"agar itni nafrat hai humse toh haath pakad kar kyun rakha hai... chhoriye hume!" if you hate me so much, why are you holding my hand, let me go.
where does love begin where does love end and what is really hate when you've entered that feeling called love. and what exactly is the place of fights in love.
many thoughts whirl through me as i watch the magnificent battle on the entrance to the house. the man is beside himself with rage and behaving terribly. he is flinging things, ranting, calling his wife a gold digger who pretends to be nice so she can get things. he knows she is not at all like that... and yet he says that. why? because he has seen her with shyam.
just kills him, doesn't it?
"kahan thi tum?"
where were you?
brusque, looking for a fight.
he starts the moment his sister is out of sight. he has gone through many feelings in a short span of time. helpless before perhaps his own emotion he has practically confessed to her that nothing matters, nothing, no good no bad... only one thing does in this love... yes, he has used the word "pyaar". in this love only one thing matters that he forever forever...
she has picked on the fact, it was not ranjha, it was you, arnav singh raizada. she has charged him in turn daring him to say the whole thing... refusing to believe he didn't mean it.
how glorious she in her anger... why won't the man who loves her say so. i get her feeling. i adore this fiery real khushi. she was always real. till someone decided she had to be cut down to achhi bahu size. but with asr, even that didn't dare enter the equation... ever.
and then he has seen her refuse to take a prize with him.. finally, he has seen her with shyam, shyam's hand he has seen grasping khushi's nothing is in the right place within asr anymore. beside himself with rage ad agony.
i think between sanaya and barun they have created such a powerful love story, you feel the vibe of the two, you don't almost need close ups any more... their whole body language screams need, love, desire and crazy anger, the gripping tension of their myriad mixed up feelings, now raging, now ranting, now just badly yearning.
she has no idea whatsoever what is behind his attitude, his constant bashing anger, his snide ugly remarks... he talks of a "chot" but he doesn't say what.
he keeps thinking he can tell her, yet he can't bring himself to. even today...
"jaanna chahti ho..." do you want to know why i hate you, he says as if all set to tell her.
"shadi ke din se janna chahte hain..." want to know from the day of the wedding, she throws the bag she had just settled things into, including the jewellery set thrown by him with such vehemence, mindless... but when he says he is going to tell her what makes him hate her so, she vents angrily, her whole body jerks, the bag flies, is forgotten... she really needs to know what this madness is all about.
i love the way the battle escalates. totally believable. he is on a hysterical note almost... tell me where you went, repeatedly, relentlessly. he needs her to say, she was with shyam and it was a perfectly innocent thing maybe...
she knows she can't tell him but is riled by that note in his voice. another round of inexplicable anger just brings up and heightens the feelings of all the many rounds before this... that terrifying wedding, everything. and she also knows the man was practically confessing his utter love just a while back... now this sudden strike...
yes, i want to know, i am tired of this whole thing, this bewajah gussa, nafrat, the whole thing... what is all this about, she retorts, looking at him torn, in tears... what possibly is making this man behave so abominably.
a tense few moments together. face to face. holding each other without perhaps even being aware of it. no... he can't.
he can't say it. instead he says... he plays, his mind plays... "tumse itna nafrat hone ke bawjood mujhe har roze tumhari shakal dekhni padti hai," despite hating you, i have to see your face every day.. seems that is the problem. this stoopid temporary marriage...
no mention of shyam. he can't.
in his head he has conjured a vicious image of a destructive woman based on her pushing shyam away with those damaging words.. why don't you divorce anjali ji.
so to asr she is dangerous for his sister. planning horrible things. he is containing her... marrying her is the way he has chosen.
reminds me of this cousin of mine i used to be very close to as a kid. who whenever he got mad at me, he often did... he'd threaten to take me to the in laws' house. sasural. in bengali shoshur (father in law) sounds like oshur... monster (not exact translation, but basically, baddie...). he meant the monster's house. teehee.
so, i laugh to myself sometimes, asr took khushi to the monster's house... to make sure she doesn't harm his sister.
convoluted mad thinking. only a lover can think this badly.
okay, had he forced himself on her, i'd say he was a misogynist brute, but here none of that... instead this alternating between tenderness, need, and total uncontrollable rage.
