ajeeb state

sometimes it's impossible to concentrate, what fun.

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the ajeeb game of love episodes

episode rambles 

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episode 75 tears and smiles

"iss baar galati humari hai..." as khushi said in a clear voice this time the fault was hers, i felt something move in me.

the frantic tension of the past few minutes disappeared, the need to thwart him vanished, as did the desire to win. khushi set aside all her angst and anger against asr. ever since the night of janmashtami an awareness and an ire had stalked both. they had reacted to each other from that place.

he had been harsh and nasty, throwing her out of his car, accusing her of being underhand, finally saying she was a mere servant, there was no need to apologise to someone in her position. he had meant to hurt her. he had succeeded.

she in the meantime had mounted a khushi like offensive using song, sugar, shoes filled with juice to stymie his relentless asr-ness, to get him to rue the day he had dared to dislodge her from his car and driven off.

they had constantly thought of each other. but really as objects, not as who they really were.

in fact, from the very first day their view of each other was filtered by prejudice. it may have been an instinctive defence for the impact of that first meeting was disproportionately massive.

on this day, khushi was winded by his dismissive and cruel words and possibly wound up and in a frazzled state with all the plotting and planning. he too i had the feeling was wearied by their confrontations, wary too. and maybe just a little disturbed by his own harshness.

it was in that state he had come across her at the poolside. he had stopped instantly, looking lost for a second, as if he was searching for the right thing to say.

she had sensed he was there without even turning around, that feeling around each other ever stronger. she'd turned her head just a little, yes, it was him. she'd resolutely looked away. she would not interact with him.
 
i felt he knew he had crossed a line. this is him.. the anger makes him lose all bounds, then sense returns and he must make amends.

"khushi, tumne..." he started. i wondered what he wanted to say. but she cut him short.

"bas! humey apni aukat ke baare mein aur baat nahin karni!" enough! i don't want to talk any more about my station in life, she said whirling around.

when she turned back and bent to get the tea cup, she felt the pull on her dupatta. she grew tense... we saw them standing by the pool, him behind her, a dupatta stretched. no one knew what would happen next. perhaps not even khushi.

it had to be the dupatta, i thought. from that very first episode this piece of gossamer garment has had a thing for him. it fell in episode one. in three, it reached out and touched, in fact, caressed him. since then, again and again it has flown and blown and done all sorts of things to touch him, like an unknown part of her reaching out, needing him, wanting him. now it would lead her to do something she'd never dreamt she'd ever do. so that we can arrive at the poolside once more.

and if we thought ascribing feelings and will to inanimate objects is ott fangurrling, i just heard that during sabbath when the blessing of the bread and wine are on at jewish homes, the bread is always kept covered because in mystical judaism there's the thought that the bread feels bad because the wine is chosen first and so is covered so as not to hurt it. hmmm.

yeah, that dupatta does its own thing and it finds the most mystical ways to mesmerise the two.

"humara dupatta chhoriye," let go of my dupatta, she commanded.

"what??" he scrunched his brow and looked puzzled.

she gritted her teeth and the next instant a quick swivel, a flash of hand and something was splashing on his face... violence again.

like that flinging of her arm in his room just a while ago.

"aap ki himmat kaise hui!!" how dare you! echoed, her voice full of distress and umbrage.

his face was in profile. pain, no agony, began to ride it... lines on the forehead and tightening of the lids. what had she done?

his fist was clenched tight. he stood stiff and straight. hot tea had been flung on him... have you ever been burned by tea? piping hot tea?

he opened his eyes and looked at her... his jaw hard. he said nothing, he showed nothing.

music recorded the raging moment and she would have turned away in a fit of self righteous anger but her eyes fell on the potted cactus that actually had caught her garment.

horror descended as she realised what a terrible mistake she'd made. her brow trembled and creased. music changed again, becoming light, whimsical. khushi reacted in her comical way, panic perhaps making her turn to this defence of hers. hands covered mouth, horror reached eyes. he stared, stony and still.

she yanked her dupatta, caused some more mayhem, dropped pots and tables, sidestepped him and did what a brave person must do. she ran.
 
but when she had reached safety, she did stop and peer to see what damage she had caused. and she saw him wince. he thought he was alone.

a riot of different emotions touched and sparked the scene. thanks to the two performers i went through all of them.

khushi had no idea how to address the situation, she was in turmoil, but she still had not leveled with herself perhaps.

when anjali fretted about chhotey's terrible burn, she was almost tearful with concern. she fetched the ointment and stepped into his room only to see the angry red weals on his chest and his stoic face. he didn't want his sister's help, he was fine, he'd manage.

with every second khushi's remorse grew.

he bears pain, physical, emotional, without complaining without fuss... he has got to be tough.

a poignant scene. when anjali asked how this had happened, khushi started to reply, "anjali ji, woh... main..."

he cut in brusquely, "kuch nahin hai, di... chhoti si chot hai! main handle kar loonga. baccha nahin hoon main."

