Sunday, 18 September 2016

episodes 127/128 jeevan saathi

two episodes and a couple of enduring scenes

"sochne se kya hota hai... jodiya hum thodi banate hain... wo banawat hai... kabhi kabhi aisa lagta hai ki jeevan ek suhana sapna hai... achanak koi mil jata hai, pyaar ho jata hai... aur phir... shadi ho jaati hai..."
"what's the use of thinking... do we really make the couple... that one (god) makes them... sometimes you think life is a lovely dream... suddenly someone comes, you fall in love... and then... you get married..."

in a mother's words, the writers sent a beautiful and thought provoking message on marriage and how to seek a life partner. whenever i think of marriage i think it is the only "forever" relationship, permanent tie, we seek  which is made by us. the others are all the ones we are born with. no dna link, but we want to make a lifelong partnership, make an outsider into family. we use whatever means society gives us to tie each to the other... religion, law, social rituals. because somewhere along the way we figured, this works for us. despite all its shortcomings it works, it is rather beautiful by and large, and it sustains human life. which is why despite all the challenges to this relationship, it still seems to hold sway over our imagination, emotion, intellect. some day maybe we will not have this institution called marriage.

but till such time, what garima ji tells her daughters is of great value and replete with insight. having been married nearly 30 years now, and having gone through the experience of falling and being in love, i have to say, the writers did not a single ramanchi here. just one thing maybe... garima ji speaks of what we call "love marriage," well i don't think in families like the guptas, this is considered the norm. it may be accepted under certain circumstances, but the '"arranged marriage" is what prevails here. but i shan't quibble, for i really enjoyed these words.

"aur kuch toh.. kuch toh shadiya itni jaldi jaldi tai ho jaati hai ki, hum apne aap se poochte rah jaate hain ki yeh jo bhi hum kar rahe hain kya sahi kar rahe hain? kaun hai yeh insaan jisske saath hum poori zindagi bitane ja rahe hain? hum toh theek tarah se isse jaante tak nahin... hazzaron sawal poochte hain... lekin jawab ek bhi nahin milta...  kahe? ki oo jawab zindagi jeekar hi milte hain... aur kabhi wahi rishte jeevan bhar ka saath ban jaate hain..."

"and some... some weddings get fixed so fast, that we are left asking ourselves that this what we are doing, is it even right? who is this person with whom we're going to spend our whole lives? we don't even know this person well... thousands of questions we ask... but not even one answer we find... why? because that answer is found by living this life... and sometimes that relationship becomes the mainstay of ones whole life..."

of course, in her thoughtful, loving words are many hints about the future... khushi's sudden marriage with a man she barely knows, her many questions, her living with him to find the answers in time, and their relationship becoming central to both her and asr's existence. beautiful, isn't it. perfectly placed, not at all forced, a general theory of marriage and a special one.

in 128, she completes her thought.

"jeevan mein halat kaise bhi ho achhe burey... koi faraq nahin padta... jeevan saathi achha hona chahiye. bas."

"whatever may be the state of one's life, good or bad... doesn't make a difference... your life mate should be good. that's all."

koi faraq nahin padta... what a smooth assimilation of these core asr khushi words into a treatise (almost) on marriage.

life partner... somehow the word husband never says it all... this is who that person is... someone to walk this life with. jeevan saathi. and garima ji is right, if you crack this good, the rest is just detail. interestingly, in our changing times, the word partner perhaps has more resonance than husband for many. thing is, call this person what you will, here is a submission to a basic truth... we aren't geared to live alone, be all by ourselves... i know somewhere being alone is getting seen as being independent, free, master of ones own life, etc., but really, there's much to be experienced and gained from this seemingly imperfect relationship, with a jeevan saathi. my point of view, all may disagree.

"humara dil kahta hai, ki shadi ke baad tumhe jeevan ki saari khushiya mil jaayengi."
"my heart says, that after marriage you'll get all the happiness of life."

mother indeed knows best.

in 128, a little progress on the payal khushi front. even anjali can't take akash's hesitant steps toward the woman in his dil. he's so nervous, reminds anjali of someone going to take exams. and gentle akash doesn't get mad at his lovely di's choice of words. if you've never lived with extended fam you'll never know the giving and considerate love that sometimes grows between cousins and siblings and even second and third cousins. you forget to say the word cousin, everyone is your brother or sister. i have spent much time with my father's side of the family, people i refer to as cousin are often third cousins and i remember my father used to always call his first cousins, brothers. bhai.

charged up, akash bounds off to woo his lady love again. the pretext: invitation to bhai's engagement. a rather sweet scene. bua ji the abrasive martinet between two love birds cooing awkwardly. got to say both akshay and deepali were really good here. wish they'd used these talented actors and taken payal and akash to a well told story of love, marriage, conflict, understanding, acceptance or whatever. not just sidelined them and insulted their and our intelligence.

while the sweet lovers meet at gupta house, the faraq padta hai duelists confront each other in the shantivan hallway. note the battle music... let the war dance begin.

"anjali ji ne toh kaha tha ki... aap nahin aa rahe hain..." anjali ji had said you won't come...  helpless almost.

"kyun, tumhe kya faraq padta hai?" why, what difference does it make to you? a devil in his eyes.

then a little chicane over the issue of the ring. the moment he realised khushi had recommended it, he withdrew his approval and said all he'd said was it's nice, but he'd like to see more. strangely again, the delighted lavanya, did not notice the cool response to her elated hug. really, the moment he presents himself people are happy to turn into willing slaves... er i can't ahem blame them. but, what the.

he said: main ne yeh nahin kaha mujhe pasand hai, maine kaha achhi hai... aap aur dikhaiye. then over di and la's heads, indulged in flagrant  eye talk with his opponent.

a rabba vey as he sat looking at her... his eyes plotting... hurt... angry... deal maker is going to get his way.

seduction by war.

she looks at him, worried, sensing danger.

and the meanest trick on earth is about to be played.

"mujhe yeh khareedna hai..." he points to the set of ornaments her eyes had looked at with interest and a slight smile gleamed on her lips. he notices her, and how.

a deadly game played with a clear intention to deliver extreme hurt... asr music dresses up a battle most unfair. a deliberate walk to her... "khushi!" again that intimacy in his voice.

she's worried, confused, expectant, scared, everything, with just one move he will get her. he hands the set to her. she's all trepidation, wobbly voice, garbled words, "aap, yeh..."

the necklace is held aloft by slender hands, a gaze is fixed on her face.

"aap," a wretched whisper...


"lavanya..." has a voice ever been so cold smooth cruel? "mujhe dekhna hai yeh tumpar kaisa lagta hai..." i want to see how this looks on you.

oh the hurt in her quickly averted gaze at la's "it's so pretty, tumne mere liye choose kiya?" did you choose it for me? the liar nods.

his eyes never left her, not while he removed the hair from the nape of la's neck, not while he fixed the necklace, not while la hugged him in gratitude. one quarry he pursues
, one capitulation he craves. arjun's aim, arjun's lakshya... and she stands there hurt, breaking, slowly coming apart.

not satisfied with that, he strode up to her, predatory... "maine tumhare pasand ka set lavanya ko de diya..." i gave the set you liked to lavanya, he rubs it in. rabba ve... "i hope tumhe koi faraq nahin padta hai..." i hope it makes no difference to you. smooth and extremely nasty, voice turned deliberately woozy sexy, eyes calm and calculating... the meanest boy in class...

yet she loved him, and how. with asr, khushi really entered the mysteries of life. we don't make couples, the one above makes them, so many questions we ask, not a single answer comes, that comes only by living this life. rabba vey.


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