Monday, 4 January 2016

not cut out for love: chapter 39




lavanya knocked on asr's door and walked in, she was in a tizzy about the pret a porter line for blooms... she was very sure the standardized sizes needed to be looked at again. the market had changed, quite drastically in fact, in the past few years. the number of young women with a taste for fashion and ready money of their own to spend had grown dramatically. this year, she had a hunch that opening up the sizes and not pushing for only the lean measurements would bring in profits. there was no need to create a separate line for the bigger women, just offer more sizes and mention it clearly in ads. but the head of design was not at all willing to listen to this...

"asr!" la started off even as she stepped into his office, "you have to speak to ashok, this cussed 'i know everything about fashion' way of his just gets me, i can't stand these 'creative' huffs!" she did the two fingers up quote sign in the air and shook her head in exasperation.

she'd expected to get an instant response from the usually very quick and alert boss of hers. but it didn't come.

lavanya frowned at the still figure sitting behind the desk staring at the computer. he had a faint smile on his lips and his eyes looked somewhat unfocused.

unfocused?

lavanya almost screamed, "asr, tum theek ho?"

(asr, are you alright...)

then it occurred to her, he was fine. he was, and this is when la's jaw almost hit the floor, day dreaming.

what!!! lavanya would have slapped herself and said, "stop hallucinating, la... asr does not do such silly things..."

she somehow controlled the urge, tossed her head and walked out of the room.

as she sashayed down the corridor toward jp's office, she heard her phone ring.

"yes?" said lavanya crisply, answering the call.

"you are right, lavanya... we'll go for the bigger sizes," came asr's voice, brusque and commanding, as usual. then the phone went dead.

lavanya wondered whether this was reassuring or totally unsettling.

she would go with jean pierre to paris she decided, she wanted to get back that feeling... that a man woman relationship could be cool, pretty casual, yet fun and plenty games. asr had actually fallen in love, she doubted she could ever do that... but she was looking forward to the wedding, she had a smashing gold tissue evening gown...


***


"aaj mausam hai suhana, kabooter ban gaya laad governor haye kya bahana, what the what the la la..." khushi traipsed into kareena and salman's room, practically dancing, huge grin on her face, prattling her nonsense song.

(today the weather is beautiful, the pigeon became lord governor what an excuse, what the what the la la...)

salman looked up from his work, "huh! what's that... pigeon ... laad governor... what... whoaaa!" the last exclamation came as khushi pulled him by the hand and drew him into a happy twirl with her... in seconds, she had left him and fallen on kareena. kareena giggled and said "hawww, what's with you, babe?" and got into a vigorous bhangra with her friend.

"yaar, you women are nuts," salman said raising his eyebrows and shrugging, "khushi, you alright?"

khushi's eyes twinkled as she let go of kareena, stood at attention, then started to march around the room yelling, "riiight, left, right, left right..."

she did a couple of rounds, then went and caught kareena in a big hug, rushing soon to salman and giving him a tight hug too.

"aapke liye itne saare jappi, salman ji, kareena ji... thank you so much for that beautiful beautiful shadi ka joda...!" she said eyes shining.

(so many hugs for you...)

"aaah, so that's the matter!" salman grinned, "see, kareena, she liked the layering of different materials which you said she wouldn't!" he threw at kareena.

"huh?! really," came kareena's retort, "what about the fine zardosi and pearls melange i created which you thought was awful but gave a richness minus heavy gooeyness...!!!"

khushi jumped in between them and yelled, "yaalgaar yaalgaar, kareena ji and salman ji are having a khatarnak war over who's a better designer... aha!" she paused, then in her quixotic way, she broke into, "aaj mausam hai suhana, war karne ka hai bahana, what the what the what the..."

(challenge! challenge! kareena ji and salman ji are having a fabulous war over who's a better designer... aha!... today the weather is beautiful, there's a reason to go to war, what the what the what the...).

laughter came to the rescue as the three of them gave in to the moment. it was obvious khushi was feeling light frothy and almost hysterically happy.

"two two weddings, ji, two two weddings... so kareena ji, you must do do double double dressing up! and salman ji, no jeans allowed, okay? shaandaar jaan lewa sherwani mein aap ekdam nawab dikhenge, nawab!"

(in a magnificent, killer sherwani you'll look like a nawab!)

"sweetheart," sighed salman, "are you for real..."

kareena said, "so you did bring back a teri meri kahani from bali, khushi... i am sooo happy," and she grabbed salman and whirled away into another round of dancing with him.



***

the watery bulging eyes looked back at asr, venom seeping into them. asr's cold brown irises gazing implacably, didn't flinch... that venom was what he had been after all along. it was the only way he'd know shyam was hurting.

shyam sat across from arnav singh raizada in the tiny room in the police station where shyam was being held at the moment. asr had no intention of marrying without fixing this problem first.

"shyam, you will understand what i just said means... you are not going to be leaving prison anytime soon. i'd say, for the next thirty odd years you'll be in jail. maybe more. depends on how many women we find out about," he said almost pleasantly.

shyam snarled.

"you will have no right over my sister's child and this you will formally assent to. furthermore, you will gain nothing from this alliance of yours, and the case against you will be not only of bigamy but a criminal charge involving the transfer of her defence colony property to your name. along with this case, lavanya will formally charge you with attempt to murder, you will be held in custody right through. don't bother to apply for bail. i will use every means in my power... fair or unfair... to make sure you never get out."

shyam looked up startled, his eyes growing hooded and even more bilious.

asr continued, unperturbed, "... unfair means being most appropriate for you and you do know in delhi how far one can go with that... of course, did i forget to mention, you will be disbarred by the law society and never practice law again..." a curious little smile played on fine lips as shyam's claw like hands clenched at this.

"you will get the maximum sentence for attempted murder and bigamy with an intent to swindling my sister. i will make sure that these two sentences do not run concurrently," asr looked at shyam keenly. his face was unmoving, hard.

"you will also be tried by women you have cheated across the world, in various cities, one by one, on charges of bigamy, felony, swindling, etc. my main contribution to your future prison terms would be ensuring they do not run together, but one after another... you know ar has a highly capable legal team, we'll work with lawyers from all the different countries and get this done, don't worry, jija ji! till now, we have located eight women you have played your sick game with. i am sure we'll unearth more..." asr paused and then leaned forward...