it's nothing, di... a small burn! i'll handle it, i'm not a kid.

he kept the truth from coming out and saved her. why? that protectiveness toward her was already there though he still called her "uss ladki". beautiful, isn't it.

when khushi tried to apologise to him though, he walked up to his door and closed it without a single word. he shut her out.

there was so much and so many feelings in those moments. and a poised beauty. two young people, a boy and a girl and a world of theirs getting made with a set of fights and feisty words, with gussa and with sanka, with shut up get out and aap shut up... in a space no real estate guy can reach or sell. pristine primal space that only a man and a woman and their unguarded instincts can find their way to.

as that door shut, khushi felt the surge of absolute remorse. he became a real person... not just laad governor or rakshas or even aapke bhai.

he became the "unhe" he had become to her. arnav ji. that's all. and at last she empathised, she felt his pain. again a deeply gorgeous moment, characterised by the quietness and clarity of such moments, i thought.
 
she sat alone on the steps and mulled over things, most contrite.

babu ji always said she was foolish, but she didn't know she was such a big bewakoof. when her hand had touched that hot cooker in childhood, "humne rote rote poore navratri nikal di..." she'd cried through the whole of navratri (a festival spanning nine nights).

she is entering his feelings, his pain...  "uss garam chai se unhe kitna jala hoga..." how much that hot tea must have burned him.

sanaya's voice is clear and sad and full of feelings for "unhe".

"hume unse maafi maangni hogi," i must apologise to him she resolves.
 
and we come to the poolside again.

he is working with his plants, the undone buttons of his shirts reveal a red and badly burnt chest. i am trying not to let my concentration waiver. the dark grey shirt and the loose grey brown linen pants create a different silhouette. the mind wants to stay on such matters.

but a pair of hesitant mojris approach.

she walks up to him and stands waiting, he notices her footwear this time and looks up... he is distant, in his own world.

and he is unwelcoming. "tum yahan kya karne ai ho?" what have you come to do here. rough voice.

"hum... woh.." her face is getting all funny, her eyes are filling up.
 
he watches her. his gaze growing intent.

her tears have come...

"humara matlab hai ki hum aisa nahin karna chahte the... " i mean i didn't want to do this, she sniffs.

he is nonplussed.

"hum aapko jalana nahin chahte the.." i didn't want to burn you.

her hands come up and in that innocent khushi way comes the most strange line in the middle of an earnest apology, "aaj tak humne kissiko bhi nahin jalaya." i haven't burnt anyone till date. aah so he is exclusive... only he gets to sizzle for her. sorry bad joke.

later we'll learn her tears always dislodged him... he is looking worried now as though he needs to do something. possibly run.

i thought you'd held my dupatta but you hadn't, she wails.

a funny yet tender something comes on.

he looks around a little helpless as she cries away loudly. nothing subtle about madam and her remorse. gota shining pompom swinging feeling bad this is.

he steps forward, his gardening fork aloft.

she looks at it and her feet go back, she is pretty sure, perhaps, he wants to strike her.

he lowers the fork and watches her backward step. he is completely unsettled by her spate of tears and stammers out (yes, he stutters):
 
"toh... kya pakadna chahiye tha?!"

so, should i have held your dupatta!

how beautifully the heaviness exits the scene and a traipsing, twirling man woman things starts.

"dekho, pehle tum rona band karo!" see, first you stop crying.

yeah, important. he can't take it. even though he snarls at her all the time. at this point, she decides since she is already in this much, she may as well dive right in. 

and so she exclaims, "aap na? aap bahut ajeeb ho!" you know... you are really strange.

wonderful writing... as relief washes over her, she is a little loopy, her tongue a little loose.

he stares at her, what!

then a quick return, "main ajeeb hoon!" i am strange?!

"aur yeh tum keh rahi ho," and you are saying this. garden fork waves in front of her. stress on "tum". something changes. he is no longer looking at her like she is an "uss ladki". he is unwittingly engaged, and very amused.

you can feel the romance but you must giggle at the absurd exchange and his genuine "what the" at being called strange by the strangest one of them all. a tad affronted that this clearly "ajeeb" girl thinks he, he asr no less, is strange. perfect connecting to the moment by both actors. i laugh even when i think of this scene.
 
this is the beginning of ajeeb which will see such intoxicating denouement at a farmhouse one night far away. had i not known it, even then just by itself, just the way it is, this exchange would be etched in memory long and always cause a flutter inside.

she nods. he looks her up and down. it feels like a sexy turn in an intimate yet humorous jig.

madam is now in full confession mode. he is her confessor.
the mishri she had put in the tank.

"aur aapke jooto mein joooce," and in your shoes juuuice!
again the wail. the enormity of her crimes are crushing her no doubt. if she hadn't been so funny, i might have felt bad for her too.
 
he looks around and can't let the chance go.

"mango juice!" says he loudly and sternly. very head master like.

