Thursday, 29 September 2016

episode 91 a feeling of love



episode was going beautifully, all the gussa, drama action that you could ask for, balanced with taste and understanding, written with lightness and ease. episode 91, where he will use her words to get maafi, forgiveness from his sis. "chhote kabhi galati karke maafi maange toh bado ka farz banta hai ki unhe maaf kar de, kyunki... chhotey kabhi galati jaankar nahin karte," when younger people make mistakes, elders should forgive, because younger people don't make mistakes on purpose.

lovely words... and a clever way to connect two people who just don't get it, though they are utterly gotten.

the saving di scene was over, children had apologised and a gruff but mollified asr had said "theek hai, doosra ban jayga," (it's ok, another one can be made), about the model that lay shattered in his room, ruining hours of hard work and the man's mood. though he had been angry with khushi for all the game playing and hurt perhaps at her telling the kids that he's rakshas, big, tall, and human eating (strange, huh, the day after i think of hannibal lecter and anthony hopkins's performance watching barun's asr, he is called a monster that eats children... telepathy? should i pass out, hyuk), after what she'd done for his beloved di, he was touched and ready to forgive her, and everyone for all the hidden "khufiya puja" with kids every year.

all sat relaxing in the living room and when khushi said she had to leave, he was strangely alert, watching her, as though something on his mind, or maybe he just didn't want her to go. but then she said she had to rush or her parents would worry and left. of course, just then anjali remembered, khushi hadn't eaten anything the whole day... vrat; and she had packed a dabba, box, of food for her, which she'd forgotten to give. that's all that was needed. he jumped to his feet with a "you sit, di, i'll give it." a little hesitation on the "aa...aaap," as though he was somewhat surprised at his own reaction, finding it hard to explain it to himself or anyone else. nani was thrilled and beamed.

and with that we came to a word and a look that refuses to leave my head.



remember that "wo..."? he's holding a ridiculous little steel dabba. she has just gone into a frenzy of nonsense talk at his call, thinking he's still mad at her about the model. no the moustache... no no it wasn't her idea, it was the kids... in fact he doesn't look good with a muccha at all, no really... not that? then maybe the pot? pot? yes the one with leaves... no she didn't break it... bilkul nahi, not at all... wo hamla gamne nahi toda. in a fit of spoonerism she has just said that attack sadness didn't break, instead of that pot i didn't break. he can't take it, he raises his voice, but ever so gently, er is that even possible? there's even a thin edging of right, haq, in it.

"khushi kumari gupta... do minute... beena kuch bole, ya sune, aur hile... do minute...meri baat suno." khushi kumari gupta... two minutes... without talking or listening, (she starts to move her hands, startled and shocked needing to do something, can she also sense that his voice is firm but not mean, not angry? oh she is not used to this timbre)... or moving... two minutes... listen to what i have to say.

khushi freezes and waits, as per laad governor's instruction.

"wo... di keh rahi thi tumne subha se kuch khaya nahin... wo...kuch kha lo."

wo... so utterly beautiful this word suddenly, just an er or um in english i guess. a gently curved upward wo, a little lost and wondering wo, a frenzy creating wo.a man is feeling things he's not used to. yes, in that wo is his gratitude for her handling of his di when she needed help. for being there. for doing what needed to be done and bravely, with commitment. perhaps a little guilt in it too for not listening to her when she'd called him frantically, thinking she's upto some trick again. but more than all of that, there's concern for her in it. not when she was with tears in her eyes, that was an involuntary response in him from the beginning. this was different, he felt an urge to care for her, he didn't want her to be hungry. he wanted to see her before she left, be the one to give her food to open that fast with... something he didn't believe in, but she did. he wanted to be the one. at the mandir on the day of teej, he'd opened her fast by mistake, making her drink water, just to keep her from passing out. but today, he did want to be the guy to give her that dabba. something terribly caring in wanting to feed someone, isn't there. an awfully tender feeling.

in that wo, there was care, a little embarrassment too, he wasn't used to doing this, he wasn't used to even feeling like this, and frankly this crazy woman just made him feel helplessly protective, he had no clue why. all of that in that one little hesitant, wo, and a looking away, searching for the right tone of voice and words. delightful. for i also felt a whole surge of the feeling commonly known as love in his one syllable. pehli baar mohabbat ki hai... akhri baar mohabbat ki hai. first time have i fallen in  love... last time have i fallen in love. gorgeous words of gulzar from kaminey playing on my comp, fits perfectly in with that "wo."

