Sunday, 6 September 2015

episode 198 part of your life

the girl talks to a goat, a poignant lilt in her voice. the young man stops in his tracks on the steps and slowly turns around, comprehension dawning and with it turbulent emotion. a terribly sad feeling permeates the scene and fills the entire episode.

what is this bend in the road that khushi and arnav singh raizada have come to. was this ever even remotely envisaged, by either? had he ever meant to hurt her? had she ever thought the man was indeed a rakshas? there was a beautiful turn in their story of shut up, get out, gussa just the other day, toward baat karni hai, bas karni hai, arrr-nav ji, hmmm?, aapne humare liye chooriyan kyon kharidi? such tender moments filled with expectation, brimming with a hope for tomorrow. and then out of nowhere had come the night. and here they were.

accentuating it further, the irony of the moment. he who thought he made his destiny, stands there duped by a misunderstanding, was it an ugly game of fate? she who believed the divine would make her destiny and never let anything go awry, can't even begin to fathom why this terrible predicament has befallen her.

there was such a deep sense of sadness and the helplessness of us humans before certain circumstances.

looking lissome and lovely in her red saree, khushi tried her best to fight off gloom. she almost had payal's forgiveness in the kitchen, her sister couldn't bear to be angry with khushi after all, but there had been chaos at so many levels. if you came to terms with one, the other beckoned. now khushi sat in her bedroom hugging a warm comforting body... lakshmi ji. she'd rushed up to get ready so she could go back for her pagphera with bua ji and jiji.

she asked of nani ji's pet, will jiji ever be able to forgive me?

maybe the animal knew how much khushi needed a yes to that and obliged.

at least someone is there in this house who talks to me, said a girl whose life had been turned upside down. she was tough, she'd weathered many storms and her encounter with shyam had not been exactly easy. even as she struggled to subdue that monster, she'd felt the touch of strange heartbeat raising emotions, a kiss by the poolside, a smile on a verandah, a hi in the hallway, baat karni hai, bas karni hai. and now no one it seemed wanted to speak to her. persona non grata she'd become.

in the sitting room an aunt is about to deny her niece...
"naahin, babua!" says bua ji and a man stops on his way up. asr has heard something in that voice, an ominous feeling. what's being said?

he turns back. and he hears khushi will not be taken home for her pagphere ritual. shock and pain seem to battle in him. he has told himself he feels nothing for khushi, but can he really not feel? a storm rises.

nani ji, a remarkable character really, tries to reason with bua ji. yes, everyone is upset but one must do what must be done, rise above the moment.

"naahin... ab woh humre parivaar ka hissa nahin hai!" no, says a girl's dearest aunt, she is no longer a part of the family.

asr had not thought about this at all... the repercussions of his precipitate action. how far and deep it would spread. it was not just a matter of him protecting di, something affecting only him and the girl he believed was a traitor. khushi would face consequences he'd never factored in. just as he hadn't known how much they'd affect him. his heart seemed to be shaken by that declaration by madhumati ji.

and even as he struggled with it, the cause of his roiled emotions appeared, all happy and chirpy, ready to go home. khushi... trying to battle the moment with her trademark happiness now getting harder to find. that running down the steps, almost oblivious of him, flying past, grinning, then her realisation that she has been left behind, a drooping, a flow back of despair and the return up the steps, down and out and again not almost aware of the man standing there... so so moving. he stood there feeling terrible.

much has happened on those steps, and today a pensive broken story on it.

throughout the episode, memories and flashbacks seemed to come at us. no doubt that's how the scenario and screenplay had been designed.

on the poolside, they had frolicked, almost kissed, dust had been blown out of a dazed eye. now she sat there in the corner, crying, unable to control her tears. how hard she tried to be happy, but...

he watched her from the room, getting ready, drinking coffee, he had not wanted to feel a thing for her, yet he couldn't not be affected.
all those feelings your dimaag doesn't want but your dill must feel. barun sobti took us to the heart of asr. he won't give a damn... he can't help it, he does... he calls upon his anger to drive away those tender sad feelings for that girl looking beautiful in red.. the girl he had something to say to.

thanks to di's demand, we are now in the suv with them. i have to say here i am beginning to find the presentation of anjali by both writers and daljeet pretty irksome and unconvincing. what's with the constant dead look, the whining tone and the demands, thankfully we had at least one tick off by asr earlier. i understand writers have to take story to preset points and they need a vehicle, but was this the only way? because in the bargain, a beautiful character, anjali, got messed up. anyway.

haven't we been here before, in the very suv cabin? all those gorgeous get out and shut up, the fight on janmashtami, the heartbreak on diwali, the air of growing attraction driving us mad.

today they sit tense, silent. in fact, have they spoken at all to each other till now? ever since that i hate you, barely a word exchanged, perhaps none. the tension grows. a funny pause as she'd struggled with her seatbelt... but no help.

he breaks suddenly. she falls forward, a bangle cracks or maybe more.

"get out."

she looks at him sad and shocked, then she does as he says.

he must get away, you get the feeling, or he'd erupt. it's all been too much for both of them. and he has no idea whatsoever, he needn't have done this... it's all a mistake.

he sees a piece of broken bangle of course, and a surge of memories, of feelings. a girl grinning before a mirror, happy with her bangles. he had given them to her...

a bridge to the girl, sad and forlorn on a street corner.

"dammit! kuchh ho jata toh!" he's panicking, a broken piece of bangle has cut her wrist... he must take it out... "kya aapne humare liye churiya kharidi thi..." did you buy bangles for me? "haan tumhare liye churiya maine hi  kharidi thi..." yes, i bought the bangles for you.

beautiful use of the chooriyan sequence to connect them and us back to days tender sweet and optimistic.

he grips the piece tight in his fist, as he has done before... what if i lost you, he'd yelled that time. now maybe he has.

he puts the window down. "aapne humare liye chooriyan kyon kharidi?" why did you buy me the bangles, her voice floats in. he throws the broken piece of choori out vehemently.

nothing but sadness in the air... what might have been and what in reality came to be.

never once could he take his eyes off her... it got so difficult to bear, he had to get away from her. the depth and lifelike complexity of emotions always touched. the eyes spoke louder than action and they said, without either ever realising it, they'd become part of each other's lives. a hissa, that could not be denied.


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