Sunday, 13 March 2016

episode 320 a man and his being

"bua ji, khushi kahan hai..."
bua ji where's khushi.

i thought to myself, he's become the character, hasn't he? this was not my first watch. it's not even an episode that i find particularly attractive. but as he said that, i somehow didn't care. just watching a character move through a situation in his life became enough. kept me focused and yes, even thrilled me.

there are many good actors and even in ipk most of the actors are highly adept, it's a remarkably capable cast. some have wonderful potential. some are wonderful doing what they are doing. most of them are very good at the craft of acting... expression, body language, dialogue delivery.

but really, when barun says something as arnav singh raizada, it becomes so much more than dialogue... it's constantly a making of a character. not a single line or even word he says, seems to be just that, it's always more, painting strokes unseen but you can feel it... a character keeps growing becoming real. 

i think barun thinks of acting a little differently. i don't know how he sees it or the role or the separate takes... but somehow he has created in my perception a whole human being who is much more than what he says or how he dresses or what he does. 

when i first saw asr i knew he could be exciting, he could be troublesome for breathing, he had anger and he had pain... but over these months i seem to have gotten to know him more and more and see that he is complex and not really easy to read, he has sides not always explicable, and yet a grandness and integrity he possesses that rivets, that won't let go. yes, he is handsome as hell, but even if he were not, he'd be someone i'd watch rapt.

dialogue is one thing... then there are his silences. in fact, he hardly says much. 

there are many clever idioms about silences speaking and the necessity of understanding someone's silence if you really want to understand what they want to say, etc., when i watch barun in his silence, i almost don't need anything else... no quotes, no explanations... the silence as expressed by his stillness, his eyes, his slight movements, his bent of body, his complete immersion, that's enough. pulls me in... i read things. and even after i am done, i feel there's more there that i have not yet read, maybe next time.

the last sequence of him standing staring at the pool, perhaps one of his finest in the show. and director was spectacular too. to allow an actor these long moments by himself without words, in a daily soap, where a certain twist oriented drama and constant action is the norm, is brave. and when something as strange as dadi and a remarriage track is being hastily worked in to make ipk more ordinary everyday kitchen audience serial, such a sequence is perhaps even a sign of true love by creatives. ipk writers were gifted, they always brought things fresh, unpredictable, smart, and deep to the screen. i get the feeling when they realised how far the actor could take the written word, it added to their work. not that all writing was always good, but sometimes, in the middle of an average episode, there would be inspired moments.. of writing, of direction, and of course, acting.

perhaps the idea was to take the story to asr's remorse... and quickly do away with it so that remarriage could be entered full force, all unfinished issues of temple marriage taken care of. and that's why maybe garima was made to lose control and slap khushi. asr would find her... and along with it there'd be the angrily flung statement by bua ji about how his grandmother came and said terrible things about khushi... and together with this and his memories of that night of their wedding, his coercion, her helplessness, including garima's slap then, a nice set of flashbacks would come along... he would feel guilty and terrible... then apologise.

as a design i feel it was fairly trite. especially that meaningless slap from garima. but again, piyumori mehta somehow managed to convey a sense of frenzy when she saw dadi... and it felt as if the momentum of that fear and frenzy made her whirl into the room and took it out on the one she could take it out on... her daughter. almost a helplessness in that act.

then walked in a man who was here to see the girl he loved and who was riled by talk of their being no formal wedding... one he doesn't want but is willing to go through for someone he loves. whom he never means to hurt and yet.

he spoke only to bua ji, maybe because she was the one who had been at his place earlier that day. he acted as a son in law with every right to walk into the bedroom where his wife must have been sitting. she turned her face away, something told him allow as not well, but he lost his temper anyway when she refused to show her face. 

i think i have written this before, in college my prof said once the eskimos have two hundred words to describe snow, it's so much apart of their lives. anger is so essentially an element of asr, he seems to have innumerable different kinds of anger and each one expresses something... most stunningly of course, love. also his completely shattered bit. then there is the khadoos anger, the arrogant anger, the impatient anger, the anger of a keen sharp mind that can see what others can't.. oh the look he gave dadi as he heard her declare triumphantly the rishta was over. he knew she was playing something... and right at the end said as much to her. if there were a way to frame up the different angers of asr's on my wall... sigh.

what i found remarkable here was both writing and acting.. asr has accepted he will marry her again. he has suggested it in fact... but he is not a cardboard character who has changed miraculously because script said so. yeah he has told her he loves her, and she has walked back into the room to tell him she loves him too, saying many things without saying them, he has smiled. all is well.

but he really doesn't get this need for wedding with all customs in. it irritates him. as it is he is mad at his dadi, then they have stopped him from coming to see khushi. but in a funny sort of way, and quite like garima here, all that rage and ire must come and rest in one person... the one he loves the most... without whom he cannot live... khushi.

he walks into the room... in abs asr mood.