"woh... santre ka nahin mila na!" didn't get the orange juice, that's why, comes the pure unadulterated sanka touched comeback.

and that is the man's undoing.

eyes narrow, lips purse and begin to slant. that gradual sublime ascent. the lopsided smirk of one mr arnav singh raizada.

we had come to a heartstop moment. music knows it too."hansa toh phansa!" khushi might have exclaimed.

he smiles, eyes alight with a tenderness and mirth. who has made him laugh last? i feel her enter his heart space on that smile, as her tears flow.
 
in that second, that split second in fact i felt his heart burst open and let her in... no, drag her in and shut the door. no longer will she be shut out. never again.

he fell hard i thought. though of course the shatir tycoon hadn't a clue what had just happened. this was breakthrough point... the real treasure of the game that had started a while ago.

soon the snot has him horrified, then to make matters worse she blows her nose in her dupatta, the cause of all the trouble, then with an "hume jo kehna tha humne keh diya, ab hum jaa rahe hai" i've said what i had to say and now i'll leave... she leaves.

"unbelivable!" says a very handsome very smitten man. the sweetest endearment ever.

intercut with this enchantment was the story of another wealth... the goddess of it in fact. lakshmi ji.

trying to win nani's heart and get a little time by herself with her friends, la took lakshmi ji out for a walk. and lost her. mami ji said "nebher pheares bhen mami ij heres" and got fake lakshmi in... "lakshmi naahin ooke double role hai". i thought of asr's double in 74 and how you know instantly it ain't the real deal. nani would of course know the difference. to prevent things from getting really bad, khushi resolved to to search for asli lakshmi.

no one knew the real priceless stuff had been found at the poolside.

75 is a classic episode. so fabulous i haven't had the nerve to write about it for the longest time. i will never be able to express the sweetness, the purity, the fun, the bounce, the joie de vivre, the tenderness and the delicate sensuality of a romance here. the reaching out of two people toward each other in a way only they can. barun and sanaya are both so in tune and not a shred of overacting where that might have been a pitfall with many. the funny never cuts down the romance, the romance never smothers the funny, all the while you giggle and guffaw and you dhakdhak and wonder what next. you feel insanely happy. 

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the ajeeb game of love episodes

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good morning, sanka devi.

it's past nine in the morning, how come jiji never woke her up. even two alarms can't get the job done. for not only horses, sanka devi sells elephants too and goes to sleep. 

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the ajeeb game of love episodes

episode rambles 

fanfiction

episode 77 that feeling of badhia

i watched 77 after a long gap and it struck me again what an absolute beauty the episode was. i get the feeling the entire krishna season, starting with rakhi and ending a couple of days post janmashtami, took us to the heart of love. it's absolute awakening and establishment. and since it was the time of krishna it was as playful as the flute player himself. a keen tune he seemed to play and everything danced to that. even his dark side... shyam.

from 64 to 77, we went from khushi's return to asr's home... this is my house he had hollered as we remember... to his "get out!" and then on to a series of strange goings on, plenty tricks (by both good and bad forces), almost a sense of a crazy gaming arcade till we reached the ethereal moment at the pool, when her sanka finally cut through all the resistance, the rave rant accusations, everything... and made him smile.

and she was in his heart, you could almost feel it.

and finally at the end, the chunari chose its bride, the asli lakshmi, his "my house" on its way to becoming hers too.

from "get out" to a point after which there is no way out. a story got told fluently, almost flawlessly. khushi even managed to shock an auto driver with her forwardness and he had to refuse her offer of a coffee or tea.

i think the beauty was so intense, writers looked for little laughter patches so we could breath and so could they.

out of sheer curiosity, i searched for rakhee and janmashtami and came across this quote by an eminent cardiologist who is also a padma shri awardee, had to be a heart doc i thought. this is what dr k k aggarwal says:

"eight days after rakhi we celebrate janmashtami. the sacred thread tied during raksha bandhan connects us to janmashtami, when we celebrate the birth of lord krishna. in this period of eight days between purnima' and ashtami' we get a chance of cleansing and purifying our soul and subsequently getting reborn again.

this seven-day period, symbolic of the time taken for creation of the world by god can be likened to a recreation of the self by us. this period is to be seen as a time for penance when all negativism is purged to achieve the level of pure spirit. needless to say, all forms of spiritual downers' should be abstained from, so that a hindrance free communion with the soul is made possible."

in a way i am happy that mami took the opportunity to insinuate the worst possible thing about khushi. not only did i thoroughly enjoy kkg's attitude, i was again entranced by her true blue craziness... she carries chana, chips, chyawanprash (huh!) and what was the other thing, chameli tel?? in her jhola bag. when she upturned her bag and shook it, chana fell out in slomo... something real there about us and our bags. funny and tender.

but the most touching thing was her hand chancing upon the the final "ch" thing: "chabi" the key... the mannat ka chabi that she had almost forgotten. 

