a play of life i guess, sometimes our worst enemies bring us the richest gifts. when shyam came to give advice to his saale saab he had no idea what he'd actually end up doing. at the start of episode he'd played a really low game with his trusting, loving wife. pretended the girl for whom an incorrect emotion was cultivating in him, was actually someone's mother. and continued to smile with an undertone of desire at the thought of khushi. felt illicit, was so too.
then lavanya was brought home by asr, all would have gone well, but again nani couldn't reconcile herself to this whole notion. especially seeing lavanya in her revealing clothes and hearing her even more bare all words. she knew nothing about things that were important to nani ji and her family. arati was alien, eggs entered a vegetarian household, then the sitting close to her chhote, asking him to show her his bathroom so she could go for a shower, and at nani ji's objection to her staying in asr's room, la's suicidal explanation about the meaning of living in.
utterly enraged, the matriarch ordered the staff to show la to the guest room. irked by the way his girlfriend had just been spoken to, her grandson seethed and threatened to leave home... with lavanya... if this behaviour continued.
keeping in mind the sentiments of most viewers and the demands of story, writers didn't take it all the way to asr insisting, la will stay in his room and nowhere else. months later, his defence of khushi before a judgmental, hard hearted dadi will have a similar strain but a million times enhanced. where my wife is not welcome, there's no place for me. however at this point, he is committed to a partner, but not head over heels in love with her. his sense of self is not tied to this person, he wants la to be treated with courtesy and not be insulted just because she has a different point of view on marriage and other traditional things. plus, she is a guest in their home as he points out to nani.
so he let it pass after a seriously angry retort, choosing to stalk off to his room instead; and take off his jacket swiftly, in characteristic asr angry mode. how wonderfully barun created this man with gestures clearly visible, and many tiny details you'd miss but they'd make asr more and more real: the way he'd stare with unblinking gaze at the computer, utterly absorbed, the way he'd walk when angry, the sudden glint in the eye, the mask like expression in the initial days, eyes different only when looking at khushi. how effective he was and what the reach of this level of performance was got even clearer to me this afternoon.
a friend of mine was in cambodia recently, and the manicurist at the parlour told her she was very fond of watching an indian soap. really? which one? she couldn't say the name since it was in cambodian, but she said, you know it has that boy who's always angry. the girl doesn't know hindi. she watches a dubbed version, so she doesn't even hear barun sobti's voice. yet, she loves that angry fellow.
back to shyam manohar jha. he was instrumental in crafting the moment that made the episode for me. while warming to his theme of how to handle opposition and manipulate people to achieve one's own end, he told asr:
"saale saab, yaad rakhiye... kaman se nikla hua teer, aur zaban se nikla hua shabd kabhi wapis nahin liya ja sakta..."
remember, saale saab, the arrow that's left the bow, and the word that's left the tongue can never be taken back...
asr's attention was arrested. shyam went on,
"aur zindagi koi video player toh hai nahin ki rewind button dabaye aur galti sudhaar li."
and life isn't a video player that you'd press the rewind button and correct your mistake.
galati. sahi galat. main sahi hoon. asr's eyes changed tone, he got up slowly from his bed, disengaged in a moment from all around, deep in his fortress, he stood staring at nothing, expression deepening in his eyes, he almost braced himself for what was coming...
and a hand reached a pearl dori on a vulnerable back and snapped it ruthlessly.
a terrified pair of eyes looked at him, tears rolling down tender cheek.
he let go of a hand, and she fell backward, shock seizing her expression... down onto the boxes below.
he pushed her against a drum, holding her wrists tightly that storm tossed night, her eyes welled up, he'd cut her wrist, blood oozed out.
he remembered everything he'd done that was galat, not right, toward her. and now she was going away, there she stood telling him to be happy, never again would he see her face. going to lucknow hamesha ke liye.
i realised he did sorely regret these actions of his. and it was this early in the story, not months later. in fact, he was not the sort of man to treat a woman in such a way. yet, with her he seemed to just overstep the limit, he had no idea why. he'd asked himself in the rain the night he saved her from an oncoming car, why is it that for the first time i feel what i'm doing is not right? but then he'd averred, no... main sahi hoon. arnav singh raizada ko kissi ladki se koi faraq nahin padta. no, i am right... no girl makes a difference to arnav singh raizada.
