Tuesday, 15 March 2016

ana toh tha hi and a vm on love... harkat in your heart (vm)






"ana toh tha hi," asr said to khushi when at last he reached the wedding mandap. khushi had not doubted he would come. i wondered when he knew that he could never really turn away from khushi and when she became sure, he would be there, no matter what, hamesha.

perhaps it was the day he connected his heartbeat to her name... when he said "khushi" looking into a long dark window pane, eyes glittering, a frown characteristically in place. that moment on, was there ever a question of not coming to her?

he went to her home first thing in the morning, he solved her problem, he became a waiter for her, he flirted with her, he teased her, he said he understood her tears, he said he wanted to tell her something, and he flirted with her some more... he got interrupted, but in no time he was rushing back to her again.

and when he saw her in what he thought was an illicit embrace, he still couldn't not come to her, nor not drag her to him, make her his own. he came and caught her hand and took her to the poolside and said, "shadi karni hogi...mujhse." brutal yes, but there was no question of throwing her out of his life. he said for six months. he said you'll be my wife in name only, but he insisted that she had to stay with him, "mere saath, mere paas... mere ghar mein..."

he is arnav singh raizada, maybe he knew the legal implications of that arrangement. he knew maybe that if you have a wedding without the usual rituals but live together for six months at a stretch without anyone raising any objections, you are considered married even by law... no wonder he told his grandmother, where i come from, she is considered to be mrs khushi kumari gupta singh raizada, my patni.

and she... did she dream as she played with the bangles he gave her, that he will be there forever? or did her sixth sense know when he walked toward her unable to hold himself back and she didn't want him to, that he was here forever? how hard he tried to walk away from her that diwali night, and yet he came, raging and insulting but absolutely certain, he and no one else had to take her home.

people who make jalebi when they are upset have a strong utter sense of life, she just knew he would never ever not be there. khadoos, laad governor, rakshas he was. to torture him she would find many ways... but even if he called her characterless, she would want him to be there... hamesha... otherwise her saansey would stop. that simple.

i wondered what she must have felt when she heard his father's girl friend was her aunt. that the man who had lost all faith and found it back gazing at her stars with her, letting the moments spent with her melt away the darkness of his past, had lost his beloved maa because his father was in love with the woman she considered to be her mother.

but she knew, no matter what, he would come.
and of course he did.

and with him he brought every memory from the night of a girl crashing into a young man's arms. memories she held onto while all around her went crazy.

between them they shared a feeling... a feeling so strong, it could withstand the storm of nafrat, but more, it could happily bear every demand of mohabbat. till neither cared about only their own individual self and beliefs... till both broke the limits they had described for them selves and stepped out.

confident that the other will be there and that was all that mattered.

perhaps this is called love.

i was absolutely delighted with khushi when a night before the famous pheres, she told the man who had said wildly on a divine yell that what really had meaning, had matlab, was "that i love you dammit!" that she understood, that "humey bharosa hai... aap pe, aap ke pyaar par."

made this vm to totally get carried away by those moments. there are sound glitches, apparently imovie has this problem, but what the! i want to share this one... i hope you enjoy.



may there always be harkat in your heart.


 
would like to hugely thank gulzar, vishal bhardwaj and mohit chauhan for this intoxicating love song. i have been hearing this for a while and imagining arnav singh and khushi kumari feeling love, acting love, wanting love, giving plenty of it too. it's a rain time song... and the rain cascaded on that screen... got me, might get you too. 
 


a translation of the lines i used:


thode bheege bheege se, thode nam hain hum

just a little soaked, a little drenched am i 

kal se soye woye bhi to kam hain hum

haven't slept much since yesterday

thode bheege bheege se, thode nam hain hum

just a little soaked, a little drenched am i

kal se soye woye bhi to kam hain hum

haven't slept much since yesterday



dil ne kaisi harkat ki hai

what a thing my heart's gone and done
 

(i love that word harkat... it means to act or an act in its noun usage, to behave in a way, often used to admonish someone's actions, or say something a little caustic about it.)

pehli baar mohabbat ki hai

fallen in love for the first time
aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai

fallen in love for the last time
 
aankhein doobi doobi si surmai madhyam

eyes are drowning in light surmai

jheelein paani paani hain bas tum aur hum

the lake overflows with water, only you and i exist



baat badi hairat ki hai
a 
very surprising (confounding) thing is this
 
pehli baar mohabbat ki hai

i've fallen in love for the first time
aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai

i've fallen in love for the last time
 
khawaab ke bojh se kap kapaati hui halki palkein teri

your light eyelids quiver laden with the dreams
 
yaad aata hai sab

i remember everything

tujhe gud gudana, saatana, yun hi sote huye

tickling you, bothering you, while sleeping just like this

thode bheege bheege se, thode nam hain hum

just a little soaked, a little drenched am i

kal se soye woye bhi to kam hain hum

haven't slept much since yesterday

thode bheege bheege se, thode nam hain hum

just a little soaked, a little drenched am i

kal se soye woye bhi to kam hain hum

haven't slept much since yesterday



dil ne kaisi harkat ki hai

what a thing my heart's gone and done

pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
fallen in love for the first time
aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai
fallen in love for the last time

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