writers and actors seem to understand love better than many wise books and movies and theories of pyaar. and a watching of this serial by young unmarried people, even married ones, may end up stopping many divorces, saving many lovers the agony of walking away.
such a remarkable sense of this compelling feeling and such a prizing of it above all else. i don't say one should put up with endless injustice and brutality, but one must understand this is not about political correctness, this call is from another place and it is valuable. actually, invaluable.
such beauty in the struggle the two of them go through within themselves... both trying to fight that love but it somehow asserting itself. of course, both characters are individually pretty dhakdhak giving.
both clean and pure essentially, yet with flaws and other nuances. that cleanliness, that innocence almost, another invaluable thing.
"kya, kya kiya humne..." what, what have i done... she keeps asking. i totally enjoyed the fact that khushi fought back and never ever cowered or allowed his brutal behaviour to crush her. so natural and so needed to be seen on our television.
he couldn't let go of her finally, as he had once before... not now... he can't any longer. in a way, khushi knew how badly he needed her despite all his horrible behaviour. she said, "jo baat aapke dil mein hai woh toh aap kabhi kehte nahin hain! aapka aham..." what's in your heart you can't say because of your ego.
he did love her and need her far far more intensely than either knew... she was a glimmer of bright clear light to him after years of darkness. so bright, she broke through his impregnable walls and skidded in on mango juice, ajeeb, pure sanka, and that shining goodness of hers, also that stunning beauty...
to see her anywhere near shyam... agony, insanity inducing agony.
despite that and all the name calling he indulged in... he couldn't let go.
***
when he said she must answer him because she is his wife, his patni. her answer was beautiful... she always told him what she thought.
"aapki patni, ajeeb baat hai, aaj tak hume yeh mehsoos nahin hua ki hum aapki patni hain. yeh rishta aap jab chahe tab achha hai aur jab aap na chahe tab iska koi matlab nahin... aapne shadi jaise pavitra rishte ko mazak banaake rakha hai."
your wife, strange thing, till date you haven't let me feel that i am your wife. whenever you like, this relationship is good and whenever you wish, it means nothing... you've made a mockery of a sacred relationship like marriage.
***
"sabka kitna khayal rakhti hai, the great khushi kumari gupta."
takes such good care of everyone, the great kkg.
that patch there, where he mocks her about her being phoney, doing good just to be seen a certain way... his dialogue delivery just zonked me here, especially those words. i could feel the man's anger with her and yet how his own words seemed to boomerang and hurt him. almost more than it hurt her.
***
crazy love.
when shyam says to her, oh so arnav can hold your hand forcibly. she lets him know, that is my pati, my husband... she doesn't say, yeah, he is a lout like you.
when the ever on the phone, really weird and cutely cast event organiser says he has seen khushi singh raizada (yeah, asr calls her that and not kkg as he does during the fight) go out with her husband, asr cuts in, i am her husband. but he hates her and this is a stoopid temporary marriage.
***
i am on my mano's side on the giving up of trophy issue. really, next time if they want her blood will payal give that too? in her own way, my sweet gaudiness, did ask us to examine fairly shallow ideas of being good, etc. she never was achhi bahu and yet family laued her, especially her gussa type ma in law. thanks to all creators of ipk that. mano was a person first then anything else. a thesis on this character alone... in a hindi soap, may be attempted and i bet it will be fun and do more for women's cause than many serious sounding ideas that lack traction.
oh the poor darling might get big big blayck circles around bootiphool eyes. i do believe payal did wrong by mano. and kkg was not right to have given up the trophy without at least once, even if brusquely, informing her nasty pati of her decision.
***
we all know story went haywire. but the love story, the candid and inspired exploration of an emotion, what it asks of us, where it takes us... so so beautiful, true, and always on track. despite babli, masala mama, dadi... h... there they come.
"is this love is this love is this love that i'm feelin'... "
he was ready to leave at one point. but she pulled him back. i didn't want to go close up today. one doesn't need to. it's all there. in fact, so powerful the creation of character and emotion, say asr khushi to me and i feel them right where i am. and a fight like this? well if you've had a long relationship, i am sure you have been here in your own way. they had been together hardly for any time, yet signs of long lasting pyaar in them... brilliant stuff.
......................
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