felt to me as though it stepped in to save her. to remind her of a beautiful moment, of a man she was driven crazy by but who she couldn't hate. as though he himself came over to protect her at her difficult hour. her honour was being questioned, how could he not be there.

that thought of him at the darga, that memory eased her from within.

again and again in ipk, inanimate objects come alive to take a story forward or elaborate a nuance, i enjoy this storytelling a lot. the key can mean so much, it is about unlocking always and this one had mannat, a powerful wish, attached to it. khushi was perhaps the key that unlocked asr, that opened the door to a whole new world and answered all his questions. in fact she had just unlocked a door by the poolside... and she was perhaps his most powerful wish, one he had asked of life, only he had no idea.

pearls, doris, payal, jalebi, dupatta, pickle jars, gust of wind, a name, a song in the air, all tell their own tales and complete a story. each one is adept and most eager to take us further and further toward the core of it all.

the necklace was found on lakshmi. she who is named after the goddess of wealth would surely not let any harnm come to the real wealth of the house... which was to me the precious priceless love that was taking root in two beautiful hearts. when arnav singh raizada's father had betrayed his mother a terrible strike had been made on this wealth.

pyaar had lost its place in the hearts of those most able to bestow it and value it. nani ji had told chhotey way back that love was a problem and led to only terrible things so he should marry the girl she chose for him and not even think of love.

he had retorted he had no place for pyaar in his life. he, who had such ability to love, had done away with it from his lexicon. if there had to be a relationship, it had to be one based on being like minded, respect, even trust... but love? never.

he had lost all faith in love.

did lakshmi ji just make sure that love can find its way back to him and shantivan itself?

khushi survived the mami test but her heart was down. so much was happening to her today. and now to be accused of being a thief? well she had stolen a priceless thing and it was nothing as paltry as a diamond haar, but mami ji was not to know that. 

jalebi came to the rescue... via anjali, who had been feeling pretty bad for this dedicated worker, spunky young girl, and her new found friend, la. khushi's instant bounce back was heartwarming to see and of course once she is up and upbeat, can sanka be far behind?

i loved the attitude of the heroine in ipk. no prolonged misery and moping and tears. she is sensitive, she feels things, she gets hurt, but she has sunlight in her being, she is bright by nature. when you turn yellow gold to white you'll notice it can turn yellowish again i awhile. that's because the nature of gold, its yellowness is so intrinsic it is really hard to mask it.
like that, khusuhi's laughter, her optimism, her sprightly sparkly brain, her loopiness.

jalebi is very hardworking, just like khushi today. it takes them to talk of marriage and the fact that arnav ji will not marry. this is when khushi must prance in and tell her friend why that is just not acceptable. khushi is an instinctive deal maker. she knows nani and di want la to marry asr. she also herself has a major problem with live in relationships, it's totally alien to her. and khushi has her flaws, she does tend to interfere even if it is to make others happy. but today the alacrity with which she plays on la's basic insecurity about her looks and ageing is really sharp. khushi would have done well in advertising, she knows nothing makes us move as fast as fear.

fear, as alistair maclean has told us ages back, is the key.

so hold up the heebie jeebie of age and la is hurled into the inner space of terror. where there are wrinkles, grey hair, a lack of good age vanquishing creams and her heart throb looking drop dead in grey hair with two hot young babes on either arm. shivanya and shana... maybe those names have deep meaning but i am too busy staring at the man with silver in his hair and playboy air to really care.

till suddenly the photo speaks. nani, now presumably dead with that haar on her neck, guffaws at la and says hah, see the result of opting for live in. even a goat knows what's a better choice. shadi. lakshmi ji, that caretaker of precious things, readily agrees. i liked this light handling of a matter on which all serials on indian tv have obviously a very serious view, along with much shaking of head and self righteous moral lectures. here it's in a fantasy with a very strong and intelligent woman saying frankly it's not to your advantage to pooh pooh marriage, and the execution is through jest. nice. sticks in the mind, you are free to agree or not. no bludgeoning.

khushi is overwhelmed by the response she gets from la and in her wonder way sets about cooking up a plan. there shyam is always up to some plot and here kkg, difference being one tries to bring about good and the other anything but. however, shyam's plans make sure they fail but not before they have done some good too. after all it is the season of krishna and his namesake can't do only bad.

and so it is that thanks to shyam, anjali wants to wear the necklace and then again while talking to him, leaves it on the bed... making for that plausible explanation as to how lakshmi got it at all. and shyam it is again that is really instrumental in bringing about the search operation, that egregious allegation from mami leading to khushi touching and connecting with the key.

the best part about shyam's plan, asr hears that khushi was subjected ti a bag search. instantly something registered. he could sense she had been through a lot that day and he had added to her burdens too... 

when di said she felt they were being unfair to khushi, he sounded offhand. don't worry about such little things he said.

i wondered if he meant that. maybe he did i thought because he has shut himself out of the emotional scape so much, telling himself only di matters and nothing else. but i was wrong.as he leaves di and walks down the corridor, he is thinking of khushi and di's words. while the subject of his thoughts is happily rushing out of the kitchen having cooked up a plan to mount the shadi charge on him. a happy girl... elated with the thought of positive action and also in a fret about being late.