"khushi, yahan dekho..." khushi, look this way... she resists, he gets angry, he spins her around... and sees the marks on her cheek.

with a beautiful instinct that really cannot be planned, director sends in rabba vey.

he watches shocked... she is tearful... then a totally lovely khushi momen,.

she rushes into his arms. her home, this man.

whatever he is, he is all she wants, she loves. she has told her aunt earlier that he is not at all an "
akhdoo ghamandi badtameez," stubborn, arrogant, rude like his dadi.

he is a man in extraordinary pain and one who is really kind and good. that anger is only his "sahara", his support. i did not like the writing there, you could feel the effort. but it did underscore khushi's grasp of asr and also her readiness to defend him, protect him... i think the moment she heard his mother had committed suicide when he was fourteen, an essential piece in her feelings for him changed... the relationship acquired a new dimension. grew deeper. there was also an answer perhaps to her question, aap aise kyun hain? why are you like this?

almost unconsciously his hand reaches her hair, stroking... just a moment ago his anger was shooting up. now this. but now the anger shifts. who has done this?

"kisne kiya?"

khushi protected her mother this time. said she had "huq" to do as she pleased. i have a feeling asr wasn't mollified.

"but i don't get it sab itni chhoti si baat ka itna bada issue kyun banarahe hain." why is everyone making such a big issue of thsi small thing he wondered. he really has no connection with rituals like these.

"in fact, tum..." in fact, you.

ah, i loved that. he was a little mad at her too. on the terrace he'd asked, "tumhe ho kya gaya hai?" what's gotten into you... he was incredulous. maybe he couldn't quite understand how someone he adored could have such a different point of view on something. something he clearly considered silly and regressive. and absolutely immaterial.

such a believable reaction.

"forget it!" he snapped trying to fight off that anger that discomfort brought.

"tumhe chahiye na... let's do it... karke khatam karte hain." you want it, let's do it... let's get it done and over with. so only for her, even if a little angrily, he'll do this.

unable to control his anger, he left. of course, he stood before bua ji and garima with a grim look and said in a terse low voice,
"bua ji, main kal subah dus baje apne parivar ke saath aaoonga... shagun leke," i will be here tomorrow morning at ten with my family... with the offerings of shagun. he is always a doer... he has agree to something against his will, he knows who wants it... and he will get it done, if that's what is needed to get her back where she belongs.

at the door, that place where much happened in ipk, he turned. and looked at her. there was again entire passages of a book in that look... i read his mind processing information while feeling rotten about the way khushi has been treated... especially that slap and what his dadi has said... i felt his first pang of remorse somewhere here.


shades of his anger coloured the rest of the episode. till he stood before the water and felt the truest anger this episode... an anger at himself and a terrible remorse off that feeling.

i have given khushi so much pain, the only reason for all her pain is me... and today when someone raised a hand on her, i was angry with her even then.

"maine khushi ko kitna dukh diya, usski life ki har ek dukh ka reason sirf main hoon... aaj jab kissi ne usspar haath uthaya, tab bhi main... ussi pe naraz hoon."

he didn't condone himself, even if some part of him knew he did everything because he did love her. he looked instead at his expressed behaviour and started chatting inwardly about this anger of his.

those last few minutes were so absorbing, i felt i was sitting by the pool watching him suffer... the power of a fine painting in them. 


random thoughts

~ bua ji is a darling who said "bas!" with hand up to stopwa. really, i was wrooied when things went to how such girls are called something the too "civilised" dadi couldn't utter, then about her owning the property... i wondered what new turmoil we'd be pulled into. but no. bua ji hai re nand kissore, won't have any of this nonsense. her bhatiji was too dear to her. of course, they needed her to say i break the rishta to have us on tenterhooks... this a serial, the new writer is reminding us.

~ the dialogue writer decided to have some fun about this slightly altered state of ipk... mami ji was assigned the role of chorus, "
kahe khoon bhari tang, ee toh ekdam reality so jaisan hui gawa... phatee saree ki sagun kal ho pai ya na ho payi!" why khoon bhari tang, this is just like a reality show... will khushi's shagun go through or not!

it was meant to be funny, i could only feel sad.

~ okay, shyam is here, sneaking in... so anjali was merrily lying to her family and chhotey all along. again that story, i wish was written with more care, depth.


that silence so very eloquent.

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