Saturday, 19 March 2016

episode 162 heart of silence

"does not everything depend on our interpretation of the silence around us?"
~~~ lawrence durrel, justine ~~~

khushi is doing hisaab barabar on thappad, he stands there... arms akimbo... hot, angry, gobsmacked and very m&b. and he is silent... though i can hear him saying so many things, things for which i can't find words, just feelings.

the opening scene of 162 was where the story really got told. that incredible force of attraction between them, which doesn't even need physical contact to ignite. put them in the same room and there's a fire raging... why even that? when one is merely thinking of the other there seems to be a simmer all around. right now... he is actually at a distance of a couple of feet from her, arms folded, just a thought of his hand landing on her cheek in the scene... yet my ears are heating up... he hasn't said a word.

the one who doesn't keep quiet, prods, "aap dekh kya rahe hain, humara gaal hai, aapka haath hai mariye thappad mariye na..." what are you looking at, my cheek is here, so is your hand, give me a slap, go on...

the man keeps watching this whole thing. something in his mind, ticking, registering, playing...

strains of rabba vey... an indication of changing mood...

don't make others suffer because of your anger at me... again khushi is sure it's all about her.

he steps closer... she's muttering something, inaudible... lips move crazily.

then finally, a couple of words, "maar doon?" should i hit you?  is there just the teeniest bit of smile on those lips? there's a suggestiveness in his tone, playful, yet sensual, wonder if she hears it.

she nods, yes.

"chhoro, rahne do... (a maddening pause as his eyes linger on her face, almost touching it with his gaze)... tum sah nahin paaogi..." let it be, you won't be able to bear it... oh lofty huskiness, where do you descend from and then disappear again into the eloquent pool of silence.

thought chimes in: she will bear the most hurtful "maar" some day soon.

but right now, its a moment to stop all games and lose oneself... as they look at each other. really all those silent exchanges between them, isn't that where the romance, the love was born and took shape?

and do you really think, it's because of you i am  saying no to sangeet, he asks. he's struggling to save himself it seems by resorting to meanness, as always.

"main tumhare baare mein sochta tak nahin hoon..." i don't even think about you... he is angry about that nk thing, angry with her, with himself even, i feel

stop giving yourself so much importance, kkg. she looks up getting angry herself, and somewhat confused...

asr felt things for khushi, powerful feelings, but she somehow had buried deep the stirrings of that night when she realised why she can't marry shyam, what was the cause of her acidity.

"maine mana sirf iss liye kiya tha kyunki mujhe naach gana aur shor sharaba pasand nahin...  mujhe khamoshi pasand hai..." i said no, because i don't like noise, i like silence... a funny sadness in those words, despite his annoyed, almost baiting tone.

"jisske baare mein tumhe pata bhi nahin hoga..." about which you won't know anything.

how is she to know... her talk keeps her sane, safe... silence possibly unnerves her, takes her thoughts to dark places, maybe that's why she needs to eat so much when she's silet... activity...

she is affronted, about to say something and he shuts the door.

now kkg will help device the silent treatment strategy.

khamoshi. silence.

a beautiful hindi film made in 1969/70 by asit sen; he made the bangla version first, deep jele jai. the haunting love story of a nurse in a psychiatric ward/or was it a mental asylum. it's from a song by gulzar in this movie, that ipk possibly got its name.

"humne dekhi hai in aankhon ki mehekti khushboo, haath se chhoonke isse rishto ka ilzaam na do...
sirf ahsaas hai yeh rooh se mehsoos karo... pyaar ko pyaar hi rahne do koi naam na do..."
~~~ gulzar, khamoshi ~~~

loosely translating:
i have seen the beauty (wafting fragrance) of these eyes, don't touch it with the hands and put the blame of a conventional relationship on it...
it's just a feeling, feel it with your soul, let love remain love, don't give it a name.

this beautiful song many of us on the thread will remember... as i read it now, i know in barun sobti's eyes and expressions the magical first lines of the song came to be, more than forty years after it was written.

