Tuesday, 27 September 2016

episode 300 how angry is your love

ab dikh raha hai
? can you see it now?

tumhare liye hai.
it's for you.

hume nahin chah-.
i don't wan-

khushi, yeh tumhare liye hai.
khushi, this is for you.

teeth gritted by now.

he has bought her a gift, chosen it himself, had it wrapped, everything done the way she said she wanted it... but she doesn't want.

he even tries to control his temper but she is adamant. he leaves. he is angry. and is he hurt? does anyone care?

another meaningless dialogue about him trying to buy a smile. is that what khushi reads? is this our vishwas girl? where is the writer, has he too lost something money can't buy?

and what's with this friction that is beginning to tear asunder instead of lighting a fire. ipk was about essential man woman friction, that which causes conflagration. in which both are willing to scorch and burn and plunge in, finally letting their egos turn to ash and meld forever.

oh that sweet half smile when she starts unwrapping the gift.

humey ye nahin chaiye...
i don't what it, she said again.

but why?
he was flummoxed and asked a very logical question.

khushi, tum isse mana nahin kar sakti...
  khushi, you can't refuse this. what did he put in his voice just there?

pehno isse. wear it. now in full asr mode again, do as i say asr, hot exciting, demanding, maddening asr... don't tell me she didn't want to instantly fling her arms around him and...

the man who loved her as she was... don't change a thing for me... tried to change himself for her. tried to go gentler, do things her way. but she never saw that.

alas nothing felt real about this moment.

aisa kya ho gaya ki tum smile bhi nahin kar sakti?
what has happened that's so bad that you can't even smile once?

when a beast loves he is sweeter than a prince, but we chase a prince we cook up in our heads and never can let go of.

maybe we like to push him to being a beast again.

asr went to nk and raved, enraged by the way khushi had spoken to him.. itna gussa aa raha hai, i am getting so angry...

gussa through clenched teeth, tears in my eyes, yes yes asr, come back... be you. anyway, no chance of winning anyone over till you become unrecognisable. oh the pressure to change, never be you. and all you did was rave rant scream shout then fell hopelessly utterly in love... didn't khushi? of course, she did.

would the khushi you knew want to change you? she who would invite you to yell scream... never back down and always sense you with funny instincts?

if you're worried, relax... your word.

this is just the achchi bahu monster taking her over. but, some day, somewhere, she will be back... even if not consistently, but in memorable patches...so hang in there and keep the anger.

he threatens to hamesha ke liye end nk's saansey...

but my saansey are almost ceasing at what the girl with a voice even i can't recognise any more is saying.

yeh sab baat ka koi matlab nahin, all this means nothing. really, why?

because di is angry, mami ji isn't happy with her, jiji aur jija ji ke beech anban chal rahi hai, sister and bro in law are a-bicker, toh phir hum khush kaise ho sakte hain... then how can i be happy.

er, says very puzzled viewer, where is the connection.

i am missing something here... so it's okay to be cruel to the man who is trying everything to please you for not understanding this?

aside: many girls are brought up to believe to think of yourself, is a selfish thing. many boys are too. but i know in my culture a girl is practically trained to believe it is good and beautiful to think of others but never of yourself. in fact, if you show any signs of liking let's say, jewellery, sarees, things, if you wanted to have someone make you happy, you were sort of shallow and not really it. eternally grateful to writers for the character of mami... not in too many shows will you find such a character being endowed with any positive traits, but here mami was loved, and people sensed the good in her, her fierce love for her fam was deadly. it even beat her campy crazy taste. and she was lazy, yet nani loved her... ah that felt so good. because all the time women are presented as objects of utility... there to take care of things, be useful. mami chose to be useful in some ways... and not. no one loved her less or judged her because of that. but back to khushi, when you are always told to think of others, you possibly don't even know which desire of yours is valid, which is a sign of selfishness... no practice in examining your own needs... so in a way i get her mixed up state. and i so liked how asr kept asking her to be happy, exercise her right over him... there was scope for a stunning journey within khushi going all the way to understanding what her place in her own life was... thanks to this beautiful love she felt. just as she made him get in touch with his sealed off heart, brought light and hope and desire for something for himself back to him, he could have been the catalyst in her life too. the initial khushi in fact had even streaks of a feminist i thought, and asr had practically no gender bias... but the whole panbdering to television fare's achchi bahu imperative messed things up.

i thought she was angry with him... okay got it. but no. this is acchhi bahu, never does anything for herself, has no personal needs, all is done for others, mahanta attack. but even then, how is it his fault? if that is the case, that you can't be happy while all are not, why not tell him that? maybe he will get it? how is rejecting and hurting him making things better? what thinking is this.

aur hum arnav ji se naaraz bhi nahin hai. and i am not even angry with arnav ji. huh? okay i need to go...

