episodes 133/134/136/137/138 it's in your eyes

time was running out... saansey was about to complete its term, i was still far behind the target 139. only done up to 132. decided to do some ramanchi. i would try and find one scene to talk about in the episodes pending and see what i came up with.

and so i began to search and noticed the moments... "something in the eyes" little scenes that were there right through. almost every episode had them. asr's eyes mainly... once in a way khushi's too.

after the blast and heat of:
"tum samajhti kya ho apne aap ko"... who do you think you are...  you think i am angry because of you... that whatever i do i do because of you... if you think it makes any difference to me your being or not being here... "tumhare hone ya na hone se koi faraq padta hai..." then forget it... you don't even exist for me... do you understand...  tum ho ya na ho... whether you're there or not... kuch kaho, kuch karo... mujhe usse koi faraq nahin padta... whether you say something or do something, doesn't make a damn difference to me...
after that tirade, that spiraling of rage, something seems to have cooled inside this ravaged, man constanty grappling with that edge of raw pain writhing in him, trying to shut out all feelings with desperate ramparts of don't care. but suddenly now there's an easing... especially since she cut the fire with calm... and non aggression. a sort of cleansing perhaps in that outpouring, a detox as it were.

ever since that evening, he is curiously aware of her. and of course, just now in the restaurant her "phree biskut" spin has him reaching desperately for his smug, superior air just in case he should completely melt and show those "pyaar wyaar" feelings he knows nothing of.

i was completely blown away by these scenes coming up. if you string them together it's a gorgeous length of, well this is ipk so it must be pearls, pearls that would never lose nacre or lustre. arnav means ocean, and pearls find so many references and allusions here. sometimes i think, the ocean had all the pearls in him, among them the most precious one, his dil, someone had to dive in and find it. then she came, togged in gota and off centre plait, slip off mojris, pompoms bobbing, and a smile that would cheer up the gloomiest soul. sunny, bright, sparkling a creature, that could reach and light up the darkest corners of the ocean and find those pearls.

how he enjoyed her "khushi" type sanka as they planned the charging of jiji's resistence and uniting akash and payal. a love of their siblings brought them together, but those hours of scheming together, guard down, khushi in filmi overdrive, and then success, achieved together... somehow it all made him feel all sorts of funny things for this jhalli babe.

i must say again, he fell for her at those weird khushi moments... that's when she got right through, past all barriers and reinforced concrete walls, to his heart and left a little mark there that was indelible. permanent damage.

and yes, he did feel a certain something when she fought back and refused to take nonsense from him. i think that fire attracted him too.

anyway, the scenes.

episode 133

here as she tells him to manage akash, he looks at her home and suddenly his mood seems to shift. a bit thoughtful, almost mellow, then he turns and wants to tell her something... "uh, khushi, mujhe tumse kuch... "

uh, khushi, something to you i wanted... the quality of his voice, a little lost. contrite? unsure? the music had changed, become tender, like that day that she told him about the stars.

what did he want to say to her? this was a moment of quiet after the rage the previous evening and all the hectic activity of the day... did he want to tell her he didn't mean those things he'd said? about her not mattering? tum ho ya na ho?

i couldn't figure out, but there was something sort of terribly important he wanted to tell her... however that was not to be since someone had disappeared.

"tum wahan kya kar rahi ho!" what are you doing there?

then the crazy coot talk from the floor... tell me he didn't fall for her then.

a cute exchange:
"akash achha hai... mera bhai hai." akash is good, he's my bro. so innocently arrogant if that makes any sense.

"usske bawajood bhi achchhe hain..." despite that he's nice. at his what the look, khushi's spin on that unwise comeback was really funny.

my favourite line:
"par khushi ek problem hai... tumhara plan bahut stoopid hai... fail ho jaayga." but khushi there's a problem... your plan is very stupid... it will fail. love the way the boy says "stoopid." very delhi... i say stoopid just like that too.

a series of moments from the time he comes to give payal the letter to all four of them walking back happily to the car, where he looked at her, sometimes exasperated, or challenging, but also oddly tender, considering, curious. they even managed to laugh together, he was certainly utterly amused with this melodrama queen. and had to admit her plan, however stoopid, had worked.

though uncomfortable with the plan, he is happy for his brother, and at least once he looks at her with what seemed like acknowledgement; of course, our jhalli is in her hyper, over excited, doer mood and possibly misses it.

his eyes find her again and again and there are so many things they seem to say... but for now she misses most of them, though once in a way there's a meeting of eyes and and a delightful awkwardness in her, always a search in him.

"main baat karoonga, ghar walo ko main sambhal loonga..." i will talk to the family and manage them. when he says that, she looks at him with clear, happy eyes, gentle, grateful, acknowledging.

so she does one part, he the other. partners... team... equals? can't stop looking at her as they walk to the car.


episode 134

"bhai, khushi ji thodi paagal hai... ekdam alag hai," bhai, khushi ji is a bit mad, absolutely different... when akash says that, involuntarily a look in asr's eyes. akash walks away. a pause... music running around the mind...  his face getting softer, he's reflecting upon something rather lovely... a smile lifts a corner of his lips. "haan pagal toh hai..." yes, mad she is. sounded like, "absolutely gorgeous she is." and tell me, what's that look in his eyes. i mean how terribly doting and tender and dreamy must a man look.