couple of stanzas down,

"pyaar koi bol nahin, pyaar awaaz nahin,
ek khamoshi hai sunti hai,
kaha karti hai..."
~~~ gulzar, khamoshi ~~~

love is not an utterance, love is not a voice/sound,
it's a silence which listens and speaks.

(hope my translation is correct.)

asr and khushi, this is their love. which is why perhaps it never really mattered to me whether there marriage had social/legal validity... it was never about relationships named by us, it was always about love.

as new year progresses toward sangeet, a mood change is being affected... lightness is its goal. and so creatives go for humour. but somehow i found the writing a little too cute at this point. barun seemed to hint at it when he said, asr's fam is as usual busy making a fool of him... he is not a smart intelligent businessman really.

the arrogant, clever, angry young man we know will understand in a second what's happening when the whole world around him goes silent and into mime mode. especially since he knows kkg's mind, and he's just been obnoxious to her.

but no. we had an entire episode of this. what saved it for me was the acting by barun and also the rest of the cast. barun was understated, believable... he got the pitch so right. and right through he managed to hold on to asr. also, i thought about khamoshi vis a vis asr khushi, seemed pertinent, and made me happy.

man is asking aman to take a look at what's up with his office renovation, i'm thinking, nothing to write about here... he listens to aman's reply, his eyes harden, his body says heck, he says, "agar koi problem hai to fix it, dammit," a stressed "fix" and a leisurely emphatic "dammit," i start to type frantically. why so hot, mistah.

"hari prakash!"... call out to the servant, sahib needs ya.

"hari prakash, hari..." but he's here already... standing mum... "tum aa gaye ho toh bologe nahin?" you've come, so won't you say something? exasperated bwana.

hp is into sign language. no noise.

"what the... mooh se bolo, dammit." speak with your mouth, dammit, says the man whose eyes speak all the time, especially when his mooh doesn't.

later, in the kitchen, when he waylays her i almost had a heart attack... the frustrated male, bristling, who knows this jhalli with pompom must have been behind it all... exciting. how did he manage to save asr from cute i have no idea but he did.

"kuch bol kyun nahin rahi ho... dammit!" why aren't you saying anything, dammit.


"sab log achanak chup kyun ho gaye" why is everyone quiet suddenly, he raises his voice... "shhh!" goes she.

"main chup kyun rahoon? in fact, TUM kyun chup ho? BAAT KYUN NAHIN KAH RAHI TUM?" why should i keep quiet, in fact, why are you quiet? why aren't you talking?

the man is so used to her constant prattle, now she's quiet, what could be more unnatural... even worrying.

"kyunki aapko khamoshi pasand hai..." because you like silence...

di hasn't eaten, he stomps to the table to get food, before him stands kkg. even at a distance, not touching, a flow of magnetic particles between them... some theory of magnetism is being wildly validated here. all the time.

his little interaction with mami, nani, nk (who almost broke, that was a clever touch, neat understanding of character) all wonderful.

and in di's room, there was a bro, sexy in his utter love for his sibling, most concerned about her, not for a moment was he the man being fooled.

at one point, realising what di's holding out for he gives in. "okay, do what you want to do..."

"sach, chotey?!!" really?

"haan, par meri ek shart hai, aap ko pehle khana khana padega," yes, but i have a condition, you must eat first.

he feeds her and just look at that gentle lopsided smile... i have to die now.

then... just when they all thought they had him, "di, in sabse andar aane ke liye kahiye.." di, tell these guys to come in... "aur yeh drama band karne ke liye," and to stop this drama. (yes, i say the same.)

gorgeous... and why do i feel so bad for this boy now... just because he's good looking? or was there a man being trampled on with the sweetest lightest most beguiling boots and it hurt... we do have a right to be who we are, don't we?

"i don't think," then you shouldn't talk, said the hatter.
~~~ lewis carroll, alice in wonderland ~~~

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