Tuesday, 27 September 2016

episode 298 blow out

di, yeh... maine mangwaye hain. di, i ordered these.

tumne mangwaye hain? you ordered these?

aaj wo... yes, today...

hamare liye? for me?

he was a little unsure as to how to handle this, his sister thought the red roses were for her but he had bought them for the girl whose birthday he really wanted to celebrate. he was wooing her in fact, dammit. trying to get her to be happy, forget the fight and the bitter words of the night before.

then anjali hugged him, and a tenderness came over him as he felt her in his arms... she had been in such a bad shape...

a hand went up to stroke her hair, his face showed his own need to see her well... almost seventy episodes later, as his di suffered terribly in a hospital he actually enunciated these words... when di was a little happy, i would think all was alright again. today he simply let his expression say it. he let her illusion remain. 

haan, di, aap ke liye. yes, di, for you.

and with that he just hugged her, held her in his protective arms, made her safe again. every relationship has its place and need. he faced a challenge not unfamiliar to most of us. when, though his heart absolutely yearned for someone he loved and he had bought something as simple as her favorite flowers for her on her birthday, he just could not give it to her.

because at that very moment, another love needed to be cared for, given strength. and his beloved stood right behind watching the whole scene, clearly understanding the problem and approving of the choice he made. yet, in his own way, with only his eyes to tell her exactly how much she mattered to him and who he wanted to give those roses to, he said, of course he knew whose favourite flowers these were when his sister presumed he meant her. khushi's smile, which had peeped out already, became slightly bigger.

i liked the communication between asr and khushi here. the only thing that said what the in the head, was that message that asr just couldn't have written. apart from its tone, he never called khushi "aap". 

i guess birthdays are about relationships in many ways. payal, who had also been trying to celebrate her beloved younger sister's birthday without much success till now, waylaid her when no one was around, holding her gift behind her, hiding it. khushi rose to the bait instantly. the girl obviously loves her birthday and a whole set of rituals are observed diligently by her family to mark it.

wasn't it on payal's birthday, when she had plans of organising a little surprise party that the man who was now looking at her with an ocean of love in his eyes had been instrumental in drowning her in a deluge? of an awareness that seeped through and poured all over and drenched the mind and body. and then there was the rain, of course.

a lovely little prattle between sisters.

kya chhupa rahi hai?
what are you hiding?

tumhara sar. your head.

she wants her gift, loves that leg pulling on her bday... khushi is looking happy and herself. the gota on the saree gets special attention. (how come that saree too was never seen again? another bday ritual, maybe?)

tum hamesha hamesha hamehsha hamesha hamesha khush raho.
may you always always always always always be happy.

payal makes a fervent wish for her sister. hamesha. it was always about that. especially today. 

i feel bad for deepika pansare, a good actress, she portrayed an interesting payal, a girl who was quieter and more composed as compared to khushi, but who had depth, integrity and who was capable of thinking with clarity, she even had a steely determination, clear sense of right and wrong and tried to tackle all problems head on, facing them and often viewing issues in a rational, intelligent manner. and she never ever sounded preachy or achhi bahu, managing to look like a real person despite the mandatory tv bahu ridiculous saree, makeup, open hair. in the opening scene of ipk, she was stunning i thought, later in her simple churidars and low key make up with that quiet, lovely air, and surprising little bursts of humour, she was a girl i really liked. there was an intensity in her, a potential one sensed.

she also had a protective, tender, unquestioning love for her sister. a lot like asr's feeling for his di. the sisters shared a strong and sparkling tie, how they had dreamed together back in the early episodes. payal never knew how key she was in her sister's marriage, but then again, it was thanks to payal, that the two had met in the first place.

chaliye chaliye, miss kkgsr ji, chaliye...
let's go, let's go, miss kkgsr, let's go.

miss kkgsr... cute.

it was nk's turn to wish bday girl. she was delighted with his gift, which was really a promise that he said he'd be her friend... hamesha.

she also said, she didn't mind at all about the roses. to bring a smile on someone's face if asr did it, how could she not like it? she liked his gesture very much.

asr had to hear that, in a touch of heavy, hindi serial direction, and quietly fall apart. poor chap, just wants to see her feeling upbeat and pagal.

when she walked into her room, there was darkness, and then lights. this was no dream from another day, it was actually happening, all those beautiful fairy lights hanging in clusters. she smiled. she must have guessed what was afoot.

i loved the lights, the look, the feel of this sequence. actually, i fell for the man woman thing by the poolside. that's where he had to set up a lovely surprise for his wife of course. though he had informed nk such things were cheesy.

but only asr could make cheesy downright knees knocking hot, i had no doubt. i even liked the cake, nothing fancy, perhaps ordered from this lady who does special ones from her home. khushi saw everything. khushi liked everything. her man's efforts were not lost on her. and i bet she wanted to have him wish her, make her cut that cake, feed it to her... you know all the bay stuff.

