Sunday, 21 May 2017

episode 383 jaa rahi ho... the first take

"jaa rahi ho?"  are you leaving?

did you hear the magnet in that quiet voice? how it pulled her over.

"hume jana hoga... arav ke liye." i have to go... for arav.

on that second part of the sentence, i felt my heart break a bit as her heart began to splinter.

two actors who have pulled out all the stops, no limits whatsoever, when it comes to bringing asr and khushi alive. i am fortunate to be with them every day.

"tumhe kya laga, tum chup chap chali jaogi aur sab theek ho jaayga?"

what dd you think, you'll go away without saying a word and all will be well?

what an understanding of khushi's character there by her creators, the writers, the dialogue guys.

"khushi, let's say yeh sab sach hota... toh chhorke chali jaati mujhe?"

khushi, let's say all if this were true... would you have left me?

rabba vey...

that's a question love asks, all love asks at some point or the other. because the difficult, the unbearable, even the impossible to bear happens. and if it is indeed love, that word "too often profaned", then it grows, it expands, it takes a long deep breath of pure oxygen and feels its feelings, its truth. and it stays.

khushi's arms going around him convulsively said that, though her words were: "hume nahin pata... hume kuch nahin pata." i don't know, i don't know anything.

the conflict in her heart about fairness to asr's other tie, as important as hers, in those words.

"mujhe pata hai. agar tum koshish bhi karogi, khushi, tab bhi hum alag nahin ho sakte. arnav aur khushi humesha saath rahenge."

i know. even if you try, khushi, you can't leave me. arnav and khushi will always be together. 

in the quiet of an embrace and the lilting rabba vey strains, my arms tingled, my heart melted, i breathed easy. that was a man who had truly and utterly submitted to love and knew what it was. his lover is yet to make the journey all the way, but she is nearly there. that's why at the end...

"tum aise kaisi ho sakti ho?" how can you be like this?
"aap ki wajah se." because of you.

last night in a letter he'd told her how she had made him more, better, fuller. her short four word reply seemed to say the same.

i fell in love with this love story a while back. never have i ever followed a serial before as my friends on the forum know. there was an understanding of this indescribable emotion, compulsion, called love here i'd not seen elsewhere in a while. it was classic and contemporary at once. it believed and was unafraid. it sang, it danced, it took extraordinary leaps and turns, it struck deep with the lightest touch. asr and khushi kumari gupta were so lovely, i could barely breathe when they got going. barun sobti and sanaya irani showed pyaar for their profession in a way that made you want to hug and hi five them every time they got it just right. which was practically every time.

i fell deeper and deeper in love. should have guessed it would be challenged. all pyaar has its dushman, its dukh dard dastaan. why should my love be an exception. it wasn't, starting mid feb all sorts of things started to happen, yet there were always huge bits of great writing and unforgettable acting. whoever wrote asr and khushi managed to remain true, with minor hiccups, right through. of course, barun and sanaya became asr, khushi without holding anything back. this level of commitment to and oneness with character is found only among the greatest thespians portraying famous characters. i found both in a telly show. unbelievable. wonder if fifty years hence asr will bring to mind an image, the way captain kirk or spock does. i think it will.

and now the dard/dushman factor just got raised a few notches.

but i, with a "hume nahin pata... hume kuch nahin pata," am still here. this episode, ipk seemed to hold me and say: i promise, main sab theek kar doonga.

oh that slightest hint of a sly smile on sheetal's lips when he said : stay! and strode out. poor sheetal, she actually thinks she's got him where she wants him.

i just adored asr's confrontation with sheetal. her same old, it was a dark and stormy drunken night story, his what the and frown abs rejecting the whole thing, khushi's beautiful growing up into acceptance of a feeling and not judging him for having a child, his buying time to sort things out now that he has her assurance that she will be with him always (he needs her and never denies it from the moment he has acknowledged his love, in life too love asks just for that, okay i do sound mushy), the beautiful music over asr hugging arav (i felt he made a silent promise to the child to set things right), his words to arav: you are not alone (asr identifies with this boy's sense of being alone, it was his akelapan too that engulfed him till khushi came into his life and we heard him say as much to her the previous evening), enjoyed all of that and more yesterday. the family scenes, the structure and design, just about everything touched me and worked for me.

i don't know how things will evolve. funny, now it seems gul is out to destroy the man she imagined and made. creator, destroyer, the one and the same, something almost spiritual there. barun sobti, whatever may be happening out there, has never let me down in my deal with him. not a single instance, in more than 380 episodes where i've felt, he didn't give it his all. and the same with sanaya irani. in fact, most of the cast. there's a lot of beauty in that itself, for me.

so i watch. till asr is barun and khushi is sanaya and they are together. jab hum door hotey hain tab bhi paas hote hain. yehi hai pyaar. when we are far from each other, even then we are close to each other, this is called love. yes, i know i am being prepared. i am.

that's why i can still love.

"khushi, meri zindagi mein jo bhi hoga, sab tumhare saamne hoga... mujhe har kadam pe tumhari madad ki zaroorat padegi... are you gonna be with me?" 


khushi, whatever happens in my life, will happen before you... i need your help at every step... are you gonna be with me?

was someone talking to me? or am i being ott and filmi like someone we know.


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