"i'll see you in hell, shyam manohar jha, for doing what you've done to my sister. by the end of all this, you'll wish you'd never set eyes on her. you do know how men who are a little soft and physically slight get treated by prison mates, don't you... shyam?" asr spoke slowly, deliberately.  there was a purposefulness in his tone that made the listener squirm... a slight unease rode up the back of shyam's neck, an ancient response to a sense of danger.

shyam's eyes went pebble like, dense. he was well acquainted with the state of prisons and the law and order situation within the cells.

"don't even think of bribing your way out of anything..." asr's voice had grown softer, almost whispering, ruminative, "you will be dealt with as harshly as you ought to be and i know by the end of your first term you will know exactly what hell is."

shyam tried to lunge at asr, asr drew back slightly moving out of shyam's reach.

"your discipline, law... will be used against you... you will not get away with this, shyam... if it's the last thing i do, i will get you... d'you understand?" a cold gripping anger clenched asr from head to foot. he could barely breathe.

he stood up and walked out of the room.

he had to find the woman who owned the greater kailash house. she must have been the one to call khushi... but was she innocent, or an accomplice?

he didn't hear shyam swear under his breath, "the last thing, you arrogant fool, the last thing... i am shyam manohar jha, are you trying to play games with me...!!"


***

"stop fidgeting, khushi kumari gupta," asr said as khushi shifted position again. they were lying in each other's arms on a sofa at the farmhouse. it was late evening.

it had been a long harsh day... there was the usual day to day work at ar, then the skirmishes between marketing and product over blooms in agung. and, there had been shyam.

a dark, trenchant flame still leapt in asr, a consuming lick in it.

shyam.

his teeth automatically clenched, a nerve beat at his temple, the only outward sign of agitation. he could feel fury rise in him.

aman knew a bit about what was going on, but asr had decided not to involve anyone else in this matter. he had learned very early in life to stand alone against the storms of life. to take the battering and never yield. consulting, sharing, dividing responsibility, etc., were things he neither believed in nor was good at, especially when it came to personal matters. and anything to do with di was totally personal... 

he also did not wish to put anyone in harm's way.

he knew how dangerous shyam could be.

he also knew his wife to be was capable of throwing herself right in danger's path, in fact court it practically, to save others... those she loved.

she had boarded a plane with a complete stranger and charged off to an unknown city so she could earn for her beloved jiji's dowry.

asr hugged khushi close and even while admonishing her about her constant moving around couldn't help but kiss her lightly on her head and say, "you're absolutely mad, do you know that?"

"pagal nahin toh aur kya... who else would fall in love with a magarmach," murmured khushi snuggling closer.

(of course mad, who else would fall in love with a croc...)

"hmmm... and what was that mausam hai suhana, kabooter becoming laad governor song... huh?" he teased, she was squirming again...

"what??? how do you know? have you put a detective after me! you know which saree i am seeing at a shop far away, you know what song i sing in someone else's office... chudail!" khushi tried to sit up.

(... witch!)

"yeah..." asr said huskily near her throat, and bit her playfully, "i live in the frangipani tree... though that gender... hmm" he kissed her again, "do you know you were composing the song while driving to work? you even forgot i was sitting next to you... i would rather be chudail than chidia..." he laughed out loud as khushi picked up a cushion and started hitting him with it.

(i would rather be a witch than a bird...)

khushi was breathing heavily now and laughing, her hair had come undone, at some point he had slipped off the parandi decorated scrunchy that she wore at the end of her plait and her silky straight tresses had loosened out, opened and tumbled all over.

she was wearing a pretty dark red today with a yellow and red leheriya dupatta. her skin glowed against the colour, healthy bright and alluring. her eyes shone in excitement and mirth. all he wanted to do was kiss her on that beautiful innocent cheek and play with her hair. he swallowed hard, this beautiful girl raining blows on him, he wouldn't be able to live without her. he knew that with a certainty he couldn't explain to himself.

khushi was about to hit him again when she noticed a movement at his throat. his adam's apple... it moved up, there was a pause, then it came down slowly settling. khushi paused. something about it held her attention completely. she wanted to hold that moment in her she felt...

slowly she leaned over and kissed him on his adam's apple. her eyes closed, her arms went around him and she simply lay over him feeling things she couldn't find words for. i will never let anything happen to you, she thought.

"marogi nahin mujhe?" he said his hand stroking her hair.

(won't you hit me?)

khushi felt her whole body respond to that playful teasing voice. it started as a pleasing flutter near her heart and then a clamour, a hunger thronged her. she held him tighter and with a little whimper started kissing him along the long taut column of his neck, his collarbone... an intimacy in her touch which came from deep within, without premeditation or conscious intention.

khushi clutched his collar and pushed her head against the warmth of his body, moaning slightly.

he could sense the change in her caress and his body responded, his heart beat raced, a different fire scorched... he could feel thought fade away even as he tried to hold on to it. "khushi..." he breathed out as he felt her hand slip into his waistband at the back, "darling..."

he let a languid hand catch hers and just stay there. then he pulled her closer as she lay on him, shifted a little and put his right leg over her left leg as they lay entwined. with his free hand, he stroked her back, his lips hovered and played on her hair, her forehead, he could feel his hunger grow... she sensed him it seemed for she reached up, nibbling his chin lightly, her cheek rubbing against his, her breath was uneven, he kissed her eyelids, his body pressed against the length of hers... a volley of unspoken communication exploded between two people who had met one unrecorded day in a foyer of a hotel and nothing had remained the same that moment on.

asr let his tongue trail over khushi's upper lip, a lingering, familiar touch. khushi opened her mouth, her teeth glistening pearly white against plush pale pink lips. his tongue slid over the sharp edge of her teeth, something thrilling in that... he started kissing her as he had longed to ever since they'd left the office.

yet he'd held back... he knew himself... and he knew how innocent and full of wonder the girl in his arms was. she believed, he was sure, that girls only made love to their husbands. so... he would wait... be her husband. and let her keep her dream. her illusion... yes it was certainly that it was. but he didn't want even one of her illusions to break. certainly not her dreams.

he had neither. but she would have her dreams, her illusions, her fantasies, everything always... if he could help it.

why did he even feel such ridiculous things for this girl who had just barged into his life? again, he found no answer.

her hands were now busily taking off his shirt... she was kissing him at the same time.. every nerve in his body was alive. he wanted her... now.

