episode 77 that feeling of badhia

i watched 77 after a long gap and it struck me again what an absolute beauty the episode was. i get the feeling the entire krishna season, starting with rakhi and ending a couple of days post janmashtami, took us to the heart of love. it's absolute awakening and establishment. and since it was the time of krishna it was as playful as the flute player himself. a keen tune he seemed to play and everything danced to that. even his dark side... shyam.

from 64 to 77, we went from khushi's return to asr's home... this is my house he had hollered as we remember... to his "get out!" and then on to a series of strange goings on, plenty tricks (by both good and bad forces), almost a sense of a crazy gaming arcade till we reached the ethereal moment at the pool, when her sanka finally cut through all the resistance, the rave rant accusations, everything... and made him smile.

and she was in his heart, you could almost feel it.

and finally at the end, the chunari chose its bride, the asli lakshmi, his "my house" on its way to becoming hers too.

from "get out" to a point after which there is no way out. a story got told fluently, almost flawlessly. khushi even managed to shock an auto driver with her forwardness and he had to refuse her offer of a coffee or tea.

i think the beauty was so intense, writers looked for little laughter patches so we could breath and so could they.

out of sheer curiosity, i searched for rakhee and janmashtami and came across this quote by an eminent cardiologist who is also a padma shri awardee, had to be a heart doc i thought. this is what dr k k aggarwal says:

"eight days after rakhi we celebrate janmashtami. the sacred thread tied during raksha bandhan connects us to janmashtami, when we celebrate the birth of lord krishna. in this period of eight days between purnima' and ashtami' we get a chance of cleansing and purifying our soul and subsequently getting reborn again.

this seven-day period, symbolic of the time taken for creation of the world by god can be likened to a recreation of the self by us. this period is to be seen as a time for penance when all negativism is purged to achieve the level of pure spirit. needless to say, all forms of spiritual downers' should be abstained from, so that a hindrance free communion with the soul is made possible."

in a way i am happy that mami took the opportunity to insinuate the worst possible thing about khushi. not only did i thoroughly enjoy kkg's attitude, i was again entranced by her true blue craziness... she carries chana, chips, chyawanprash (huh!) and what was the other thing, chameli tel?? in her jhola bag. when she upturned her bag and shook it, chana fell out in slomo... something real there about us and our bags. funny and tender.

but the most touching thing was her hand chancing upon the the final "ch" thing: "chabi" the key... the mannat ka chabi that she had almost forgotten. 

felt to me as though it stepped in to save her. to remind her of a beautiful moment, of a man she was driven crazy by but who she couldn't hate. as though he himself came over to protect her at her difficult hour. her honour was being questioned, how could he not be there.

that thought of him at the darga, that memory eased her from within.

again and again in ipk, inanimate objects come alive to take a story forward or elaborate a nuance, i enjoy this storytelling a lot. the key can mean so much, it is about unlocking always and this one had mannat, a powerful wish, attached to it. khushi was perhaps the key that unlocked asr, that opened the door to a whole new world and answered all his questions. in fact she had just unlocked a door by the poolside... and she was perhaps his most powerful wish, one he had asked of life, only he had no idea.

pearls, doris, payal, jalebi, dupatta, pickle jars, gust of wind, a name, a song in the air, all tell their own tales and complete a story. each one is adept and most eager to take us further and further toward the core of it all.

the necklace was found on lakshmi. she who is named after the goddess of wealth would surely not let any harnm come to the real wealth of the house... which was to me the precious priceless love that was taking root in two beautiful hearts. when arnav singh raizada's father had betrayed his mother a terrible strike had been made on this wealth.

pyaar had lost its place in the hearts of those most able to bestow it and value it. nani ji had told chhotey way back that love was a problem and led to only terrible things so he should marry the girl she chose for him and not even think of love.

he had retorted he had no place for pyaar in his life. he, who had such ability to love, had done away with it from his lexicon. if there had to be a relationship, it had to be one based on being like minded, respect, even trust... but love? never.

he had lost all faith in love.

did lakshmi ji just make sure that love can find its way back to him and shantivan itself?

khushi survived the mami test but her heart was down. so much was happening to her today. and now to be accused of being a thief? well she had stolen a priceless thing and it was nothing as paltry as a diamond haar, but mami ji was not to know that. 

jalebi came to the rescue... via anjali, who had been feeling pretty bad for this dedicated worker, spunky young girl, and her new found friend, la. khushi's instant bounce back was heartwarming to see and of course once she is up and upbeat, can sanka be far behind?

i loved the attitude of the heroine in ipk. no prolonged misery and moping and tears. she is sensitive, she feels things, she gets hurt, but she has sunlight in her being, she is bright by nature. when you turn yellow gold to white you'll notice it can turn yellowish again i awhile. that's because the nature of gold, its yellowness is so intrinsic it is really hard to mask it.
like that, khusuhi's laughter, her optimism, her sprightly sparkly brain, her loopiness.

jalebi is very hardworking, just like khushi today. it takes them to talk of marriage and the fact that arnav ji will not marry. this is when khushi must prance in and tell her friend why that is just not acceptable. khushi is an instinctive deal maker. she knows nani and di want la to marry asr. she also herself has a major problem with live in relationships, it's totally alien to her. and khushi has her flaws, she does tend to interfere even if it is to make others happy. but today the alacrity with which she plays on la's basic insecurity about her looks and ageing is really sharp. khushi would have done well in advertising, she knows nothing makes us move as fast as fear.

fear, as alistair maclean has told us ages back, is the key.

