"aur phir wo ghayab ho gayi?"
and then she vanished?
khushi said that and i found myself beginning to smile. such a real anxiety on sanaya's face. though i knew the entire sheetal story was crafted ridiculously, nothing about it even faintly believable, yet, khushi's that funny moment when she is full of questions, mixed up, wondering what it was exactly that was between this woman with a child who reminded her of her husband and that cool handsome husband of hers... something about it was convincing.
khushi was in unfamiliar territory. she had never known she could feel this sort of uneasiness over a girl vis a vis arnav ji. in her many fantasies about weddings, sasural, ideal partner, etc., had she ever factored in a girl from his past... had she ever asked herself what she'd do should he have had a girl friend indeed. lavanya she knew, it happened before her eyes, she could handle it... even with that she was completely out of control the day she decided he wanted la and was planning to bump her off.
then too, the writing had been pretty bad, and sanaya standing on a ledge had touched me with her helpless utter love.
such a lost, worried, forlorn look on her face today. she has been feeling strange things. why is that boy so much like her husband? and that sheetal ji, who is she? she has even seen asr being nice to the kid. unthinkable. a million thoughts are going through her head, confusing her. sanaya communicated all this to me, with just the air with which she came and stood looking at him, wondering how to broach the topic.
her arnav ji...
she asked him haltingly about sheetal... and he said casually they were friends, sheetal like him was somewhat reclusive, in fact they were seeing each other for a while. and with that khushi like innocence she said, so you saw each other and she disappeared?
a lovely poolside interlude started, simple, man woman, a little silly, not at all cerebral, just about the gut and its uncut response.
he's her man. she has to know what the thing with sheetal was."aap unhen dekh nahin paaye?"
you couldn't see her?that literal translation has him smiling sort of tenderly. he shrugged it off as he would... she was just someone he dated for awhile, he explains.
she is not happy. he should have told her. i love khushi wanting her right, saying, you should have told me. yes... ask for something for yourself. he is precious to you, he ought to have told you.
he might have said, how to tell you, they just sprang this story on me, instead he is typically male... he hadn't even remembered. happens.
her retort was pretty angry. and funny.
"yeh kya baat hui... aap kissiko see kar rahe the, aur aapko yaad hi nahin..." what sort of behaviour is this. you were seeing someone and you can't even remember.
"khushi... that's because it meant nothing," says he still not getting how anxious and uncomfortable she is feeling. a whole new thing has suddenly erupted on the scene. he was "see kar rahe the" someone.
i completely got her trepidation and her anger, a confounding mix of feelings. there was a delicateness to sanaya's expressions right through that was gossamer like, ephemeral, i feared my edits would mar it, change its nature, make it thick, overdone. her whole body was tense, a helplessness in her eyes.
tell me, she demanded, before lavanya how many girls were there and who they were.
she wasn't acting cute, she was nervous and unsettled. what if arnav ji had many women? how could he? he was hers...
the penny finally dropped and the shatir one decided he couldn't lose this chance. that male thing to get after her and laugh his head off but also that kick he gets out of seeing her jealous, huqqy, not just sweet and compliant and self sacrificing.
"are you sure..." comes smoky voice in dilli amriki accent. and from shreya "to start with," comes the list... natalie neeta samantha cindy piya aradhna akanksha lata...
he's ruthless, he wants reaction. he gets it. she cuts in at lata, unable to bear it any more.
"aap ke zindagi mein itni saheliyan thi?" she asks almost close to tears.
there were so many saheliyans in your life?
i look at that girl from lucknow. saheli, a friend who is a girl... a supremely girl word. preeto could be called khushi's saheli. but la is certainly not asr's saheli. asr doesn't have sahelis.
"sahe-" he's just that little bit taken aback by her khushi vocab as he often is..."girlfriends..." he clarifies, with an urbane little shake of head. he really means to get after her. this is too much fun...
"arnav ji, aap ke..." she would have bawled.
his lips tremble. the most drastically amused and wicked and yet tender smile. i stare transfixed.feels like a long journey all by itself.
in 75, he'd stood right here and broken into a lopsided smile the very first time, looking at this girl who was getting under his skin despite her dehati aukat free lucknow ladki vibes, a girl he wanted to not think about, and yet couldn't get out of his mind. that ajeeb girl.
indescribable delicate feelings within him, within her then... no one very sure what was going on.. just that he had to smile. she was so ajeeb.
and today this smile, trying to burst out... a man who knows the girl he looks at has gotten completely under his skin and wouldn't have it any other way, a girl who means the world to him, whose ajeeb is so very precious. a girl whose being possessive he likes... excites him. makes him want to play.
just for a few seconds, in an episode that felt forced and tiresome, pure asr khushi at the poolside.
she saw him struggling not to laugh. she got it and went at him. again, real, not cutsie.
but then the bad dialogue day took hold of writers again, he said things you don't really need to say at the point, a nice big hug is enough.
***
my
mano was made to work very hard today. it was her duty to drop so many
boulderish hints. all that "chhotey paycketwa, bade paycketwa" talk,
then spelling it out clearly, if arnav bitwa had a son, he'd be just
like aarav..."shame to shame duplicate copy." her task was strenuous,
she needed a necklace that could tackle the enormity of the moment,
hello hi bye bye.
***
fangurl edit.
......................
fanfiction
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