Monday, 29 May 2017

a chat with a good friend


issk,

it was fun catching up on our first catch up. and this me being a good writer thing, only makes me go all embarrassed and feeling stupid... i am not really that good with words, but i guess the fact that i don't really bother about that and say what i feel i need to, gives a certain energy to my constant keyboard banging... crooner was a wonderful hangout, and priya really gave ipk so much love and thought, she almost made me feel like it was okay to ponder a soap the way i found myself doing without really meaning to.

ipk will remain at one level a mystery to me, which will no doubt make it even more dear and worth storing in those fast filling up memory cells. a sense of the unknown, without that life feels somewhat boring and pointless. almost not quite lived.

just a couple of minutes back i saw a little fuzzy shot of asr's face on a facebook video, my eyes had just caught sight of it as i scrolled down and the next instant i felt a funny feeling touching my blood and flesh, a tear sting the back of my eyes and disappear. even before i could see the face properly or know what was happening on the screen, it was all done.

what is this thing?

i will perhaps never know.

which is why it will be something my daughter should want to inherit.

i am a little tired of the pat answer from my friends, all of us so revelling in our being supposedly modern liberal educated not to be fooled easily and quite smugly know all, that this whole watching a show, getting interested deeply, coming to forums, holding onto a fantasy and nurturing it, is really encapsulated in one word... slightly derisively thrown, "escape".

i try to make them understand there is more to life than this so called hard and single dimensional reality... heck even physics and whatever else they may respect says so... that to be able to glean something outside this material measurable world (and i do love this one madly too), is in itself a marvellous thing, that we humans are capable of much more than merely earning money and looking serious and being "rational". and justifying our existence with wise nods about how we've done our duty.

that it textures and layers our adventure called life. that it allows us to experience our own selves our inner things more... we humans are so not bound, so full of potential are we...

but then i am lazy. i say one sentence or two... then agree with a grin, "yeah, maybe it's an escape."

promptly comes the next exclamation on this whole world i have discovered here... people from all over on an online forum, meeting, knowing each other, conversing in a way... via a medium... and in spaces never known before.

it's the classic question i get, "who has so much time?"

i don't really bother to answer. no point.

you and i may pass on from yeh duniya yeh mehfil, without ever "meeting", isskiya... or knowing each other's "asli naam", yet you will be part of my adventure and i yours... may not be everest, but the air got pretty rare around here too. how to make anyone understand the excitement of that.

enough weird thoughts.

yeh loh, our first to and fro.



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