the episode moves into another space you sense, it's in the way the camera moves, the rhythm of things, the energy lifting up... something you know will happen.

look at the two of them. a thoughtful dark one, flowing smoothly inexorably silently. like the ocean, my mind says. 

and there is she, a sprightly bouncy one, dashing, making noise, aaj toh bua ji hume bahut daantegi, sanka devi parmeswari saare naam ek saath... like a rill or a mountain stream, tripping along.

they had to meet. bang. she is plastered against him. his hands come up instinctively. everything pauses. i often think how economically and beautifully ipk made use of the simplest of places for the most breath taking and exotic of lovers' meets. 

hey hey... the song starts almost instantly. little movement of brown irises; the slightest turn of head and a look at fingers on shoulder by hazel eyes.

an awareness. almost a new awareness. an intense one. and in both a quiet, a silence some where as if something has been touched within for the first time, it fills them and makes them want to linger there.

he moves his fingers off her shoulder... did he think of the day in the rain? he was thinking you could see? she is stuck. that jhumka... always something of hers seeks him or so it appears. beautiful design of character and costume, nothing is wasted.

"ek minute!" a little impatient and yet patient, husky and soft yet brusque. "main nikalta hoon," he'll take it out.

right by his heart a part of her.

this time the rabba vey is loud clear happy traipsing, there is no doubt in its mind that the story it writes just entered a whole new chapter of that feeling people call love. chhoti chhoti baatein... unimportant things he had said these were. yet the man who was accusing her of all sorts of horrible stuff just a while ago is now unable to just forget those chhoti chhoti baatein...

and here perhaps he is so very gentle because he knows she has been through hell.

the jhumka in his hand, days later there'll be a pompom in his hand, giving him succour as the key gave her today.

so enmeshed with each other through these telling objects they are.

she looks at his hand hold her jhumka, intensely aware of his nearness... ironically, she had just hatched a plot to get him permanently tied in marriage... to someone else. that was her job the way she saw it, she was not thinking of this undercurrent.

for some reason, today her heart really longed not to leave him though she didn't know that, or was it his heart? because now the dupatta got stuck on his cuff button. not once, but twice she got entangled with him. 

looking at her as they tried to free the dupatta, he seemed to be lost... then he suddenly touched reality and said... i love you.

it came out as... "tum theek ho?" faraq padta hai, asr... and lovely that you don't even know.

her eyes widened... did she hear the subtext? she blinked. miss madness. with the sanka that cuts through to his dil and doesn't let it hurt.

and then the most tender parting between them.

he couldn't look away, she had to turn and look at him.

outside all the plots and plans we make perhaps the heart writes its own story. falling in love could simply be the moment we learn to hear that story. their time had not yet come, but something told you it will. it surely will. hey hey...

at home, shyam waited to commiserate, instead she left him winded.

"haan, hum toh badhiya hain!" yes, i am great! she replied when shyam feigned concern.

she smiled remembering laad governor's smile...  that ajeeb poolside tryst... such an inviolable moment of connection. she remembered there had been something bad in the day but also she had made a new friend.

khushi was too happy to care about anything... she prattled away with jiji.
and when morning came, she set off to get her plan activated. 

the look on asr's face when he saw la and that "lavanya" deserves an award.

he was flummoxed, concerned and then totally irritated by the new unimproved la... don't call me arnav ji, change your clothes.

sana was goofy and cute and strangely vulnerable. may not be politically correct or acceptable what she is doing, but she was willing to do anything to get him. was that bluetooth being used for the shadi plans? the humour was dotty and fun. where do they get these deadly auto drivers from and what is with ipk and auto drivers?

khushi was in top sanka form. she went under jp's arms when he opened the door while jabbering nonstop.

a very angry (again) hot young man in brown shirt and waist coat (the wearing of which had left sundry older women dead before their computers) flung a chunari... nice story the writers had thought up to arrive at the next scene.

the dupatta flew and found its mark. after all, arnav singh raizada ka nishana kabhi nahin choogta. plus it seems their was outside help from dm. hey hey heyheyhey.

the time of krishna, radha had been found, i thought. all creatives deserve applause and acknowledgement for this beautiful episode. in it, all the flavours and tastes of an emotion and such fine entertainment. barun looked young handsome, a little vulnerable; sanaya was fresh and pretty and fey and beguiling; they both calibrated and touched and felt each moment making that meeting on the landing classic, unforgettable. all along there was that different canny look at pyaar.

as i watched them on the landing... so tender, unhurried, deeply immersing in each other, a little lost, not so focussed, silently appraising each other, a feeling rumbling... i thought of this very well known gana. enjoy. 

