episode 19 the resignation

"abhay sharma, chhati tees, kamar chalees, doley unnees..."

"ravinder singh, untalees, unattees, solah..."

"kamlesh pandey, chalees, unatees, satrah..."

"akash pathore, athtees, tees unnees..."

"aur lakshya verma, unatees, tees, athara... ab kya, sir?"

"huh?!"

"there are 
so many positions of
love:
each curve on a branch,
the thousand different ways
your eyes can embrace us,"
~~~ hafiz ~~~

smug to stumped in six sentences flat. poor poor arnav singh raizada. resign, he'd said, if you can't take their measurements and don't forget to collect your salary on the way out, nor hand over that cheque of a lakh of rupees. poor man, he had no idea whom he'd taken on. crazier than all other devis, this was sanka devi herself. jai ho.

"aur kya?"

studying expressions, their mercurial shifts, their many unspoken messages, was delightful this episode. started with that astounding play across the face of asr. in contrast, a smiling, chirpy khushi, and a completely dumfounded lavanya. did khushi just make asr go "huh" in its most d-uh rendition ?

yet he didn't let lavanya into the confrontation between khushi and himself. already they seem to have a private space, vis a vis, nothing in between.

"intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and find that that's ok with them."

~~~ alain de botton ~~~

why do i get the feeling that her plucky nature finds a response in him, that even he doesn't know. barundiwani pointed out how he was the only one in the room who was totally relaxed when she barged into the conference room in an earlier episode. i recall he sort of looked at her in this curious enquiring way, almost wanting to hear what this girl splashed with paint had to say. and he gave her that chance. he, who barked and yelled at everyone and brooked no insubordination or questioning from anyone, why was he giving this chance to a perfect stranger?

this time he steps in between lavanya and khushi, and then that almost gentle, definitely sexy, "get out."

khushi pays the price of being different, in an indifferent to the point of being cruel work place. touching, sanaya's khushi on that phone call to shyam. but she doesn't lose her fighting spirit. she'll manage everything.

when she's hurt by the caricature of asr vs khushi, disturbed about being reduced to a game, a tamasha, again the wise words of manju. life is a mixed bag of different tastes, depends what you make of it. however bitter it may be now, this will pass, and soon it will be... jalebi time. i enjoyed the way she relished her life saving drug, the jalebi, then feeling strong again walked up to the scoreboard and carefully removed one plait from her caricature. only one choti, ab theek hai. 

identity. without it who are we really? a subtle claiming back and assertion of herself, beautiful. 

shyam is getting more and more firmly entrenched in the gupta household and bua ji's heart. why the sudden accident? and the crutches? another story opened never to be told or just an adjustment to accommodate abhaas mehta's leg injury in ad (asli duniya, our real world)? whatever it was, it worked to notch up bua ji's lau and concern, while payal remained wary of this stranger taking over her aunt's home.

in rm, mamiji and her one track mind chased the question of her bitwa's marriage in her usual crass way. "ee loh phuroot khao... bahut beak ho gayi ho..." here, have some fruit, you've become very weak (as in beak), she settled down to a chat her niece in the hope of prying information and somehow getting arnav to marry. 

unfortunately, nani walked in on the tete a tete and today she was in a foul mood. mamiji bore the brunt of it. "i am still alive," thundered the matriarch when told mami was concerned about arnav's marriage. oh that remark about not using what you don't have, i.e., dimaag, brain, was a slap across mami's face. i felt its sting. and later, asr said the exact same words to kkg, often in ipk key dialogues were repeated, put in the mouth of others, their context slightly different, then they found their real speakers and hit home really hard. an interesting technique, i hope it was that and not some utter randomness.

poor manorama, that terrible helplessness of one not born in an elite home who aspired for a "higher" life but never ever got over her diffidence. covering herself all the time with make up and gaudy expensive things was a desperate attempt to fit in. but her sense of belonging to a "lower" class was as firmly entrenched in her as shyam was hoping to be in khushi's life.

he bought ber for khushi. how dare he. hope she doesn't have even one of those things. reminds me of snow white's wicked step mother and her apples.

"the sweeter the lover, the blacker the core. scratch a lover and find a foe!"

 ~~~ dorothy parker ~~~

back at ar, asr realises khushi was the water sprinkler culprit. he calls her in, anger heating up the air around him, i could almost see steam rising. he is all set to throw her out, but he can't. he gets up almost choking with rage, and takes off his jacket. 

      

who could blame the poor girl for almost passing out at the sight of his hand on his jacket button. i was finding it difficult to breathe and i was just seeing him on screen .

in sheer frustration he moves toward her, and again that intimate space, as though held together they are by an invisible force. he's angry, she's worried, again cowering before his bully stance.

      

he's possibly wondering how to punish her and at the same time give her a task she's sure to fail in. she retreats. and almost falls. his hand instantly shoots out, catches her, and holds on. 

   

     

didn't the same hand drop her just the day before, deliberately letting go? why didn't he let her fall today? he was angry, he wanted to throttle her most likely, yet he saved her. and held on.

the momentum carries her right up to him. he looks at her. 

      

there's something in those eyes i swear i haven't seen before. what is in that look? does asr even know he is looking at her like that? i don't see any of the anger we just saw a moment ago. almost like his eyes want to stay there, just rest on her face.

he moves away and breaks the contact, but you can sense it took some effort, and he is just wanting to get away. barks at her to take dictation, looking to reassert his superior status, keep her terrified. and the dictation starts.

subtle ebb and flow of arnav and khushi toward and away from each other. the ocean is trying not to let anyone discover or fathom his depth. but happiness has a way of winning always. especially when it says it will do and do some more, not just give up.

today one of the bravest girls in our country passed away. ipk was about people like her. girls who are not scared. men who know how to fight with a girl, challenge her, but also respect her. interestingly the man who claimed to be the most steeped in religion and indian culture turned out to be the monster, not the man who said terrible things and forced the woman he loved to marry him. he in fact, told his girl friend and later his wife, don't change a thing about you for me, be who you are. he realised his father was wrong and left that powerful symbol of patriarchy, his surname, and took his mother's family name instead. our television needs more people like him and khushi kumari gupta.

i wrote this take the day jyoti singh pandey passed away in mount elizabeth hospital in singapore on 29 december 2012.

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