so hold up the heebie jeebie of age and la is hurled into the inner space of terror. where there are wrinkles, grey hair, a lack of good age vanquishing creams and her heart throb looking drop dead in grey hair with two hot young babes on either arm. shivanya and shana... maybe those names have deep meaning but i am too busy staring at the man with silver in his hair and playboy air to really care.

till suddenly the photo speaks. nani, now presumably dead with that haar on her neck, guffaws at la and says hah, see the result of opting for live in. even a goat knows what's a better choice. shadi. lakshmi ji, that caretaker of precious things, readily agrees. i liked this light handling of a matter on which all serials on indian tv have obviously a very serious view, along with much shaking of head and self righteous moral lectures. here it's in a fantasy with a very strong and intelligent woman saying frankly it's not to your advantage to pooh pooh marriage, and the execution is through jest. nice. sticks in the mind, you are free to agree or not. no bludgeoning.

khushi is overwhelmed by the response she gets from la and in her wonder way sets about cooking up a plan. there shyam is always up to some plot and here kkg, difference being one tries to bring about good and the other anything but. however, shyam's plans make sure they fail but not before they have done some good too. after all it is the season of krishna and his namesake can't do only bad.

and so it is that thanks to shyam, anjali wants to wear the necklace and then again while talking to him, leaves it on the bed... making for that plausible explanation as to how lakshmi got it at all. and shyam it is again that is really instrumental in bringing about the search operation, that egregious allegation from mami leading to khushi touching and connecting with the key.

the best part about shyam's plan, asr hears that khushi was subjected ti a bag search. instantly something registered. he could sense she had been through a lot that day and he had added to her burdens too... 

when di said she felt they were being unfair to khushi, he sounded offhand. don't worry about such little things he said.

i wondered if he meant that. maybe he did i thought because he has shut himself out of the emotional scape so much, telling himself only di matters and nothing else. but i was wrong.as he leaves di and walks down the corridor, he is thinking of khushi and di's words. while the subject of his thoughts is happily rushing out of the kitchen having cooked up a plan to mount the shadi charge on him. a happy girl... elated with the thought of positive action and also in a fret about being late.

the episode moves into another space you sense, it's in the way the camera moves, the rhythm of things, the energy lifting up... something you know will happen.

look at the two of them. a thoughtful dark one, flowing smoothly inexorably silently. like the ocean, my mind says. 

and there is she, a sprightly bouncy one, dashing, making noise, aaj toh bua ji hume bahut daantegi, sanka devi parmeswari saare naam ek saath... like a rill or a mountain stream, tripping along.

they had to meet. bang. she is plastered against him. his hands come up instinctively. everything pauses. i often think how economically and beautifully ipk made use of the simplest of places for the most breath taking and exotic of lovers' meets. 

hey hey... the song starts almost instantly. little movement of brown irises; the slightest turn of head and a look at fingers on shoulder by hazel eyes.

an awareness. almost a new awareness. an intense one. and in both a quiet, a silence some where as if something has been touched within for the first time, it fills them and makes them want to linger there.

he moves his fingers off her shoulder... did he think of the day in the rain? he was thinking you could see? she is stuck. that jhumka... always something of hers seeks him or so it appears. beautiful design of character and costume, nothing is wasted.

"ek minute!" a little impatient and yet patient, husky and soft yet brusque. "main nikalta hoon," he'll take it out.

right by his heart a part of her.

this time the rabba vey is loud clear happy traipsing, there is no doubt in its mind that the story it writes just entered a whole new chapter of that feeling people call love. chhoti chhoti baatein... unimportant things he had said these were. yet the man who was accusing her of all sorts of horrible stuff just a while ago is now unable to just forget those chhoti chhoti baatein...

and here perhaps he is so very gentle because he knows she has been through hell.

the jhumka in his hand, days later there'll be a pompom in his hand, giving him succour as the key gave her today.

so enmeshed with each other through these telling objects they are.

she looks at his hand hold her jhumka, intensely aware of his nearness... ironically, she had just hatched a plot to get him permanently tied in marriage... to someone else. that was her job the way she saw it, she was not thinking of this undercurrent.

for some reason, today her heart really longed not to leave him though she didn't know that, or was it his heart? because now the dupatta got stuck on his cuff button. not once, but twice she got entangled with him. 

looking at her as they tried to free the dupatta, he seemed to be lost... then he suddenly touched reality and said... i love you.

it came out as... "tum theek ho?" faraq padta hai, asr... and lovely that you don't even know.

her eyes widened... did she hear the subtext? she blinked. miss madness. with the sanka that cuts through to his dil and doesn't let it hurt.

and then the most tender parting between them.

he couldn't look away, she had to turn and look at him.

outside all the plots and plans we make perhaps the heart writes its own story. falling in love could simply be the moment we learn to hear that story. their time had not yet come, but something told you it will. it surely will. hey hey...

at home, shyam waited to commiserate, instead she left him winded.