 credit: uploader

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episode 76 a mark forever

when i think of this episode right in the middle of an eventful day with all sorts of not too normal things afoot, what comes to mind are a) black mark, b) a girl talking animatedly to a goat and c) a man looking at a girl with an unfathomable but stirring look in his eyes.

a black mark on a goat, not the "asli lakshmi" but the other one and a black mark on a man's cheek, did both in some way relate to khushi? right through, starting from 75 shyam is doing all he can to put a black mark on khushi's integrity. i wonder is that why we had so much daal play in 75? because one of the most top of mind connection to daal is "daal mein kuch kala hai," meaning there's something a little off, not quite right in the situation.

shyam has mounted an offensive to stain khushi's reputation. and suddenly for no apparent reason we see the man who has openly accused her of being underhand walking into frame with a big ugly mark on his cheek, possibly from the gardening. "mooh kala", isn't that another allusion to bringing shame to oneself? but one can ask why should asr's mooh be kala if it's khushi's face that is about to be attacked? i have no clear answer, yet it's nice to think, at one level perhaps a connection is hinted at: if khushi's reputation is harmed, his is too. of course, they have no idea themselves that they are becoming part of each other, but maybe a connection unknown is building anyway, a creative take on that this may have been.

the episode built relentlessly toward the last sequence. the most painful one where khushi would actually agree to have her bag checked by mami. although everyone made the right noises about the horrible allegations by mami, khushi decided she would give in to the demand.

i asked myself why didn't nani or anjali stop this, but i think i would have insisted too if someone openly cast aspersions on my integrity like that. khushi had so many things about her that made her feel real.

so real and also endearing, that when she started talking earnestly to a goat, you didn't roll your eyes and reach out for some darkly biting comments, instead you watched slightly entranced, somewhere along the way you thought sanaya was such a neat actress and yeah she could make even picking up a goat and hugging it in the middle of the road and chatting look wonderful.

that scene of hers running about and calling out to lakshmi, then asking a hapless man if he'd seen this fair one who goes "main main", then locating her and charging relieved to catch her and tell her, how would your mother feel about this... was pure khushi and refreshing zany just the right amount of goofy. i wish asr had seen her doing this. we'd have "i love you dammit" then and there. or at least a heart stopping "pagal".

nani's love for lakshmi is touching. a woman widowed pretty early and then the blow of losing her only daughter, who has always borne the responsibility of keeping her family together, who is stoic about things that crush her, maybe lakshmi is her one outlet, a pliant though frisky and playful quadraped who is warm and loving, who shakes her ears when nani ji pets her, who hangs about without demanding anything and who makes nani smile with her antics. this relationship has plenty love and selflessness.

and though nani doesn't know it, her lakshmi will save khushi, her bahu to be also considered lakshmi of the home. in khushi's finding and rescuing lakshmi perhaps another hint that the true wealth of the raizada home will always be safeguarded and protected by khushi. while i am not into all this heavy duty symbolism and these things often feel laboured, yet the lightness of touch of sanaya's acting and the vibe between jayashree t, sanaya irani, sana khan, daljeet kaur, utkarsha naik and even jai prakash added a nice sense of significance to the scene.

of course, la accepting khushi as a friend was lovely. i have always found something endearing and vulnerable in la... she is a girl with potential. not a mean girl, in a way uncomplicated and there was always a generosity of spirit in her, evident when she was not feeling threatened in any way. she was also in many ways what you see is what you get. just as she could screech if this chamkili is expected to teach me anything i will leave this house, similarly she could stick out her hand and offer friendship the moment she felt khushi had gone beyond the call of duty to help her.

sana khan was rather cute here, she looked genuinely worried for kkg, she being completely scared of nani ji's sharp tongue. and despite nani ji's not at all kind words to her, i have to say, she actually did not want to lie about lakshmi and present another goat. that was all hello hi bye bye, the one who was forever trying to manage the "horror film" that too in "3d" which her life with sasu ma apparently was. phew poor mano, jai prakash, please hurry up and give her some tea, interval hui gawa.

well they say many films are good only up to the interval. here, a precious moment came soon after in fact. in it a couple of quiet rabba veys.

asr, still in those lose trousers and dark shirt, now a waistcoat on, strolled out and the first thing he saw was the patch up between the two girls. khushi's charming assertion that now that la and she were friends la could call her what she pleased showed again a sunny strong side of her nature. wonder if it touched him.

she turned and saw him, she seemed disconcerted and also a trifle entranced. he was definitely in a funny sort mood, just standing there looking at her when she noticed that black mark. neither spoke. she pointed, he frowned, she pointed at her own cheek, he wiped the wrong side. maybe she wanted to reach out and...

anyway la came along and no qualms at all started to erase the mark, her fingers very comfortable on his face as though they were quite used to touching him. they were. and that was perhaps the thing.

a scene from a mandir at teej played in my mind, kkg striking the match again and again after seeing asr open la's fast. another scene from la's home when he went to take her back, as she watched them in each other's arms, an unbidden tear rolling out of khushi's eye, streaming down.