but wait... what's this? hum woh sab kaise bhool sakte hain? how can i forget all that.

so, khushi, take a lambi saans and tell me, are you upset with asr... or not?
are you sad only because the whole family is not in a very happy state? or are you also sad because arnav ji was so brutal and unthinking? please can you take out that little toy heart your writer has put in you and kiss it once, so it can become a real heart... and then tell me what you feel?

kuch cheezen kabhi badal nahin sakte lekin kuch cheeszen toh badli jaa sakti hai na. some things can't be changed, but some things can be changed, isn't it?

if anyone understood that, do explain to me... what miserable waffling in the name of writing.

and now khushi is busy interfering in everyone's life to make them happy. only asr's happiness is of no value. lovely.

she is talking of akash going on a honeymoon in the middle of all this? while she can't even be happy with her husband's celebration of her bday?

how sensible and sensitive... this time i understand akash's irritation.

he and payal argue, he refers to khushi minus ji. a fabulous opportunity to show khushi can make mistakes and she needs to grow up, realise...

i liked payal's mat karo, khushi, ab aur kuch mat karo. don't do anything, khushi, nothing more.

i noticed it was all about khushi's hum. me.

hum chahte hai... i want.

khushi is so stuck on her chah, her desire... again, something to look at.

suddenly anjali wants a beta bilkul like her shyam ji, a son exactly like shyam ji. kaun galat, galati kiski hai aur sach kya hai... who is wrong, what is true. this search for the truth and talk of it, i always found intriguing in ipk. ironically, it touched the ad of ipk too... what was the sach behind the shut down, what was the sach behind barun's departure, what was the sach of the original story... ultimately all that mattered was our pyaar... and we stayed, perhaps bigger than vishwas was pyaar. nah, not perhaps, it was.

poor nani. i do feel for this character and jayashree t was marvelous at being nani. a strong woman who was firm in her beliefs and principles, who had seen much and who loved deeply, she had taken the responsibility of keeping her family together no matter what... and even now, she had to tend, had to bear... had to be there. again, who took care of her? nani and grandson pay the price the strong often do. no one realises how much they yearn to be loved and cosseted too... maybe that's why lakshmi ji had to be there? so so precious to nani. a seemingly funny choice, the incongruity of lakshmi ji always a cause of mirth, a comic thing to this choice of pet no doubt, but a perfect fit, because she spoke of a character, shaded her. nani loved her, and felt her pets love for her.

acene at the great huge siting room where so much happens, how often we have seen them here in many different frames of mind and state of awareness. the scenes from the day he married her in my head... he had grasped her hand somewhere near that spot where two chairs sit now. today they approach each other in the middle of a situation that neither can quite get a grip on.

asr sees khushi looking down and sad. he turns away with a dammit, still mad at her. she too looks away, humey bhi unhen nahin dekhna... i don't want to see him either. they both dash into people. and that mirroring we see in ipk often gets going.

nannav, yeh jo love hai na, it's fully blind. nk says that thing which has been oft repeated in the annals of pyaar... love is blind.

yes, it is. you can only love, in your way, to the extent you can... and if you happen to be the one that loves more, you will be a tad more helpless before that love. will that make you lose ultimately? i don't think there is any winning or losing involved in this thing. sometimes, there isn't even much joy... as now... but there it is. asr is angry with her insensitivity, yet can't help but look at her.
wise nk says, you can get really mad, but yeh jo lau hai na mere bhai, iss lau ka tum kuchh nahin kar sakte. you know... this love, you can do nothing about this thing.

asr complains that khushi drives him mad, now nk. but the moment nk speaks of romantic moments... he does get lost in them.

the fall, the ripping of a dori, the pearls...

ya, dekha dekha yaad karte hi tumhare chehre pe kaisa romantic look aa gaya... see, the moment you recalled such aromantic look came over your face, nk said smugly.

i loved a thinking man, rational being's "excuse me?"

and then he spoke of her dreamily, of all the horrible things that happened. great use of contrapuntal scenario/dialogue and emotion.

nk is horrified... is this a love story?

ha, my man likes that... energy and determination rushing back.

nk leaves, asr is in loopy happy khushi thoughts.

"pagalpan aur madness toh hai, jahan khushi ho wahan pagalpan aur madness toh hona hi hai..."
there's insanity and madness, but where there's khushi ther has to be insanity and madness.

didn't quite like that. too too too pat. episodes back, that "pagal" after the success of the getting payal to admit her love for akash, or the pagal of holi, or the pagal hai par cute hai... they were all lovely. this one was asr with artificial sweeteners. not good in ad, not good in skd.

okay, he has hit upon an idea to get her back to her smile... that's it! purane moments. 



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