Wednesday, 7 December 2016

feelings without name







the scene at the door, there was something bursting with emotions and a sophisticated push me pull you about it i thought. a feeling was proving hard to handle... he's looking tired, almost pale, a little lost... why did he stop and consider something? and then when she snapped at him, perhaps affected by that unspoken feeling, whether he would carry her in as he had carried her from the temple, i thought, yes, why did he carry her in the temple anyway... all that meri patni, then picking her up and their wordless long look at each other. of course, this is where he had brought her that night, giving her no option. is it because he had none? he needed her? searching for her, fearing what might have happened has taken its toll, he almost needs to touch her, with his hands, with his anger, with anything, but yank her close...
now he almost snarled when she goaded him. but then he reached and took her hand.

why?

soft gentle music came in as if looking to describe a feeling hard to put in words.

why?

he was not holding her hand when they stepped inside... did he just want to hold her hand and told himself it's all for di?
i don't know, i may be imagining everything. but barun sobti brought something to this moment, and sanaya added to it with her sassy nastiness to her husband, rude with absolute right she was, and angry... they painted such a powerful scene of love... of love not ordinary or banal in any way, of love that is essential to life almost.

how gorgeous that shot of him reaching and insisting on grabbing her hand but the next minute as she said, so do you want me to lie, he shot back, should be easy, you're used to it after all... oh the struggle within him. and that completely flummoxed look in her eyes... these are real adult moments in a story of two lives, not some cutesie pie tv stuff.

and inside, after what he wanted to hear her say to di was said, he ordered her gruffly to come up... he had to vent. that angst of thinking she may be anywhere, lost, the angst of her perhaps being in danger, all of it had been to much.
and maybe because he was so emotionally wrought that he had to lunge forward, grip her and mention the chot.

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