on his lips. her eyes picked things on his face she couldn’t decipher. something wild caught at her. was there a fleck of yellow in his brown eyes?

he came closer still, she stared at his lips, that beginning of a slant.

a feeling overwhelmed her and as she closed her eyes, it was just then that his lips make contact. khushi felt her breath draw in and air hit the back of her throat.

his lips brushed hers, light and teasing and seeking what she wasn’t quite sure. he nudged against her mouth, something touched the sharp edge of her upper incisors, fluttering against the inner surface of her lip… it was his tongue.

khushi felt the languor grow, a headiness. she tilted her face up and gently licked his lips, then she ventured further… a light little nip on the lips came next. she reached up and put her hands on his cheek, pulling his face near.

his arms went around her and he began to kiss her, no more play and tease in his lips.

he still couldn’t fathom why that day he had lost control the way he had. what had stirred in him exactly as she’d lain just here, looking lost and innocent.. in that blue churidar kurta with its gota, its pompoms… her hair falling over her forehead.

that very first time he’d kissed her.

right here… on this chaise.

he had no idea also why it was important to bring her here tonight… kiss her as the new year came in.

new year meant nothing to him. no, it did actually. it meant maa would not be celebrating her birthday, again.

he held khushi tight in his arms and his mouth closed on hers. he hoped her year would be all she wanted it to be.

“you looked beautiful in blue that day,” he murmured by her ear, he had no idea how tender he sounded, he hoped he wasn’t losing his mind, “you know that was her favourite colour.”

khushi knew suddenly why he had brought her here, which day he spoke of, and who he was speaking of without having to be told.

she stroked his hair, his back and hugged him.

“aap ki amma bahut sundar thi na? neela pasand tha unhen… and why not, hai hi itna sundar rang… samandar, aasman, sab neela… aur hamare taarey…” she was smiling, he could feel her lips move against his temple, he breathed in, her musky wafting fragrance filling him. why was there a scent of frangipani he wondered. yet he knew why.

(your mother was beautiful, wasn’t she? she liked blue… and why not, it’s such a pretty colour… the ocean, the skies, all are blue… even my stars…)

“khushi, blue is the colour that least occurs in nature,” he said in a staid sort of voice, his right hand settling on her left breast. he pecked her on the soft skin of her throat, just where a pulse beat fast.

“arnav ji, humey mat sataiye!” khushi made a moue, “phir hum jon piye ji ki neeli neeli aakhon ke baarey me bahut kuch kahenge!”

(arnav ji, don’t tease me! then i’ll say a lot of things about jean pierre’s blue eyes!)

“what the!” snarled arnav singh raizada lifting his head with alacrity and glaring at her.

“rakshas, magarmach, jwalamukhi!” she threw at him, giggling.

“you’ll pay for this!” he whispered in a menacing tone. yes, there were yellow flecks in his eyes.

khushi gasped and sprang up, ready to flee.

he caught her easily and dragged her right back, she collapsed in a heap into his arms, on his lap, against his chest.

“happy new year, khushi!” he laughed and flicked her nose with a finger. his hands were already beginning to pull off her kurta.

khushi flung her arms around him and shut her eyes, “hey devi maiyya, arnav ji ko duniya ki saari khushiya dena!” she prayed to her goddess.

(hey mother goddess, give arnav ji all the happiness of the world)

“naya saal mubarak ho, laad governor… shadyantri sher!” she said by his ear and started opening his shirt buttons.

arnav singh raizada’s shoulders shook as laughter overtook him even as desire ran rampant across his body. his wife had given him a gift for new year… a new name.

shadyantri sher. scheming lion. dammit, he’d married a lunatic. he hoped she’d never change.
***

as he showered later, the agony hit him. first of january. on her last birthday, di had made maa a lemon meringue cake and nani ji as always had sent kheer and a saree from delhi. pita ji had come home late at night, but maa had waited to cut her cake with him.

he could still feel her excitement as she untied the blue strings of the present he’d given her. it was a little blue ceramic vase, for her to keep flowers on her bedside table.

he had to stop this… maudlin sentimentality had no place in his life. she was gone. that was all.

he felt a shard of pain somewhere… he couldn’t tell where exactly. he stepped out of the shower and dried himself with the large white towel.

when he came to the room he saw khushi was still fast asleep on her side of the bed. he lay down beside her and slipped an arm around her from the back. it was almost six in the morning. he’d sat quiet at the poolside for hours after she’d fallen asleep. maa had such a beautiful laugh…

as his eyes were about to close, the phone rang.

“hello?” it was a woman’s voice, “am i speaking to mr raizada… mr arnav singh raizada?”

he didn’t recognise the caller. there was a foreign lilt to her pronunciation. asr felt a sudden chill in the air.

she was his frangipani girl.

he was her jwalamukhi, sometimes he was her magarmach too.

………..........

 

index

chapter 5

stories of asr kkg index

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