if on one side there's the rise of evil, on the other the incredible assertion of a powerful feeling. nainital was just red herring maybe. we chased the physical journey and were lured into believing getting there was what it was all about; all those milestones, roads, meetings to catch and miss. but in reality perhaps, the journey was from somewhere else to somewhere else.
the road passed through an uncharted route of never before felt emotions, many detours into familiar anger and even more familiar sanka or madness if you will, but try as these two delusion creating mental antics might, the path remained clear and its destination had to be reached. khushi knew what this destination was called. asr simply called it "what rubbish."
it is sad but to reach this point, there had to be a paying of toll. the man for whom khushi was the most loved one, settled it with his health, his happiness, his ability to be protector, his primary role in life. babu ji took physical blows from shyam in his darkest incarnation, but strangely it brought the brightest light to his chhutki's life.
a dark boot, a dark scary room in a dhaba, a dark evil man, each one shows the way to a place lit with feelings that are new, pure, innocent, eternal, and sometimes blazing with desire. milestones all, taking us now at hurtling heart thudding speed towards a very dark night lit by lamps. and luminous desire.
close she is, so close, on top of him she lies on that scatter of bright diwali colours. rangoli... rang... she is that colour so missing from his life, but right now she's here... on him, trying to get up, then slipping and falling and he feels her against him even more, so close, he can't think...
"uss shirt ne kya galati ki hai?" what's that shirt done now? asks anjali... his reverie breaks.
"huh..." that's all he can manage, still trying to move out of the circle of the touch of that feeling, slowly coming back to here and now.
if khushi is making arnav jalebi, her very own; he is caught in the swirls of her khushiness too, and not too eager to extricate himself.
"tum toh meelo door kisi khayalon mein ghum ho..." you were miles away lost in thought. anjali has been noticing chhotey looking not quite himself, ever since khushi's dad went to hospital.
"bas haan hoon yehi kar rahe ho..." you just keep doing yes... huh...today's episode opened on one of the freshest, most natural and utterly bro sis scenes. a fabulous relationship, two young, good looking siblings, devoted to each other, yet with that fun and edge of close siblings. di is cute bossy interfering, chhotey is cool, get off my back sis, yet so very indulgent. they just can't do without each other. and today di means to interfere madly. she is worried about her li'l bro. why is he so lost and fuzzy all the time? the shatir tycoon?
chhotey, you have no idea what's going on around you.
"di, aisa kuch nahin hai..." he turns away, cutting off.
she persists... di, after all.
"aisa hi hai..." it's just as i say it is. and you're refusing me too... do you know when this sort of thing happens to us?
even if i know, you'll tell me, right? di nods. so go ahead. and must this man look that good while saying these mundane things.
happens in two situations, either when you're very busy with some work...
"doosri baar jab?" and otherwise when?
"doosri baar jab pyaar ho jaay," otherwise when you're in love.
"what rubbish, di..." gruff, dismissive voice, a little low, (horribly unsettlingly sexy) oh so younger brother going nuts at elder sis's flakiness.
"main... pyaar?..." me... love?
"chhotey relax, hum sirf bata rahe hain... aur hum jaantey hai ki kaam ko leke tum pareshaan ho..." relax, bro, i know you are worried about work...
"aur pyaar? pyaar toh tumhe hai hi," and love? you are already in love...
an electric look from him. swift, alert, shocked... darting of irises brown, what... what does di know, what is she saying what...
not a word, she is smiling, he just keeps looking at her, as though he can't bring himself to say anything... no smart quip, no what the, no nothing...
she waves her hand in front of his face to bring him back, he's startled, so lost so nonplussed so struck by a feeling.
"di, yeh pyaar wyaar sab nonsense hai..." all this love and things are nonsense, he's trying to get a grip on the situation again.
"nonsense, kya nonsense?" what nonsense, says di... everyone knows, you love la.
a storm of feelings passes through those irises as he guards them with his lids. shock, a trace of guilt and a feeling that he has no idea what's hit him. he turns and slams the wardrobe door. the sheer frustration of his uncontrollable mind, his thoughts, no he is not used to this, he doesn't like it.
he can let go of that feeling that bothers him now and come to tackle his di's superstitious instincts with his brusque, "this is blind faith, andh vishwas, and i don't believe in such things." this is stuff he can handle, but here too he fails. that heart of his, so tender toward the women in his life. look at what di's doing with him. making fun of his refusal, telling him, no point upsetting her, because later he'll have to chase her around saying sorry sorry, might as well give in now and do as she says. then her little moue of feigned sadness... you won't even do this little thing for me. anjali's eyes are button like, brimming with love, laughter and the ha gotcha thing, he narrows his eyes, assesses the effort versus result ratio, cleverly gives in...of course, looking a dish right through. the man who knows his math so well, has no idea how much love he is capable of and he just a man of dimaag not dil? what rubbish.
oh that leeetul smile when she does that sad face. sorry had to take a gah he's good looking break.
when colour came to his life, he wasn't prepared. for he had blocked it all out ages ago. love? what a ridiculous idea. certainly not for him. yet what had been difficult earlier, now had turned fairly impossible. not thinking of her. everything triggered memories of a girl. a girl whom he couldn't bear to see hurt. whom he's dumped on the road, only to go running to her when he heard she was in trouble, and how she had raced to him, snuggling close to his heart. what he couldn't tell her then he said in perhaps his first telepathic thought sent to her... don't worry, everything will be alright. her father was down. he knew of the pain of parents troubled, parents gone. he just had to make her happy while she was in this mess. and so he had been good to her in ways that he could, trying to make her smile.
but was that the only reason? then why is it that when he remembered falling on that rangoli with her, he felt her slipping and falling once again on him, her body pressed against his, his arm around her?
what was happening to him?
but still the most important take away of episode... hair cut... stick out ears... sorry, ladies, not sharing.
.........
He looked so good in this episode, I couldn't even concentrate X)
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