"khushi!" his whisper was guttural, doused in desire... his shirt lay on the floor. his hands reached out and started to take off her kurta without even asking for permission, felt like it was his right, and khushi simply sat up and let him.

her eyes called him with such plain clear love. there was no inhibition in them. she held out her arms to him, and asked to be taken into his embrace, both of them bare to the waist, only a wisp of a lacy brassiere on her still.

he closed his eyes, breathed in deeply and let her come to him.

pale ivory skin touched male brown warm torso. shuddering breath rent the air.

"arnav ji," she whispered, her eyes tightly shut, where was this feeling taking her... had she ever been here before?

her hands splayed across his back, her belly rubbing against his skin, she had never ever felt such a sensation. she was almost naked. yet it felt right.

so terribly right.

his fingers rode lightly across her back and when they came to her bra strap, they unclasped the hook, knowing that is what she was waiting for, she wanted. he could feel her breasts move as they were freed of the tie. a terrifying tenderness overcame him... he swallowed hard again.

this beautiful woman.

she was holding him with urgent hands and kissing him now... her body thrust against him. he could feel himself going over an edge. her hand explored his upper thigh...

he pushed her away before he lost all control.

she looked at him dazed.

he smiled tightly and kissed the tip of her nose.

then without a word, he helped her into her bra and her kurta, lay the dupatta with extraordinary care over her shoulders and hugged her.

"you are mine, always, samjhi tum?"

again that unspoken wave of communication. khushi nodded against his chest. i can't live without you, arnav ji, she thought.

while shrugging into his shirt, he smiled a little arrogantly and said, "why can't you resist me, khushi?"

khushi realised she had been staring, she made a face and threw a cushion at him, it missed him and fell into the urli full of red frangpani.


***


"meh mehhh!" bleated lakshmi ji walking into nani ji's bedroom.

"kya baat hai, lakshmi? why are you so talkative in the evening suddenly?" nani ji looked up from the tray on which she was arranging all the many things needed for the wedding ceremony. purohit ji had given an exhaustive list and now that two of everything were required, it was best to start preparing early and avoid confusion at the auspicious hour.

(what's the matter, lakshmi, why are you so talkative in the evening today?)

"ratna, chhotey is getting married... i hope i have done right by your children, we are trying so hard to keep anjali safe, i really don't know how i couldn't tell... that... damad ji..." she was in the middle of her quiet talk with her herself and her child when her pet goat pranced in.

lakshmi ji ran to nani ji and reached over swiftly, picking up a betel leaf from the tray and chomping on it fast.

nani ji frowned. this was not like her at all. and lakshmi must have just had dinner. even while nani ji pondered worried, lakshmi grabbed another betel leaf and ate it up.

why was she so upset nani wondered.

***

"ee dekhau, humaar sanka devi ke vaaste toh humaar saadi ka joda hai hi, nand kissore, ooka haldi ke liye... par payaliya, my darling one, where will i find a lehenga for you now?" bua ji wailed.

(just look, i have my wedding lehenga for the goddess of craziness, nand kishore, for her turmeric ceremony... but payal dear, my darling one, where will i find a lehenga for you now!)

this sudden burst of emotion out of the blue had everyone flummoxed for a moment. then khushi's voice was heard loud and clear, "oh ho buaji, don't worry for nothing, you know... we can both get into your saadi ka lehenga and still there will be space..."

she giggled and jumped around her bua ji.

"haink! mazaak karat hau, apni bua ki sizewa lekar aisan kahat ho... hai re nand..." bua ji wailed higher still...

(what! you're making fun of me, saying such things about your aunt's size... oh lord nand...)

as garima cut in, "khoosie! does anyone speak like that to an elder...!!"

unfazed, khushi danced some more and hugged her aunt, "sabse bada sizewa hai kisska pata hai, bua ji?" she asked and made silly funny faces at her glowering aunt.

(you know what has the largest size?)

then she fell on madhumati ji again, and yelled, "aapke dil ka, bua ji.. itna bada xxxl dil toh kissi ka ho hi nahin sakta... ussi liye thoda bada lehenga chaiye tha... samjhi aap?

(your heart, bua ji! such a large xxxl heart no one can have... which is why you need a slightly larger lehenga... d'you understand?)

"titaliya," beamed her bua, om locket stuck on a fold of sumptuous neck, "tum kitni sararti ho gayi ho... aur bhi zyada... kaa baat hai, mohabbat ho gayi hai na babua se?"

(butterfly mine, you have become so naughty, even more so, what's the matter... fallen in love with sonny boy, is it?)

billo mausi simpered and sighed at that. her hand automatically reached for her pins.

shashi gupta saw that and smiled a little, behen ji had been behaving rather strangely of late, but he was happy her mood had lifted. he had just called rajat ji and invited him to come for the wedding, it would be a nice surprise for billo behen ji.

payal blushed a full happy red and looked down, her ears flaming. she was horrified, what was happening to her.

khushi thought of the way she had felt just a while back and said, "nahiin, bua ji... it's all jadoo tona... xxxl jadoo tona...," caught hold of her jiji's hand and ran off with her into their bedroom.

(noo, bua ji... it's all black magic...
xxxl black magic...)

"
xxxl jadoo tona? hai re nand kissore!" came buaji's lusty exclamation.

"devi maiyya raksha karna!" replied khushi still laughing giddily.


***

it was early morning, the clock in bua ji's living room was about to strike seven when the phone rang.

it was sunday, no office today, who could it be, khushi wondered as she struggled to wake up and answer the phone.

then her heart beat went haywire... was it arnav ji?

she grabbed the phone and whispered, "haylow!"

the voice she heard made her heart go still and very very cold.

Sunday, 20 December 2015

not cut out for love: chapter 37





"why, arnav ji? why can't i love someone else?" khushi whispered trembling all over. her acidity had spiraled out of control. she was holding the espresso maker so tight, its heat was transmitting through her skin permeating to a place in her chest somewhere. hey devi maiyya, what sort of acidity was this!

his eyes went molten brown, a fire leaping in them. he leaned toward her, in his hand a large blood red frangipani, and as she watched terrified, he smiled that heart constricting smile with a gradient, then tucked the flower in her plait and whispered,

"because i love you, dammit!"

gently, hoarsely, helplessly, laughing just a little bit.

khushi leapt up, clapping her hands on her ears... tight.