"haan, hum toh badhiya hain!" yes, i am great! she replied when shyam feigned concern.

she smiled remembering laad governor's smile...  that ajeeb poolside tryst... such an inviolable moment of connection. she remembered there had been something bad in the day but also she had made a new friend.

khushi was too happy to care about anything... she prattled away with jiji.
and when morning came, she set off to get her plan activated. 

the look on asr's face when he saw la and that "lavanya" deserves an award.

he was flummoxed, concerned and then totally irritated by the new unimproved la... don't call me arnav ji, change your clothes.

sana was goofy and cute and strangely vulnerable. may not be politically correct or acceptable what she is doing, but she was willing to do anything to get him. was that bluetooth being used for the shadi plans? the humour was dotty and fun. where do they get these deadly auto drivers from and what is with ipk and auto drivers?

khushi was in top sanka form. she went under jp's arms when he opened the door while jabbering nonstop.

a very angry (again) hot young man in brown shirt and waist coat (the wearing of which had left sundry older women dead before their computers) flung a chunari... nice story the writers had thought up to arrive at the next scene.

the dupatta flew and found its mark. after all, arnav singh raizada ka nishana kabhi nahin choogta. plus it seems their was outside help from dm. hey hey heyheyhey.

the time of krishna, radha had been found, i thought. all creatives deserve applause and acknowledgement for this beautiful episode. in it, all the flavours and tastes of an emotion and such fine entertainment. barun looked young handsome, a little vulnerable; sanaya was fresh and pretty and fey and beguiling; they both calibrated and touched and felt each moment making that meeting on the landing classic, unforgettable. all along there was that different canny look at pyaar.

as i watched them on the landing... so tender, unhurried, deeply immersing in each other, a little lost, not so focussed, silently appraising each other, a feeling rumbling... i thought of this very well known gana. enjoy. 

 credit: uploader

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episode 91 a feeling of love

episode was going beautifully, all the gussa, drama action that you could ask for, balanced with taste and understanding, written with lightness and ease. episode 91, where he will use her words to get maafi, forgiveness from his sis. "chhote kabhi galati karke maafi maange toh bado ka farz banta hai ki unhe maaf kar de, kyunki... chhotey kabhi galati jaankar nahin karte," when younger people make mistakes, elders should forgive, because younger people don't make mistakes on purpose.

lovely words... and a clever way to connect two people who just don't get it, though they are utterly gotten.

the saving di scene was over, children had apologised and a gruff but mollified asr had said "theek hai, doosra ban jayga," (it's ok, another one can be made), about the model that lay shattered in his room, ruining hours of hard work and the man's mood. though he had been angry with khushi for all the game playing and hurt perhaps at her telling the kids that he's rakshas, big, tall, and human eating (strange, huh, the day after i think of hannibal lecter and anthony hopkins's performance watching barun's asr, he is called a monster that eats children... telepathy? should i pass out, hyuk), after what she'd done for his beloved di, he was touched and ready to forgive her, and everyone for all the hidden "khufiya puja" with kids every year.

all sat relaxing in the living room and when khushi said she had to leave, he was strangely alert, watching her, as though something on his mind, or maybe he just didn't want her to go. but then she said she had to rush or her parents would worry and left. of course, just then anjali remembered, khushi hadn't eaten anything the whole day... vrat; and she had packed a dabba, box, of food for her, which she'd forgotten to give. that's all that was needed. he jumped to his feet with a "you sit, di, i'll give it." a little hesitation on the "aa...aaap," as though he was somewhat surprised at his own reaction, finding it hard to explain it to himself or anyone else. nani was thrilled and beamed.

and with that we came to a word and a look that refuses to leave my head.

remember that "wo..."? he's holding a ridiculous little steel dabba. she has just gone into a frenzy of nonsense talk at his call, thinking he's still mad at her about the model. no the moustache... no no it wasn't her idea, it was the kids... in fact he doesn't look good with a muccha at all, no really... not that? then maybe the pot? pot? yes the one with leaves... no she didn't break it... bilkul nahi, not at all... wo hamla gamne nahi toda. in a fit of spoonerism she has just said that attack sadness didn't break, instead of that pot i didn't break. he can't take it, he raises his voice, but ever so gently, er is that even possible? there's even a thin edging of right, haq, in it.

"khushi kumari gupta... do minute... beena kuch bole, ya sune, aur hile... do minute...meri baat suno." khushi kumari gupta... two minutes... without talking or listening, (she starts to move her hands, startled and shocked needing to do something, can she also sense that his voice is firm but not mean, not angry? oh she is not used to this timbre)... or moving... two minutes... listen to what i have to say.

khushi freezes and waits, as per laad governor's instruction.

"wo... di keh rahi thi tumne subha se kuch khaya nahin... wo...kuch kha lo."

wo... so utterly beautiful this word suddenly, just an er or um in english i guess. a gently curved upward wo, a little lost and wondering wo, a frenzy creating wo.a man is feeling things he's not used to. yes, in that wo is his gratitude for her handling of his di when she needed help. for being there. for doing what needed to be done and bravely, with commitment. perhaps a little guilt in it too for not listening to her when she'd called him frantically, thinking she's upto some trick again. but more than all of that, there's concern for her in it. not when she was with tears in her eyes, that was an involuntary response in him from the beginning. this was different, he felt an urge to care for her, he didn't want her to be hungry. he wanted to see her before she left, be the one to give her food to open that fast with... something he didn't believe in, but she did. he wanted to be the one. at the mandir on the day of teej, he'd opened her fast by mistake, making her drink water, just to keep her from passing out. but today, he did want to be the guy to give her that dabba. something terribly caring in wanting to feed someone, isn't there. an awfully tender feeling.

in that wo, there was care, a little embarrassment too, he wasn't used to doing this, he wasn't used to even feeling like this, and frankly this crazy woman just made him feel helplessly protective, he had no clue why. all of that in that one little hesitant, wo, and a looking away, searching for the right tone of voice and words. delightful. for i also felt a whole surge of the feeling commonly known as love in his one syllable. pehli baar mohabbat ki hai... akhri baar mohabbat ki hai. first time have i fallen in  love... last time have i fallen in love. gorgeous words of gulzar from kaminey playing on my comp, fits perfectly in with that "wo."

the man is asr yet he flounders a bit for the right words, not wanting to give too much yet wanting to give... asr, just a wee bit lost, but sexily, what else. that's barun sobti doing asr... can anyone else do that. 

