i can never tell which of these two moments makes my heart stop quicker. both seize something in me.. make me pause, make me feel the power of that thing we call love.
the first was of course, "jaa rahi ho." when khushi tiptoed out of their bedroom, i was shocked. she had just told him a couple of scenes before that, she'd be with him "hamesha." he'd asked her for that assurance, quite unlike him, but he had. hamesha was obviously being played up, because soon there would be a demise unthinkable.
but in story telling this strange jump to khushi walking out on asr for aarav's sake, after the hamesha promise that too, because she has decided aarav needs him... what sense does this make? would khushi behave in such a way... is it even a solution? i was thinking all this and more as the scene progressed. sanaya was intense and shaken, but something just didn't gel. it was absurd. you don't walk out like that... and yet, i did think of that first scene of kramer vs kramer when meryl streep sits talking to her son who sleeps, before leaving him.
tears flowed freely down helpless cheeks, she walked back as if unable to leave, she stroked a beloved cheek and kissed the man she loved. he slept deeply through it all... his lips set in a straight line, his breathing easy. she turned to go, because she had decided she must.
a sudden something, a widening of her eyes. her hand went to her neck, her dupatta...
she turned around and there was his hand holding her dupatta, not letting her go. the dupatta i guess had to be there in this moment. he was wide awake and looking at her.
barun sobti's acting at this point was just beautiful. not a word was said, not a muscle moved. just the look, that sliding of the eyes all the way to the suitcase at the door, then the moment before he spoke. everything was in that. especially that fraction of time just before he decided to open his mouth...
and say three little words. a world in them.
jaa rahi ho? are you leaving?
it's not easy to choose words for asr, that economy of expression native to him, that preference for direct, unfussy words, his innate cool... in the midst of a wife abandoning one in the middle of the night, secretly, what would a man say? what would asr say?
the dialogue was deadly... it's delivery even more lethal.
no wonder khushi collapsed. i did too.
an almost hypnotic scene of connecting, of melding, of becoming one followed. quiet, elegant, deep.
and he said the other dialogue that makes me go a little crazy.
"khushi! let's say yeh sab sach hota, toh chhorke chali jaati thi mujhe?"
i want to yell and weep for this man... khushi, let's say all this were true, would you leave me and go away? that "mujhe," always, the "aur main?" the tough guy who so needs to be loved, never abandoned... not again.
the love and need in his voice... the sheer surrender to his love. and even more than that, a very very very pertinent question of a life mate. if things get tough, if mess happens... will you just leave me?
what does loving really mean? being there when all is fine? or being there no matter what? especially when nothing is fine.
a magnificent question and dialogue i thought that was. worth a true ponder. let's say, aarav were his son; let's say, he did indeed have an intimate relationship with sheetal and a child was born that he wasn't aware of; then what... should khushi leave him?
and what if the roles were reversed... what if, khushi were in the same place as he is, would he leave her?
i loved that question... it asked one to examine what is really meant by love.
then he held her close and said, "mujhe pata hai... agar tum koshish bhi karogi, khushi, tab bhi hum alag nahin ho sakte... arnav aur khushi hamesha saath rahenge..."
that breathy voice. sigh.
i know... even if you tried, khushi, we can't be separated... arnav and khushi will always stay together.
again that hamesha... and despite the gorgeous delivery, the voice, i know asr doesn't talk like that. this scene was shot as part of the asr death track. i won't grumble... i won't leave.
thoughts
~ i so liked the way he tackled the aarav is his son issue. direct and straight to the point, first he told his wife what he had to, then he charged into sheetal's room and asked for an explanation, demanded answers. very asr-ish. he will always face a thing straight on, no prevarication and unnecessary waffling. and please no coyness, if i went to bed with you, i'd remember.
"lekin mujhe safai chahiye, khushi!"
but i want an explanation, khushi!
dna report or not, he needs to know.
"agar kuchh hua hoita toh mujhe pata hota.."
if something had happened i would have remembered.
hahaha exactly... nicely said, so unhindi soap.
"yaad hota... aur agar nahin tha toh tumne mujhe kyun nahin bataya?"
i'd have remembered... and if i didn't, why didn't you tell me?
a simple question to sheetal.
"stay!"
i had to faint at the coolly flung monosyllable.
~ sheetal's dialogue had a blanked out portion... was this another sign that story was changed suddenly? i get the feeling part of this episode belongs to the earlier track. the scenes had a lack of continuity in them... why would asr have to go twice to sheetal seeking the same answers? and that obvious bad fit... one moment khushi is promising to stay forever, the next she is leaving.
"kaise batati tumhe, arnav? agle din tumne itni asani se phone karke kah diya... it's over... mujhe realise hua... shayad tum" blanked out bit and jump to, "nahin tha!"
"how could i tell you, arnav? the next day you said so easily on the phone that it's over... i realised... perhaps you..." and a jump to, "wasn't there!"
~ i also liked the way asr empathised with a kid being tossed around in the storm of life. while the overly sweetened, posited on sacrifice (that much misunderstood and abused achhi bahu trait) feelings of khushi for aarav feel tv-ish, even bizarre. his assertion on the other hand, "wahi karenge jo sahi hai" we'll do what's right... nice.
"i promise, main sab theek kar doonga!" as always, he promised everyone, he'll set things right... the need to be on top of things... to make his loved ones comfortable, as though always in some way compensating for all the damage brought upon life by the one who should have made everything all right.
but now, touchingly... there's "as long as tum mere saath ho"... as long as you're with me. her support, her saath he needs. a big change in the i can do it all mr raizada."tumhe kya laga.. tum chup chap chali jaaogi... sab theek ho jaayga?" what did you think, you'll leave and all would be well? a most sensible question, yet said without anger... understanding the pagal ladki he loves perhaps?
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