today though the emotions in the look she gave him as she turned back were a little different and so too the appraisal of his, both had been touched by the harshness earlier in the day, the flying into rage, the flinging of arm and tea and then the moment of ajeeb by the poolside.

sanka debi had touched laad governor in an indescribable but unforgettable way. rakshas had moved rajkumari and left a little mark in her. a reflective yet stirred feel to their gazes, their concentration on each other.

even mami's interrogation and egregious bag check couldn't suppress the carefree happy feeling within me. like lakshmi probably felt standing bang in the middle of traffic and chomping fresh leaves.

shyam got khushi's most beautiful palat sadly, but this one was tender and pretty too and sanaya said many things with her eyes. was she wondering why she didn't want to yell at laad governor? why she couldn't really talk in front of him as if loathe to mar the peace between them; and also a little shy she seemed to be.

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about that sanak

gaur se dekhiye as kamlesh khabri has exhorted us. look at this man carefully, that shouldn't be too hard to do. if you see him coming undone gradually, it's because he is doing precisely that, there's deep undoing going on inside of him... near that walled in dil of his, his fort faraq nahin padta. and it's all because of something called sanka.

difficult to translate. sanka is looniness, craziness, cookiness, loopiness, eccentricity, loveliness and innocence combined. there might be a few other things in it. but just as only the druid knows the secret of obelix's magic potion, so here. in fact here it's even more of a secret recipe. no one knows exactly what and in what proportion goes into it.

but sanka would be an essential note of the raga khushi, if khushi were music (aaj mausam hai suhana would be based on this raga of course); of jalebi khushi if she were a sweet; of bhangra khushi if she were a dance.

well khushi is a girl and sanka is her birthright. i go on about this because i have a theory and a huge round of applause for the writers (i have been cribbing a lot lately and not without reason, but here they have shown such talent).

theory is, this sanka is what finally hits at and collapses the wall of don't care, of indifference that the gorgeous mr raizada has created in him. not that he meant to be that way... but life handed him a blow he couldn't take. everything froze and hardened within.

to cut through that, something sharp was needed, sharp yet gentle. something that could crack open the shell then fill it with a salve, ameliorate, ease, lighten. bring on a sense of happiness. not because he was looking for it, because he really wasn't, but just because it was so compelling, it brought on the feeling, bas.

had khushi been everything else she was... pure hearted, strong, caring, even beautiful and feisty, he may have grown to like her over time, but for him to fall for her, something more was needed. enter sanka.

that sanka is what made him let go and capitulate. every time. and suddenly it would yank him much like that dupatta she grabbed and pulled and without even knowing he'd fly to her.

repeat telecasht: the sanka was essential to him falling madly in love, pagalo ke tarah, sigh.

i love the character design. her sanka was not just a touch of cutesie pieness, it was necessary for this particular love story. the writers get a big namaste and adrakwali chai from me for that.

i also really want to leap with joy when i think, his gussa, his essential note was again not just a thing added to make him seem powerful and big, he showed his love for her through the many shades of his gussa and she because she was who she was, understood that.

if he was not gussa, she'd miss it. if she were not sanki, he'd get deeply concerned. they got each other... totally. such a beautiful sign of that thing we can't find a name for.

of course, without sanaya's keen and beautifully thought out interpretation would we have ever felt this divine sanak and without barun sobti that extreme range of asr emotions.

i hope you are still looking at him. do you feel his heart lurch suddenly? the smile, sorry smirk, is out before he can think... and doesn't it say the man is gone?

never mind her, she'll just pour some mango juice in your shoes to take revenge.

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a feeling takes hold

he is often angry, but when he is angry with her there is an intensity there that's not seen otherwise, almost an involvement. his body bends a certain way, his fingers jab air, his face grows stormy, his eyes burn as though wanting to annihilate her, consume her, touch her. nothing is held back. an emotion is clearly at the root of this. we never get so mad at people who don't matter. my mother used to say, i get angry with you because i love you, i don't get angry at the passerby. twisted it sounded when i was a kid but really that is the point.

in 74, asr's state of dil shows itself again and again, just that he has no idea what's happening. even the way he checks his pockets to see if she's planted something in them speaks of it, that wary look in his eyes, an unusual uncertainty (i know i haven't found the right words, but you know what i am trying to say). i think in these episodes again a level is cleared and his emotions take a deeper hold of his heart and mind. that first meeting at sheesh mahal, then the first rabba ve, their moments of unmitigated awareness and nearness in the rain, the panic of guest house, bersarai's seething silence, teej's compulsion, the storeroom's pounding heat, the breathtaking surprise in a cupboard... "khushi!" one by one a feeling has entered and scaled to capture its quarry. and now it's slipping into all sorts of places within him, he has no control. she can sense him all the time, he is in her thoughts too. she can's leave him and go away to lucknow, she can't feel "theek" after yelling at him, she can "mehsoos" him even when her eyes don't see him and when he hurts her it hurts more somehow. much more.

these were the tender heady explosive days of falling in love... totally dense and teeming with emotion and yet frothy and full of fun, a sexy kind of fun. in between sublime beautiful moments. romance is not exactly a new genre, but the way ipk and asr khushi told the story, it just reached another place within me. and stayed. 