she of course was dying of "tez bhookh," gnawing hunger, just moments before. and when she'd heard his "khsuhi," she was prepared for the worst.

then he said, "wo... di keh rahi thi tumne subha se kuch khaya nahin... wo...kuch kha lo." wo... di said you haven't eaten anything since the morning, wo.. eat something. a gruff sort of tenderness, i give a damn, hume faraq padta hai, all tumbling out around the sides and edges of all those seemingly everyday words. the ocean has anger, the ocean has love. both equally intense maybe, but there's a sweetness in his love that his anger can't make you forget. once you've heard him saying that to you, how can you ever hate him? no, not possible any more. not when you've felt this tenderness. for you have seen him without his mask, as he is. just a man looking at a woman, telling her, he does indeed give a faraq.

sanaya's khushi showed all of that with her strange khushi behaviour. first a nonplussed, heart flipping baffled look, then a grab of the dabba, this time not trying to avoid their fingers from brushing against each other. now why did that steel container, plain and from the beginning of time faceless, suddenly start looking like a pair of earrings, a 10 carat marquise cut, d colour, flawless clarity diamond set in each? and then she did what had to be done. scooted. possibly before it all overwhelmed her and she fainted again. you see the dhakdhak attack had returned the moment his sentence of "wo" ended.

there was nothing for him to do but stand there, arm extended, turned to statue by this implacably bizarre behaviour. finally, his mouth opened and out came another word that really was a code word for "gah, i faraq you." yes, he said, "ajeeb hai yeh."

in that private moment between the two, rabba vey delicately tiptoed around, "wahtsup, you two" it seemed to be saying.

dhakdhak dhakdhak dhakdhak...

she sits at the table thinking of him, the box open in front of her... his sweetness everywhere. di said you haven't eaten anything since the morning... eat something.

payal says are you going to just stare at this the whole night or eat? so she hasn't been able to eat...  "jiji, ussne diya hai... woh woh ll...laad governor ne..." jiji, he's given it... that l..l...laad gov. almost a caress on that "ll...laad governor."

"tumhe kya lagta hai... issme zahar hai?" what do you think, there's poison in it? payal pulls her leg and tells her to hurry up.

khushi has not been able to eat? really?

she sits there thinking of him, breathing getting faster, dhakdhak coming on, music plays a note of happiness.

slams her hand on chest, dabba (or diamond danglers, depends what ya see in it) in foreground. she has to stop that deafening beat, has to bring it under control.

"yeh hume kya ho gaya hai... humare saamne khana hai, aur hum kha bhi nahin pa rahe hain." what's happened to me... there's food in front of me but i can't eat.

asr not gussa. khushi not being able to eat. gadbad hui hai. there's gadbad, big trouble. la was picking on it maybe, she was looking hassled. but neither the small city girl nor the big city boy, for all their dil and dimaag could guess what's up. even when the dimaag boy got it, the dil girl wasn't quite there...

"iss... iss dhadkan ko kam karna hoga." i have to reduce the heart beat. and apparently this is achievable. all you have to do is not think of him and stay away from the man. you can do that, khushiji?

that will cure the acidity or "jo bhi bimari' whatever ailment this is.

decision taken, she flies past asr in the morning when he opens the door, ignores his call, gets called ajeeb, sets about enthusiastically to plan a way to get la and asr together on the way to nainital. a plan that will make sure they'll spend some time with each other. and ensure, says la, that asr will marry me

marry la? so why did khushi's brow pucker at that and a sad air pass over her face?

wo...

there was something fascinating in the writing of ipk. one actually felt one had seen two strangers meet, get to know each other, feel an attraction that was overwhelming, their relationship progress, and then they finally got together, intimate and essential in each other's lives. you watched a whole relationship come into being. that was just lovely. wo... brought us another step further on the path.

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episode 90 his way (vm)

so why did i feel so bad for arnav singh raizada today? he was curt, he was angry, he shouted, he was crusty and unfriendly in the extreme. yet, i felt something was not fair. maybe just the look on his face a couple of times. or the timbre of his voice here and there, but i got the sense that the hard hearted one was softer and gentler than many, and something in him felt pretty rotten today.

consider the scenario. the young man is all of only 26. yet in just a few years, by the dint of hard work and his sharp mind, he's built a strong business house, clearly in the black. his character, it is said, was based on the mills and boon hero that gul khan possibly grew up reading. at 14, i could have done a phd in that kind of romance novel, reading practically one a day. and believe me while the m&b man was tall, dark, and handsome, and definitely always a tycoon, he was never less than 35 years of age. usually 15 years older than the girl he'll collide into and their lives change.

here, asr is way younger, and he is the man who runs this show, takes all sorts of decisions without any support from an older wise counsel of any sort; of course, his uncle and cousin support him, but the ultimate responsibility falls entirely on his albeit most sexy yet still very young shoulders. if we are to believe in this character we have to understand, this wealth was not created by chance or fluke, a whole lot of effort and keen thinking had to go into it. that was mainly his.

and he takes on the challenge most readily. in fact, derives much pleasure from his work as well. the entire raizada establishment runs on his earnings. from whatever one can see, he is not overbearing at all, demanding things be done his way. he considers taking care of his family to be his duty, is utterly respectful of his elders, dotes on his sister. the only man he seems to lean on a bit for advice is his jeejaji.

an instance of his respectful ways. toward the end of this episode, he is seething about the eight young girls who have been brought into the house without his knowledge and who have wrecked his work things, yet when he sees naniji, he changes his tone instantly... gentler, courteous, with maybe just a trace of complaint in his voice.