the man is asr yet he flounders a bit for the right words, not wanting to give too much yet wanting to give... asr, just a wee bit lost, but sexily, what else. that's barun sobti doing asr... can anyone else do that. 


she of course was dying of "tez bhookh," gnawing hunger, just moments before. and when she'd heard his "khsuhi," she was prepared for the worst.

then he said, "wo... di keh rahi thi tumne subha se kuch khaya nahin... wo...kuch kha lo." wo... di said you haven't eaten anything since the morning, wo.. eat something. a gruff sort of tenderness, i give a damn, hume faraq padta hai, all tumbling out around the sides and edges of all those seemingly everyday words. the ocean has anger, the ocean has love. both equally intense maybe, but there's a sweetness in his love that his anger can't make you forget. once you've heard him saying that to you, how can you ever hate him? no, not possible any more. not when you've felt this tenderness. for you have seen him without his mask, as he is. just a man looking at a woman, telling her, he does indeed give a faraq.



sanaya's khushi showed all of that with her strange khushi behaviour. first a nonplussed, heart flipping baffled look, then a grab of the dabba, this time not trying to avoid their fingers from brushing against each other. now why did that steel container, plain and from the beginning of time faceless, suddenly start looking like a pair of earrings, a 10 carat marquise cut, d colour, flawless clarity diamond set in each? and then she did what had to be done. scooted. possibly before it all overwhelmed her and she fainted again. you see the dhakdhak attack had returned the moment his sentence of "wo" ended.

there was nothing for him to do but stand there, arm extended, turned to statue by this implacably bizarre behaviour. finally, his mouth opened and out came another word that really was a code word for "gah, i faraq you." yes, he said, "ajeeb hai yeh."

in that private moment between the two, rabba vey delicately tiptoed around, "wahtsup, you two" it seemed to be saying.

dhakdhak dhakdhak dhakdhak...



she sits at the table thinking of him, the box open in front of her... his sweetness everywhere. di said you haven't eaten anything since the morning... eat something.

payal says are you going to just stare at this the whole night or eat? so she hasn't been able to eat...  "jiji, ussne diya hai... woh woh ll...laad governor ne..." jiji, he's given it... that l..l...laad gov. almost a caress on that "ll...laad governor."

"tumhe kya lagta hai... issme zahar hai?" what do you think, there's poison in it? payal pulls her leg and tells her to hurry up.

khushi has not been able to eat? really?

she sits there thinking of him, breathing getting faster, dhakdhak coming on, music plays a note of happiness.

slams her hand on chest, dabba (or diamond danglers, depends what ya see in it) in foreground. she has to stop that deafening beat, has to bring it under control.

"yeh hume kya ho gaya hai... humare saamne khana hai, aur hum kha bhi nahin pa rahe hain." what's happened to me... there's food in front of me but i can't eat.

asr not gussa. khushi not being able to eat. gadbad hui hai. there's gadbad, big trouble. la was picking on it maybe, she was looking hassled. but neither the small city girl nor the big city boy, for all their dil and dimaag could guess what's up. even when the dimaag boy got it, the dil girl wasn't quite there...

"iss... iss dhadkan ko kam karna hoga." i have to reduce the heart beat. and apparently this is achievable. all you have to do is not think of him and stay away from the man. you can do that, khushiji?

that will cure the acidity or "jo bhi bimari' whatever ailment this is.

decision taken, she flies past asr in the morning when he opens the door, ignores his call, gets called ajeeb, sets about enthusiastically to plan a way to get la and asr together on the way to nainital. a plan that will make sure they'll spend some time with each other. and ensure, says la, that asr will marry me

marry la? so why did khushi's brow pucker at that and a sad air pass over her face?

wo...

there was something fascinating in the writing of ipk. one actually felt one had seen two strangers meet, get to know each other, feel an attraction that was overwhelming, their relationship progress, and then they finally got together, intimate and essential in each other's lives. you watched a whole relationship come into being. that was just lovely. wo... brought us another step further on the path.







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