thrilling man.. otherwise no way would i let him into my head... i couldn't, too jaded i am. he had such absolute cut through. before i knew it... he had got me with that look in his eyes on diwali... and later as i od-ed on the episodes.
that diwali walk, look, the body language... what pitching. it could have easily become lecherous or wooden and stilted (as often is the case with most actors on telly, even films). there is something so fluid and rounded in barun's acting, so sure... at 27 to have that without the benefit of any training or even posh upper class upbringing, no real travel... just from watching some movies and wanting to be good at acting a role (do it better than the actor, as he said in an interview), astonishing really.
i often found it hard to believe that i was reacting in this way. (in a way he was the khushi in my life and had made place for himself even before i realised it.)
first recognition though was instinct's. back in shraddha, that first time i saw him, when tv would be on, just for noise.
he looked nothing like he did as asr... not at all well groomed, so so young and callow. yet something kept saying, look at the fellow. he's different. head kept saying nah, he is just another tv actor... eyes, however, remained glued whenever he was on screen. i started paying attention to this really erm serial.
i went and found out his name... i usually never bother.
his name was barun, ha not varun... that's different, i thought.
and he was from delhi. i smiled. that's the reason something feels like i know it... he's from the city where i was a teenager and had all my crushes (well almost all), one just had to have crushes on those great looking guys... the hep ones
. yeah, delhi boy... i must have recognised something delhi in him, i thought.never ever did i think he'd turn out to be an actor i would watch unblinking. it was only on the night of the terrace i realised, he was not just a good looking guy with a hot rendition of a mills and boon man...
this here was an actor.
worked back to day one... and yes, there he was, trying to be asr... acting the best he could. and he really could. otherwise, despite not the best fitting suit and the slightly awkward movements, why was i staring and thinking of the godfather. his walk to sheesh mahal was perhaps a bit stagey, but the thing in his eyes... how does a young man get so much pulled into a couple of irises... and i loved the walking out of sheesh mahal... something in his body as he walked away, having done what he had come to and yet feeling stuff he didn't think he would... his breathless voice... that first palat... that hai na... chacha ji.
i haven't seen this in too too long. that youth and yet a grandness in it.
offbeat movies... from international cinema, movies i don't know the names of, actors i am not familiar with, come to mind...
phenomenon. they called rajesh k that. for me though...
i better stop, indu. but you know what i mean. you went through that this can't be happening on my tv in the sitting room thing yourself.
this new asr... this has something so so ordinary and bland in it. barun is not being directed well, nor excited... he is just doing a job. sad. i do hope he nurtures what he does have... and i see a bit of it in his films or wherever. it is precious.
wrote this while chatting with indu, a good friend, and pondering barun, asr as ipkknd ek jashn episodes got going.
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