episode 278 a conversation in hamesha

he said it simply, as though he spoke to someone right beside him, or someone right within him. there was no melodrama, nothing unusual in the way he asked, "khushi, sun sakti ho mujhe?"

and you didn't wonder at all when she raised her head in response, obviously she had heard. exactly as you knew she would, exactly as he knew she would. she perhaps wondered for a second if she'd heard right... almost as if understanding that he asked, "can you hear me?" but it was rhetorical in nature. of course, she could hear him.

i have a feeling this poised, completely calm and undramatised layout of the sequence made this conversation which was anything but usual, memorable, believable, beautiful and one of the best pieces of acting and writing and direction i have ever seen. telepathy or a real conversation between lovers, from its very beginning that first time i saw it, was extraordinary and like a gift from someone far away. i saw it on 19 june in 2012, a day that means much to me.

arnav singh raizada's voice sounded tired, it had been many days in captivity and he had intensely ached for her... she had come to him in a dream like space, he could feel her touch on him almost, he looked around wildly when he became conscious again of his dark and harsh cell, he called out "khushi!" a note of despair in his voice, troubled.

notes of kyun dard hai itna could be heard, portraying a state of mind... his... hers.

she heard him, sitting by their poolside miles away, she forlorn and lost, missing him, worried sick for him, almost on the verge of offering herself to the devil, just so she can reach him, in that state she stood where many things had happened between them and sent him her feelings of love... and then he called.

how could she not hear and go frantic. was he calling her? did he need her? then seeing she was alone here still, and knowing that the reality was what it was, she sat by the water and laid her head back, closing her eyes, thinking of him, her pain close to her breath.

when he knew she was not there, for she could not be, he put his head down on his folded arms. was he despondent? defeated?

and then in a clear reflection of that very first time they had met, she closed her eyes, even as he raised his head and opened his. a gust of wind rose and began to wrap two worlds together.

he looked around as if sensing something, maybe by now he knew when they were in sync, that pata chal jata hai thing. then with complete faith, believing this is possible, the one who always searched for rational veracity and validation opted for vishwas and took that essential leap of faith to ask... can you hear me?

the voice had balance and grace in it, there was control. this was not a desperate call, his reason was keenly functioning at the moment. his dimaag had not taken leave, it was routing the message of his heart his dil with maximum focus, there was an objective, a target... he meant to reach it.

and she smiled and said in reply... "hamesha!"

always, i can always here you.had the conversation ended just there itself, it would have filled one with wonder, but they had a proper chat after this, a heart to heart, where two people told each other some things they simply needed to.

he knew where she might be, even in his grim surroundings, thought of her brought the light of stars. "tum taarey dekh rahi ho na?" you are looking at the stars, aren't you, he asked.

"aapke aur hamare amma babu ji ko dekh rahi hoon," she replied she was looking at their parents.

 

in her pale yellow anarkali with wide gota border, her hair open, a glossy lipstick on slightly plumped up lips as though she had been crying, her body language fluid and graceful, she looked lovely, even more than usual, as if dressed for her man, waiting in the moonlight just for him.

along with remarkable acting there was direction that was sensitive and measured, an deep understanding of the emotion of this moment. in talash, which i saw a few months ago, kareena kapoor portrays the role of a girl who is always amidst us, yet not. she is really the spirit of a girl who is visible only to the male protagonist. this is revealed at the end. yet right through, kareena's performance and the details a director and the cinematographer added managed to create a sort of "separate" space for her within the frame.

here too, i felt, that sense of "otherness" being created, another space. one which not everyone can go to. perhaps that "kahin aur ek jagah" which ranjha had spoken of. they were both shown mainly in profile shots. they spoke sitting by themselves with voices turned slightly inward, a sense of reverie and reminiscence in their tone. she looked lovely, his eyes glittered. their words flowed and it was as if both could not only hear but also see the other.