"hey devi maiyya, raksha karna!" she yelped.

payal, who was sleeping next to her, woke up with a start and stared aghast, what was wrong with khushi?

"khushi! khushi! kya baat hai... are you alright?!" payal said urgently.

(khushi! khushi! what's the matter? are you alright?)

khushi looked around disoriented... where was the man with that warm searing breath? that fatal slant of lips? where was the coffee? the frangipani? the fire in the brown eyes?

"huh?!! kahan gaye sab?" khushi mumbled, her hand going to her chest...

(huh?!! where have they gone?)

oh no, the acidity was still there.

what had arnav ji said last night??... no no last evening...

where were her flowers? she looked around dazedly and got out of bed in a rush. she went straight to devi maiyya sitting on the desk, right next to the little deity lay a bunch of red, blood red flowers with beautiful velvet petals. khushi's eyes hovered over them... fascinated and a little frightened. the dhakdhak raced faster. had arnav ji really said he... he...? she couldn't complete the thought. she clutched her head, what was wrong with her! khushi told herself to stop being silly... she could do this.

had arnav ji really said he loved her?!!! no, he'd said he loved her dammit!

there, she had said it. she knew she could do it.

the next instant she was doubling over and clutching her stomach... everything was hurtling in her... so fast, merciless really.

how could that laad governor say such a thing! he said anything he felt like saying. never thought of what might happen to the person before him... always ordering, always commanding... always...

and yet... and yet... a little smile started peeping at her lips.

payal stared puzzled and worried at her younger sibling. this was a sure and utter attack of sanak, but usually they didn't last this long, nor did she double over like that. she must have eaten something payal thought getting out of bed herself and walking over to khushi. 

khushi definitely had something that didn't agree with her.

"kya hua, khushi? stomach ache? have some ajwain? ajwain is very good for all this..."

(what's the matter, khushi? stomach ache? have some oregano? oregano is very good for all this...)

"nahiiin jiji! i am okay," khushi gasped, now walking toward the bed, still bent over, "this is not going to go away for a while... or maybe my whole life i will have to suffer..." she muttered, wincing.

"yes, my whole life..." khushi murmured again. then she grinned suddenly and clutched her stomach tighter.

payal scolded her, "stop this drama, my pyaari drama queen, you are getting married in a couple of days, learn to behave a little sanely... once in a way... okay!!" she smacked khushi playfully on her knee and went to freshen up.

"married?!! oh no, hey devi maiyya, raksha karna!" khushi held her middle and went breathless.

(oh no, devi maiyya, save me!)

it seemed to her that in very slow motion he moved closer and closer till his lips were right by her left ear. then his hand moved up and touched the pearls at the nape of her neck, his fingers spread out, caressing her skin, lingering over her back, stroking her along her spine all the way down to her hip.


***

asr stood before the pool gazing at the water. his eyes were still, glassy. his mind was clearly elsewhere. he was missing her. her funny smile, her off centre plait, her trembling breath as he had drawn near to tell her he loved her.

asr's irises concentrated into pinpoints.

love. yes, he had said he loved her. he hadn't asked himself to say it... yet he had wanted to.

why?

what was this love anyway?

a face floated up out of nowhere. gentle, smiling, wise. maa.

asr shut his eyes. that familiar pain when he thought of his mother... he braced himself to face it. yet, all he could see was her smiling face. the pain never came.

instead, he again thought... what is love?

his mother seemed to smile a little wider and then she was gone.

he had given khushi maa's pearls. why did he like that feeling? he wanted to touch the pearls nestled against her skin, he wanted to bury his face in her hair, a scent of frangipani seemed to reach him from a memory miles and miles away.

dammit, he missed her. where was she? he wanted her here, next to him, in his bed, waking up beside him every damn morning of his life. and to hell with that word love, whatever it was.

he loved her... bas.

and she... it seemed... loved him too. his head lifted, a triumphant glitter in his eyes for an instant.

"op!" he yelled, "where's my coffee?!"


***


he was buttoning his grey linen waistcoat with a distracted air when anjali hobbled slowly into his room.

"chhotey, i was saying," she had just started when he whipped around focusing suddenly...

"di!" he sounded worried, "why did you bother to come, should have called me..."

he walked swiftly forward to hold her and tried to get her to sit down.

"chhotey," anjali sounded exactly like an elder sister handling a not too bright younger sibling.

"i am fine, there's nothing wrong with me... you know, girls don't think of pregnancy as a debilitating condition... i am fine," she was laughing at him.

an innocent, beautiful young woman, with a frail air and a beaming smile, who had really never done anyone any harm. in fact, if anything, she had been handed a nasty serve by life, given a limb that would never do her bidding, always make her slow down, limp, hurt, be viewed as handicapped... less.

asr looked at his sister in her immaculate sage green maheshwari saree, with a neat narrow border in dark grey, her delicate gold necklace with little jade motifs that she had told him to buy on his last visit to shanghai... he recalled she'd given him the boutique's name and number and emailed him the picture of what she wanted.

how well it suited her. and of course she had bangles up to her elbows almost and the palest most fresh looking make up on, her hair was brushed till it gleamed. nothing about her said just a few days ago, calamity had walked into her life.

di.

asr felt his lips stretch in a tight smile.

life was not fair. it never was. you had to hold it by the horns and yank it to do your bidding. yield. left to itself, all it threw at you was sorrow, betrayal, hardship... what had di done that she should have been treated like this? but he would make sure nothing ever harmed her. he would. yes, he hadn't realised what a piece of scum that shyam was, but no more. no one was going to mess with his sister anymore.

he felt a funny sadness in him... he had not yet told her about shyam's multiple marriages.

"okay, i came to tell you, chalo na kuch karte hain, let's get the family to agree to get akash and payal married along with you too. i know, it will be a little hard for both the families, but you know, i really think akash bhai wants to get married as badly as you do," anjali smiled and then made a face as if trying not to smile, her hand coming up to cover her lips...

(okay, i came to tell you, come let's do something, let's get the family to agree to get akash and payal married along with you too...)

asr said curtly, "me? what nonsense, di! marry badly... you know what i think of marriage..."

"haan haan, mere chhotey bhaiyya, hum jaantey hain," di giggled, "hum sab kuchh jaantey hain..."

(yes yes, my little brother, i know... i know everything.)

he reached out involuntarily and touched her shoulder. "di," his whispered interjection was out before he could stop himself.

