at last he smiled. a simple, happy smile, for her, and just because he couldn't help himself. ever since when i can't even remember, he hasn't smiled simply, happily, just like that. i think, the night on the terrace took away that whole feeling of carefree joy that his heart had probably felt for the very first time in many years. the man who had at last realised why that irritating girl gets to him so much, why he gives a faraq dammit.
and the next morning, walking toward her, just looking at her engrossed in large scale wedding time cooking, giving instructions, hair casually knotted, he had smiled, his whole heart and hope in it... and his absolute adoration for this jhalli crazy babe.
how he had loved knowing she finds him disconcerting. because. yeah, that thing.
today, after months, a little by chance accidentally no one had planned it that thing again, here at the poolside. the vibe between a man and a woman.
she was all serious and wife like, he a little distracted, caught between the chaos at home and the call of work. he had to make sure di was okay, but she certainly was not... he was worried about khushi. how would she cope with all this... and his heart was broken. di had turned away from him. and though in his go get it done way, he had tried to get her to listen to him, it had not worked. she had not eaten, nor had he, but he would not show a thing, he would dress in his cool brown suit, button the waistcoat perfectly, gel back his a bit too long badly in need of a haircut hair, and talk on the phone... he would reclaim his normal life.
i liked the attitude of this man. yes, he is beset by problems, but he will try and focus on the things that are still not out of control, that return a sense of normalcy.
she was perhaps feeling pretty bad at being told not to go near di. and i was wrong, nani ji had seen anjali pretending to be asleep when khushi had come to her room, which is why she had asked khushi to stay away from anjali for a while. but khushi too is an upbeat, optimistic girl, she tried to take the day head on too and her first job... arnav ji.
he had gone through so much and his talk with nani the night before, must have touched her deeply... not trusting her was the biggest mistake he had made he'd said.
he had not had breakfast or his medicines... she was here to make sure he had the medicines at least. how much we are taught to show love through such gestures, especially in a culture where love is rarely spoken about much... it is shown. and often in fairly prescribed ways... wives show love by caring for husband's food, medicines, etc. khushi wanted to tell asr she loved him madly possibly... i think he got that...which is why as he took the pills, lovely piano trill sounded...
and then came that moment when they both moved at the same time. once... twice. and came in each other's path, almost colliding.
the first time i saw this episode, i started smiling before he did...
such a terribly simple yet insightful moment. in the middle of pretty heavy and plodding writing, a leap into lightness and eternity.
a man and a woman and that thing between them. sublime chemistry.
i had told my daughter that time... she had seen the scene by chance, and asked if he were doing this on purpose and i'd replied, no... but now he will.
he did.
but before that, he began to smile.
i felt the joy of that. come back, asr... said my giddy asr phangurrl me. yes, vanquish it all with that lopsided smart devastating smile of yours. it was right here, you had smiled back in 75 and in a smashing cut through moment, when she had confessed to pouring mango juice in your shoes and not santre ka because that was not available, she'd got you... real bad. and with that smile had started an utter falling in love with a crazy chick.
though he had smiled when he saw her wonder at the fireflies, when he saw her while wrestling with lallan and gang and even when he spotted her on the cliffside lying in the bushes, this smile is differnt from them.
this smile is purely one of initmacy, of a strictly specifically asr khushi thing. laad governor giving jalebi bai a little something to get all flustered about... make her blush, make her smile. uff, it's foreplay, it's love making.
when things are really dark and difficult, when clouds are nimbus no sign of cumulus, sometimes a little sunlight manages to penetrate and light up the world... that smile of asr's felt a bit like that.
and to him, her smile would mean just that too. he needs to see her happy... both for her sake and i suspect his too.
......................
fanfiction
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