that was just one example of the sort of things that are done with impunity by his family which seem not too fair to him. most of the members are fairly conventional in the way they view life and live. they are traditional, highly theistic, constantly engaged with worship and ritual. in matters other than religion too they do not challenge norms. they believe in marriage, they deem women should do "womanly" things like cooking and taking care of the family, they eat vegetarian food and don't bring alcohol into the house.

asr on the other hand is, as we all know, asr. he is certainly not into religious rituals, he believes he makes his own destiny which doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't believe in something out there, but whether it is there or not, he takes the responsibility of his own life, not willing to lateet some unknown fate take over. he does not believe in marriage for himself. he likes to eat non-veg food, and even drink alcohol on occasion, and his views on women are progressive, liberal. no question of tying them to their traditional duties, if you want to do something, go out there and do it, i am with you, seems to be his attitude toward the women in his life.

he is certainly different in his views from his family members. yet at a fundamental level his idea of duty is perhaps the exact mirror image of his naniji's.

everyone loves him, they live off his income, but they never seem to realise, he has a right to live his life his way. what's more, they are often a tad judgmental. even naniji, whose character has lovely qualities. anjali doesn't judge him but wishes he would change. people may not say it overtly, but they would do huge sighs of relief if he one fine day relinquished his ways and became like them.

is this fair? or is it fair to get hordes of kids into the house, without his knowledge just because he is not fond of noise and children? the least one can do is tell him. he might yell and shout, but he always doesn't finally come in the way of di's desires, does he?

the shot of him when khushi grabs hold of his hand while playing ankh micholi just stayed in my head. blind man's bluff, the day she returned to rm with her order of mithai and the gust of wind told him something was different, and he found her in his wardrobe, that day it had felt like the same game was on. today, indeed it was, and she was playing with the girls. anjali had requested she keep them entertained and out of chhotey's sight come what may.

so when she caught hold of him, she started with a "pakad liya na firse," caught you again, then as she felt his arms, blindfold still on, "arre phirse zaroorat se zyada lambe?" again you're taller than necessary. she had just had a most interesting play time with om prakash, the cutest of the prakash clan.

but this time it wasn't op.

a gust of breeze on a low angle pan around the two, as she held his arm and felt her way up. palm on face. a streak of current almost seems to run through her frame, haah! three cheers for stubble. even with eyes covered she can feel his asrness, no wonder his music plays.

er notice, he doesn't stop her from touching his face...

trembling hands reach up for blindfold, pull... and the signature one eye. but this time followed instantly by dhakdhak. he can't look away, she can't stop her heart racing. neither knows this thing has a name. she blinks, bemused. he's still, watching her, what's with the girl.

then with controlled rage, "kya kar rahi thi tum?" what are you doing?

lunacy in the living room.

"kya?" what? she prevaricated.

"kya kya? kya kar rahi thi tum?" what what? what were you doing?

the man who abhors noise and kids is back home.

khushi goes into high panic and supreme cookiness in her bid to protect the kids from his wrath. and we get to see some really funny scenes with the very expressive op as part of deal. but during this, khushi casually refers to him as laad governor, well almost, to op. considering the man is his employer, is this even slightly polite or right?

later, she describes him as rakshas, not human, laad governor, etc., to the children also. don't go near his room. he eats kids.

while on one side of the episode we see shyam up to his terrible tricks, trying to fix his horoscope, fudge raanisahiba, and shake off shashi ji, here we see asr discover destruction and disrespect in his room. a broken model that had taken days to put together, and a loud moustache sketched on his photograph. finally, despite khushi's best and most bizarre efforts when the truth come out, it's "aaa" shrieking girls rushing down the stairs time.

"enough!" no one could blame the man for shouting this time.

"toh yeh hain wo... jinhone model toda that," so these are they that broke the model.

the kids peer from behind khushi's back and ask,

"yeh hai wo..." this is he...

"wo kaun, beta?" khushi, sensing danger, fakes excessive sweetness: who he, child?

"aap hi ne toh kaha tha wo gussewala... jo baccho ko kha jaata hai. woh rakshas... laad governor," but kids will say it as it is... you'd only said that angry man... the one who eats kids. that monster... laad gov."

khushi is aghast. but it's asr i look at.

"kya kaha issne? rakshas laad governor jo baccho ko kha jaata hai... yeh tumne sikhaya baccho ko." what did she say? monster laad governor who eats kids... this is what you taught the kids?

"main jo keh raha hoon isska jawab do..." answer me!!! when he hurts he shouts the loudest. why did it seem as though khushi speaking like that about him really bothered him, and the tender one inside him was upset that such a nasty image of him had been conveyed to innocent children by the girl he had started calling ajeeb, maybe because she made him feel ajeeb things, things he had no idea how to describe. but certainly he didn't want her to say such things about him. i am wondering now, did khushi understand this?

just because he is brusque and confident, arrogant at times, and always master of the house, doesn't mean he doesn't need tenderness, care, someone to love him as he is. he shouldn't have to eat what he likes to outside or apologise for his way of thinking, because no matter who does or doesn't do what ritual, this man always does the best by everyone around him. and when he makes a mistake, his seeking forgiveness is genuine and deep. the only man on who he depends is playing a sick game and will betray him most terribly soon. no one will ever make space for his way of life unless he yells and screams. nah! asr you're a wonderful man, laad governor is just your ajeeb girl's way of saying you are.

if she is only 18, he is just 26 too. because he grew up quickly thanks to a nasty fate and a determined character, himmat dikhai... doesn't mean we can't give this young man his due.

vm: a man and his crazy girl

 

that ankh micholi is one of the funniest and dhakdhakest scenes i've ever seen. had fun using it in this vm a man and his crazy girl. click to watch the vm.