"chhotey?" anjali was instantly alert, "kya baat hai? are you alright?"

(what's the matter? are you alright?)

he stood there without saying anything for a long moment, then he led her to the chair by the poolside and made her sit down. he sat across from her and held her hand.

"chhotey, stop getting me worried! tell me what's wrong!" anjali was beginning to get the feeling something was awfully wrong.

"i don't know how to tell you this..." asr gripped di's hand tighter, "but shyam is more of a ..." he clenched his teeth, words that would aptly describe shyam went through his head, but he couldn't say them in front of his sister.

"anyway..." he made up his mind to tell her, "di, shyam has married several women it seems, and... at the same time... cheating on all of them... he's a..." asr paused for a moment before continuing, "...bigamist, di."

he looked at anjali's face with a keen intent gaze. how would she take this?

anjali had a stricken look in her eyes. she sat still.

"di! di!.." asr called urgently, "don't worry, i'll take care of everything... that.. that... no, he will not bother you ever again. and di, i promise you, you will be alright, you will be happy again..."

without even thinking about it, he drew her into his arms.

she was his responsibility and he had... not been able to do what he was supposed to. the words he used to describe that in his head also he wouldn't say in her presence.

she was delicate... she was inherently decent, well bred. he was wild, curt, foul tongued, badtameez. she was his whole world and he had f...

her hand felt tender and gentle against his cheek. she stroked it in her loving way, her face buried in his shoulder. he gathered her closer still.

"chhotey, is anything real in this world?" at last she spoke and it was a question that splintered something in him. di was hurting badly. he couldn't do a thing about it.

again, without any thought, just an instinct, he held her tighter, then took her hand and laid it on her stomach, where he assumed babies grew... and said,

"i don't know, di... but this is, isn't it?"

anjali stayed where she was, but he could feel her hand settle on her stomach and hold.


***


kareena had come into the office early, before the traffic got thick and stymied her efforts to be on time. for time was a precious commodity now. the show was round the corner... in the middle of that asr had ordered that shadi ka joda for khushi... they'd had barely three days to get it together, from concept to finishing, not a sequin out of place.

which was fine. exhilarating actually.

oh, khushi would be so thrilled with the lehenga and velvet choli. kareena smiled in a satisfied way, salman had said, "layers!" and she had shouted "velvet" during the brain storming. jean pierre's eyes had gone even more blue as he'd grinned and said, "ah ze feel of eet, you are feeling eet wiz your emotion, passion... organic... vehy good..."

jean pierre's eyes were so blue, kareena's dark irises sparkled suddenly. then she berated herself, you are not here early to think of jp's eyes, you are here to work, she told herself... asr's other, more challenging project was still waiting to be cracked. not much time left.

sex.

present sex tastefully and capture that sense of ravenous in blooms in agung.

how... how, kareena darling, how... kareena went characteristically theatrical as she mulled over the problem.

blooms in agung. volcano. raging. flower. delicate. soft. but tough? kareena's mind started to jump to random words evoked by the name of the show and ravenous.

fire passion seething lava flow burn scorch consume hunger desire thirst petals curling seizing heart of a flower pollen pollination bees birds consuming churning flowing rage seizing gorging arousal frenzy conflagration calm...

her mind skimmed over the words, then returned to hound them for meaning... an idea.

kareena paced the room frantically as she thought. nothing. she stopped in her tracks and picked up her phone and went to her playlist... yes there was the song that just might release the thoughts...

it was her current favourite. andrea bocelli's con te partiro, the orignal italian version.

she didn't understand most of it... which was what made her want to hear it more. the low almost whispered first notes came pouring out, kareena let all rational thought fall away as she lifted her arms and started swaying to the music.

soon she was dancing.

"may i intehhupt, cherie?" it was jean pierre, he was standing at the door, watching kareena with an earnest air, but she could tell he was amused.

she froze. her arms were up in the air in a ballerina like pose or so she had decided. the blush came fast and pretty furious, her ears and cheek had turned a mottled beetroot shade in an instant.

"er!" she said looking desperately for an interesting excuse.

"exactly...!" said jean pierre, "maybe you'd like to tell me what it is that is making you loosen your feet... losing your 'ead over someseeng, kaheena..?"

kareena liked the way he destroyed all "r"s, it was like a french revolution against the very sound itself... and the poor r came out so vanquished, soft and sexy...

sex.

"sex!" she said clearly

jean pierre's eyes widened... "aah, i get eet... yes, zat does make one lose one's 'ead... and ozzer seengs..." he murmured with a very french shrug.

"no... i mean not that sex.." kareena quickly explained, going even more red, "i mean... asr wants a delineation of ravenous for blooms in agung as you know... well i said ravenous reminded me of several things... he chose sex... i have to now express it... tastefully..." kareena's brow grew lined and heavy as she spoke... how was this going to get done?!! ever.

jean pierre laughed and said, "ahhh ahhnav... naughty... but smart... keheena, i like ze song, i like ze dance... eet will come along..."

"but... but... i was just dancing and listening to my favourite song for some inspiration... didn't mean to... oh my g... jp..." kareena shrieked as she realised what he said made perfect sense.

she flew across the room and threw her arms around him and hugged him tight, "you are a genius..."

"that i 'ave to agree i am," jean pierre grinned, "and you are lovely to 'old."

kareena blushed again.

jean pierre gave her a little wink and left the room.


***

payal had a bemused smile on her face as she wiped the stainless steel plates and laid the table for breakfast. how sweet akash had been yesterday... her heart felt a nervous flutter as she remembered their date. who would have thought akash could be so... mmm... payal gazed out of the window dreamily and thought... romantic. yes, so romantic.

"hai re nand kissore, ee dekho... ee dekho nand kissore. what is an old aunt to do if both her nieces turn out to be mad. there's sanka devi, never was she ever sane.. and now payaliya!!!" bua ji's stentorian voice made payal jump.

(oh lord nand kissore, just see... just see nand kissore.)

"ha-aan... bua ji?" payal mumbled.

(yes, bua ji?)

"haan nahiiin, payaliya, nahiin...nahiiin... naaahin! who serves pooris, nand kissore, before frying them...!!" bua ji yelled, nodding her head vehemently at the plates and gesticulating wildly for good measure. her red towel was tied around her head. her long plait swung as she charged forth.