"hamare parents ko..." our parents, he said. the dialogue writers as always gave him asr's words perfectly.

she responded to that... he had never said such a thing before.

he had to confide in her while marveling at the state of things, a faint smile on his face,"tumhe pata hai agar yeh baat mujhe kissine ek sal pahle kahi hoti, toh main usspe vishwas nahin karta..." if someone had said this to him a year back of course he wouldn't have believed it.

she smiled... yeah, she knows that.

"lekin aaj... ab mujhe lagta hai ki yeh baat sach hai..." but now, it seems to him that this is true. a simple direct statement. once asr gets something, he gets it and he sees no need to hide it or fight it or demur in any way. when his heart beat for her and he connected khushi's name to it, he accepted something his sister had gone on about and he had merrily pooh poohed.

now this about the stars. like truly strong people he is not essentially rigid though it may seem like that.now this being a normal chat, khushi had to tell her husband, hey this is not about true and false, i told you this was about belief, "humne aapse tab bhi kaha tha na baat sach ya jhoot ki nahin hai, baat vishwas ki hai."

she has had to hold onto this vishwas ever since she was a child, and today more than ever she needs this vishwas. how beautifully is this telepathic communication placed. just when she needs it most, he tells her i have belief in your belief... beautiful writing. they could have written anything they liked for this conversation and it would have made us sit up. but this is about somewhere khushi and asr coming together in a bond of vishwas.

the kind of bond you need to vanquish evil.

"ek atoot vishwas..." an utter belief, unbreakable, said khushi... felt as though she really needed it now.

you made me believe in this belief, he said, laughing a bit, arnav singh raizada does not believe in such things, they seem most flaky to him... but yet, that first time when he had cried for his mother alone and she had joined him to console him and tell him about her parents becoming stars, even then he had asked, can my mother see me? does she like what she sees.

we all forget when we see this stylish young man how ruthlessly his life has been shaken and turned upside down. inside him a child still wanting the love of a mother, a place of peace and solace. he had needed to have this faith and life sent him a girl who was all about that.

"tumne mujhe iss vishwas pe vishwas dilwaya..." then with a break in his voice and a smile, his submission to a feeling, a person, "yeh kya kar diya, khushi tumne mere saath..."

what is this you did with me, khushi. to allow someone in so much, to accept their importance in your existence, to submit to and embrace that feeling... ah love, what it does to us.

and then one day you are practically in each other... in moments of difficulty and despair, even when you are miles and more apart, all you have to do is quieten all the noise within and without, open your heart and

just talk.

"itni koshish ki, maine itni zyada koshish ki tumse nafrat kar sakoon," how hard he has tried to hate her... she listens intently, heaving, feeling the pain of that nafrat that perhaps she feared was what he would give her...

"par main tumse nafrat kar hi nahin paya, mera khudka dil meri baat hi nahin maanta," but no, he couldn't hate her, his own heart wouldn't listen to him. he sounded almost shocked, imagine not listening to asr.

again in this rare moment we enter the crux of ipk... nafrat, mohabbat. the hate that would keep them apart seems to have been defeated by a love where even distance can't keep them apart.

she confesses, with a pout that too, now easing into this conversation, believing he is just here somewhere, that she had tried hard too, but failed, because her heart too would not yield, "aur humne kitni koshish
ki apse pyaar na karne ke liye. lekin hamare dilne bhi hamari baat nahin maani."
hey... hey... hey hey, the song of love will not stay quiet now.

he smiles... she feels things...
he rests back against the wall, reminiscing how whenever he was near her, he wanted to go away, yet the moment he did, he longed to be with her."lekin jaise hi tumse door jaata hoon... hamesha tumhare paas aane ka khayal rahta hai."

she opens her eyes. and now comes his ultimate realisation...