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episode 89 would you like a wink

again the darkness. and this time a falling away of the whole world along with it, a departure of even sound. she was plunging into another space, with a single message in it. dhakdhak. heart beat... quickening. 

there's only you and me in this moment. and that deafening sound. where does it come from? i have never heard it before, yet that's all i can hear now. where does it come from. surely not me?
 

for a clear thought to enter us, sometimes we need all the clutter to be pushed aside first. and when that thought is an axiomatic truth, the world does go away, leaving us alone with it. to see it, feel it, touch it, maybe even understand it. khushi stood in this moment with the only things that mattered. him and her heart beat. traipsing, twirling, speeding, sparked, galvanized. all that mattered, only that mattered.

i couldn't help but recall him leaping over steps, racing toward her to prevent her from falling at the temple on teej day. how she galvanized him. one moment casually talking on the phone, next transfixed, then racing. and so he galvanized her, one moment talking to everyone, next riveted, and then racing inside her being.

this sparking of each other. someone who makes you feel suddenly different, more, alive, could this be love?

creatives had used a not too unique devise to beautiful effect. yesterday an errant tear had alerted her to gadbad. when she should have been happy, she had felt a funny sort of sadness. and then this morning when she'd wondered about her "friend" who was both happy and sad at the presence of a person, from darkness again a suggestion had come that would show light. 

shyam had advised, "apni saheli se kahiye, ki woh dekhen jab woh yeh insaan ke kareeb hoti hain, tab unki dil ki dhadkan kaisi hoti hai... jabhi wo inke samne jaati hai, unka dhadkan tez hota hai kya?"

tell your friend to check her heart beat when she's near this person, when she's close to him, do her heart beats quicken? and if that's the case, it means only one thing. there's gadbad. not possible to translate this word into english i think, i'll settle for "trouble."

lawyer ji had cottoned on to the fact that khushi spoke of herself that morning, but he had no clue that he himself was not the cause of trouble. that man stood here... just as unaware. men.

"yeh kya ho raha yaha...?" the gladiator had glided in, gorgeous in swept back hair style and pullover on shirt, forcing me to be alliterative. "koi na koi problem iss ghar mein hoti hi rahti hai... insaan peacefully kam bhi nahin kar sakta." his voice was abrupt, irritated. what's happening, there's always a problem, no one can work in peace around here.

    
peace? when you look like that you expect there to be any peace anywhere on earth? khushi... khushi? are you alright? where are you, khushi? and why are you looking so lost? can you hear me? 

dhakdhak dhakdhak dhakdhak dhakdhak dhak... she looked around bemused, people's lips were moving, yet all she could hear was this strange, very strange beat. and then as she turned to look at him, all went dark.

darkness all around, and the darkest creature of the tale, we have both of these to thank for illuminating the moment. though khushi had no idea why her heart beat faster, she knew now it did. aisa kyun hota hai... a beautiful question has found its way into the tale.

shyam brought her the dil ki dhadkan message, anjali told asr about saansey ruk jaaygi, a terrible sadness when you think, two people who knew the signs of love so well, never could have it themselves. if only there were even one redeeming feature in shyam. but c'est la vie.

"chamkili!" huh?! la brings khsuhi out of her bemused reverie.

"gadbad hai?!!" khushi is lost in shyam's warning. "haan, gadbad toh hui hai," yes there's been trouble (problem), avers la in a clever little ipk dialogue play.

the shot of the bowled over khushi was the first indication, and now it became clear, creatives were modulating tone of episode, taking us from a week and more of very intense drama to something lighter, quirky, fun, with an underlying sexiness and romance. it was there in the treatment of the dhak dhak introduction. but now we moved to pure sanak with the living goddess of it.

she niftily pointed toward the cause of trouble, the tulsi pot, and said to nani that the sacred plant was indeed not in its right place but lying there among the other plants. as all onlookers practically passed out at this information, each for her own reason, and the giver of heart gadbad looked completely uninterested, she turned and said, "arnav ji, aapne paudhe ko wahan kyun rakha?" arnavji, why did you keep the plant there?

his expression went, "whhhaat?" most delightfully i must say, and in danced music, giggly and fun, the signature miss sanaka sound. here a thanks to raju singh, who apparently celebrated his birthday yesterday. ipk wouldn't be ipk without its music. and rabba vey was not the only thing that sticks in the mind. i was not overly fond of a couple of sentimental tracks, but otherwise, cool yet emotional notes. stay with you.

to give the man his due, he tried. he started to refute with a "mei-" but before he could complete his sentence, khushi winked at asr. yes, she did. at asr.

i was nonplussed, so was he. "what the-" almost completed itself through gritted teeth.

with big smile, intervened the nutcase "what nahin...pot... you kept the pot there with the rest of the pots... it's ok ok..."

killing narrowing of eyes.

"i can understand you don't know the difference between that pot and the other pots... happens happens"

mad hand swishing.

everything was moving too fast for the gladiator... he was used to lions, not sanka devi on a high. really, something of obelix after a swig of magic potion, in our khushi after a round of dhakdhak.

"arre! you're still standing here..." and then the command to the man often called the mighty asr, "go and get the pot!"

in reply a smashing double o look.

 
"that's a place to bathe, the tulsi should be in the temple... remember next time." she has just given asr instructions on minding the tulsi pot. hey dm.

mami, nani, la, all shocked silent spectators.

he is about to burst with with anger, "dekho tum zyada..." see here, you better not-

obelix could never be stopped at such moments, nor our kkg, "theek hai theek hai, aapse galati ho gayi... it's alright, ok, you've made a mistake... nani ji will forgive you... and dm won't mind also.."di is beginning to get the drift. she always had a special vibe with khushi, and that nuttiness appeals to her too it seems. asr is really a little slow on the uptake today, isn't he? possibly mind already blown looking at the mad woman intruding his thoughts.

