a wish at 5 to 12.
a man watches his wife silently, as she lies in bed, eyes closed.
he walks up and sits by a girl he can't live without, how much he would like to wish her on her birthday but the communications lines are down, short circuited.
no matter. he will try... again and again and again. he's a doer, he must keep trying. never say die.
a whole attitude to life, almost a philosophy gets expressed to me in that relentless trying by arnav singh raizada. might be just a birthday going off track and the scenes may be cute and funny or irritating and silly, but the story to me is that of a man who doesn't give up easily. in fact, ever.
again that sign of a man who engages directly with life and does all he can to make it work. much later, khushi will talk to him about bhagya, fate... he will feel wretched his sister had such a miserable life despite his best efforts. but i feel, that lecture needed a strong end line... that a human being tried his/her best is what it's all about. in that lies truth, beauty, even prayer perhaps. because no matter what bhagya might strike us with, we take responsibility and make effort. that is our duty. we are not just flotsam and jetsam in an uncaring, indifferent ocean of life where our existence has no impact... in that case why try anyting.
i love this character for reminding me of that basic need to always be at it. never give up.
i am watching khushi, lying there, eyes closed, pretending to be fast asleep. i know at one point i am going to get really irritated with her behaviour. and even not fathom it. but before that i try to just feel her feelings. she is a hurt young woman, no idea perhaps how to handle this whole thing, even her own feelings, mixed up and wretched and not being able to forgive and forget.
i will make every excuse i can for khushi in my head, because that love still feels real, even if writing is forgetting its role.
his hand comes up, in it a single red rose. her favourite flower. he had not been able to give it to her, but he will do so. rabba ve plays as he places it with something akin to devotion by her head, on the pillow. she is the one he has allowed in and she resides deep within.
he swallows hard looking at her... his hand finds its way to her, to tuck her hair away as he has ever since a night in a building collapsing... maybe something in him started to break and tumble that very night, the wall, the fort of indiffernce... gently the hair is tucked back.
ashko se kah paaoon na... kyun dard hai itna... the song goes in the background.
"happy birthday, khushi..." he is moved to tears by a feeling.
"i wish tumhe iss duniya ki saari khushiya mile." i hope you get al the happiness in the world.
a kiss on the forehead, lingering.
she was awake but she feigned sleep.
and she wept for him, but couldn't relent. what are these mixed up emotions that eat into us?
he stayed thoughtful, a little quiet... again being tried by this bedard world.
the he got up and left.
i am sure like scarlett he must have thought... tomorrow is another day.
tomorrow came on a plink plonk happy funny note. the episode had to be moved away from the intense heaviness of the previous night. this is a daily soap, audiences will possibly not accept to much of sadness at a stretch.
nk is the ultimate positive upbeat feel good character. he is consuming vast quantities of cake and poor asr has been roused first thing in the morning by the interfering love guru.
so rahi thi? he is shocked to hear that khushi slept through the much expected and insited upon wishing.
haan, admitted asr.
"nannav... what the..."
came nk's quick reply. cute... but do i really like it?
when nk tried to tell asr he was just not getting it right, the man said something i did like.
"woh so rahi thi usski problem hai, meri nahin..."
that she was sleeping is her problem, not mine.
a bit of a boy with an attitude here rather than a man who is all attitude and frantically fab attitude in this whole nk coaches asr in wooing his lover phase. it was light, but not really plausible. i can't quite see asr needing help in this department. or maybe he has a penchant for madcaps, we know he does love one, and so just tolerated nk... let him go on.
"main tumhari bakwas yahan khada hokey kyun sun..." why am i standing here and listening to your noonsense... the man had to exclaim and shove the plate with lodas of cake against nk's stomach
barun's body language was riveting as always.
the much repeated and liked, "lambi saans andar lo aur lambi saans bahar phenko..." take a deep breath in and exhale a long one, dialogue came up.
a couple of silly jokes... i get the feeling nk with his wacky but yet normal personality, a young man from australia, with views that most of us can easily identify with, connected us to the world outside shantivan and a soap. he was our ink to the real world.
the making of great effort to achieve an objective continues.
poor man goes to nani all boyish and soft, he says, "actually mujhe mujhe kuch chahiye..." so sweetly. hmm, maybe he doesn't want gran to guess. but gran sure suspects something when the mathura aloo poori request happens. and he clearly says he used to come for his summer vacations to delhi... so he could not have studies in a school in delhi for years together, he must have joined at fourteen and studied only a few years here.
anjali is down, it's monthly check up day, and her shyam ji ain't available. maybe she will ask chhotey?
how do sleeves of blouses become short the moment you are sad?
tension
at the breakfast table... mami akash payal triangle is looking gloomy.
kkgsr in angry vein, though she had tears in her eyes after fudging him
the night before, again avoids him and does not sit next to asr. nk
starts interfering cutely, plonking down beside asr. nani says
graciously she has made breakfast, mami spoils the fun asr looks at
wife, worried mami's caustic remarks will hurt her. akash just sits
there.
"manorama aap bhi toh ee ghar ki bahuria hain, aap kahe naahin phinger liphatiya karat hai," aaah nani in full form after a long time.
manorama, you too are a daughter in law of the family, why don't you lift your fingers ever?
he offers khushi the potato, grabs her hand, she pulls away... hmm, the man who does, keeps at it. alas, nk spoils the fun... khushi doesn't eat.
why why why i want to rant at the ever more petty young woman. attention seeking behaviour really.
"thanks, nani, bahut accha tha," with a little smile, the grandson thanks his beloved nani. lovely. she made the effort, he must acknowledge, even if the ploy failed. opposite of petty, this fellow.
he walks away, ire rising and also determination, "main vada karta hoon tumhe aisa surprise doonga jo tumhe achha lagkar hi rahega," promise you, will give you such a surprise, you'll have to love it.
tenacious.
as he dictates the message to be written on a card, anjali walks in.
"to my dear wife, khushi kumari gupta singh raizada..." she hears it and the madness starts in her again.
the moment he sees di however, it's "let me call you back later..." and he is with his sister. but she has heard he is again thinking of his wife. again that sense of being abandoned, she says it's fine and leaves.
and after a long time that music of tension, chaos and heartbreak...violin strings pulling out an emotion.
satsang talk is on. why is kkgsr always in this nan..n..ni ji stammer mode? what's thi? another achhi bahu thing, you must speak with asense of trepidation which will then be seen as tender sensitivity and the right way for bahu to address elders. i need to scream at somebody. really.
in a room staring at laptop, man waits with surprise. green shiny wrapper... arrrgh... wrapper aesthetics challenged show. she walks in, he has hidden the gift below the washed clothes. another raizda wives preoccupation, sorting clothes and folding. constantly.
a nice eye thing, he looks expectant.. she notices that and is then hesitant...
she sees the pack, again some pretending and walks away.
exasperated... he still tries once more. places the box in a more prominent place. she of course does not see it... not.
finally it gets to him. with an "enough!" air, an angry man with pursed lips and flaming eyes stands with pack in hand. and blocks won't give in wife's path.
"ab dikh raha?" can you see it now.
they really are like kids at times. that ease around each other. leg pulling, irritating. he had to stop all play so suddenly... maybe that's why he had to meet this young child woman, ber eating, talking to self, unpredictable, jalebi making, pagal angry girl. perfect playmate.
sometimes, nothing may make sense or even be very sharp writing, but when a man looks at a woman like that, that's all that keeps me there. there's a whole story in just a look at times. with all the tension drama conflict plot and denouement.
......................
fanfiction
No comments:
Post a Comment