"pagal," he said like a man in love on a holi morning, even when he thought she was a harlot, a home wrecker.

such a telling scene this. she is firmly entrenched under his skin... dare i say, in his heart.

when she storms his den with many questions, alleging gross inefficiency and ineffectiveness in his mission, he doesn't yell at her... most unusual. instead, he tries to get her to calm down.

"khushi? relax... calm down... gehrin saans lo," take deep breaths. but she is incapable of such things at this point... too excitable.

and so comes the fabulous...

"shhh!"

a hilarious exchange between the two about the problem at hand. he is trying to stay cool, obviously he's told himself that he can handle miss sanaka. brave fellow. see i'm cool is his air. but she manages to irritate him and the snarl is almost out. madam is delighted, hero is unable to control emotions, gets gussa. she will teach him how to be poised and persuasive and influence mami. after listening to her filmi dialogues for a while, asr has to say what he has to say.

"what crap."

episode 136

  
everyone is at gh, nani ji has come to ask payal's elders for her hand in marriage...  as everyone settles down, khushi goes to shut the door, and his hand comes and touches the door at the same time as hers. his hand covers her hand. neither flinch from the touch. instead, a long, aware look. he seems to just want to look at her... almost searching for something at times. i loved the car keys hanging from his thumb... felt like asr. something terribly active about this character... he strides, he goes up to life, he moves... sometimes mountains. that key looked somehow sexy, don't ask me why.

later his ire at the talk of khushi's fiance and those looks exchanged between them as she knocks on her fiance's door. this man is terribly aware of her. more than ever before.

episode 137

a moment with her when she is troubled... a helping hand on the door, as though to say, "i am here." what an intimate and intense shot up there. the body language is so expressive. they seem to flow into each other, she turns to him, seeking, he look sat her, his body protective almost in stance, eyes looking into hers... need me? i'm, here.

they are just acting, right?

then he lingers... shall i call the doctor... some people feel like your own, even if nothing says so officially.

"kuch dawaiyya ya kuch..."  some medicines or, some... he doesn't just walk away. even when he leaves, a turn back, a bit of thinking, perhaps wondering if he can help her in any way.

later, he returns to apologise to payal.  the sorry is almost blurted out like he couldn't wait to say it. asr never says sorry. "sorry, meri vajah se apki shadi tot gayi... ekbar rishta pukka ho jaye, phir sorry bol doonga..." sorry, because of me your wedding was called off... i thought let the relationship get the nod, then i'll say sorry. an air of urgency, an innocence, an almost vulnerable open face. "maine use jaane se roka tha... i'm really sorry," i stopped her from leaving... i'm really sorry.

and finally, jumping to her defence... "usski koi galati nahin thi," it was no fault of hers. bravo, asr, you've come a long way, baby.

my favourite line, "decide khushi kumari gupta, what do you want?" around that forceful turn around and almost collide into each other... lots of centripetal force here.

then as she is about to answer, he says, you know what... i don't want to know. nice. when his eyes said things, she was too hyper to hear. now her eyes are soft and yielding, so he must run. could be because he could sense the danger... he might melt and become puddle.

no problem. she lets the air out of his tyre and we are treated to another classic bout of comedy.

episode 138
 
as i look at babu ji reacting to anjali, and all the "sya... sya," i am amazed that khushi never made the connection once she found out... she didn't figure out that babuji knew.

138 builds up toward and gets set for the revelation of 139. khushi has picked up enough hints to get really concerned. perhaps a part of her has already arrived at the truth. but it is so shocking maybe she can't process it. 

"tum yahan kya kar rahi ho..." what are you doing here, he asks sensing she's not quite herself. in her confusion and growing suspicion she's wandered into his den... it's him always she needs when she needs real help, like in the hospital... beautiful touch, she does it instinctively.

"kya hua?" what happened? she's silent, eyes lost.

"kuch chahiye tumhe?" do you want something? a little brusque the coice, yet there's concern... and patience.

"kuch baat karni hai?"  do you want to say something? i wonder did he want to hear something from her?  so tender...  seems to bridge right back to 133 and his searching preamble "khushi, mujhe tumse..."

  
she is terribly troubled. her eyes focus but it's brimming with an ominous feeling. she turns and leaves, unable to say what's bothering her.

edit: reading anita's comments reminded me of something i wanted to say here. it's such good story telling and insight, she's found her way to his room... to him, without knowing so consciously. in fact, she's startled to find herself here. it looks as though she's wondering aimlessly in her frazzled state, but she has unerrigly made her way to the place where she needs to come... to him, to find calm, sense, protection. her insides have sensed that care, that protectiveness that flows from him. beautiful. there was never any need to say this was love, you just felt it was. uff if only i could write like that.
 
he goes back to work with an "unbelievable..." maybe, he needs to shake off that unfamiliar feeling of concern and care for this woman who means nothing to him... whether she's there or not, it really makes no difference. faraq nahin padta.


only one piece, this item.