"galati aap ne ki aur daant lavanya ji ko pad rahi hai...," khushi, frustrated with his not getting it,  presents the reason for this ruse, dragging la into the frame... you made the mistake but la is getting the scolding...

ah, at last, the man comprehends.

but before he can react, one more wink.

huh!

"aur aap ho ke apne galati hi nahin maan rahe ho... kaise insaan hain aap!" and look at you, not owning up, what sort of a person are you?

winking fit.

music in frenzy whirling like the dervish in anticipation of what? nirvana? enlightenment?

"stop!" he rasps, through tightly gritted teeth. ah nirvana it is.

he looks at la, and accepts, yes i kept the plant there by mistake.

everyone is astounded. especially the lady of the winks. as everyone goes their own way, he stands for a moment looking at her. what's in his gaze? dhakdhalk dhakdhak. mercury movement from fun to something gripping.

everything can't be explained. certainly not that about to say something but what backward glance even as he leaves.

sanaya was spectacular and in total sanaka form with a series of expressions as beguiling and nutty as his were hot and hotter.

    
89 was certainly an episode of expressions. perfectly pitched and timed. and the chemistry of the two was just as sharp in comedy as it is in romance. in fact, even in the midst of situational humour, there was always that awareness, that pull between the two. mark of a real "jodi," no matter what the mood of the moment, the vibe never leaves.

she was about to say something when suddenly her heart began pounding and before you knew it, gladiator was there... di, my laptop charger?

she gazed at him... and inevitably his eyes found her. the sweet beginnings of something here, otherwise that completely ott sound effect of heartbeat would have me turn the tv off. but again the acting, and emoting, how it never failed. the instincts have found each other and got together... now gut heart mind the rest of them start the journey. that tear and his silent long look in the office were perhaps the starting points of this new phase.

she actually rubs her ears... the sound of heart beat in it.

his eyes ask, "what?" almost gentle, quizzical.

"chamkili!"... for the second time la calls her back to reality.

... he is still puzzled by her worried, blown expression, a little eye talk then he leaves. that "unbelievable," "whatever" look in his eyes.

"let a woman in your life and your serenity is through." ~~~ henry higgins in my fair lady by alan jay lerner ~~~
 
and you sit quietly one afternoon reading the papers. think this is an everyday activity with no excitement in it? fear not. sanka devi is near and wondering about nearness and its effect on her ears, for dhakdhak it is they hear.

from behind him she tiptoes surreptitiously up to him, a scientific experiment is on. and the observation is... dhakdhak dhakdhak.

she runs back.

charges again. she seeks validity, proof beyond doubt. this time he catches sight of her sidling up to him in the reflection on the french windows. he watches utterly puzzled. "what the" says his expression. back she runs. and one more time... he gets up.

one of the finest and most tender yet sexy, funny scenes i've ever seen.

"kya kar rahi ho tum? dimaag kharab ho gaya tumhara?" what are you doing, have you gone mad?

she scoots.

only to peer back from behind the curtain...

again!

then the diligent experimenter comes to her inference... the matlab of it all.

"isska matlab hamara dil uss laad governor ke paas aane se bhi dhadakta hai aur jab hum uss se door jaate hain, tabhi bhi tez dhadakta hai...  matlab koi gadbad nahin hai.. oh and i've kept a vrat... this must be khatti dakare... koi gadbad nahin hai...dm, in khatti dakaro ke liye... baar baar thank you."

this means my heart pounds fast if i go close to laad gov and also if i move away from him... which means there's no trouble. oh and i've been fasting, this must be acidity and "sour burps," so there's no trouble. oh dm, for my acidity i give you many thanks.

dhakdhak = acidity as in khatti dakar. q.e.d.

stars gleam down on a man with a quest in his eyes...

there's talk of stars and romance, a skeptical asr smiles dismissively, while shyam dares to dream. and shyam who had introduced the idea of dil ki dhadkan that morning, finishes his day's work by mentioning that some people believe those who die become stars.

in a flash asr is transported to a place under the stars, where a girl with tears sparkling in her eyes had told him about her parents, how she believed to this day her parents have become stars in the  firmament. over to the girl, there she sits among her stars, thinking of exactly the same conversation...

while the general air of episode was one of humour and romance, a little yearning too, with touching cut aways to payal feeling terrible about her marriage plans ruining babu ji's health and happiness, there was a scene most vicious and ugly. shyam flung sindoor by the fistful at khushi's picture. felt like filth being thrown on her. like violation taking place. something ominous in it.

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episode 88 salt water

a tear.

today that one single tear that came from where who knows, yet we all do, the tear is in me. it came from a place within, glistened on the edge of her eye and rolled down visible clearly to him, before she knew of its coming or its catching the light and flowing down a feeling; touching it with its salt, telling it it's true.

sometimes the writing touched a sublime note. this was one of them. often while watching ipk, at the oddest of moments when no major thing is happening, perhaps just a look in his eyes or a play in her voice brings a tear stinging the back of my eye. it's perhaps because something senses the truly precious, the ephemeral, the thing alive, in a feeling between a man and a woman. 

and there they stood, a man and a woman. seemingly miles of distance between them in every way, yet there they stood and she was really his, and he only hers. it's just a moment. you can let it go and say it never was, but such things, once they happen, they never really go away.

khushi's feelings how powerful they were, how overwhelming, they cared not for her inner sanctions and restrictions, they bothered not that she didn't really have the experience to understand them, they just came and made their claim. he was hers, how could anyone else hold him? and he put his arms around another? 

and he had come to only wipe away her tears. 

why else had he come to do what he'd said he never would? for whom did he carry that slightest, incredibly beautiful almost-smile, whose expression brought it on? the smile on which face did he seek? and who touched his heart? the heart he said he didn't have. nahin hai dil asr ke seene mein.