behind her, from the dark a man came out,  a curious apprehension in his eyes...

against the blue of the night and sparkling little yellow lights, his brownness was even more stirring... dark chocolate ganache in the after hours.

she gave him a sweet little smile... though she sort of kept her distance. i got the feeling she wanted his wooing.

then bag talk started. fur coat came up... ah, the cause of first rabba vey. maybe they should preserve it in a museum or something, orange juice stain and all.

forget it... bag ko bhool jaao...

the man said in asr vein, not smiling so much any more. instead, focused, goal oriented asr. okay, the little roughness in the voice, the clipped tone, the determined air, i just have to swoon.

birthdays can put funny pressures i think and the unexpected, not at all longed for can start to happen. some sort of crazy dance between two people that really is all about do you love me, show me how. it's an intimate thing... with most wives always complaining that he forgot or in my case, he never forgets but this angst in me around some sort of expectation.

key word i hit. expectation.

from the one you adore... because you want to be his most loved one... esp on that day. your day. oh i loved it when khushi raved about it being her birthday not his. and smiled with him when she planned her revenge. mosquito coil of course took me straight to the chaise longue and the canoodling warring lovers. i fell breathless into the pool when he commanded her to blow candle, saying i have set all this up and you jolly well will do as i say, celebrate, woman. that forced cake cutting, only asr ha ha. and the heavy duty won't give in, while my eyes are saying all sorts of things and my anger is showing love for laad governor, only kkgsr.

the expected janamdin things happened but in a slightly unexpected way.

i am weird i guess, to me all of this just said: super sexual tension, major pyaar.

the party included candle blowing, cake cutting, cake eating, and additional surprise delights like finger jabbing, wrist grabbing, force feeding, a dammit, a step forward step back (which was short but real sweet, intense), eyes going from anger to adoring, birthday tantrum, and a most unique way of joining hands to celebrate.

however, sorry, that whole i don't want all this...

nahin chahiye humey bina matlab ki banawati cheezen.
don't want all these meaningless, pretentious things...

pretentious? meaningless?

that was a senseless one. and very hurtful. okay, she was still mad at him and needed to be appeased. but this was churlish and ridiculous.

and it said, alas, to me... she really did not understand the man she loved at all.

which is funny, because she seems to understand other things pretty well, like why he gave his sis the flowers.

very weak writing. if they wanted to prolong the tension, there were other ways i bet to do it.

by the end of the show, khushi just started seeming totally insensitive. her love for asr hardly coming through. pity.

and that whole he does not know how to say happy birthday... a suddenly thought up story with no meaning, just to create five episodes. whereas the can't say sorry was highly plausible, given the man's personality; and melded beautifully with the story.

c'mon, let's cut the cake...

at least candle toh bujhao, dammit!

stop there right now!

since all these beena matlab ke cheezen mean a lot to me, i'll just be happy with the poolside romance. aww he put the fairy lights because during new year she had this sort of lights in her room. or is it because she just lights up, no fairy lights up his whole life.

even when she is being mean and a brat.

anjali made kheer, brought it up, gatecrashed the party, saw her brother and his wife together, realised it was her birthday, went fairly ballistic, especially about the roses... at last she knew whose favourite they were. in anjali like anger, she chucked the flowers. she recalled
scenes of khushi and her shyam ji in various situations. did she feel perhaps, khushi was taking away both the men she loved and needed from her life? her two mainstays?

she had instinctively known who was the stronger of those two men and clung to him. just the day before she had asked him to make life as it used to be before. he had held her, rock solid, reassuring.

did she feel horribly insecure and turn totally petty because of that... how could you forget everything, chhotey? you'd said i was your world, now when i am in this state you are having fun with your wife.

it all sounded terrible.

yet, had the acting been a bit more nuanced and the direction a little less obvious, including the too pat under dressing and flat colours, i may have still understood this.

it's a crazy state of mind, extreme insecurity. not only asr, she has lost her parents too in a tragic way. and ever since childhood, her handicap has had its own effect, its own cruel play, making her feel all sorts of things that those who don't limp can never understand. chhotey was her anchor, then came shyam ji... things seemed to be better. she reached out for happiness but not too boldly. she did her pooja and path, pacifying the gids, seeking protection, praying nothing should go wrong.

then everything did go wrong.

somewhere i can identify with that broken fragile feeling. even its hysterical, almost vicious questioning of her brother's right to be happy.

but khushi's almost equally vicious rejection of asr, i will never get.

you forgot everything, anjali said of the man who remembered every single thing and tried his best, even if in his laad governor asr way. 

"if you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?"
~~~ t.s. eliot ~~~


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