 

completely unedited. hmmm.

......................

feeling arnav ji feeling episodes
episode rambles
fanfiction

episode 136 get the ishara?

koi kissise se milne wala hai...

kaun?

janam janam ke liye, jiji!!

someone is going to meet someone... who?... for all their lifetimes, jiji!

one scene caught my entire attention and floored me this episode. it was a scene that had sort of made me pause and wonder when i first saw it, this time it seemed like the most significant part of story even though it lasted a few long seconds and there was nothing said.

as khushi went to close the door, a masculine hand, wrist covered in white, appeared and covered her fingers, it held a set of keys, car keys you could tell, it stopped the door from shutting. why did newton's laws of motion come to mind even if i barely recall them accurately, force, state of rest, motion, momentum, acceleration...

and the hand slowly pushed the door open.

khushi's eyes widened and her face held an expression one really couldn't read as arnav singh raizada came into view. slowly, deliberately and with unsmiling face. but even in his eyes there was a thing unfathomable, unusual. for a moment, time went calling on some other universe, and they stood vis a vis... just looking at each other.

then he took back the moment, brought it here and walked in almost brushing her aside.

there was a sense of a horizon opening out, some conversation happening in another plane... don't shut the door, i am here... who are you?... it's me... yes, it is you... shall we cross the threshold, go to our next universe... do you understand the ishara... are you here for all my lifetimes? koi kissise milne wala hai... janam janam ke liye...

the doorway has often been a place of story telling in ipk. almost like a border, a gateway to something new, wondrous. one can sense many meanings here or just the plain factual one, but i had a feeling the directors wanted us to read more, sense more. how carefully the shot is taken and edited. the depth of field almost not there as we see only the faces, the gazes, the touch, the stop, the wonder, the feeling of another space where only he and she exist, and a key and two hands colliding accidentally... but really there are no accidents... sometimes i think there's only you and me in this universe... kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta hai, khushi... he says that later.

this was certainly a space where only they were there... and all the laws of motion, as they whirled away igniting each other, in search of nothing and everything toward that inner utter peace.

that key... it looked terrifically masculine dangling from that sure, confident thumb. there was a maleness about it hard to describe or deny, her fragile long fingers never moved or jerked back, as if unconsciously prepared for that touch.

mannat ki chabi. there was always a key somehow symbolic, telling a story. doors were being opened, galaxies crossed, arnav singh raizada was stepping right up and meeting khushi kumari gupta, this was the ultimate chakkar, orbiting... love ka chakkar (as mano memorably said), the wheels and orbits of love.

pretty neat, the way of course on those words editor cut to asr and kkg looking at each other... while we were speaking of payal and akash's love.

the writers and directors had had fun telling the bit they had assigned to this episode. khushi was delighted and it of course manifested in a show of complete sanka... she jumped about and chirped what seemed like nonsense but wasn't and yes, ishara, sign, one of her fave words... writers possibly wanted us to read the ishara.

lifelong commitments were the topic of the day, ostensibly akash and payal's. but look a little away from mami's deadly pink and kundan ire, di's beaming delight, nani ji's gracious progressive words, payal's tremulous joy, akash's happy confusion, bua ji's astonishment, garima's stammering wonder and all you see is a girl in green with the widest grin and something in her eyes, a man flat out killer in white with that same something in his... this is forever.

tum door hi raho toh achha hai... if you stay away it's better, he may snap, but his eyes long for the reverse.

she's put haldi on his cuff. what could be symbolic of a shadi, a wedding.

no, he doesn't eat sweet, she chimes in quickly when bua ji goes to give him mithai.. yeah, she is the one who must watch out for him...

aasmaan, sky, akash.. her charade was all about somehow saying what she was told not to. amma didn't guess akash... but yes, aasmaan, paani tapak raha hai... rain, skies, a man called ocean...

ah allusions. the isharas.

the whole episode was rich in those things.

there was also the endearing straight talk of ipk on nani's lips, something indian serials rarely see... even mami spoke clearly about love/pasand, a family that values tradition but is not blind and mired in things irrelevant. love is a great reason to get married... there is acceptance of that and the positive idea that you still start belonging to each other's families and everyone's happiness is sought through the alliance.

nani saying, yes, mano darling is not pleased but they have "manay rahi" her... that she is nasty on the outside but a lovely person within, that she will keep her daughter in law happy... ah such straight and real talk. there's no doubt nani gives a lot of her directness, her strength, her attitude to her favourite angry grandson.

of course, most times i was passing out looking at asr and nothing registered.

today again khushi was beautiful... a glow almost in her and that wide eyed innocent yet strong appeal. her sunniness was out and bright and not at all affected. her complete dhakdhak sanka in the kitchen, ha ha ha, only kkg, only sanaya.

must say, payal and akash rather sweet. beautifully done sudden proposal by raizadas scene. and why don't we just bury the snake in that room... don't let him escape.

......................

feeling arnav ji feeling episodes
episode rambles
fanfiction