(not yes, payal, no... no... nooo! who serves poories, oh lord nand kishore, without frying them...!!)

payal looked around the table horrified. she had absentmindedly picked up the platter with the pooris that amma had just rolled out and served them... uncooked... to everyone.

payal drew in her breath sharply. what was wrong with her!

"theek hai theek hai, don't worry, i'll fry them now... jiji... go sit down, you don't look too well..." garima came hurriedly into the room having heard her sister in law's voice. payal was looking nonplussed, almost ashen.

(it's alright alright... don't worry, i'll fry them... jiji... go sit down, you don't look too well...)

"payal bitiya, go lie down, i think you need a little rest," garima said anxiously and started collecting the pooris from the plates.

billo mausi gave an arch look from the sofa, her smile spread wide... "this is what happens when children cross all limits... hoonh... sweetheart! what would everyone in gomti sadan say if they heard!" she muttered to herself.

though how exactly people in lucknow would get this specific news from delhi she didn't ponder too hard. there is a whole news network around the globe which doesn't depend on the usual media channels. paper, tv, internet, nothing... all it relies on is a bit of neighbourly love, some rigorous nosiness, and perhaps just a pinch of joy at others' misfortune. the power of this network is formidable.

billo mausi gave a big happy grin, said "arri o payal beta, go go, lie down, must look pretty for khushi beta's wedding, na?" and went back to reading her book, the latest romance in hindi by her favourite author.

khushi ran into the room at that moment and deposited her cloth bag on the table while talking nonstop, "amma amma! i am hungry... my breakfast... i need to eat right now, arnav ji will be here any minute...! billo mausi, are you reading radha mohan ji's latest book? preeto loves his stories... in the last one when the hero died, she cried for days! pagal ladki, i told her, it's just  a story, but would she listen... billo mausi, are you crying? aap bhi????"

(mad girl, i told her, it's just a story, but would she listen... billo mausi, are you crying? you too???)

"hai re nand kissore!" wailed bua ji, "sanka devi, will you pause to take a breath at least! how much you talk!"

"hungry, bua ji, i am hungry!" khushi hugged her aunt and jumped up and down a couple of times.

just then a white suv turned the corner and came silently up along the lane in front of bua ji's house and parked just before it.


***


billo mausi flopped onto the easy chair in the verandah looking glum. today, khushi beta's young man... her mind leapt in and amended, "handsome young man!" yes yes that, mausi did a moue and tucked a silver pin, handsome young man didn't even get out of the car... no smile on his face, only his big dark sunglasses... no carrying sharrying, not even a little hand holding and pulling. very sad, what was the point then in getting ready so early, thinking he might see her, say "namaste" in that curt way of his. such a waste.

"behen ji, urmila behen who lives in the second lane, is going to see salman ji's latest picture again, nand kissore, would you like to go?" madhumati ji was standing in front of her with an encouraging smile, hand on chin.

billo mausi was despondent. "nahin, behen ji, today i have a little gas ki problem, let it be..."

(no, sister, today i have a bit of acidity, let it be...)

bua ji turned away and rolled her eyes, muttered "nand kissore" under her breath and left. her ploy to get billo ji out of the house when the raizadas came in the evening to give khushi's shadi ka joda had just failed.


***

"seat belt," asr said grimly as he started driving.

khushi felt her insides trip into a rapid dhakdhak and settle after a bit. she fumbled with the seat belt. he didn't help nor take his eyes off the road.

what was the matter with him? he hadn't looked at her or smiled or even stepped out to open the door for her which he always did. he just sat there looking ahead, not a muscle on his face moved. he seemed somehow dark and more forbidding than usual despite his gleaming white shirt.

khushi looked at him sideways.

that's it. it was all a dream. he hadn't said what she thought he had last evening... "because i love you dammit!"... khushi's dhakdhak raced for an instant. she gripped the armrest and tried to stop it.

"ha ha ha ha! how would this man say such a thing! khushi kumari gupta, tu pagal hai, samjhi tu? look at him... patthar jaisa, gussewala, kala chashma, not the tiniest curve to his lips... can't even turn his head, so stuck up he is, akkad!!!... how can he... he of all people, our royal highness the laad governor magarmach himself ever say such a thing to you? pagal hai, khushi tu, you hear anything you want to..."

(ha ha ha ha how would this man say such a thing! khushi kumari gupta, you are mad, d'you understand? look at him... stone like, angry, dark glasses, not the tiniest curve to his lips... can't even turn his head, so stuck up he is, stuccckkk uppp... how can he... he of all people, our royal highness the lord governor crocodile himself ever say such a thing to you? you're mad, khushi, you hear anything you want to...)

khushi said to herself.

then she replied to herself too.

"hey devi maiyya, want to? why should i want this... this suited booted shaitan to say such a thing to me? i am really mad... bas. i don't want, okay... don't want..."

"but i do," her leaping thought exploded near her heart and made her clutch the seat belt silently.

she turned and stared at him then. what was the matter with him? something was clearly wrong.

"i told di," he said, still looking at the road. khushi felt an avalanche hit her. such absolute despair in his voice.

she had no idea what had transpired between di and arnav ji, but she knew what she wanted to do, had to do.

"stop the car," she said quietly, "please, arnav ji, gari rokiye..."

his head turned for an instant as he looked at her... she couldn't see his eyes but she felt the car begin to slow down. she exhaled and realised she had been holding her breath.

he parked by the kerbside and just sat there. khushi touched his shoulder lightly and waited a moment.

something seemed to give inside him. he swiveled and reached out with both arms... she made sure she was there before his arms had to search or wait.

he held her with all his might and khushi could feel her rib cage ache as she arched across the space that separated their seats, the gearbox jutting in between. but she had to get closer and let him have what he needed... he needed her right now, she knew that clearly. khushi swallowed hard as his pain began to leach into her.

she stroked his hair, his back and prayed to devi maiyya to make him feel better. his breath was hot and torn and scorched her neck. khushi moved her head and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. his stubble scratched, a familiar soothing assurance in it... he was here, with her, she would not let anything hurt him... khushi felt a surge of thoughts she'd never had coming, but didn't stop them... she closed her eyes and kissed him again.

they had no idea when they'd both turned and were kissing each other, lips moving, seeking, soothing, teasing, playing, demanding, acquiescing, desiring, needing and never ever wanting the touch to end, the joining to sunder.

a bright morning outside careened past, noisy traffic, dust rising in the air, a busy metropolis on its way to work, school, market, who knows where.

his tongue was playing with hers now, his arms were now more tender, her hands sensed his shoulders were less tense. she drew away and peered at his face, it was looking not that stone like. khushi smiled a little.