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episode 73 juice is good for you

and the games continue. after the mishri manoeuvre of episode 72, today it's the double jeopardy of joooice (aka juice) and jalebi bai (currently the number one ringtone chosen by delhi tycoons).

when the man couldn't get to his office thanks to an suv engine that wouldn't start, and a young woman who couldn't stop grinning, he decided to have his important business meeting at home.

home? but that is where the hate is. aha.

when planning offence, keep eyes and ears sharp. opportunity lurks in hidden corners. no one needs to teach miss kkg that. her brain whizzed around looking for a plan, and in the laad g's room when she noticed his phone lying on the bed and remembered he had dared to throw her out of the car, the "hume gaadi se utara" gussa got going (yes, the dear girl has her share of the angry monsters, he hasn't cornered the market, despite best efforts it would appear, tsk tsk asr). in seconds, the plan was actioned.

the results of course had all rofling. poor man. even i, his devoted elderly fan was giggling and imagining the embarrassment of a haughty looking tycoon who moments before was looking coolly at someone whose phone rang during the meeting, imparting advice in business like tone. then... dhing chak dhing chak ho jalebi bai, ho jalebi bai.

 
that post this, erm interruption, they took his "after that, we're in business," seriously must be having something to do with this man's hotness, looks like we are not the only ones smitten with our thin and edgy tycoonwa.

but, oh to live that down. he was furious. he stormed to the living area. grimly asked, who called him. nani was quick to point out, ms kassyap might have many answers since she has been noticed around his room deep in the night. demand as he might, he doesn't get any real answers. and then, of all people di asks him to take it easy. everyone is having such a laugh, can't blame them. one doesn't get a chance to laugh their heads off at the seriously angry young man they live with, so too much of an opportunity to miss i guess.

mami ji's "yeh chitrahaar kahaan se start hui gawa," referring to the hindi film song based television programme of the seventies and eighties, was a scream.

but my ultimate vote went to the clipped, "it's not funny" from our dear asr. sometimes all you need is to hear the voice to faint.

to give us a break from , director and sanaka deviced a sweet little meeting between akashji and payalji. and suddenly, no rancour, no gussa, no grinding teeth and flaming passion, and hurling insults. instead it's all sweetness and er, hum, woh, ji?, ji! lau. good to know that falling in love will not always necessitate battle and scar.

and on we move to squelch squelch squelch. busy man on the phone, completely misses the wet stuff flooding his shoes, and it's only when he sees his whole family staring that he realises something was amiss. jai prakash, the victorious one throws light on the substance in question.

it's juice.

"mango juice," knows the wise one. but what he has no idea of is how much all at home will enjoy his discomfort. awful reminders of childhood habit from di (how could you), giggles and saucy ones from mami, "joota itna angriyake pehne ki joota ka jooce hi nikal gaya," wore teh shoe so angrily that it took out it's juice. really. la was laughing, and that irritating khushi couldn't control her smirk. how dare she, smirking is his domain, his territory. then finally, et tu nani. really this was too much. 

"very funny," on a huff and he stalks off.

wonderful comic acting as always from sanaya, but today the whole gang was rather good, including the straight faced jai prakash. and the completely loopy in love akash, with able support from a gentle breezy payal.

on the heightened note of "strange" that the week commanded, there was la taking charge of lakshmi to show nani her goatwa love, on advise from her consiligeri mami (anyone remember consigliere from godfather, hmmm a fab tom hagen, mano raizada giving him tough competition). so started the la la land chapter within the khushi-believe-it-or-not game arcade.

there was also the rather cute tete a tete between khushi and la on the hot topic of shaadi. everything doesn't stop at shaadi as la says, but starts there. have to say, loved this chat between two girls from different world's, each convinced in her way about her pov. of course, poor la will not be allowed by the determined miss sanka to hold on to her views for long, tricks that hit home will be used to make the canny la rethink strategy. but this scene had a sassy girl thing to it i liked.

akash walked in confused and and sillified in pyaar, but sauntering into bhai's room reported that the mechanic had found mishri in the tank. there stood bhai, mishri in hand, looking at his wet shoes and the mango juice on the table, wondering how said juice got into shoe, when this info sparked his dimaag ki batti into full action. he remembered sighting madam here there everywhere and a certain expression on her face. then her voice, gleefully informing mami that it's "mango juice, mami, aap lenge," as he walked away from the mirth at his expense table.

the dots connect.

the man was ignited. "khushi kumari gupta..." through clenched teeth, (i died), no one else could have thought of such small minded things, wait till i catch you, this time i won't let you forget your aukat lesson. harumppph.

74 skidding at us, all jazzed up with thief of lucknow action. watch out.

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