"the minute i heard my first love story,
i started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
they're in each other all along."
~~~ rumi, the illuminated rumi ~~~
yet it seemed as though they were meeting for the very first time. as though he'd never set eyes on her. not that night in sheesh mahal a couple of weeks ago, not right here in this very room just a few minutes ago.
there
was something utterly different in this moment. something elemental.
wind water earth sky, amazing light. and a breath caught.
go
there, jeff had said, he wanted to see her in the light. she walked to
the set and began to turn to face the camera. diffident, unsure, tense,
beautiful in flowing red. at that very moment, as often happens i guess
when fate says "it is time", he came down the staircase to see what
progress had been made on the held up shoot. his eyes fell on her. he wasn't prepared at all, maybe that's why it struck him so hard.
his dark brown pupils grew dense, his body jerked to a standstill, an
explosion in his gaze, and i could almost feel his breath gather and
freeze. "laga jaise hamari saansey ruk gayee", seemed as if my breath stopped... from an episode more than
a year later floated by, tying future to past as i watched rapt.
he
couldn't control this shattering moment. in that instant something
broke and she entered him. boundaries fell away, another reality was
touched. the last lines from harold pinter's beautiful love poem written
for his wife came to mind: it was the breath we took when we first met. listen, it is here.
and
on this ethereal landscape someone stepped in to create another
dimension. rabba vey. 16 minutes into episode 22, as she turned and he
saw her in a sheath of intoxicating crimson, the delicate notes of rabba
vey... hey hey, hey hey hey... the yearning, upward reaching melody,
which became part of our lives, was heard for the very first time.
would he ever be able to look away?
for
about two and a half minutes from that point on, it was poetry, in
perfect metre. not a hair out of place, just deliriously windblown. his
gaze finally move down to take all of her in, his hands rested on her
nervous fingers, fidgeting. the tiniest movement in his eyes, unspoken
barrage of emotions. arousal, hunger, immersion, was there also
tenderness, something protective at the sight of one so defenceless,
though he was held in thrall?
"... the heart is an organ of fire."
her pallu slipped and she moved to hold it in place, reminded me of her diaphanous dupatta that spoke almost as much as she did, only silently. it fell off leaving her feeling vulnerable and scared once, another time it blew up in the wind and caressed his face, and now in the guise of saree, it tugged her attention and took it to the right place. she looked straight into his eyes. and saw his different gaze. she stood motionless, hand on pallu.
~~~ michael ondaatje ~~~
her pallu slipped and she moved to hold it in place, reminded me of her diaphanous dupatta that spoke almost as much as she did, only silently. it fell off leaving her feeling vulnerable and scared once, another time it blew up in the wind and caressed his face, and now in the guise of saree, it tugged her attention and took it to the right place. she looked straight into his eyes. and saw his different gaze. she stood motionless, hand on pallu.
a
myriad emotions rend the night. i could almost touch their locked
gazes. fear, torment, trepidation but more, yes there was awareness
there. he was not just a monster, but a man. and she was all woman. not a
single physical touch in the entire scene, yet they seemed to came
together in the wildest convulsive embrace.
she
collected herself and pulled up the pallu. he was suddenly reminded of
his surroundings and did his best to pull himself together.
he
walked up toward her, as if propelled by some other force. ever since
he's met this woman, so separate from his world, it's as though he just
can't stay away. whenever they are together, his steps take him to her.
she retreats, but he is in continuous advance. this time too. and yet
when he reaches her, he has nothing to say. or maybe they were saying
things to each other that even they didn't know?
lavanya breaks the reverie. real world calls. and arnav singh raizada reaches out to grab his anger. familiar, steady, useful anger. his most trusted defence. you can almost feel his relief at finding this emotion. for everything before this was unlike anything he'd ever felt and it had shaken him up, scared him even maybe.
lavanya breaks the reverie. real world calls. and arnav singh raizada reaches out to grab his anger. familiar, steady, useful anger. his most trusted defence. you can almost feel his relief at finding this emotion. for everything before this was unlike anything he'd ever felt and it had shaken him up, scared him even maybe.
he
is about to start the battle afresh, bend her to his will, make her
quit. but again, like an angel out of the blue, jeff steps in. let her
be in this. he was the first one to see her in the red saree, and his
photographer's instinct knew it worked. "hot, beautiful, phir bhi
traditional," in jeff's mouth the most physical words of the episode.
hot.
yes, she was that, though she was not aware of it. in her usual plucky
way she'd refused to give in. no "aadha adhoora kapda" for her, "hum
haar nahin manenge" i'm not accepting defeat, she'd prayed to dm for help and put together this
ensemble from the racks of clothes in the dressing room. a saree, that
was from her land, where she had grown up, got educated, and she wasn't
about to lose her tradition and values for some laad governor and his
spoilt brat model, let alone peremptory girlfriend. "nahin ma'am, hum
woh ajeeb kapde nahin pahen sakte." no, ma'am, i can't wear those weird clothes. so she had done what she felt was
right. and oh yes it was. he on the other hand, had insisted, "the shoot
is on, jeff. yeh shoot hoga." arnav singh raizada apna kismat khud
banata hai. arnav singh raizada makes his own kismet. between the two of them, they had engineered this undeniable
moment. wonder if they ever realised that?
akash
does a marvelously diplomatic number on bhai, and finally, the mighty
one gives in. "go on," he utters, and walks away, as gracefully as he
had come in, and even as he arcs away, his head turns as if he just has
to and he looks into her eyes. she's looking right back, and the
conversation goes on. as rabba vey comes in for the second time...
"when two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you've got two new people."
~~~ john steinbeck ~~~
one
of the most superbly crafted scenes of ipk for me. the rest of the
episode was tight and developed on shyam's villainy, anjali's helpless
love, nani ji's protective instinct toward her grand children. but today i
can't think of anything but this :) .
from
the light to red to dark of yesterday, we've been coming here, to dark,
red, and blinding light. the colours were primary, primal almost as the
desires and instincts explored.
there
was hardly any movement in the scene; only of him moving in and out,
while tresses in the breeze, eyes in emotion, lights glinting, and the
stirring climb of rabba vey echoed and gave body to the sense of motion.
they seemed to all be tied together in a wonderfully choreographed
dance. an invisible string holding them together.
arnav,
the sea, seemed to flow toward his shore. flow and ebb, are you my
shore, are you my home? who are you? while khushi, happiness, waited
with a still expectant air, edged by fear, confusion, incomprehension.
what's going on? why can't i look away? who are you?
"oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
it seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
like a rich jewel in an ethiope's ear,
beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.
so shows a snowy dove trooping with crows
as yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.
the measure done, i'll watch her place of stand,
and, touching hers, make blessed my rude hand.
did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!
for i ne'er saw true beauty till this night."
~~~ romeo on seeing juliet for the very first time, william shakespeare, romeo and juliet, act 1 scene 1
"a
kind of light spread out from her. and everything changed color. and
the world opened out. and a day was good to awaken to. and there were no
limits to anything."
~~~ john steinbeck, east of eden ~~~
asr wasn't the only one. i couldn't look away from khushi today. barun did his usual thing. but et tu, sanaya? how to survive this.
......................
episode rambles fanfiction
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