                                     

the tear was its own answer. but khushi surrounded it with only questions.

"hey devi maiya, yeh kyun ho raha hai? hum pareshan kyun hain? akhir humare kahne pe hi toh... hume toh khush hona chahiye... lavanya ji itni khush hui... par jab woh dono saath... pata nahin hume kya... hum pareshan kyun hai." hey devi maiya... why is this happening? why am i upset? after all, it's because i said... i should be happy... lavanya ji was so happy... but when they were together... i don't know what.. why am i getting upset? she is so confused, so unprepared to realise what it is she feels. she is not supposed to feel like this.

but isn't that what made it valid? you feel for someone a powerful feeling of desire and more, with no rational reason or basis for it. extra-rational. isn't that the very nature of love? in fact, even of of faith? isn't love itself a thing of faith? can we start loving because you fit a certain bill? can we stop loving because you do things that hurt?

"kyun usske aankhon ke aansoo mujhe pareshan kar rahein hain? kyun use main rota hua nahin dekh sakta."  why are the tears in her eyes upsetting me? why can't i see her crying? rabba vey played its gentle piano notes as though asking curiously, yes, why? 

both are pareshan, neither knows why. the tears are like little vehicles to a separate different space, an extra-rational space where only feelings count. feelings that will come together and become "khushi, i love you" and in response, a tear rolling slowly down as she grips the phone, her man now in the embrace of danger,"i love you, arnav ji," it said.

perhaps it said it for the first time just now, here. absolutely brilliant writing. when we are moved in our core, even when we aren't aware of it, the emotion still has its say. sometimes this way.

he walks into office. stops nonplussed. the room is overflowing with plants... and there's a letter.

in hindi, from "tumhari lavanya kashyap." of course, there was no way he didn't know who had sent the letter... but still he went.

"i'm sorry... please mujhe rok lijiye, nahi toh pahad... se kudkar... main apni jaan de doongi." i am sorry, please stop me from leaving... otherwise.. i'll leap off a mountain and kill myself. okay this is the precise point when it not only registered that khushi has done this but also exactly how sanka she is. did he feel a little laughter bursting forth inside? just a teeny little "yeh ladki mujhe paagal kar degi" or "unbelievable" moment?

he put the letter down on his desk. and sat down, leaned back, closing his eyes. a familiar stance when his deep in his emotions. that first evening at the fashion show, later the sunday when he couldn't help but think of her after the resignation showdown, and now. every time, the lean back as though needing rest and the lids slowly descending taking him to his inner world.

inevitably thoughts of khushi came. first her voice, tearful, distraught, "aapne kabhi bhi unse pyaar kiya bhi tha?" did you ever even love her?

then tears in her eyes as she looked at him right here, in this office, only a short while back.

tears.

he jolted up, shaken to the core. tears in her eyes, even in a memory, is unbearable.

(really why can't he bear to see her eyes filling. my mind wanders and says, was there yet another story we were never told. had he seen her on that night that her parents went, an eight year old sweet and solemn little girl, tears brimming to her eyes and she trying hard to control it. did his subconscious have a memory that kept coming back whenever he saw her crying now? a story? ok i will not ponder this any more. just that too many times he asked himself this question, maybe a different, more complex story was it's origin.)

dammit! he struck the desk with his helpless fist.

"then all of a sudden, this tear plopped down on the checkerboard. On one of the red squares ... boy, i can still see it. she just rubbed it into the board with her finger. i don't know why, but it bothered hell out of me. so what i did was, i went over and made her move over on the glider so that i could sit down next to her - i practically sat down in her lap, as a matter of fact. then she really started to cry, and the next thing i knew, i was kissing her all over - anywhere - her eyes, her nose, her forehead, her eyebrows and all, her ears - her whole face except her mouth and all. she sort of wouldn't let me get to her mouth."

~~~ j d salinger, catcher in the rye ~~~

~~~ shashi babu continues his investigation and walks into a little trap laid by shyam. shyam is giving idiotic slanted smiles. life goes on.

~~~ nani is back and wondering what's different about the environment. he returns home with an elated lavanya. but the smile that made him really smile was his di's. the sweetest bro smile as she hugged him.

~~~ nani struggled with her smile.

~~~ beginning of navratri. nine days of the goddess. and the first arati is here. the story of her slaying the demon mahishasura in my mind as i look at shyam trying to act as the consigliere. on vijaya dashami, evil will be vanquished and ma durga will return home, come down only to help ram overcome ravan. but the real evil was the grotesques mahishasura... mmm did he twitch?

~~~ she stands before dm thinking of him. he stands before his pool, his place of solace, near his garden and thoughts of ma where he feels safe. and there's a girl with a tear rolling down on his mind. while she thinks of him putting his arms around another woman.

~~~ "kabhi kabhi hum kissi cheez ko poori duniya jehan mein dhundte rahte hain aur woh hota hai humare aankhon ke saamne." sometimes we look for something all over the world and it is right before our eyes. and if you want to find out what's really wrong with your friend let her do this test, ask her to see if her breath quickens when she's around this person. thank you, shyam, for that right before your eyes and dhadkane tez ho jaati words. very very clever writing. smooth absolutely. 

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