"i don't need anything else, khushi... i don't need anything."

all he needs is her... not even love. just khushi.

i have to just stay quiet and feel the beauty of this one sentence and the way it was said and heard.

so very real is this character. barun made asr say each and every word, not barun sobti the man who has loved a girl for years and is married to her... he seemed to rediscover the feeling of love as asr would experience it.

sanaya irani reached right into khushi and found her feelings, touched it with a little bit of sanka and a young girl's vulnerability and spoke into the night. she was almost 30 at the time, into a long term relationship, certainly no girl of 20 in love for the first time.

the loving wife companion mate consoled her lover who is in difficulty, who yearns for her, who is so far away... a maternal instinct almost to soothe, to make feel better.

"aap paas raho ya door par ho toh hamare saath hi na... yeh dooriyan hamare rishtey ko kamzore nahin bana sakti, kyunki hum ek doosre ko sun sakte hain, mehsoos kar saktey hain," near or far, you are always with me... distance can't weaken our relationship, because we can hear each other, feel each other...

he listened to her words. he smiled, strains of rabba vey floated up.

"ek doosre se baate kar sakte hain... abhi bhi hum baat hi toh kar rahe hain na?" we can talk to each other... that's what we are doing right now, aren't we? she asked, a childlike fey note in her voice, almost wanting him to say, yes, yes we are, this is real... i am here.
you are with me, and very soon i will bring you back, she said... her face fell a bit, she missed him so much...a little tearful.

"yeh hamara vada hai, arnav ji," this is my promise to you, she averred.

there was a sad loneliness in the air. she put her hand on her heart... a million memories of dhadkane, saansey and dhakdhak went through my thoughts... on this planet, in this existence, their tie is established in the heartbeat, in the purest place in us perhaps, our sanctum sanctorum.

the heartbeats could be heard, and no though it's all sound effects and that too not the most sophisticated sort, it does not sound corny, it almost reassures.

piano notes came in, familiar, on their way to love.

and she asked him what he had started the whole conversation with, about being able to hear... you knew you were nearing the end of telepathy... nafrat had come, so had vishwas... now it was time for dhadkane. 

"aap sun sakte hain... hamare dil ki dhdkan..." you can hear my heart beats, can't you? she asked

he listened carefully...there it was... right in him...

a smile and "haan", yes, he said. she looked up.

"hamesha..." a completely asr short crisp sure hamesha. always.

5:05 said the counter. five minutes of scaling barriers, touching a place beyond and knowing yes, out there, somewhere, that other plane exists.

can human beings communicate in this manner? there was much noise the next day on the forum about this scene. i have no idea how i'd have reacted if it had not been executed with this smooth glissading tenor. i do believe that when you truly love and your heart is clean and selfless, your touch eternity... or so it feels like. it is a hard to explain feeling, but yes, if you can hear another's heart... you connect to yet another dimension of reality... or surreality if you like.

from the beginning ipk has touched on connection and something more than the here and the now. many love stories have done that, question is which ones did so convincingly. and beautifully in its own specific way. so you were touched and you felt its deeper recesses, sensed a universal story there.

have to say, when asr and khushi spoke like that it felt as though that's exactly what really happened.

 

the rest of the episode saw khushi take the plunge and go even deeper into luring shyam. while i found it creepy to see this whole thing, if i were in khushi's place i'd do anything to save arnav ji too... plus the writers were hugely stuck i think and decided to bring in an element of illicit yearnings and their bearing on things to keep the audience there, perhaps repulsed but yet fascinated. often repulsive things have that ability to make us want to look.

nk as friend and "sakha" urged khushi to think of what's to be done next and not get emotional.
in a weird parallel and perhaps to keep the episode balanced with a bit of humour we had payal fretting about party and bua ji telling her to come over so they can plan the way forward.

and anjali saw khushi standing right by her husband with a spoon of kheer in her hand, about to feed him, gave khushi a cool look too, yet later, none of all this would she recall later...

fifteen minutes passed by, the mind stayed talking and listing to the first five minutes. somewhere in it was hamesha.

......................

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