"khushi," he murmured, protesting and leaned forward to kiss her again.

it was after a while that he spoke next.

"what has my sister done, khushi, that she has to suffer so much?" khushi felt like crying when she heard him say this with that sadness in his voice.

"and you know, i thought, i could take care of her, make everything okay... after... after... my parents... i really thought... that i could make it all okay for her... i would protect her... no matter what.. heck, i thought it this morning too... i would... but i couldn't, could i?... i just couldn't," his lips were set tight, his breath shuddered as he said the last words.

"nahin, arnav ji, " khushi cut in... "don't think like that... you have not failed... you have done your best always... i know that... i just know that... and babu ji always says, that is what we can do and must do... our best... if you have done that, you've done all you could and there is never failure then... today it seems like that... but, arnav ji... i will not hear you say that about yourself... samjhe aap?"

khushi had no idea her voice had gone more and more urgent as she'd spoken, till she was sounding quite loud and stern. but at her "samjhe aap," her senses seemed to pick on something and she shut up, horrified. hey devi maiyya, she had just shouted at arnav ji and that too while he was in such a sad state. but that was the whole point. she hated to see him like that. and now she'd made it worse, soon he'd be yelling at her.

asr sat looking at the girl in light green and yellow and sizzling silver gota before him, her eyes were fiery a moment ago and her voice had moved from mellifluous to militant just now. she was breathing fast at this moment, looking fixedly at the stick shift gear.

she was startled when she felt his hand hover over her cheek, was he going to slap her?!!! no... it was the tenderest sweetest slightest little stroke by long fingers with slightly rough, calloused skin as he pushed her stray tendril of hair back and tucked it behind her ear.

khushi's eyes moved and clung to his face, his lips had started to curve, no... they were slanting... slowly but surely, almost enjoying their climb. arnav ji was smiling, her heart leapt.

"pagal!" he said softly, it felt like a caress on her skin... she was sure this was jadoo tona, his voice actually touched her, aroused, loved.

"laad governor kahin ke!" she whispered back, eyes wide staring openly at him.


***


nani ji was resplendent in a white chikan saree edged with jaalis in gold along the border. mami ji managed to look almost pleasant in a vivid red, it was a paithani this evening. anjali was enchanting in her pale blue organza. bua ji beamed at the ladies as she opened the door, such a beautiful family her nieces were going to be part of. their generous nature and good breeding were written across their faces.

"hello hi bye bye!" said mami ji's sharp voice, dispelling the illusion in one stroke, bua ji blinked, "bhere eej that too issmart niece oph yourj, hoonh! now she eej too shy to openwa door, bhen she openly doingj all theengj to be dones behinds closed doorj!"

(hello hi bye bye, where's that smart niece of yours, huh! now she's too shy to open the door when she openly does all those things meant to be done behind closed doors!)

bua ji gawked.

anjali went still.

"manorama!" nani ji said sharply.

mami ji did a lip shimmy, left right left right left, very quickly.

but billo mausi had heard the words and her ears did perk, her heart did leap... ah, could it be for joy?

when anjali handed over the shadi ka joda on a beautifully decorated tray wrapped in silver foil and tied with strings of gold gota, both bua ji and garima ji almost started crying. weddings were such emotional things. even mama ji and shashi ji felt something. what really happens when two people, from two different families, marry... how it changes everything.

shashi ji hoped khushi bitiya would be happy, loved, protected and would take care of the family she had decided to make her own. mama ji hoped the girls coming to their family would find happiness with them and settle down well. he also prayed his wife would take to payal, sooner rather than later.

shadi ka joda. just three simple pieces of garment, yet so much was wrapped in it, most of all the thought... the moment is here.

khushi stared at the tray, her mouth went dry.

had arnav ji chosen her joda? maybe not. he didn't like to go on shopping sprees and plus he liked fashion... not traditional wedding things. maybe nani ji and di had chosen it. khushi smiled brightly and went and touched all the elders' feet. payal followed suit.

"bhy touchings my pheetwa bhen you actually likes holdings my poor bitwa's handwa, hello hi bye bye, you bads girls," mami ji suddenly snarled before anyone coud stop her.

(why are you touching my feet when you actually like holding my poor son's hand, hello hi bye bye, you bad girl.)

payal looked aghast, tears springing to her eyes. the entire room drew in a sharp breath.

surprisingly, it was mama ji who spoke then, "manorama, please don't create a scene now," he said with quiet authority to his wife, after which he turned to his hosts and smiled slightly, "shashi ji, garima ji, madhumati hji, i think our children are ready to get married ..."

"yes yes! ekdam ji ekdam, huh, i heard how they're saying "sweetheart, sweetheart" already ji! very bad very bad!" came billo mausi's voice now, a little tart, a little jaunty.

in the silence following that, troubled looks were exchanged... payal ran out of the room.

"haan ji," mama ji was cool despite the interruption, "that's why, we... all of us... feel, if you don't mind, we would like to take payal bitiya home sooner than we had planned..."

"i know it is difficult and maybe we are being a bit demanding," nani ji said, stepping in graciously into the difficult conversation, "but we think our akash bitwa is very keen to marry bitiya, and she is so lovely, we can understand his rush..." mami ji whimpered and looked as if she'd explode any second. nani ji glared at her and continued unfrazzled, "so we were proposing that we get them all married on the same day, that is this coming monday... all our children would be happy then, and we would also have double the reason to celebrate..."

billo mausi almost fainted. anjali clapped her hands and burst into a big smile.

"chacha ji, chachi ji, bua ji... haan kar dijiye na!" she said without guile. her eyes shone. khushi took one look at everyone's face and had a feeling she knew what was coming... she ran out too and went to their room, where she knew jiji was sitting and feeling miserable.

(chacha ji, chachi ji, bua ji... pleases ay yes!)

a sense of brewing storm abated, instead a feeling of wonder floated around the quiet sitting room.

"hai re nand kissore, saadi ka mahaul hai, why such silence all around... hum kya aap ko kabhi naa bol sakat hai, nand kissore? aap badi hain, behtar jaanti hain!" bua ji beamed at nani ji and folded her hands.