it was important for asr's own self image to be sahi. but this internal acknowledgment of his being wrong had more to do with her than his idea of himself. he didn't want to be like that with her, he wished perhaps there were indeed a rewind button. he knew there wasn't.
and she was going away. how he regretted it. she, about whom he couldn't stop thinking, just now when he entered with lavanya and di did arati, his mind flew to khushi, there she was doing arati during teej, and now...
he stood there motionless, taut, his fists closed tightly... a swallow as though moved beyond a point, a moistness in his eyes... camera moved in, shallow erratic breathing. saansey hi ruk jaygi.
stunning minutes of emotion, recognition of error, and immersing in a feeling.
if this was the end, at the beginning, another meaningful wordless scene. one with khushi. this time devi maiyya played the move herself. payal asked khushi if she'd forgotten to take something? wasn't she bringing dm along? khushi actually had forgotten to put her in her bag. so hassled she was after throwing that made up on the spot, going to lucknow story at him. now it was a reality, but she wasn't sure of her decision.
she sat on the bed, dejected, talking nonstop.
"jiji, pata nahin humne sahi faisla liya hai ki nahin. kash kahin se hume aisa ishara milega jo kahega ki khushi, tumne bilkul sahi faisla liya hai."
jiji, don't know if i took the right decision. if only a sign would come from somewhere saying, khushi you've taken absolutely the right decision.
sahi faisla... right decision. what's galat, what's sahi. some day, they will cross these limits and realise some things are beyond all that.
not that such signs were given to her usually, she muttered. charming quintessential khushi by sanaya. one part of her all nutty and innocent girl, the other a woman who feels the unease within, a call of someone in her. was going away the right thing to do?
then realising her folly, she jumped up and picked dm up with both hands, full of apology. the goddess's chunari fell off, was this a symbol of uncovering of a truth? a revelation?
and khushi saw him leaping to catch and save dm in that storeroom, the two of them falling, him upon her, their eyes meet, and hold. rabba vey swirled in.
khushi put dm down on the desk. unbearable pain. khushi is silent.
a few other thoughts.
i always felt a funny sort of tenderness toward la. despite her seeming hardness, and shallow demeanour, she was a girl with many possibilities. and she was independent. willing to take risks. capable of true love. even at this moment her love for asr was genuine. and she was smart enough to sense what asr felt for her was nowhere near what she felt for him. but she, who'd eat eggs which she was allergic to because he liked eggs, would let her ego take a back seat just to be close to him. how touching that moment when she said in the earlier episode: i know what you're going to tell me, the plan to move in with you is off. she always feared this was not going to work out. sixth sense of a canny girl? and no matter how harsh he was, no complaints. she just needed him more than he needed her. that's how relationships sadly often are, aren't they? the writers seemed to forget she was allergic to eggs... or maybe she made that cake specially for him.
an episode rich in expressions and interaction between family members, its power outlay and the games within that.
mama ji: bhai, kaa khichadi pakaa rahe ho aap dono.
hey, what are you two cooking up...
ah, sign of things to come, mama ji was an endearing character, so much potential. but the khichadi that the ph, channel, and creatives pakaaoed was too strong for his tastes i guess.
shyam: waise achhi toh woh bahut hain...
oh, she is very nice...
but you are bure, bahut bure.
la: tumhara room kahan hai.
where's your room?
asr: main dikhata hoon.
let me show you.
crisp language, i like. smooth voice, hmmm. and if anyone had any doubts as to their level of sexual intimacy, those seven words say it all.
akash: ma, please!
so sweet our akash was, again why did they go and make such a khichadi of his character.
asr: shadi aur baki riti riwazon se mera koi lena dena nahin hai. and i've had enough.
i am not interested in weddings and other rituals. and i've had enough.
aw, i love the angry man, i've had enough of everyone badgering him. what's more, i have no issues with him wanting to live life his way.
nani ji: theek hai hum ek mahina ki maholat dete hain...
okay, i'll give you a month...
nice condition, writers making way for khushi to come back.
mami ji: half people wahan gayen, half people eehan gaye, ab hum kahan jai, hello hi bye bye.
half the people have gone there, the other half have gone here, where should i go, hello hi bye bye.
just one of the many gems from the lady this episode. like pearls on khushi's dori, mami ji's utterances fall one by one, the sound echoing long after the words are gone.
......................
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