(hai re nand kissore, it's a time of wedding, why such silence all around? can we ever say no to you, nand kissore? you are our elder... you know better!)

following her lead, shashi ji and gariima ji also smiled... their heads were no doubt spinning but the beautiful elder who had proposed the idea brought such a sense of calm with her...

"of course, if you agree, we will be ever grateful... and don't worry, hum dilli mein itne saal bitaayen hain, do shadi ka intezaam toh hum do dino mein karwa hi sakte hain... hum lucknow ke hain, hain na?" nani ji smiled.

(of course, if you agree, we will be ever grateful... and don't worry, after all these years in delhi, we can manage to arrange two weddings in two days... after all, we're from luckno , aren't we?)

a little laughter and relief started to enter the conversation.

"i won't say we are completely comfortable about this whole thing, but if you're saying this, ji... we are sure this is a wise thing to do... but really, what gives me peace, endless peace, is knowing that my daughters will be going to a home where someone as gracious and kind as yourself is head of family," shashi gupta said.

anjali instantly picked up her phone and said, "mohan ji, please come!"

within minutes, mohan, their driver, entered bearing a large tray wrapped in silver and gota...

"shashi ji, garima ji, please accept this shadi ka joda for your payal bitiya, anjali bitiya went out and chose it herself. of course, we don't want her to miss out on all her wedding related ceremonies, so if you don't mind, tomorrow we'd like to have you over for a small havan, akash bitwa would like to give her a ring at the time."

anjali smiled and looked down, her eyes had filled with tears but no one could see, her voice was strong and even as she said, "haan, shadi is not a game, every part of this ceremony is meaningful, i hope payal likes what i chose."

garima ji gave up trying to control her tears and started weeping.


***

asr was immersed in his laptop, frowning as usual, lips pursed and thrust forward... the buyers from england were becoming too unreasonable, something had to be done...

he heard the door open suddenly making a loud noise and looked up. irritated.

"what the!" was out of his lips before he saw who it was.

khushi stood there, in a dark green chiffon saree, her hair was open and hung to nearly her hips, she looked flushed and excited, the ruby on her finger glowed even more red against the green she wore.

"you did it! you did it!" she said and came running to him.

he got up slowly, a tad puzzled, "what, what did i do, khushi kumari gupta?" he asked, a slightly indulgent look had come into his eyes.

"but before that, it's late, how did you come here?" he said.

"i came by auto!" khushi replied.

"auto! this time of the night? pagal ho gayi ho kya, what's wrong with you?" the change in tone was mercurial, he was shouting at her, eyes blazing.

(auto! this time of night? have you gone mad, what's wrong with you?)

khushi almost jumped back in fright. then she held the edge of his desk with shaking fingers, steadied herself and retorted, "yes, i am mad, that i love you and that too so much and i want to come and talk to you and thank you for getting my jiji and akash ji to marry on the same day as us and for handling everything and for making sure di is smiling, yes she was smiling and that too a big huge real smile, laad governor ji, not a fake smile when i saw her just half an hour ago when she gave jiji her shadi ka joda and also i am mad because i wanted to come and tell you i love the lehenga and choli and dupatta you had jon piye ji, salman and kareena make for me, i spoke to kareena, and yes i am also mad because i never seem to understand what will make you shout next and because..."

"shhh!" asr had walked up to her and was holding her in his arms by then, looking at her with the most shining brown eyes ever, smiling devilishly, "don't get so angry with me... main aisa hi hoon, khushi! but you... you're beautiful..."

(don't get so angry with me... i am made this way, khushi! but you... you're beautiful...)

his lips just had to find hers then and how could she say anything to him, though he was so very difficult to handle, khushi kissed him hungrily, she had felt such a crazy sense of pleasure as she had seen the shadi ka joda... one look at it and she'd known her rakshas had something to do with it, everything to do with it. every detail spoke of him, and it said every time, he wanted her... he loved her, he was waiting to make her his. khushi sighed against his lips and spread her fingers flat on his back drawing him closer.

he lifted her in his arms and went and sat on his chair and continued to make love to her. his lips moved along her throat, where the pulse beat at the base he lingered and kissed her again and again, tiny featherlight gossamer kisses, she thought she heard him moan, her stomach flipped at the sound, she clutched his shoulder with one hand, she ran the fingers of her other hand through his thick, springy hair. she could feel his entire body taut and urgent against hers. love me, she wanted to say, always hamesha, never ever leave me.

"khushi!" he whispered, his lips trailed down over her chest to her breast, her hand came up and caught his guiding it to the front of her blouse, telling him tacitly to undo the buttons. she started opening his shirt buttons, she could hear his breath go uneven, she knew she was hardly breathing any more.

her hands pushed aside the white linen and touched the bare skin of his chest... khushi kissed him and lay her cheek against his cool skin. arnav ji's heart was just here, somewhere below her cheek, khushi closed her eyes and let the enormous peace of that feeling seep in.

but where was there any time for peace when gentle rough fingers caressed and teased the small of her back, her breasts, when her body tensed and flinched and longed to that touch. his fingers moved away suddenly and she shivered feeling cool air on her skin, the next moment, it was warmth all over. his lips were on her breasts, kissing, nudging, just lazily drifting.

khushi smiled... her rakshas had the sweetest touch.

he looked at her suddenly, arms gathering her and cradling, "khushi, i don't know what marriage is, but will you wear the lehenga for me and promise never ever to change a thing about yourself... just be who you are and come and live with me?"

khushi almost wept of course when she heard that.

"aap ko pata kaise chala ki humey gota aur pompom pasand hai?" she asked with an innocent grin.

(how did you know i love gota and pompom?)

he looked at her for a moment incredulously, then murmured, "bas... pata chal jata hai," and went back to doing what he'd been doing before this unfamiliar urge to talk came over him.

(one just knows.)

marriage? what was this thing. who cared! he was marrying khushi. and in every little tremble and whimper and "arnav ji" of hers there was forever and hamesha.


hi all, i do hope you have fun reading the chapter. thanks for being part of this mad story. i do hope asr and khushi are having a great time and their characters are true and utterly so. this love story i think is a bit of a triangular one, the writer is rather shamelessly in love with both these people. what a jodi. the edit up there is fromtheir recent take over of my tv screen... ipkknd ek jashn episode 8. see you soon.

here's the song kareena loves:

credit: uploader